Ready for flames. My broke budget

[y4m]

Jan 3, 2013 15:09:23 GMT -5 brokeae said:

thank you. is there a set time you can defer them? a year?

I believe it's 3 years, but you have to re-qualify each year.

[ESF]

Jan 3, 2013 15:08:14 GMT -5 brokeae said:

Jan 3, 2013 14:44:54 GMT -5 ESF said:

mturk,

is this an amazon site? thats what came up in a google

Yes, it's owned by amazon. i've never used it,and I think there's a lot of spam on there, but it's my understanding that occasionally decent things pop up.

re SL deferment - I think different lenders have different policies but generally I think most offer hardship deferments of up to a year maybe?

[M]

You might have a hard time getting a deferment because you have to prove that you need the deferment in one of these ways.

www.studentloanborrowerassistance.org/repayment/postponing-repayment/deferments/

Plus you only have 3 years to defer. If I were in your exact situation, I'd want to save that time for even harder times like unemployment. You're still able to make the payments it looks like so I think it's best if you got a part time job rather than defer. Not to mention, SL's (unlike CC) will never go away until paid off if you default on them.

[hlke]

Jan 3, 2013 15:02:13 GMT -5 brokeae said:

would a deferment hurt us in anyway on the SLs? we both actually have really good credit.

You should call and talk to your lender, as a lot depends on the specifics of the loan, but generally:

-There are two types of ways to delay payments - deferment and forbearance.
-Neither will hurt your credit.
-A deferment requires you to meet certain requirements governed by the loan programs. They are generally harder to get but offer more favorable terms (the interest on subsidized loans is forgiven during deferment)
-A forbearance is at the discretion of the lender, and is a temporary pause in payments. Interest continues to accrue, and can be capitalized at the end of the forbearance. My lenders generally will grant a six month forbearance for financial hardship.

Definitely get to know your options, because you may be able to use them in the future. I have used both financial hardship and unemployment deferments. Your student loan lenders do not want you to default and generally will work with you.

[minniebee]

I want to know what you're feeding your dog if you spend $25 on dog food, and not even every month. I assume you're not giving the dog heart worm preventative or flea/tick preventative either? If your dog gets heartworm or ends up with a flea infestation, that's going to cost a lot more money in the long run. Even a yearly check up with vaccines for our dog is over $100 ... I'm not sure how you're paying for that on this budget.

Honestly, if you're not willing to consider selling a car, at least one of you needs a second job. You can't snowball debt payments since you don't have any money beyond paying the minimum payments. Plus, at this rate, you're never going to get to $1000 in savings. You can cut $10 by skipping McDonalds twice a month, but that's not really a huge savings, because you still have to eat those two meals, and that means paying for groceries. There needs to be a bigger change than finding $10 here and $20 there in the budget.

If it were me, I would sell one car. I'm not working outside the home right now, and if this were going to be our long-term arrangement, I would sell one car. Sure, there would be some days where I would need to drive H to work and pick him up so I have access to a car during the day, but it could be done. You'd get money from selling the car, and save on gas and insurance. It's probably worth trying for a year.

[hippygirl]

I know someone who works doing this liveops.com from home. She gets paid per call, I think. She isn't rich but she works mostly night time hours and brings in 1k a month.

[brokeae]

we feed the dog blue buffalo or diamond. i dont really know since dh buys the stuff for her. i know she doenst eat a 40/lb a month, so she isn't a monthly expense. and she has all her shots and heartworm stuff. we get that at her annual vet appt, which the 25 would go into a pet fund for 4 months to pay for

[imojoebunny]

I think this is an income problem. Since you already have two kids and more debt than you can afford with them, At least one of you should look for a better job. I had a similar house payment making a similar amount of money when I was younger with no debt, but no kids, no spouse. It was tight, but sustainable. With kids and a spouse it would be impossible.

I would not look at a second job or taking on babysitting or wasting my time making minimum wage, I would look for an entry level job that had the potential for give me experience that would ultimately end up allowing me more money. I saw a lot of people I used to manage go the second job route, rather than apply themselves more at their job and move up. It always seemed short sighted to me. They had to leave exactly on time, when they were needed to work, couldn't come in on weekends, and as a result never got promoted.

[Deleted]

Jan 3, 2013 16:34:31 GMT -5 imojoebunny said:

I think this is an income problem. Since you already have two kids and more debt than you can afford with them, At least one of you should look for a better job. I had a similar house payment making a similar amount of money when I was younger with no debt, but no kids, no spouse. It was tight, but sustainable. With kids and a spouse it would be impossible.

