WWYD re Inlaws

[Deleted]

I think this is probably not a big deal. It seems fairly common for family members to call other family members different versions of the same name. I guess it is kind of weird that people do that, really, but not a big deal.

With that said, we've talked of naming a future son William (if we have one) and I hate the name Willy. I don't really like Billy much either honestly, but Willy sounds gross (and isn't that nickname for a penis?). So I understand your dislike of this particular nickname more than I might if you were talking Kate/Katie or something else.

[thedutchgirl]

My brother and dad are both William and both go by Bill. When he was younger, my brother went by Billy, and family still calls him that.

Will is a totally different nickname. If it isn't what you want to use, tell the family that. My aunt did that with my cousin Jonathan, and 30+ years later, everyone still calls him by his full name.

[grk2012]

I'd just flat out say, "He prefers to be called Billy." Or say that you prefer it, whatever. I haaaaated being called Kathy as a kid. I was KATIE. Stick up for him.

My ILs keep trying to call our dog by a similar--but not correct--name from what it actually is. Not using the right name is confusing, for kid and canine.

[agnes]

If it was one of those things that pushed my irrational buttons, I'd say something.

But this wouldn't bother me. I grew up with multiple nicknames and my name is Heather.

ETA: I'm not saying you're being irrational. I meant it more like I know I get irrationally upset at certain things family do all the time and if it bothered me I'd say something if it were a battle I wanted to pick.

[fiddles]

He's 2. How does a 2 yo know what he prefers to be called? Just be honest with your inlaws and tell them it bothers you. Maybe pull them aside and not do it in front of everyone.

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[KaraOrNot]

This would not bother me at all.

[macmars45]

Dec 5, 2012 19:23:58 GMT -5 cjeanette said:

Dec 5, 2012 19:11:51 GMT -5 kooshball said:

I don't get the point of naming a kid William and then calling him Billy. Good thing they don't insist on calling him WILLIAM!!!

Billy is a nickname for William?

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It's like Bob is a NN for Robert which also makes no sense to me.

[aspentosh]

I'd probably say something but just not make a big deal out of it.

DD is Abigail. We call her that or Abby. My dad and stepmom call her RoRo (middle name is Rose). I have no problem with any of that. If someone wanted to call her Gail, I would put my foot down.

[gt7301b]

I would say something once and then let it go.

I can see how this would rub you the wrong way, pretty much anything my ILs do bugs me.

[ECB]

If it bothers you, say something. This is your child and you picked out the name - I feel you get to speak up if you want.

It's fine that it doesn't bother other pepole - but this isn't their kid. And it isn't their kid being called "Willy". Honestly- that's just bad.

[Deleted]

Dec 5, 2012 19:51:34 GMT -5 hannamaren said:

Growing up, if anyone shortened my name in any way, my normally very sweet Mom would say "um, sorry, no, her name is Hannamaren"
My sister is Samantha. She goes by Sam. She just doesnt reply if someone calls her Sammy or Samantha.

My mom taught me to do this. Then she taught me to say "My name isn't -shortened versions- it's -correct name-" and she didn't have to deal with it. I did it for her.

[morningmania]

I hate when people try to shorten my name. Typically they ask first, and I tell them no it is Morningmania, NO nn. Thanks
I do not see how this would be any different. "We call him Billy, I would appreciate it if you would also".

[DarcyLongfellow]

I'd say something. My daughter is Abigail, not Abby and not Gail. We didn't plan it that way before she was born, but the nicknames for her name just didn't seem to suit her.

As soon as she stared talking, she started complaining when people used a nickname for her name. She would insist, "He called me Gail. I'm not Gail. My name is ABIgail."

I've always corrected people. If it's someone we won't see a lot, I may let it go. If it's someone where it doesn't really matter, like a friend of mine who rarely sees her, I just make sure to use her full name when replying so hopefully the person gets it. Otherwise, I just say, "actually, she goes by Abigail."

Now, I will say that when DD was tiny, occasionally FIL would call her Abby. I didn't correct him. I don't hate the name (we actually thought we'd call her Abby before we met her), so it wasn't a huge deal to me. I figured he'd gradually get that she was Abigail, not Abby, and he did. Your in laws sound like they're doing it on purpose because they don't like the nickname you chose. That would piss me off.

[randp]

Seeing that you have issues with your ILs, I'm guessing you may not want to say anything directly.

I'm pretty passive agressive, so I if they called him Willy, I'd probably say (directed at my son) - "Who's Willie? Isn't that so silly. They are calling you Willie, but your name is Billy". Then laugh - and your son will probably laugh too. Keep doing it until they start calling him Billy.

[Deleted]

I realize now that my in-laws (like, every person in my husband's extended family except for his sister) call me the nickname I hate, AND use the wrong last name for me (they use my husband's last name, which I didn't take). Shrug.

[bronxgirl]

Dec 5, 2012 19:25:35 GMT -5 kooshball said:

Dec 5, 2012 19:23:58 GMT -5 cjeanette said:

Billy is a nickname for William?

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Right, but if you consider his name "billy" and want everyone to call him "billy" then really, why not just name the kid billy? Shrug.

WTF? You've never heard of nicknames?

[bronxgirl]

Dec 6, 2012 8:19:33 GMT -5 ECB said:

If it bothers you, say something. This is your child and you picked out the name - I feel you get to speak up if you want.

It's fine that it doesn't bother other pepole - but this isn't their kid. And it isn't their kid being called "Willy". Honestly- that's just bad.

exactly

[cookies]

Willy and Billy are two totally different names (even though they're sort of the same, but whatever). I'd be super annoyed. The good news is my husband would be even more annoyed so that shit wouldn't fly with him. He'd tell his fam to call him Billy so I wouldn't have to be "that guy."

[Deleted]

Dec 6, 2012 10:17:09 GMT -5 bronxgirl said:

Dec 5, 2012 19:25:35 GMT -5 kooshball said:

Right, but if you consider his name "billy" and want everyone to call him "billy" then really, why not just name the kid billy? Shrug.

WTF? You've never heard of nicknames?

And while I'd be fine with Billy there is a point where I would think the kid would be glad he can put William on things like job applications, resumes, and legal documents even if he likes to be called Billy by friends. I can't imagine many 20-60 year old men want their business cards to read "Billy Jones"

[martygras]

Considering I can't get my ILs to call me by my full first name instead of DH's nickname for me, I doubt they would change our potential child's name to what we wanted to call them.

[aspentosh]

Dec 6, 2012 12:14:27 GMT -5 @randomcdn said:

Dec 6, 2012 10:17:09 GMT -5 bronxgirl said:

WTF? You've never heard of nicknames?

And while I'd be fine with Billy there is a point where I would think the kid would be glad he can put William on things like job applications, resumes, and legal documents even if he likes to be called Billy by friends. I can't imagine many 20-60 year old men want their business cards to read "Billy Jones"

This is why I like formal names for a given name. Sure, I go by Katie now, but Kathleen sounds much more professional. Same goes for many other names with a common nn.

Tangent: my nephew's name is Cody. I cannot imagine a 50 year old Cody that doesn't surf and smoke weed.

[aurora]

I kind of liked that one of my uncles had a special nickname for me (similar to the difference between Billy and Bill). I don't know if it bothered my parents.