holly116 Thank you for your post. I read it and realized that this is me. My feelings are valid too, but how I express them is not right. H and I got into a huge fight on Saturday night that started out with me accusing him of something horrible. I feel bad, apologized profusely, and we’re ok right now, but didn’t quite get his perspective until I read your post.
Thanks, I’m worn out and lonely from doing everything for the family and working full-time too. I got really hurt by getting no reaction to sending DH a video and photo of DS2 riding a bike for the first time, but my reaction to him was not ok.
Post by 1confused1 on May 13, 2024 13:03:50 GMT -5
My Mother’s Day was so nice. Brunch and pedicures with my mom and sister, then dinner with the whole family.
One if my son’s teammates committed to a school to play baseball yesterday and we are thrilled for him. At the same time, I’m worried about my kid’s mental state. His goal is to also play in college and comparison is the thief of joy in these circumstances some times. I know it will motivate him to work even harder, I just don’t want it to take up space in his head.
I work for a large company across North America. I just noticed someone has included in their email signature “Work Hours 8am-4pm MT”
Like the Taylor swift song - you wouldn’t last a day in the asylum where they raised me.
This sounds like helpful info, what am I missing?
What is the point? Am I not allowed to email them past 4pm? Office location is listed, so I am aware of their time zone.
To me, it implies that they are not willing to work beyond those hours which is not helpful to their overall job function. We are not a 9-5 industry. No one expects them to be on call 24/7, but they support needs across time zones which may very likely require beyond “normal” hours.
I realize not everyone understands our company and operations. And to be clear, it is a great company. But I also saw it when I was working at 6:15am because I have to make a deadline.
What is the point? Am I not allowed to email them past 4pm? Office location is listed, so I am aware of their time zone.
To me, it implies that they are not willing to work beyond those hours which is not helpful to their overall job function. We are not a 9-5 industry. No one expects them to be on call 24/7, but they support needs across time zones which may very likely require beyond “normal” hours.
I realize not everyone understands our company and operations. And to be clear, it is a great company. But I also saw it when I was working at 6:15am because I have to make a deadline.
It sounds to me like they have boundaries and are informing people of when they can expect responses from them.
What is the point? Am I not allowed to email them past 4pm? Office location is listed, so I am aware of their time zone.
To me, it implies that they are not willing to work beyond those hours which is not helpful to their overall job function. We are not a 9-5 industry. No one expects them to be on call 24/7, but they support needs across time zones which may very likely require beyond “normal” hours.
I realize not everyone understands our company and operations. And to be clear, it is a great company. But I also saw it when I was working at 6:15am because I have to make a deadline.
They are in office for phone calls and meetings from 8-4. That's all that it means. Take your martyr complex elsewhere.
Post by Patsy Baloney on May 13, 2024 13:30:30 GMT -5
My brain turned off after “it implies they are not willing to work beyond those hours.”
Quit licking the boot, folks.
Even if you’re in an “on-call” industry, it just means those are the regular working hours. I would expect to call at 10am mountain time and reach this person, or get a call back within the work day (or early the following). Outside of those hours, I would expect to have a longer delay.
I feel sorry for folks who have to (or more often then not feel like they have to) sacrifice their life to work.
What is the point? Am I not allowed to email them past 4pm? Office location is listed, so I am aware of their time zone.
To me, it implies that they are not willing to work beyond those hours which is not helpful to their overall job function. We are not a 9-5 industry. No one expects them to be on call 24/7, but they support needs across time zones which may very likely require beyond “normal” hours.
I realize not everyone understands our company and operations. And to be clear, it is a great company. But I also saw it when I was working at 6:15am because I have to make a deadline.
I've had to log on as early as 4:45 before to meet a crazy deadline that happened while I was also covering a maternity leave. I was not in a good mood that day to say the least, and seeing this email signature would have pissed me off on that day for sure.
However, you know you can email someone at any time; they're only communicating their core hours when you can expect them to be more immediately responsive. They may log in for additional time as needed, but they are smart to not promise open availability. It also sounds like this person does not report to you.
Support across time zones sounds like a valid business concern to take up in a broader context of additional staff or a process change, not expecting this one person to shoulder coast-to-coast coverage.