I would not look at a second job or taking on babysitting or wasting my time making minimum wage, I would look for an entry level job that had the potential for give me experience that would ultimately end up allowing me more money. I saw a lot of people I used to manage go the second job route, rather than apply themselves more at their job and move up. It always seemed short sighted to me. They had to leave exactly on time, when they were needed to work, couldn't come in on weekends, and as a result never got promoted.

This is kind of a weird idea though because what is she going to do, take a paycut to get into some entry level job that has the potential to make more money in a few years? She needs more money NOW. Unless you're suggesting she try to work 2 full time professional type jobs, I don't see how this would help at all with the current situation.

[njohnson1972]

Jan 3, 2013 16:52:59 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

Jan 3, 2013 16:34:31 GMT -5 imojoebunny said:

I think this is an income problem. Since you already have two kids and more debt than you can afford with them, At least one of you should look for a better job. I had a similar house payment making a similar amount of money when I was younger with no debt, but no kids, no spouse. It was tight, but sustainable. With kids and a spouse it would be impossible.

I would not look at a second job or taking on babysitting or wasting my time making minimum wage, I would look for an entry level job that had the potential for give me experience that would ultimately end up allowing me more money. I saw a lot of people I used to manage go the second job route, rather than apply themselves more at their job and move up. It always seemed short sighted to me. They had to leave exactly on time, when they were needed to work, couldn't come in on weekends, and as a result never got promoted.

This is kind of a weird idea though because what is she going to do, take a paycut to get into some entry level job that has the potential to make more money in a few years? She needs more money NOW. Unless you're suggesting she try to work 2 full time professional type jobs, I don't see how this would help at all with the current situation.

Not her, but her DH could stand to focus on a better job. She said that she makes twice what he makes. That means of the $49,000 they are netting per year, he is only making $16,000 of it and she is making $32,000.

[Doggy Mommy]

I would absolutely sell the car. That is the biggest thing we did when DH was laid off, and it made a HUGE difference. His payment was high and we also saved on the insurance. We have lived with one car for a couple years and honestly it has been just fine. He now works from home and we are sticking with one car for now. If you want/need the car one day, then you drive him to work and pick him up. If you don't need the car, then he takes the car and takes care of the daycare drop off and pick up.

Other than that, I'd cut down the medical payments if you can, defer the student loans, help your husband find a job that pays more and/or a second job, and start the debt snowball.

[pugz]

someone needs a weekend job. My neighbors are broke and in addition to his FT job he works weekends at Target stocking shelves. Hours are early morning to early afternoon so he still gets some time with the kids.

[krystee]

I didn't read all replies; has delivering newspapers been mentioned as an option? That is done in very early mornings so your H could do that and still work FT and not have to worry about leaving early/exactly on time, as one pp mentioned. It can net around $500/month, I think. He'd have to go to bed really early, but you could at least have dinners together, which wouldn't be happening if he got a second job in the evenings.

[niq]

What's the KBB value on the car? Could you sell it, pay off the car loan, and still have enough to buy something used in okay shape? Even if you just break even that would help with cash flow.

I think the PPs have found the low hanging fruit: cable/phone bills, daycare if you can manage it, take on a renter if you have space, find a second job...

My sister and her H rent a room through airbnb, mostly extremely short term rentals. that might be a nice option if you want to try it to see if it will work at all.

Via mobile doohickey

[SusanBAnthony]

I have been thinking about this all day.

Honestly your income is reasonable. It is just the debt. But in order to get the debt gone, and save up a big efund afterwards so it doesn't happen again, you still need more income

Have you read Dave Ramsey's book? I disagree with the order he advises paying off credit card debt, but overall, his approach might work. It focuses a lot on being super intense to get out of debt, which with two young kids and a very tight budget, you probably need. Check it out at the library though

I think picking up babysitting is a great idea, as is reducing your cable, child care, phone, etc expenses. You are kind of going to have to do a little of everything to make a difference, since there isn't any one category that is out of control. When DH worked downtown for awhile, and took the bus, we did sell our second car and we did ok for a couple years. O the off days we had to have a second car, he rented one for the day, and it worked it way cheaper. We lived about a mile from an enterprise which made it fairly convenient.

But yah. Still, I think someone needs a second job.

