World's Shittiest Mom

[vegas]

I realize I'm probably going to get the hell flamed out of me, but here goes. And yes, this is more of a MMM topic, but I'm posting here anyway. DH has been sick for 4+ weeks now. After a month of illness and helplessness he had his blood tested and it turns out he has mono. My son has been a sick kid since the day he was born. The doctors finally put him on Singulair for his cough and because it helped they diagnosed him with asthma even though it's technically too early for a formal asthma diagnosis. So for the past 4+ weeks I've been taking care of a newborn and exclusively BFing/pumping, taking care of a sick DH (including time off work for doctor's appointments) and taking care of my DS who has been sick on/off. Wednesday the school called and said DS had a fever of 102 and needed to come home. I went to get him and have stayed with him for the past few days. DH is super helpful and an awesome dad but he's been on/off work for 4 weeks so it's understandable that he needs to be at the office right now.

I have a trial starting next week so I'm stressed with work and just feeling overwhelmed. I've never had anxiety before but I'd imagine this is what it's like.

Tonight I noticed DS isn't breathing well and when DH got home I asked for his thoughts. He immediately offered to take DS to the hospital to get him checked. I said sure and agreed to stay here with DD since she BFs and all. We were iffy re: whether we were overreacting and didn't really need to rush to the ER but DH said the doctor told him we did the right thing. They are doing a chest xray now.

Here's the flameful part. I'm sitting here with my DD sleeping and my DS in the hospital with my DH who is recovering from mono. And I'm relaxed. Like drinking wine and eating sushi feeling great. It's the first calm moment to myself I've had in 4+ weeks. DS is in the hospital and DH is sick and I'm sounding like the world's shittiest parent but damn, I need this time to myself SO badly. I give single parents credit, this shit is hard. And I have help.

Thanks for letting me vent. I feel like I've been doing a lot of that here lately.

[Deleted]

Zero judgment from me. Sounds like your just making the best of a really rough situation.

Sent from my DROID3 using proboards

[vegas]

Rural, that makes me feel great especially since I know you've been through a lot lately. Thank you.

[vegas]

Thanks kirkette. And you'll totally understand this, but DH told me today he's worried I'm having anxiety issues.and said he knew the only thing that would make me feel better is a good run. He offered to watch the kids while I ran a few miles. So add that to my list of selfish [but awesome] acts of the day.

[dr.girlfriend]

I don't think it's flameful, I'm so glad you're getting *some* kind of break. Hope DS is well and they find a way to make him much better.

[shell403b]

I think everybody needs a break, regardless of having help, or whatever the circumstance is, from time to time. No flames here, girl.

[vegas]

Thank you ladies. I feel like I deserve a break but I feel shitty for enjoying it so much. Watching my two year old gasp for air sucked so bad. I just hope he's ok. And I hope my DD who has been the world's easiest baby isn't a sick toddler. Not sure I can go 2 for 2.

[takeonyou]

No flames, just hugs! That sounds so stressful! I hope ds is ok and I hope you feel rejuvenated after tonight's "break."

[ellipses84]

All of those things are rough by themselves, but to have to deal with them all together is overwhelming. You deserve a break! Sitting there stressing about it all won't do anyone any good at this moment and there is nothing more you can do to take care of it, so you may as well relax and enjoy it.

[grk2012]

Enjoy that sushi and wine! You have to take care of yourself if you're going to be any sort of decent caretaker for them. I hope your DS is ok soon--we also struggle with not-quite-asthma here; my son has two inhalers every day and every cough makes me on edge. GL!

[hellonurse]

Dec 7, 2012 22:38:43 GMT -5 vegas said:

I realize I'm probably going to get the hell flamed out of me, but here goes. And yes, this is more of a MMM topic, but I'm posting here anyway. DH has been sick for 4+ weeks now. After a month of illness and helplessness he had his blood tested and it turns out he has mono. My son has been a sick kid since the day he was born. The doctors finally put him on Singulair for his cough and because it helped they diagnosed him with asthma even though it's technically too early for a formal asthma diagnosis. So for the past 4+ weeks I've been taking care of a newborn and exclusively BFing/pumping, taking care of a sick DH (including time off work for doctor's appointments) and taking care of my DS who has been sick on/off. Wednesday the school called and said DS had a fever of 102 and needed to come home. I went to get him and have stayed with him for the past few days. DH is super helpful and an awesome dad but he's been on/off work for 4 weeks so it's understandable that he needs to be at the office right now.

