Life with kids?

Yes.

We are still adjusting and DS is 10 months old. We really miss the days of taking long weekend trips on a moment's notice. Yes, we could do that with DS, but with the activities we like to do (brewery tours, drink craft beers, etc.) it's not appropriate for him to be with us. We also miss going to the car club events, we had a S2000 (2 seater) and they were expensive... that extra money has been eaten up with DC costs.

Our biggest thing is we are constantly feeling like we're one step behind. The house is never clean, the yard work is never done, other projects are just not getting done. Prior to DS, we never felt like this.

Would I change it though? No. I love that little guy dearly. The first months were tough since he was a difficult baby, but now that we're starting to get to the point where he can play a little more independently, he's more predictable, etc. we're happier. It has taken a toll on our marriage, there's no doubt about that. We are having a tough time fitting "us" in.

Lol, I think this sometimes too. Sometimes I miss having the time to lounge around and do nothing though.

I guess so. We would obviously spend more money and time on ourselves but we spent a lot of time being lazy and doing nothing before kids. I don't think that was necessarily a good thing and I don't miss that. A good nap every now and then would be awesome though!

We struggled with IF for two years so we had to consider a life without children. That thought made H and me overwhelmingly sad.

Ha. This is a good question for a day when we weren't up from 2-4a and the for the day at 5:45. Anyway, I agree with everyone that we'd have more money and we'd be more lazy without her. We go places almost every weekend now (which I love and h has come to love). Because of that we're a lot more social. We have friends that we didn't have before. We also eat healthier, are more efficient with our time and have better sleep habits (well, sometimes).

Yes! We would sleep more, travel more, work more, make more money, go out alone more, relax more and have a much cleaner house and a much smaller car. I think we would also laugh less, feel less joy and overwhelming love, and have less fun.

If we didn't have a child, we'd for sure have more money to spend on stuff like travel, and we'd have a lot more time to sleep in and lounge around the house. We'd probably have more fun money because we wouldn't have to save quite as much (we are currently saving furiously for our next home since our current home is in a bad school district; if it weren't for DD we would be comfortable here for longer--maybe not indefinitely, but definitely longer).

I think I would also be really, REALLY bored. Having DD was an impetus for a lot of great personal changes I have made in the last 2 years. Having more limited free time made me want to do more important things with my free time, and I have far more hobbies now than I did before she was born. I also started exercising to help lose the baby weight and feel more in shape keeping up with her, and I found a passion in yoga. Also because of DD and my PPD, I finally got my anxiety treated and am a WORLDS better person today because of it, though I am no longer medicated.

That's on a personal level--I couldn't begin to measure the amount of joy she brings to our lives. Some days are difficult and frustrating, and DH and I definitely have to work harder to make time for "just us" than we did before, and there are plenty of times when I wish I could just have a childfree weekend with DH (I have had a few without him). But on balance, it has been a really wonderful decision in our lives.

Honestly I was a wreck and a half the first 3 months. My life was in chaos and my most common automatic thought was "What have I done?" Things got better when she started going to bed around the same time every night at 2, 2.5 months, and sleeping longer stretches around 3.5-4 months. By 6 months when we did Ferber and she got up to 12 hours a night at a stretch, we really hit our stride and felt like we finally had our shit together again.

I was frankly kind of afraid to TTC #2 because I feel like we have a great thing going right now; DD can do so much for herself and we're very comfortable and happy with our status quo. Do we really want to eff it all up with a newborn again? I'm still nervous about it, but having lived through it once I know how quickly that newborn will grow and how much better we will feel once the dust settles.

It just takes time.

dude it gets so much better when they start to smile, laugh, and interact with you.

I would probably still be working - in at least a part time capacity. We would travel a ton more than we do now...I think that would be the main difference. We finally have the $$ to do decent trips but the only one who can watch DS is 4 hours away (my dad).

Mrsstarry - it's sooo hard in the beginning. It gets so much easier over time. Sttn, & regular schedules help a ton. I also agree w pugz. Once they start interacting with you it's like all the drudgery has a giant payoff.

YES> I can't fucking do anything by myself without asking another adult "permission" by virtue of being a SAHM who needs someone else to "take over" for me when I go somewhere.

My lifestyle actually basically blows right now. I should add that my DH has a job that makes it virtually impossible for him to share childcare duties in any sort of even capacity. I get no downtime.

Children - especially in the first few years - take up most of your time and attention.

Yes my life would be different. I'd be working full-time & maybe travel a bit more--I don't really love traveling though & I LOATH flying, especially without my kids to distract me from my anxiety & fear. So jet setting isn't exactly my cup of tea anyway. I'd watch more TV & lay around a lot...especially since we'd have more money to hire out cleaning, yardwork, eat out more, etc. I can be pretty lazy if not obligated to things. I like my profession but have never loved working or any of my full-time jobs. I would not be a work-a-holic. I like fixing up houses but ven with kids we were on our 3rd house in less than 7yrs--how much more fixing can we do? We worked really hard (fixing & selling/renting homes) to be able to get our hands on a nice big single family home in an amazing urban neighborhood in the city I love. We'd probably worked a lot less hard & be content with a small home or condo in the city (this is my dream hood kids, or not). God knows we would not have spent so many nights & weekends slaving away making our homes nice out of guilt (baby's coming, kid needs a nice yard, etc). DH & I were never super social butterflies & DH hates networking...so parties & gtg would still be rare & way less appreciated than now. We just went our first year without a major event--a move, job change, baby, remodel, etc. in 12yrs of being together & it was boring as Hell & that was with 3 kids....so we have making 2013 another year of change We better figure out some other way to make life challenging & exciting because we can't keep having babies & moving forever...LOL! As an adult I've always lived a pretty stressful, busy life & it must be because I like it that way. I really want for nothing materially, nor do my children--yes more money (weekly housekeeper!) would be nice but I don't feel like I've sacrificed diddly of what I wanted to have (lots!) of kids. Now I look forward to little life events--the kids starting school, starting HS, them getting first communion, first sleepovers, prom, college shopping, them getting married, etc. If I was kid-less...I am pretty sure DH & I would have a single focus & that'd be on retiring (trying to do so early probably)--which honestly is about the furthest thing from my mind now.

Hmmmm ....well, we'd get more sleep/ have more free time for sure. That's a given. Also, we may have more organized house. Monetarily, we lived on one salary for a few years before I became a sahm, and since then MH has had two promotions. So, we are in a better position there. I think if we didnt have the kids, me and my h would have done a huge cross country move and not looked back. But, with the kids we need to be cautious and think of the big picture. All in all our life would be pretty dull in most aspects

Sure, it's different- but it's what we expected it to be. DH and I knew we wanted kids right away - and we knew we wanted this type of life - family life being most important.... we're happiest when we're all home together having fun as a family- so we don't care that we are not out doing awesome things all the time now... b/c we'd rather be home together more - and do awesome stuff now and then