Post by pinkdutchtulips on May 13, 2024 13:42:33 GMT -5
In spite of its awful start, mothers day turned out ok. We picked up the strawberries she pre-ordered for me en route to our late lunch - we were 30 mins late for our reservation that thankfully they held for us. We had a lovely lunch and in the middle of a restaurant playing loud music (Hard Rock Cafe bc she wanted the city and might as well make it Pier 39) decided to confide in me about something that happened with someone she knew created by someone she knew. I told her that I was proud of her for handling the situation and smoothing things over w person A but I also told her that person B seems to be creating alot of unnecessary drama and anxiety for her. It made my mama heart feel good that she did that!
J was understanding of me being late to our standing date night. He understands on rare occasions, time w her trumps him. This was one of those times. Thankfully, he started dinner when I told him I was on my way - rack of lamb with parsnip puree w steamed artichokes.
holly116 - what is the nature of the trip?? Is it something you have to do? I'm sorry:(
It's a fun trip with my DD, going to meet up with my sister.
If my mom decides she doesn't want to go, it will be her loss. DD and I will still go, I've learned over the years, the flights/hotels/etc. are separate or in my name. If any of the plans were within her ability to cancel to ruin it for us, she would. She didn't want DH or my sister's DH to go, so if she's out, they and my boys will most likely join us.
We went no contact from 2014-about 2019. I still keep her very much at arms length because it always devolves to something like this.
DH and my kiddos take me to brunch for Mother's Day, he plans it all. We have decided to rotate who we invite to join us for brunch between my mom, his mom, and my step mother. It wasn't my mom's year, so I attempted to make plans for dinner Saturday or Sunday without even mentioning the brunch because a universe where I can directly tell her my MIL or step mother is joining us for brunch and not her does not exist. She didn't want to do dinner either night. The only time I wasn't available was a 2 hour slot for brunch.
I tried to coordinate with my younger, non-married/childless brother to see her on Sunday. My sister lives abroad and I do care about my mom -- I didn't want her to be alone on Mother's Day. My brother flaked and then she blew up at me for "pressuring" him to spend time with her. I literally can't win.
It started Friday, she was sad. Jealous of those families that all get to together and celebrate like on big happy family... which again, valid. But... she hates my in-laws and my dad/his wife.. I would and everyone else would gladly get together as one big happy family, my in-laws and my dad DO.
But that's not what she wants, she wants her kids to choose her 100% of the time for every family event. Without room for anyone else.. which again.. is not realistic in our current family dynamic, but a valid feeling from her perspective. She would even go so far as to want me to choose her over my own marriage or relationship with my children. She is not reasonable or understanding and she has no sense of healthy boundaries.
The problem is when she doesn't get her way, she blows up, is mean, vindictive and spills that all over all three of us. I try to never ask her for anything because she will pull it right back/hold it over my head till the end of time.
I cannot take on reacting and trying to fix how she feels all the time, I did it my entire childhood/early adulthood. I wish she had a partner, or even a ride or die friend. She has always looked to her children to fill that space, at the detriment of every other relationship in our own lives.
My brain turned off after “it implies they are not willing to work beyond those hours.”
Quit licking the boot, folks.
Even if you’re in an “on-call” industry, it just means those are the regular working hours. I would expect to call at 10am mountain time and reach this person, or get a call back within the work day (or early the following). Outside of those hours, I would expect to have a longer delay.
I feel sorry for folks who have to (or more often then not feel like they have to) sacrifice their life to work.
Amen!
At my org we have a monthly optional lunch that brings together young professionals w/ people who have 25+ years at our org. Goal is to build camaraderie and some professional empathy across generations.
Last month a topic was raised of “what was work like before email/laptops?” It was such a fascinating discussion and I’ve had 2 long-tenured participants pop into my office since and reflect back on it with a “how did I not see where this all went wrong” type of mindset. It makes me hopeful and I plan to ride the life-first coattails of my Gen Z colleagues 😎
I knoooooooooow. He said he wants to stay home for college and live with us "because of the current market" (lol), and I'm all "oh, whatever you want we're good with, totally understand if your plans change" trying to keep it breezy but inside I'm like "please stay home, please stay home".