[Deleted]

Jan 3, 2013 16:58:47 GMT -5 njohnson1972 said:

Jan 3, 2013 16:52:59 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

This is kind of a weird idea though because what is she going to do, take a paycut to get into some entry level job that has the potential to make more money in a few years? She needs more money NOW. Unless you're suggesting she try to work 2 full time professional type jobs, I don't see how this would help at all with the current situation.

Not her, but her DH could stand to focus on a better job. She said that she makes twice what he makes. That means of the $49,000 they are netting per year, he is only making $16,000 of it and she is making $32,000.

Sure, but she said he carries the insurance. I agree he could use a better job, absolutely, but taking a new entry level job is probably not the answer right now. If he's carrying insurance and pays taxes and nets 16k, he could be making 25-30k a year. Sadly, an entry level in many fields is going to pay $10-12 an hour (if that) and then he'd have to work his way up. He needs a promotion or better job (they both do, I think) but suggesting taking a step back in hopes of future increases in income doesn't compute right now. They won't be able to make ends meet on less than their current income. They're barely doing that now.

[hlke]

So adding up just the cost cutting that's been suggested:

Two virgin mobile flip phones with the 1500 minute plan $60 = $60/month savings
Drop cable and home phone, get just Internet and Skype or Google Talk for work $60 = $75/month savings
Changing schedules to save on daycare =??/month savings
Going down to one car = $276/month savings

I like the Airbnb idea too.

I'm still concerned you won't be able to live this budget. Are you breastfeeding and cloth diapering? I don't see formula or diapers on the budget. I don't see gifts, haircuts, toiletries and household goods. $300 groceries for a family of 4 is really low if you are including these things.

Obviously the debt is a big problem, but the first step is living within your means.

[brokeae]

UPDATE: I have been thinking about all these suggestions since yesterday. I wanted to update and say i am going to get rid of the cable/phone/internet package and get a cheaper internet only service. We are going to downsize the cell phones totally. I am looking for jobs within walking distance for nights and weekends.

To the PP - we do cloth diaper and I BF. We also cut our hair ourselves. We don't use paper products with the exception of DH who refuses to use family cloth, so we have to buy a few rolls of TP every now and then. I don't use shampoo and DH gets a huge salon bottle for christmas every year from his aunt that is a hairdresser.

But everyone is right about planning for things like the kids b-days and such. So i know we need more income.

Again, we did have a come to jesus talk about how we need to save to pay for the things we want - furniture, tools, etc - instead of just putting them on the card b/c we can. We wouldnt have agreed to do DR if we didn't know there was a problem.

So I want to thank everyone for all the suggestions. It made yesterdays seem a little less bleak. I hope I can update in 18 months or so and say we are debt free. Thanks again everyone!

ETA: This is the first time we have ever had a budget, so i think seeing all the money on paper really helped us see where we were going broke in the past and now that we are aware of how we spend, we are working on making better choices.

[soozy87]

Jan 4, 2013 10:32:41 GMT -5 brokeae said:

UPDATE: I have been thinking about all these suggestions since yesterday. I wanted to update and say i am going to get rid of the cable/phone/internet package and get a cheaper internet only service. We are going to downsize the cell phones totally. I am looking for jobs within walking distance for nights and weekends.

To the PP - we do cloth diaper and I BF. We also cut our hair ourselves. We don't use paper products with the exception of DH who refuses to use family cloth, so we have to buy a few rolls of TP every now and then. I don't use shampoo and DH gets a huge salon bottle for christmas every year from his aunt that is a hairdresser.

But everyone is right about planning for things like the kids b-days and such. So i know we need more income.

Again, we did have a come to jesus talk about how we need to save to pay for the things we want - furniture, tools, etc - instead of just putting them on the card b/c we can. We wouldnt have agreed to do DR if we didn't know there was a problem.

So I want to thank everyone for all the suggestions. It made yesterdays seem a little less bleak. I hope I can update in 18 months or so and say we are debt free. Thanks again everyone!

ETA: This is the first time we have ever had a budget, so i think seeing all the money on paper really helped us see where we were going broke in the past and now that we are aware of how we spend, we are working on making better choices.

Oh, no.... family cloth =/= worth it!

[SusanBAnthony]

Whatevs, we did family cloth while we were cloth diapering. You are already washing loads of shit, what is a little more? I love me some cloth menstrual pads too.

Dirty Hippie, checking in!

[theintended]

If you're just getting the hang of budgeting, I recommend Mint.com. Entering your accounts might help you paint a clearer picture of where you've been spending your money and give you a quicker way to check that you're staying on track going forward.