I have a trial starting next week so I'm stressed with work and just feeling overwhelmed. I've never had anxiety before but I'd imagine this is what it's like.

Tonight I noticed DS isn't breathing well and when DH got home I asked for his thoughts. He immediately offered to take DS to the hospital to get him checked. I said sure and agreed to stay here with DD since she BFs and all. We were iffy re: whether we were overreacting and didn't really need to rush to the ER but DH said the doctor told him we did the right thing. They are doing a chest xray now.

Here's the flameful part. I'm sitting here with my DD sleeping and my DS in the hospital with my DH who is recovering from mono. And I'm relaxed. Like drinking wine and eating sushi feeling great. It's the first calm moment to myself I've had in 4+ weeks. DS is in the hospital and DH is sick and I'm sounding like the world's shittiest parent but damn, I need this time to myself SO badly. I give single parents credit, this shit is hard. And I have help.

Thanks for letting me vent. I feel like I've been doing a lot of that here lately.

Not flameful. You need a break!

[thedutchgirl]

Not shitty at all! You need a break. Enjoy it and don't feel guilty.

[vegas]

grk....before I had kids I used to judge the hell out of parents who had kids with coughs like mine. I used to wonder why they didn't take care of their kids or medicate them. Now I'm the parent with the kid who is constantly coughing or constantly sick. Inhalers, singulair and the nebulizer are our best friends.

[mbcdefg]

You're no good to your family if you're stressed and overwhelmed. Everyone is safe and being taken care of, so take some time to recharge before you jump back in.

[grk2012]

Dec 7, 2012 23:01:24 GMT -5 vegas said:

grk....before I had kids I used to judge the hell out of parents who had kids with coughs like mine. I used to wonder why they didn't take care of their kids or medicate them. Now I'm the parent with the kid who is constantly coughing or constantly sick. Inhalers, singulair and the nebulizer are our best friends.

Yes! I'm worried somebody is going to complain that we bring him to school/church "sounding like that." Oh well.

[explorer2001]

Vegas, take care of yourself. Self care is important. You can't take care of anyone else is you are so burned out you end up sick in the hospital or anything similar. (Sadly spoken from experience) Don't feel guilty for taking a much needed and much earned minibreak. You are still taking care of your DD after all.

[Deleted]

I kept waiting for the flameful part. You sound like a perfectly good mom having a rough month. I hope things look up for your family soon!

[KaraOrNot]

Sorry you are having a tough month. Enjoy your break! I hope everything is ok w/ your little boy.

[kimibrighteyes]

You sound like an awesome mom and wife. Hope everyone is better soon

[Norticprincess]

You needed a caregiver break. If you don't recharge you lose it and the carefully built house of cards collapses.

[limey]

Oh man, you have a lot on your plate. Hope everyone feels better soon.

[heygrey]

You can't continue being an effective caregiver if you burnout. You have to take time to yourself and what better time than when no one else needs you? Nothing flame worthy at all.

[Deleted]

The only thing flame worthy is that you thought that was flame worthy meaning you might judge the hell out of me.

I'm glad you are getting a break, and I hope your H and DS feel better soon!

[ladyk]

How's your son?

And no flames, only hugs & more wasabi for your sushi!

[Deleted]

No flames from me. That sounds really hard. Hope you enjoyed your wine.

[vegas]

Dec 8, 2012 6:36:48 GMT -5 ladyk said:

How's your son?

And no flames, only hugs & more wasabi for your sushi!

Thanks everyone.

ladyk he was admitted last night with pneumonia so we'll see how he does today. DH stayed with him last night and I'm going to head over this morning. We don't want to bring the baby to the hospital so I've been here with her.

I'm hoping he gets released today.

[hannamaren]

As a health care worker, I see caregivers burning out all the time. The first thing I say to them is "when was your last break?" If the caregiver burns out, everyone loses.

[Deleted]

You are the opposite of a shitty mom!! You need to take care of you or you'll break down. You are going through so much!! Sending you hugs.

[MamaMaui24]

It's not like you could leave DD and go to the hospital. Hope you enjoyed some minutes of peace and quiet. Everyone needs a break and it sounds like you have a very supportive husband.

Hope your family gets well soon!

[ladyk]

Poor bubba. I had that almost 3 years ago & I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I hope he gets to feeling better soon.