He could be a UNT commuter student!
LOL, not long after I posted this I went to go pick him up and he's back with UT-Austin, so. lol. I'm just going to buckle up because it's going to be a ride.
I am low key new car shopping, and H keeps ruling out everything I come up with citing IIHS safety ratings. What started as cute and protective is quickly grating.
The recent suggestion that he has panned is a Honda hybrid CRV. I am not exactly going way out on limbs here.
My brain turned off after “it implies they are not willing to work beyond those hours.”
Quit licking the boot, folks.
Even if you’re in an “on-call” industry, it just means those are the regular working hours. I would expect to call at 10am mountain time and reach this person, or get a call back within the work day (or early the following). Outside of those hours, I would expect to have a longer delay.
I feel sorry for folks who have to (or more often then not feel like they have to) sacrifice their life to work.
Amen!
At my org we have a monthly optional lunch that brings together young professionals w/ people who have 25+ years at our org. Goal is to build camaraderie and some professional empathy across generations.
Last month a topic was raised of “what was work like before email/laptops?” It was such a fascinating discussion and I’ve had 2 long-tenured participants pop into my office since and reflect back on it with a “how did I not see where this all went wrong” type of mindset. It makes me hopeful and I plan to ride the life-first coattails of my Gen Z colleagues 😎
I love this idea and may see if we can implement at my organization.
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus
What is the point? Am I not allowed to email them past 4pm? Office location is listed, so I am aware of their time zone.
To me, it implies that they are not willing to work beyond those hours which is not helpful to their overall job function. We are not a 9-5 industry. No one expects them to be on call 24/7, but they support needs across time zones which may very likely require beyond “normal” hours.
I realize not everyone understands our company and operations. And to be clear, it is a great company. But I also saw it when I was working at 6:15am because I have to make a deadline.
You don't care what their normal business hours are but don't expect them to be on call 24/7. So when are they expected to be "on call"? Our email system alerts you of my normal work hours when you're sending me an email outside of those hours. I believe the point is in your case is to let you know you might not get an answer immediately if it is after 4pm or before 8am. Myphone automatically goes to voicemail at 4:30 as well. All set up by the company!
What is the point? Am I not allowed to email them past 4pm? Office location is listed, so I am aware of their time zone.
To me, it implies that they are not willing to work beyond those hours which is not helpful to their overall job function. We are not a 9-5 industry. No one expects them to be on call 24/7, but they support needs across time zones which may very likely require beyond “normal” hours.
I realize not everyone understands our company and operations. And to be clear, it is a great company. But I also saw it when I was working at 6:15am because I have to make a deadline.
I am low key new car shopping, and H keeps ruling out everything I come up with citing IIHS safety ratings. What started as cute and protective is quickly grating.
The recent suggestion that he has panned is a Honda hybrid CRV. I am not exactly going way out on limbs here.
What cars would he be ok with? Maybe it would be easier to start there.
I'm so frustrated with work. I was feeling positive for awhile because there were talks happening that I thought were going to put me in a role I was more excited about post-reorg, but now those have been paused. And then I get a meeting invite and I have no idea what it's for, I ask for context and it's some big important project and my boss's boss is going to be on PTO so she gave them my name to serve as a delegate for her. Oh, but you can't give me the title change I asked for, ok cool.
All these college graduations are killing my daughter, who won’t graduate until June, thanks to the trimester schedule at her school.
Im not 100% positive she has all the credits she needs to graduate, but I am cooling my jets on that topic. If she did mess up her credit calculations, she can fix it with a summer course, but hopefully she is right and I am wrong on the subject. Either way she’ll walk with her class next month.
What is the point? Am I not allowed to email them past 4pm? Office location is listed, so I am aware of their time zone.
To me, it implies that they are not willing to work beyond those hours which is not helpful to their overall job function. We are not a 9-5 industry. No one expects them to be on call 24/7, but they support needs across time zones which may very likely require beyond “normal” hours.
I realize not everyone understands our company and operations. And to be clear, it is a great company. But I also saw it when I was working at 6:15am because I have to make a deadline.
