confessions of a formula feeder

[bebeetmoi]

Mar 13, 2013 9:08:32 GMT -5 dixeedeluxe said:

Picture caption was also "Drinkin Buddies". Kid's middle name is Haze.

Oh dear lord.

[dixeedeluxe]

Mar 13, 2013 10:40:39 GMT -5 lauranicole91 said:

Mar 13, 2013 10:23:05 GMT -5 dixeedeluxe said:

Wait, BP* doesn't count as "out loud", right?!  I mean, this confession was an internal thought that I was working through right here on the board.  Was that not the message that was received with my OP?  It's hard to tell, obvs.

*I meant PB, meaning ProBoard.

I think PB is a special thoughtflake. It's not o"ut loud" but it isn't exactly keeping it to yourself either. I don't have an issue with your confession. Everyone is allowed to feel the way they feel, just as everyone is allowed to feed their baby whatever way they like.

I think I should not have felt the way I felt!  Does that even make sense?  I mean, obviously no, but it surprised ME that it was my gut reaction. 

[lauranicole91]

Mar 13, 2013 10:43:43 GMT -5 dixeedeluxe said:

Mar 13, 2013 10:40:39 GMT -5 lauranicole91 said:

I think PB is a special thoughtflake. It's not o"ut loud" but it isn't exactly keeping it to yourself either. I don't have an issue with your confession. Everyone is allowed to feel the way they feel, just as everyone is allowed to feed their baby whatever way they like.

I think I should not have felt the way I felt!  Does that even make sense?  I mean, obviously no, but it surprised ME that it was my gut reaction. 

Must be all those formula can labels saying breast is best. It's ingrained in your head to be a initial reaction.

Sometimes our initial reaction isn't rational.

[laurack]

My mom never breastfed any of the seven of us, she seems horrified at the very idea of it, a baby sucking on her boob! When I ask her about it she almost shudders and says "oh that wouldn't be for me at all!". Though she is a very loving mother and very supportive of my own breastfeeding. It's just not something she was interested in. And that was fine, most people weren't into it either.

Now (at least in the US) it seems you aren't even allowed to decide it isn't for you. Let the judgement rain upon you! Definitely cultural shifts have a lot to do with it.

I too would worry sometimes in public that someone would think the bottle of BM i gave her is formula. but I could not explain why I worry about this. I have no issue with formula, myself and my 6 siblings had formula and we were very healthy and happy children.

[dixeedeluxe]

Mar 13, 2013 10:45:26 GMT -5 lauranicole91 said:

Mar 13, 2013 10:43:43 GMT -5 dixeedeluxe said:

I think I should not have felt the way I felt!  Does that even make sense?  I mean, obviously no, but it surprised ME that it was my gut reaction. 

Must be all those formula can labels saying breast is best. It's ingrained in your head to be a initial reaction.

Sometimes our initial reaction isn't rational.

HAHAHA, it's the formula companies fault i am judging formula feeding mothers! 

[Deleted]

Mar 13, 2013 9:17:36 GMT -5 dixeedeluxe said:

OK, guys. I promise this isn't being judgy, but since I went through it (and researched it SO MUCH) I feel like I can't not talk about it.

Unless your baby's glucose levels are severely low (like katfco's experience), your baby probably does not need to "eat" in the hospital at all. Those occasions are pretty rare from what I hear. So milk not being in and latch problems are not really...problems...if they stand alone.

This is where I kind of side with the BF army because this was never ever communicated to me in the hospital when Edie was born (I have inverted nipples so she couldn't latch). They just wanted me to give her formula. Since I was armed with knowledge, I knew they could check her glucose to see if she was OK. Hourly glucose tests (which are heartbreaking) revealed she was just fine.

I know what you're saying. I was 100% SURE I was going to breastfeed- not a doubt in my mind. I breastfed in the hospital and they said he was doing great! But I only stayed 24 hours. By day 2 I took him to the Dr, he had jaundice and was down to 6.1. Born at 6.15. He immediately said I needed to give formula. I believe that he did in fact need a few oz's since he lost I think 12% of his weight, but I was really discouraged and felt like I must not have enough milk. (Which I didn't then, but I kelp trying and it progressed over the next month. I still never had a lot, but a lot more than I had in the beginning and it took awhile.) I don't think those problems are very common, either, and I don't really believe that someone truly has low supply issues unless they keep at it for a month or two to see if it's build-able at all. BUT, I know how hard it is to deal with not having enough in the beginning, and wouldn't judge someone for going to formula all the way.

