Do you keep gifts fair between your families?

[y4m]

We're being a little extravagant with DH's family, because they all kind of need it and we've had a good year financially. My family is fine. I can't think of things to spend more money on for them, and I feel like if I did, it would be showy.

Is it weird to spend a lot more money on one side of the family?

[joenali]

We don't exchange gifts on my mom's side. And we draw one name on my dad's side. It works great.

[SJ]

We don't keep it even.

[barney96]

we haven't always kept things even. My family spends more, so we spend more. Unless they see what each other got, I wouldnt worry about it

[KaraOrNot]

I don't think it is weird. We are more extravagant w/ my family, because they struggle w/ money and my ILs dont.

[keweenawlove]

We have the same target amount to spend for our parents and sisters. Sometimes we hit it, sometimes we don't.

[winnied]

No. H's faily is quite large so we just do a white elephant sort of thing, but nicer. We buy normal gifts for my family, which is more expensive.

[soveryexcited]

We don't keep it even for a couple of reasons. 1) I do all of the Christmas shopping and I know my own family better than DH's. 2) DH makes more money than any of my siblings and my mom hates shopping and my dad is too busy to shop so we, by default, give bigger presents to my side. 3) I like my family better. :-)

Although, in the past few years, we've given DH's family bigger presents since that side of the family makes more money so presents seem to be a bit more ''extravagant''.

[imojoebunny]

No. We are not fair. We are much closer to my family than DH's. Both live about the same distance away (5-6 hours). We spend a lot more time with my family, and they take a much bigger interest in our kids and our lives. I have gotten 3 emails in the last two years from DH's family, and 1 phone call, verses numerous visits and trips to see my family, as well as, help with the kids when we needed it, like when Dh was in the hospital, or i had to go out of town to take care of something, including from cousins who don't even have kids and live 2,000 miles away. Hard for me to muster the energy to do much for DH's family, who when they come in town, stay 3 miles away without even telling us, and don't make a plan to at least drop by for 30 minutes.

[mollz007]

Ive spent more on my family this year

[DarcyLongfellow]

Yes, we have the exact same budget for both sides. My parents probably get a bit more just because they stay with us, but our target is the same.

Both sets of parents are comfortable financially, though, and tend to spoil US at Christmas. If one set were struggling, I could see spending more on them.

[macmars45]

We spend more on less people on H's family but it's still less total because my family is freaking huge (11 adults/2 kids in my immediate family).

Not weird.

[sillygoosegirl]

We just buy whatever we can think of for each person, with basically no attempt to keep things even, consistent, or anything like that...

And yes, we are doing our Christmas shopping tonight. Thank you Amazon Prime.

[hbomdiggity]

ILs need more, but since the aren't big into giving gifts, we end up spending more on my family. And there are more people in my fam to buy for.

[flatlan]

We buy for all of my immediate family but only for the 3 kids on DH's side. We do spend the same amount per person on each side.

[Nonny]

We're not even at all. This year my family is all getting steaks (which I upgraded to also include a bunch of desserts) and my H's family is getting homemade granola. I think we're spending about 5 times the money on my family, but about 10 times the effort on his.

His family opts to do homemade gifts though, and since I'm not a butcher, they get what they get.

[gibbinator]

No, we always seem to spend more on dh's family. And they spend more on us

[ECB]

We don't keep it even.

[sporky]

We do, even though I usually feel guilty because my parents generally spend a lot more than my in-laws.

[momof2boys]

No, because we are a lot closer to my parents. We see them daily, my mom babysits my children when I work, my dad takes them on weekends for fun "grampa time." They help us whenever we need it, in every way possible. And they gift us with extravagant christmas's, specifically for our kids, so we do what we can in return.

My mother in law just creates stress, we see her a few times a year (she only lives 1/2 hour away). My husband is in charge of her gift...

[Deleted]

Mostly yes, I try and keep it fairly even. His parents usually need something - so their gifts tend to be based upon their needs. My Dad/Stepmom need nothing and want nothing - so we usually end up giving an experience or restaurant gc. My Mom/Stepdad get a gc for a local restaurant group that they like.

Value wise, my ILs are receiving the highest value gifts, but we spent the least amount of $$ on them. I used Amazon points for one gift, another was free with purchase and the third we paid out of pocket.

[spunkarella]

No, we are not fair. We spend a lot per person on DH's parents and sister, but they are the only members of his family we buy for. We spend a lot less per person on my family, but also buy for a lot more people (mostly younger cousins).

I don't exchange gifts at all with my mom and sister. We buy gifts for needy families instead. My mom and sister spend a lot on each other.

It seems a little strange, but it works for us.

[Deleted]

No. It changes year to year.

[Deleted]

We keep it mostly even bc of budgetary concerns. I do tend to spend a bit more on my family, but that is because I have certain gifts in mind for them. H is more like "I'll just buy my family whatever." I always buy his mom something nice though, but I draw blanks on the rest.

[holly116]

It all kind of works out for us, we tend to spend a lot on both sides but for different reasons - my side because they need it more and DH's because they spend a lot on us.

[Deleted]

We don't keep it even, and we don't always do gifts. We didn't get anything for the in-laws or my dad this year, but we gave my mom a blu-ray player as an early gift. Her DVD player had broken and she has been helping us out so much with the baby. If we knew of something that the in-laws or my dad really wanted, needed, or seemed like a perfect gift, we would probably get it for them if we could afford it.

[bunch]

We spend the same very small amount on every family member.

[SusanBAnthony]

Dec 20, 2012 22:44:25 GMT -5 imojoebunny said:

No. We are not fair. We are much closer to my family than DH's. Both live about the same distance away (5-6 hours). We spend a lot more time with my family, and they take a much bigger interest in our kids and our lives. I have gotten 3 emails in the last two years from DH's family, and 1 phone call, verses numerous visits and trips to see my family, as well as, help with the kids when we needed it, like when Dh was in the hospital, or i had to go out of town to take care of something, including from cousins who don't even have kids and live 2,000 miles away. Hard for me to muster the energy to do much for DH's family, who when they come in town, stay 3 miles away without even telling us, and don't make a plan to at least drop by for 30 minutes.

Ditto. We live two hours from DH's family and see them rarely (and that is mostly us coming to them). My family is a 12 hour drive but we see them more and actually like them! Plus, his family will never tell us what they want, and don't seem to appreciate what we do give them.

Eta: the exception is DH's niece, we give her a quite nice gift bc her parents are morons with money so we try to make sure she has a nicer, but also hopefully educational toy. And we provide lots of clothing stuff that they need.

[ssmjlm]

We keep it pretty much even. I splurge on my mom and sister. Mostly bc my mom does so much for us and my sister is broke so I like to spoil her a bit bc I can.

[chessie]

Yes. But we only have 4 little nieces to buy for.