Thinking about breaking off the engagement.

Look, no one will think you are a fool if you make a grown up decision to not marry this man. I think making that decision displays a level of maturity a lot of people wish they had. It's a decision that earns you respect.

Would you rather be in a marriage you are not ready for with a man you don't want to be your husband over worrying about what people think of you?

I have been there - the decision is hard. If you know what is best for you, you just have to do it and not worry about what people will think. Some will understand, some won't, some will respect it and others will not. You cannot please everyone, you have to focus on what is best for yourself. You are the only person who is going to take care of yourself 100%.

To add on to that, if someone does think you're a fool and is unsupportive, well, fuck them. That person is not living your life. Ok, that's all.

would you be more embarrassed to get divorced again?

How did you truly feel about him before you became engaged? My guess is that you were already starting to have doubts and the engagement just magnified those feelings.

You deserve to be happy – screw what anyone else thinks of you.

It will be cheaper, easier (not necassarily emotionally), and less 'embarrassing' to break an engagement then to get divorced again.

Just curious....what are you seeing? Did you ignore red flags? Why did you agree to marry him in the first place?

And yes, ITA with everyone else.

None of those things are something I'd be willing to deal with it. I think you are best off breaking off this engagement and not seeing this man anymore.

Can you go to couples counseling to discuss these issues? Have you raised them before and tried to work on them? If they are deal breakers for you, then they are deal breakers and it's over but if there is a chance you can resolve these issues, I would pursue that first.

It just seems drastic to go from "he's perfect for me" to now having all these issues. I get stuff is ignored and tossed under the rug but maybe now that you are open to them, you guys can work it out? Only you can know if it's worth the effort but personally I don't see a need to rush in either direction unless you already know, in your heart of hearts what you need to do.

I kinda miss reading her posts.

DMNDS would be wanting to call it off for all these reasons (hello! Teenage daughter in his bed!) AND because she thinks her ex will take her back and she can once again live in the home with the placenta tree.

Yes, you would need family therapy, not couples.

It sounds to me like you're already done and don't want to put forth any more effort. Give the ring back and move on.

How long has your poor son had to put up with this abuse? Has it been like this the entire relationship? I cannot imagine being with someone who allows their children to bully my children.

I don't have kids nor have ever dated anyone with kids so I feel I cannot contribute too much to this post. However, I do feel like the problem is differences in parenting and I am not sure how this can work in a marriage of blended families and this could very well be a deal breaker.

However, I also know that relationships do take work and are hard. People in the relationship may need to break habits and patterns to make the relationship work and that times and counseling. If you aren't open to counseling, then it doesn't seem you are open to trying to make this work. That is okay! But just be honest about it and end things before it gets worse and your kids become more entangled.

Learn from this. Now you know that parenting issues can be deal breakers and that you need to be on the same page about parenting with someone you marry. These discussions are necessary before an engagement and marriage.

From this board, I have seen time and again how parenting styles are a huge issue and important to discuss early on. My boyfriend and I have already started talking generally about parenting and I am happy to see they align pretty well and we share similar basic principles. I think it is very important to respect who you are with as a person, as a significant other and as a parent. Sounds like that is lacking here and that is a big problem too.

It wasn't what she DID with the placenta, it was how she RAGED about not her ex staying there, but his new girlfriend being near HER BABY'S PLACENTA TREE!!! This was over a year after the break up. She just...can't let go.

Oh, and if your parents split up when you are a kid, you are DAMAGED! That one was a good one too.