[lauranicole91]

Mar 13, 2013 10:47:07 GMT -5 dixeedeluxe said:

Mar 13, 2013 10:45:26 GMT -5 lauranicole91 said:

Must be all those formula can labels saying breast is best. It's ingrained in your head to be a initial reaction.

Sometimes our initial reaction isn't rational.

HAHAHA, it's the formula companies fault i am judging formula feeding mothers! 

Haha. That's obviously the case here.

[laurack]

I too get what you were saying dixee.

[dixeedeluxe]

Maybe I was secretly jealous that the dad, in this case, could take over some (or all) of the feeding responsiblity. So the nursing mom part of my defense mechanism kicked in at the initial sight of the photo of J. Haze's father being his "drinkin buddy".

Seriously, his parents are cool people. Really amazing and totally loving and so excited.

Brains...they make no sense.

[bebeetmoi]

Mar 13, 2013 10:01:09 GMT -5 TrudyCampbell said:

Mar 13, 2013 9:17:08 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

My confession is that I have a complex about FF because I feel like people think/will think I'm low class for doing it. It's probably because somewhere in my mind, *I* think it's a low class thing to do.

This is so interesting because my grandmother who was born in the 1930's always said BFing was considered low class and FF meant you had enough money to buy the fancy formula. 

That's definitely the way it used to be. That was also a long time ago before they realized how much better the breast remained for the baby, despite all the effort they put in and continue to put into formula. Breastfeeding became an enigma. This is the way my ILs look at breastfeeding. Of 9 grandchildren, DD is the first to be BF. My MIL never even attempted to- it wasn't "popular" to give your child the breast.
But now it is very different. The associations with women who BF now is that those moms are educated, and the women who chose to give their child formula, are not. Which judging by @tabcat law degree, is most certainly not the case.

[bebeetmoi]

@tambcat I meant. Won't allow me to freaking edit.

[musiclover]

I'm not upset with Dixee, just annoyed in general over all of the FF judging, there is just no need for it. I guess the numerous BF threads on here everyday don't help either, in the sense that it makes me feel in the minority here. I get that Dixee is not sure why she feels that way though.

[katfco]

Mar 13, 2013 10:47:07 GMT -5 dixeedeluxe said:

Mar 13, 2013 10:45:26 GMT -5 lauranicole91 said:

Must be all those formula can labels saying breast is best. It's ingrained in your head to be a initial reaction.

Sometimes our initial reaction isn't rational.

HAHAHA, it's the formula companies fault i am judging formula feeding mothers! 

I blame everyone: formula companies, La Leche League, you name it. They all have a stake in it and have given moms so many absolutes that no matter what we do or what we say, someone out there will judge us.
"Breast is best"
"formula is just as good"
"no it's not"
"well then formula is an adequate substitute, but don't feel bad for not giving your baby the best"
"but you should breastfeed if you can"
"but it's okay to choose not to"
"but if you choose not to, it had better be because you didn't have a choice, otherwise your choice is based on your ignorance, you pitiful twit."

I'm tired of it. Anyone who wants to judge me had better have the guts to say it to my face (and no, dixee, I'm not referring to you; more the ones "out there").

[lauranicole91]

Mar 13, 2013 10:47:09 GMT -5 jnoellee said:

Mar 13, 2013 9:17:36 GMT -5 dixeedeluxe said:

OK, guys. I promise this isn't being judgy, but since I went through it (and researched it SO MUCH) I feel like I can't not talk about it.

Unless your baby's glucose levels are severely low (like katfco's experience), your baby probably does not need to "eat" in the hospital at all. Those occasions are pretty rare from what I hear. So milk not being in and latch problems are not really...problems...if they stand alone.

This is where I kind of side with the BF army because this was never ever communicated to me in the hospital when Edie was born (I have inverted nipples so she couldn't latch). They just wanted me to give her formula. Since I was armed with knowledge, I knew they could check her glucose to see if she was OK. Hourly glucose tests (which are heartbreaking) revealed she was just fine.

