Someone STILL has no idea what real life is! Life is going to be especially hard for you, little one.. Because you expect to be handed shit. Grow the fuck up.
Bliss, it sounds like you need to see a therapist. It seems like you are struggling with depression. 'The kinds of things that have happened in your life lately are tough and can really take the wind out of your sails, but it seems like they've done more than that to you. It seems like you're having a hard time moving beyond them. Good luck.
I have to ditto PPs. You are mistaking breezes for hurricanes. I went through what you are going through with your grandfather, but it was my own father, only he showed up on my doorstep sick as a dog and was dead in a week. Going on the internet was the last thing on my mind. You need IRL help like yesterday. I hope you find it. Shit sandwiches get served to everybody. I'm sorry you had to find out this way I guess.
Mistaking breezes for hurricanes - exactly. Bliss, I know what it's like to have your post-graduation plans crash and have to revise on the fly, and it is certainly disappointing when things always feel like an uphill battle (even if that's due to natural consequences of our own decisions, as my "battles" have been). Aside from the loss of your grandfather - which of course is sad and I'm sorry for your loss, truly - your attitude about your life just plain sucks. In another thread you called yourself a victim of circumstance. You're not a victim or a special snowflake. You're a human being living on earth and shit happens to every single one of us. What makes the difference between a whiny child who gets stuck tripping over her own feet and an adult who learns and improves herself is about your actions and attitude. As long as you see yourself as a victim and play into that idea you won't be happy no matter where you are.