Most ridic thing you've overheard at work lately?

[catbus]

Mine:
The guy in the office next to mine--who happens to be an exec.--just called one of our IT guys (on speakerphone, per the usual) to say his computer's running slowly. IT guy offers to come look; exec. says "No, that's OK." IT guy tries to troubleshoot over the phone, but gets confusing answers like "maybe" in response to questions like "Are you running Excel?" IT guy again offers to come look, and is again turned down. Exec. says never mind, that he's "just venting." IT guy tries to end the phone call, and exec. says, "But can't you do anything about it?" IT guy offers again to come look, or says exec. can send a request to help desk. Exec. says never mind again, and hangs up the phone.

I'm dying here.

[mbcdefg]

Translation: "My porn is loading slowly."

[catbus]

Jan 24, 2013 14:08:19 GMT -5 mbcdefg said:

Translation: "My porn is loading slowly."

That definitely occurred to me. LOL.

[chessie]

Jan 24, 2013 14:11:03 GMT -5 catbus said:

Jan 24, 2013 14:08:19 GMT -5 mbcdefg said:

Translation: "My porn is loading slowly."

That definitely occurred to me. LOL.

You be surprised how many people just come out and say it..or say "i tried to access certain kinds of sites and the block was coming up, can you unblock certain categories for me? Its for work obviously, need to check on my stats.." 

Sure thing, your boss approves of all mature content I will allow that.   Apparently all the Marketing department needs to see playboy.com for "work purposes".

[lahoagie]

One of our employees who has been with the group over five years had joined a new group so we set up a send off lunch at a restaurant that serves dim sum. The invite said going away part for employee x at dim sum restuarant. One of my co-workers came over and asked "who is dim sum?" I told her that it is a type of food and she kept going but "who is dim sum?" I hear her walk over to one of my other co-workers and ask them "who is dim sum?" and they again explained that it is a type of food. She finally goes "but why is he leaving our group?" Oh boy!

[mbcdefg]

I work near a couple young 20-something girls. They were talking about sports and one of them mentioned Lou Gehrig, and the other said, "Oh! Wasn't he that diving board AIDS guy?"

[phunluvin82]

Jan 24, 2013 14:08:19 GMT -5 mbcdefg said:

Translation: "My porn is loading slowly."

LMAO. 

I can't think of one...but I overhear a LOT of ridiculousness from students on campus.  I'll check back in if I think of a good one...

[phunluvin82]

Jan 24, 2013 14:21:36 GMT -5 mbcdefg said:

I work near a couple young 20-something girls. They were talking about sports and one of them mentioned Lou Gehrig, and the other said, "Oh! Wasn't he that diving board AIDS guy?"

OMG...I am dying over here!

[catbus]

Jan 24, 2013 14:21:36 GMT -5 mbcdefg said:

I work near a couple young 20-something girls. They were talking about sports and one of them mentioned Lou Gehrig, and the other said, "Oh! Wasn't he that diving board AIDS guy?"

Ugh.

I was recently in a boutique staffed by a couple very young (probably 19 at most) women. Madonna's "Into the Groove" came on, and one actually said, "Ick, who is this? I can't stand some of the music coming out lately."

I'm not a Madonna fan, but come on.

[mbcdefg]

One of my favorites was from college. I worked on campus and frequently went to a little diner next door to buy takeout breakfast in the morning. The waitresses were all women in their 60s, and one in particular was very sassy and smartassey (but very nice).

One day I went to get my breakfast and there was a little old woman there eating and she had to be at least in her 80s:

Sassy waitress: So what do you want to eat today, an egg sandwich?
Old woman (looking at menu): You know what? I want something I haven't had in a really long time.
Sassy waitress: Sex?

[pinkdutchtulips]

save your money .. go to law school online

[hamster]

Summary: I want to be a better person, so when you catch me acting like a douche bag, you have permission to call me out on it. But I'm fragile, so I need a code word. Please say "Orange Peel."

[Deleted]

This didn't happen to me, but DH yesterday.
He was training a new hire to his department (par for the course these days).
The guy is in his early 60s, DH is in his mid-30s, and it is obvious he is married b/c there are pictures of us all over his cube.
They got talking about where they live, b/c a lot of people DH works with live in another state (PA, office is NJ where we live). The guy asked DH "Do you live at home, with your parents?" and DH said "No, I've got my own house. It has a mailbox and everything"

[cilantro]

BigLaw partners talking last week in front of me about how embarrassed they are to be seen with their work issued bberries. I know V posted something on here about that a while ago...totally happened right before my eyes.

[mbcdefg]

Jan 24, 2013 14:49:01 GMT -5 @mrsspunky said:

This didn't happen to me, but DH yesterday.
He was training a new hire to his department (par for the course these days).
The guy is in his early 60s, DH is in his mid-30s, and it is obvious he is married b/c there are pictures of us all over his cube.
They got talking about where they live, b/c a lot of people DH works with live in another state (PA, office is NJ where we live). The guy asked DH "Do you live at home, with your parents?" and DH said "No, I've got my own house. It has a mailbox and everything"

OMG, the mailbox comment would've made me lose it

When I started at this job I told the HR person that I'm already covered for health insurance, and she kept going on and on about it being my mom's insurance, until I couldn't help myself and said, "No, I've got a husband." And I've had a lot of people at this job and previous jobs ask me how I like working my first job out of college. (I'm 29.)