I know what you're saying. I was 100% SURE I was going to breastfeed- not a doubt in my mind. I breastfed in the hospital and they said he was doing great! But I only stayed 24 hours. By day 2 I took him to the Dr, he had jaundice and was down to 6.1. Born at 6.15. He immediately said I needed to give formula. I believe that he did in fact need a few oz's since he lost I think 12% of his weight, but I was really discouraged and felt like I must not have enough milk. (Which I didn't then, but I kelp trying and it progressed over the next month. I still never had a lot, but a lot more than I had in the beginning and it took awhile.) I don't think those problems are very common, either, and I don't really believe that someone truly has low supply issues unless they keep at it for a month or two to see if it's build-able at all. BUT, I know how hard it is to deal with not having enough in the beginning, and wouldn't judge someone for going to formula all the way.

Pey was 6.15 at birth and 6.1 by day 3 when she was hospitalized for jaundice. We were there with her for 2 days. No one ever mentioned formula but they did try to make me pump vs nurse. I was still terrified of nipple confusion so I made nursing work, even with her being on the light bed for 15hours straight.

[Deleted]

Mar 13, 2013 11:00:54 GMT -5 lauranicole91 said:

Mar 13, 2013 10:47:09 GMT -5 jnoellee said:

I know what you're saying. I was 100% SURE I was going to breastfeed- not a doubt in my mind. I breastfed in the hospital and they said he was doing great! But I only stayed 24 hours. By day 2 I took him to the Dr, he had jaundice and was down to 6.1. Born at 6.15. He immediately said I needed to give formula. I believe that he did in fact need a few oz's since he lost I think 12% of his weight, but I was really discouraged and felt like I must not have enough milk. (Which I didn't then, but I kelp trying and it progressed over the next month. I still never had a lot, but a lot more than I had in the beginning and it took awhile.) I don't think those problems are very common, either, and I don't really believe that someone truly has low supply issues unless they keep at it for a month or two to see if it's build-able at all. BUT, I know how hard it is to deal with not having enough in the beginning, and wouldn't judge someone for going to formula all the way.

Pey was 6.15 at birth and 6.1 by day 3 when she was hospitalized for jaundice. We were there with her for 2 days. No one ever mentioned formula but they did try to make me pump vs nurse. I was still terrified of nipple confusion so I made nursing work, even with her being on the light bed for 15hours straight.

Maybe it was different because he was that weight by day 2 not 3? It would have gotten lower than that by day 3? They also didn't make me stay and use the lights. I was discharged from the hospital after 24 hours. I had been pumping at home but couldn't even fill the bottom with more than a few drips.

[lauranicole91]

Mar 13, 2013 11:09:48 GMT -5 jnoellee said:

Mar 13, 2013 11:00:54 GMT -5 lauranicole91 said:

Pey was 6.15 at birth and 6.1 by day 3 when she was hospitalized for jaundice. We were there with her for 2 days. No one ever mentioned formula but they did try to make me pump vs nurse. I was still terrified of nipple confusion so I made nursing work, even with her being on the light bed for 15hours straight.

Maybe it was different because he was that weight by day 2 not 3? It would have gotten lower than that by day 3? They also didn't make me stay and use the lights. I was discharged from the hospital after 24 hours. I had been pumping at home but couldn't even fill the bottom with more than a few drips.

Maybe, who knows. He's fine now obviously!

[Deleted]

Mar 13, 2013 11:09:48 GMT -5 jnoellee said:

Mar 13, 2013 11:00:54 GMT -5 lauranicole91 said:

Pey was 6.15 at birth and 6.1 by day 3 when she was hospitalized for jaundice. We were there with her for 2 days. No one ever mentioned formula but they did try to make me pump vs nurse. I was still terrified of nipple confusion so I made nursing work, even with her being on the light bed for 15hours straight.

Maybe it was different because he was that weight by day 2 not 3? It would have gotten lower than that by day 3? They also didn't make me stay and use the lights. I was discharged from the hospital after 24 hours. I had been pumping at home but couldn't even fill the bottom with more than a few drips.

I too was scared of nipple confusion but luckily Elias did not have that problem! I still nursed for 2.5-3 months, but also had to use formula. I really did, Trudy! Not because I hated breastfeeding!
I still think using the formula at all screwed more with my supply, as I tried to make sure I was nursing first, then giving a bottle, then pumping, but I couldn't keep up with all three, too many things to juggle and eventually my boobs lost the little amount I had worked it up to have. I also blame my boob-job and 3 day long induction, but who really knows. Okay done with my excuses now!