[hlke]

Jan 4, 2013 10:32:41 GMT -5 brokeae said:

UPDATE: I have been thinking about all these suggestions since yesterday. I wanted to update and say i am going to get rid of the cable/phone/internet package and get a cheaper internet only service. We are going to downsize the cell phones totally. I am looking for jobs within walking distance for nights and weekends.

To the PP - we do cloth diaper and I BF. We also cut our hair ourselves. We don't use paper products with the exception of DH who refuses to use family cloth, so we have to buy a few rolls of TP every now and then. I don't use shampoo and DH gets a huge salon bottle for christmas every year from his aunt that is a hairdresser.

But everyone is right about planning for things like the kids b-days and such. So i know we need more income.

Again, we did have a come to jesus talk about how we need to save to pay for the things we want - furniture, tools, etc - instead of just putting them on the card b/c we can. We wouldnt have agreed to do DR if we didn't know there was a problem.

So I want to thank everyone for all the suggestions. It made yesterdays seem a little less bleak. I hope I can update in 18 months or so and say we are debt free. Thanks again everyone!

ETA: This is the first time we have ever had a budget, so i think seeing all the money on paper really helped us see where we were going broke in the past and now that we are aware of how we spend, we are working on making better choices.

Wow, I'm really impressed with some of your frugal steps to make things work. I think your head really is in the right place and you're taking the first step. It's not a breeze, but I think you can do it.

[OG Jo]

What about the suggestion of going down to 1 car? I didn't see the OP addressing this...?

[AAM2012]

....did I misread...you don't use shampoo? like ever?

[SusanBAnthony]

Jan 4, 2013 19:06:23 GMT -5 AAM2012 said:

....did I misread...you don't use shampoo? like ever?

Some super dry hair types don't need it. But you would usually use something else instead- conditioner only, for example. I don't know how you could use nothing. Dreds? How do you even spell that?

[marylou]

Maybe she uses apple cider vinegar and/or baking soda, which would come out of her grocery budget.

[bazealina]

Don't believe the no shampoo thing for a second..
DH and I had your same in income for a year while he was unemployed. You consumer debt is your problem. We were able to survive without touching our savings for one year. We made changes sure. Cut our cell phones, didn't eat out, got rid of cable, no gifts ( i mean really your kids would have been happy with a hand me down toy from someone else, or a couple packs of paper and crayons)..We didn't save that year except for my 401k deferrals.
I am not trying to make you feel bad..just to let you know what that it is possible.
Your lifestyle needs to change pronto.
Another suggestion, you stated that you live in a neighborhood with kids. Since you and DH are not going to be going out. Why not offer to be the neighborhood baby sitters at your house for your neighbors date nights? $7-10/hour tax free and your kid would have a blast. She/he wouldn't even notice that you were not "going out". You and DH can spend time with your kids and each other.

[aurora]

Jan 4, 2013 20:25:23 GMT -5 @bazealina said:

Don't believe the no shampoo thing for a second..
...

Why not? Sure, it's unusual but lots of people are reducing their shampoo usage. Have you heard of the "no-poo" movement? (OK, so it's not really a movement, but...)

I have cut back to only using shampoo twice per week and am working to cut back further, and I know people who do less.

[Deleted]

Jan 4, 2013 22:03:48 GMT -5 aurora said:

Jan 4, 2013 20:25:23 GMT -5 @bazealina said:

Don't believe the no shampoo thing for a second..
...

Why not? Sure, it's unusual but lots of people are reducing their shampoo usage. Have you heard of the "no-poo" movement? (OK, so it's not really a movement, but...)

I have cut back to only using shampoo twice per week and am working to cut back further, and I know people who do less.

I haven't shampooed my hair in over 2 years. It's fine (attaching a pic to show it's not gross and I don't have a more unusual hairstyle like dreads). I wash with Suave Naturals conditioner ($1.79 or so for the "family size" bottle). I use other products too but I certainly could get away with less if budget depended on it.

OP, I agree with the other posts that you could save big if you became a one vehicle family. We have done it a couple of times and it's worked out--it's a little less convenient but convenience is a luxury. Other than that I think you are hitting the important things. I would strongly encourage you and your DH to put out some feelers to see if there is anything higher-paying out there or with better benefits in your line of work. It does not hurt to ask.

[mollz007]

Jan 4, 2013 19:06:23 GMT -5 AAM2012 said:

....did I misread...you don't use shampoo? like ever?

When we are out of shampoo, my H uses bodywash to wash his hair. That's what my ILs do too. I dont do it.