Obviously you can email whenever, but if you send it at 4:01 MT, don't expect a response until after 8 the next day. That's useful to know so you're not sitting there refreshing or waiting on a reply. And (if applicable) don't expect them to accept a meeting invitation for 4:30.
I'm very much not into working more than you're paid for or screwing up your life because work has an "emergency" that isn't actually your problem. At the same time, I know some jobs aren't set hours, and that's known going into it and is the norm and is appropriately compensated. If that's the case, maybe they're just giving info of main work hours vs SOS hours, so it still seems relevant.
I am low key new car shopping, and H keeps ruling out everything I come up with citing IIHS safety ratings. What started as cute and protective is quickly grating.
The recent suggestion that he has panned is a Honda hybrid CRV. I am not exactly going way out on limbs here.
What cars would he be ok with? Maybe it would be easier to start there.
Anything with IIHS ratings of either G (good) or A (acceptable) for all of: small overlap front, moderate overlap front (updated test), and side impact (updated test if available). The available ratings are G (good), A (acceptable), M (moderate), P (poor)
The updated tests are more stringent and place increased emphasis on the outcomes for backseat passengers. A lot of cars performed less well on the updated test than the original test, which leads to weird results like cars with an IIHS Safety Pick designation, but a moderate or poor "updated test" rating on one or more measures. The CRV is in that position.
In midsize cars for 2024, it leaves Honda Accord and Hyundai Ioniq 6. That's literally it. (I'm not interested in the midsize luxury category price point, although many in that category would meet criteria.)
In small SUVs for 2024, it leaves a couple Mazdas, a Honda HRV, a couple Hyundais (Kona, Ioniq 5, Tuscan), and a few others, but most of those are much smaller in the cargo area than what I was looking for, and/or aren't available in a hybrid. If I go for an SUV instead of a sedan, I want to have enough room in the back for my dog's crate, and I was really hoping for a hybrid. So while he's not patently unreasonable in his objectives, the matrix of my wants + his wants makes for a very (very very) short list.
Post by fluffycookie on May 13, 2024 20:23:42 GMT -5
Today is the 22nd anniversary of my mom passing. I am actually doing okay. It’s normally a rough day. My cellulitis is continuing to improve. I slipped in the kitchen today and it was almost comical because I went down in what felt like slow motion but there was nothing for me to grab to stop the fall. I am sure my butt will feel it tomorrow.
What is the point? Am I not allowed to email them past 4pm? Office location is listed, so I am aware of their time zone.
To me, it implies that they are not willing to work beyond those hours which is not helpful to their overall job function. We are not a 9-5 industry. No one expects them to be on call 24/7, but they support needs across time zones which may very likely require beyond “normal” hours.
I realize not everyone understands our company and operations. And to be clear, it is a great company. But I also saw it when I was working at 6:15am because I have to make a deadline.
Obviously you can email whenever, but if you send it at 4:01 MT, don't expect a response until after 8 the next day. That's useful to know so you're not sitting there refreshing or waiting on a reply. And (if applicable) don't expect them to accept a meeting invitation for 4:30.
I'm very much not into working more than you're paid for or screwing up your life because work has an "emergency" that isn't actually your problem. At the same time, I know some jobs aren't set hours, and that's known going into it and is the norm and is appropriately compensated. If that's the case, maybe they're just giving info of main work hours vs SOS hours, so it still seems relevant.
I have noticed several people recently in my global org have added a line to their internal signature about their hours may not all to others hours and to not feel the need to respond outside of your normal working hours.
Oh, on the subject of people who have cookbooks, I put a Half Baked Harvest cookbook on our wedding registry just because I feel like I've seen a few recipes of hers that looked good. And man, turns out I can't stand her! The whole intro to the book is about "healthy" swaps, which is fine, but there's sooo much diet culture/"wellness" BS. Oh well, I hope the recipes are good - and if not at least the pictures are pretty?
Omg I could talk about her for DAYS. I believe her to be mostly a fraud. She's amazing at food styling but I think she's selling lies.
I've never heard of her so of course had to check out her website. It's one of the most annoying I've seen in a long time with pop up after pop up after pop up and half the page filled with ads.