[Deleted]

Mar 13, 2013 11:14:33 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

Mar 13, 2013 11:09:48 GMT -5 jnoellee said:

Maybe it was different because he was that weight by day 2 not 3? It would have gotten lower than that by day 3? They also didn't make me stay and use the lights. I was discharged from the hospital after 24 hours. I had been pumping at home but couldn't even fill the bottom with more than a few drips.

I'm sure it varies by doctor and hospital.

Yeah, every place does things differently. I was surprised they mentioned formula cause they are a super pro-breastfeeding hospital with signs everywhere telling you breast is best! They don't even give you pacifiers after they are born because you "shouldnt use them for at least 3 weeks". Eh

[joyhart02]

I have a friend who formula fed both her sons from the start. She is the Vice President at a pharmaceutical company for health and nutrition. Whatever. The only thing that bugs me is she made it seem like she was too good to bf. That bf was bad and she would have no part of it.

When I see her she comments "omg, you are still bf? You need to stop that soon." Um ok.

I have nothing against ff. dd1 was ff from 10-12 months. Dd2 had 2 formula bottles in the hospital so I could get a break.

I say all this too because I never had any real complications with bf, besides all the normal baby eating all the time, don't know wtf I am doing and so forth.

Dixee in a way I know what you are saying too.

[dixeedeluxe]

Mar 13, 2013 11:22:00 GMT -5 jnoellee said:

Mar 13, 2013 11:14:33 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

I'm sure it varies by doctor and hospital.

Yeah, every place does things differently. I was surprised they mentioned formula cause they are a super pro-breastfeeding hospital with signs everywhere telling you breast is best! They don't even give you pacifiers after they are born because you "shouldnt use them for at least 3 weeks". Eh

What ticks me off about hospital policies like this is that they are so hard to change.  I know this isn't a reputable source, and I haven't read the study, but I am pretty confident that the nipple confusion link has been debunked by studies when it comes to pacifiers.  And, this says that it actually ENCOURAGES BFing.  Which, logically, makes sense.  "My baby won't stop crying and I have the baby blues and I can't give him a binky, so scew it, I give up because this is too hard". 
Anyway, even though it's been disproven, there's so much red tape to go through to change policies!

www.today.com/moms/no-more-nipple-confusion-study-says-pacifiers-may-help-breast-743227

[dixeedeluxe]

Mar 13, 2013 11:29:33 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

I felt embarrassed asking for a pacifier in the hospital too. Whatever, I was not going to use my boob as a pacifier. I loved her, but I needed to eat, sleep, and pee too.

AND, she probably didn't want your boob.  She wanted to suck.  That's what pacifiers are for. 

I mean, I don't think gum is food.  Sometimes I want to chew or have something in my mouth (TWSS), but if I'm hungry, I don't think that gum will be my food.  And babies are even smarter than me.  So, I have faith they know that no food is coming out of a binky.  And, they suck on it anyway!  So.....

[eav2c]

Mar 13, 2013 11:29:33 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

I felt embarrassed asking for a pacifier in the hospital too. Whatever, I was not going to use my boob as a pacifier. I loved her, but I needed to eat, sleep, and pee too.

The LC yelled at me for giving him a nuk pacifier. At first I thought she was mad because I gave him a pacifier and I burst into tears. She came back 5 minutes later with a soothie and was like "if he uses this, he won't mess up your nipple." I loved the day of Colin using a paci. He was soooo easy to sooth! No more... Momma, momma, momma. I envy people who can get their baby to use a paci.

[rubber pants]

This whole thread gives me the sadz.

I chose to FF from the very beginning. I had no interest in wanting to BF (not even colostrum). Personal choice. I was actually under general anesthesia when my baby was born. Her first taste of food was a formula bottle fed to her by my husband. The nurses took pictures. I did not post them on FB becuase it was an incredibly private moment between a father and his daughter. I will cherish those pictures until the day I die because I was unable to conciously be there for that first moment she drank. If I did post those pics, I would hope that someone would not judge us.

I am a proud formula feeder. My daughter was 3 weeks early, ended up in the NICU for 4 days, and has been consecutively off the growth charts and is in perfect health.

This whole thread rubs me the wrong way.

[christidee]

I get what Dixee is saying. I think that before this board, no, I know that before this board, I would have been very judgmental toward FF. However, this board really opened my eyes. BFing and pumping is a PITA! Cleaning bottles is also a PITA. It is completely a personal decision, but I hate the judgement on both sides.

Confession: when we have J his first bottle of expressed milk, I didn't want it on FB at all. I was worried about judgement either way.

