We also had our first ultrasound on Thursday. There was no heartbeat, and the fetus was measuring about 2 weeks behind. The doctor was able to get me in for a D&C the same day. It was physically painless (well, I got some good drugs anyway), but emotionally it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
H and I are on the mend, taking a quiet weekend at home. We'll start trying again when we get the all clear (4-6 weeks). I might go off the grid until then...
I'm so sorry V. My husband and I got the same sad news at our first ultrasound this past summer. It sucks, and I wish I could say something that could help ease that pain.
Take care of yourself, and do whatever feels right to you. That first month of healing, I have myself permission to do whatever I wanted (buy anything, eat anything, not many chores), just to make my life a little more enjoyable. It does get much easier over time.