[Deleted]

Jan 24, 2013 14:54:10 GMT -5 mbcdefg said:

Jan 24, 2013 14:49:01 GMT -5 @mrsspunky said:

This didn't happen to me, but DH yesterday.
He was training a new hire to his department (par for the course these days).
The guy is in his early 60s, DH is in his mid-30s, and it is obvious he is married b/c there are pictures of us all over his cube.
They got talking about where they live, b/c a lot of people DH works with live in another state (PA, office is NJ where we live). The guy asked DH "Do you live at home, with your parents?" and DH said "No, I've got my own house. It has a mailbox and everything"

OMG, the mailbox comment would've made me lose it

Apparently it was a play on some line from a baseball movie? Something about a team having real uniforms with numbers and everything... I have no idea.

[Deleted]

Jan 24, 2013 14:50:09 GMT -5 cilantro said:

BigLaw partners talking last week in front of me about how embarrassed they are to be seen with their work issued bberries. I know V posted something on here about that a while ago...totally happened right before my eyes.

I'm impressed that your partners are hip enough to realize that Blackberries are not an indication of coolness!

[catbus]

OMG. Same guy (exec.) just asked someone where area code 866 is from. I can't make this shit up.

[vegas]

Yesterday I was in my office getting ready to pump when our temp walked in. My door was closed and the shade was down but that didn't stop her. I was literally topless so I turned towards the window and said I was pumping and I'd be right out. Apparently she didn't know what pumping was and I must have looked like I was in distress trying to cover up while facing the window and juggling all of the pump parts so she came over really close and stood behind me like she was going to offer assistance. I kept facing away from her and said again "I'm pumping, you know, for my baby who is breastfeeding". She finally left. It was super awkward.

About 5 minutes later a coworker was walking past my door to get to his office(he wasn't going to come in, he knew better) and I heard her yell "don't bother Vegas, she's primping."

[ijack]

Vegas - I'm dead. OMG.

[agnes]

Jan 24, 2013 14:33:23 GMT -5 letsgetweird said:

Ugh hit submit too soon and I can't edit on the app. My new CWer announced he will not bring a gun to work and kill us! Yay!

I just wanted to say that I love your avatar.

[catbus]

Jan 24, 2013 16:46:04 GMT -5 vegas said:

Yesterday I was in my office getting ready to pump when our temp walked in. My door was closed and the shade was down but that didn't stop her. I was literally topless so I turned towards the window and said I was pumping and I'd be right out. Apparently she didn't know what pumping was and I must have looked like I was in distress trying to cover up while facing the window and juggling all of the pump parts so she came over really close and stood behind me like she was going to offer assistance. I kept facing away from her and said again "I'm pumping, you know, for my baby who is breastfeeding". She finally left. It was super awkward.

About 5 minutes later a coworker was walking past my door to get to his office(he wasn't going to come in, he knew better) and I heard her yell "don't bother Vegas, she's primping."

OMG.

So another incident involving exec.-next-door: He and the guy directly under him in the next office down were apparently discussing the fact that I close my door twice a day (to pump, but they don't know this). They came to the conclusion that it must be because they're so loud (well, they are). This was all in an unrelated meeting with another coworker with whom I'm friends. She told me about it, but of course didn't tell them the actual reason I close my door, just that "That's not why..." Ha.

[Deleted]

I actually overheard this just now...

Big Boss (a bible humping dipshit) walked into the office of a coworker who is getting divorced and told her: "I've been praying about your situation and think your should give your husband another chance. I believe this situation is god's way of testing you."

Coworker's e husband was a financial planner/ accountant who stole money from his clients to cover his gambling losses. He lost their house, and will be arrested by the FBI sometime in the next week.

Co worker is a female attorney. We work for a public organization. You can't say shit like that to your subordinates!

[Deleted]

I actually overheard this just now...

Big Boss (a bible humping dipshit) walked into the office of a coworker who is getting divorced and told her: "I've been praying about your situation and think your should give your husband another chance. I believe this situation is god's way of testing you."

Coworker's e husband was a financial planner/ accountant who stole money from his clients to cover his gambling losses. He lost their house, and will be arrested by the FBI sometime in the next week.

Co worker is a female attorney. We work for a public organization. You can't say shit like that to your subordinates!

[Deleted]

I actually overheard this just now...

Big Boss (a bible humping dipshit) walked into the office of a coworker who is getting divorced and told her: "I've been praying about your situation and think your should give your husband another chance. I believe this situation is god's way of testing you."

Coworker's e husband was a financial planner/ accountant who stole money from his clients to cover his gambling losses. He lost their house, and will be arrested by the FBI sometime in the next week.

Co worker is a female attorney. We work for a public organization. You can't say shit like that to your subordinates!

[rubytue]

Not lately, but I still laugh at this one. Guy across the hall came to ask me how to "print into the sharepoint." If you don't know sharepoint, its an online collaboration tool. He wanted to upload his word document.

[sweetnsour]

Jan 24, 2013 18:46:23 GMT -5 rubytue said:

Not lately, but I still laugh at this one. Guy across the hall came to ask me how to "print into the sharepoint." If you don't know sharepoint, its an online collaboration tool. He wanted to upload his word document.

This is hilarious!

[bronxgirl]

I run the internship program in my department. One of our interns recently finished so I read over her evaluation of the internship. Overall she had positive things to say, but she thought it was really unfair that we expected her to come in on time and that we expected her to follow a schedule and not just come in when she wants. She was also upaset about her final evaluation score. She thought she should have been rated better, but could not offer a single example or reason why. She just wanted higher scores. This is someone who we weren't even sure was going to pass when she first started.

[sugarbear]

Last week, a parent was volunteering in my classroom and asked me where the St. Louis Arch is.

[aspentosh]

Some of these are amazing. Poor Vegas I am so glad we have a pumping room with a lock.