[dixeedeluxe]

Mar 13, 2013 11:44:04 GMT -5 rubber pants said:

This whole thread gives me the sadz.

I chose to FF from the very beginning. I had no interest in wanting to BF (not even colostrum). Personal choice. I was actually under general anesthesia when my baby was born. Her first taste of food was a formula bottle fed to her by my husband. The nurses took pictures. I did not post them on FB becuase it was an incredibly private moment between a father and his daughter. I will cherish those pictures until the day I die because I was unable to conciously be there for that first moment she drank. If I did post those pics, I would hope that someone would not judge us.

I am a proud formula feeder. My daughter was 3 weeks early, ended up in the NICU for 4 days, and has been consecutively off the growth charts and is in perfect health.

This whole thread rubs me the wrong way.

I think the point of the thread has evolved into education to women can make choices.  My sister was also under general and had planned to BF.  She was awake (but SO groggy) within an hour of the surgery.  No formula bottles were given.  Can I ask you a few questions so I can better understand?

- Was your choise to breastfeed or bottle feed from the start?

- If you had been awake and able to make decisions, would you have chosen for your kiddo to get a formula bottle right after birth?

[rubber pants]

Mar 13, 2013 11:47:50 GMT -5 dixeedeluxe said:

Mar 13, 2013 11:44:04 GMT -5 rubber pants said:

This whole thread gives me the sadz.

I chose to FF from the very beginning. I had no interest in wanting to BF (not even colostrum). Personal choice. I was actually under general anesthesia when my baby was born. Her first taste of food was a formula bottle fed to her by my husband. The nurses took pictures. I did not post them on FB becuase it was an incredibly private moment between a father and his daughter. I will cherish those pictures until the day I die because I was unable to conciously be there for that first moment she drank. If I did post those pics, I would hope that someone would not judge us.

I am a proud formula feeder. My daughter was 3 weeks early, ended up in the NICU for 4 days, and has been consecutively off the growth charts and is in perfect health.

This whole thread rubs me the wrong way.

I think the point of the thread has evolved into education to women can make choices.  My sister was also under general and had planned to BF.  She was awake (but SO groggy) within an hour of the surgery.  No formula bottles were given.  Can I ask you a few questions so I can better understand?

- Was your choise to breastfeed or bottle feed from the start?

- If you had been awake and able to make decisions, would you have chosen for your kiddo to get a formula bottle right after birth?

My choice was to bottle feed from the start.  If I had been awake, I would have formula fed right after birth. 

[dixeedeluxe]

So your birth experience isn't really relevant to the discussion, correct?

I only say that because I think if that was the standard (I didn't know if it was or not), then someone in your circumstance would've been at a GREAT disadvantage. If that birth experience was not traumatic enough*, then your baby getting a formula bottle on top of it because "they needed it", may have been crushing! Know what I mean?

*You may not describe your experience as "traumatic". I know my sister doesn't and she is 100% satisfied and confident in everything that happened. So I don't want to assume you guys are either the same or different.

[Deleted]

Yeah, I was so ashamed walking into his 2 day check up with a paci in mouth. I remember calling my mom in tears because Elias would just sit on my boobs for hours and they were cracked and bleeding, and she was all, "Give him a pacifier!!" I was like, "Noo they say thats bad and will ruin my breastfeeding!!" But I gave it to him, it didnt give him any issues and let my boobs get a break and heal! I was also told to not use a nipple shield because baby would get too dependent and not latch without it. I thought at the time they were only used for people with smaller nipples or inverted nipples and I had amazon woman nipples so I didn't think I would benefit.

[biblionerd]

Mar 13, 2013 10:43:43 GMT -5 dixeedeluxe said:

Mar 13, 2013 10:40:39 GMT -5 lauranicole91 said:

I think PB is a special thoughtflake. It's not o"ut loud" but it isn't exactly keeping it to yourself either. I don't have an issue with your confession. Everyone is allowed to feel the way they feel, just as everyone is allowed to feed their baby whatever way they like.

I think I should not have felt the way I felt!  Does that even make sense?  I mean, obviously no, but it surprised ME that it was my gut reaction. 

I understand what you are/were saying. It still just gave me the sadz that it's still so many peoples' reactions whether they even know why.  

[Deleted]

I want to kiss whoever invented the pacifier. I knew from the get-go that I would give him a paci. I am so thrilled he loved it...and still does!