My sister is going through a divorce and I am looking for some information so I can help her.
Background: My sister has been married around 6 years. They have one child, high school age. For most of the relationship she has not worked, but within the last year got a job working retail. Her salary varies greatly depending on the number of hours she gets. I would guess she makes around 20-25,000 annually. He has a good job and probably makes around 65-75,000. They live in a low cost of living area. For example rent on a decent two bedroom apartment would be $700-$800 a month.
Her and her husband are trying to keep the divorce amicable. They are separated for now and they are trying to figure out how much support she should receive from him. They are getting close to nailing down a number and she is asking for advice on that number. My family thinks she should hire a lawyer, but she is trying to avoid that if possible, at least for now. He wants to give her $700 for child support and alimony. Do you guys think this is fair based on the above information? If she got a lawyer would she get a lot more then that? She isn't trying to milk him for every dollar she can, but is trying to make sure she doesn't screw herself completely by agreeing to this number.
I don't know a lot about divorces. Will she have to go in front of a judge eventually? Will the judge decide on this issue even if they come to an agreement now? Does anybody have an idea on how long alimony lasts?
This is all very dependent on where she lives and many other factors. I know you stated that she didn't want to get a lawyer but I think she really should. Mine was invaluable during the divorce process. I know in my state that even if they agree to a number a judge could trump it. A lawyer would be able to suggest numbers that would avoid that.
There should be an online calculator for child support in her state. I receive more than that for my 1 DD, but that is dependent on income and other variables. Is she a SAHM? I worked part time when XH and I split, and the court awarded child support based on our individual incomes and debts/obligations. Do they own a home? Other property? These are all things to consider. It is nice to do everything amicably, but I cannot advise enough that a lawyer is a great resource, even if she just goes in for a free consultation. I am now in the process of suing my XH for quite a bit of money because he decided to not follow our divorce decree in terms of property settlement. I say this to provide an example that while things might be amicable now, anything can happen and things do change. A free consult takes nothing but an hour or so of her time. An attorney experienced in divorce in her state will be able to go over things your sister may not have thought of.
Alimony is a tricky subject, and I did not pursue/receive it so I am not informed on that. In my divorce, XH and I waived our right to appear before a judge, settled everything with a mediator and the judge granted our divorce without us present. They will likely have to file a parenting plan and a financial affidavit with the court.
Knowing nothing more than what you've said, $700/mo sounds like more than I think she'd get if they fought it out with lawyers. But I am not a lawyer, and I don't know.
If she is happy with it, then I'd accept it.
in a lot of states the child will get 15-25% of the father's take home in CS so $700 doesn't seem like that much.
Is her STBX the child's bioglogical dad or adoptive dad? (if child is hs age but they have only been married 6 yrs, one assumes he is probably not the bio dad). I ask because if he is not the bio dad or adoptive dad, he might not be compelled to pay child support at all. Even if he does, she won't receive support for more than a few years because the child is close to age 18.
My knee jerk reaction is that $700 a month is a good deal - having only been married 6 years I don't know if she'd generally qualify for alimony in her state.
My sorry your sister is going through this. I hope she's able to find better employment to help stabilize her future.
Is her STBX the child's bioglogical dad or adoptive dad? (if child is hs age but they have only been married 6 yrs, one assumes he is probably not the bio dad). I ask because if he is not the bio dad or adoptive dad, he might not be compelled to pay child support at all. Even if he does, she won't receive support for more than a few years because the child is close to age 18.
My knee jerk reaction is that $700 a month is a good deal - having only been married 6 years I don't know if she'd generally qualify for alimony in her state.
My sorry your sister is going through this. I hope she's able to find better employment to help stabilize her future.
Adoptive dad, sorry should have explained that in the beginning!
Did he formally adopt her son? If so, there is no difference than if it were a biological child. If not, I am not sure that she would get any child support from him. Does his biological father (if his rights were not terminated) provide child support?
I am probably getting a divorce without a lawyer, but I don't think I would even consider that route if I were in her situation. This sounds like the type of scenario where legal help is pretty important.
With a child and an income that will make it hard to support herself, I'd want to make sure all the bases are covered. I think $700 a month sounds like a reasonable percentage of his income, but if she has primary custody it sounds like her STBX will have more money to spend on living expenses than she and her son combined. Something about that doesn't sound right to me - he should not come out that far ahead of the two of them. Which sucks for him, but is also only fair I think....
Post by awkwardpenguin on Mar 20, 2013 23:45:21 GMT -5
She should do the free consultation with a lawyer. Mine was quick and easy, and confirmed for me that I was not eligible for alimony in my state and that it was fine to proceed without a lawyer as long as we could work it out on our own.
And yes, the judge will have to approve that it is a fair settlement, but they give pretty wide latitude when the parties both agree on the terms.
$700 seems a little low to me. It varies by state, so google her state child support calculator or talk to the child support enforcement department. A large discrepancy between a mother and father's income can result in a large child support payment, so it is not necessarily a set percentage of income. The courts do what is best for the child and don't want their lifestyle to be drastically different at each home. If they both made $50k the child support may be a lot less than if the custodial parent make $25k and the noncustodial parent made $75k. The amount of visitation may factor in to the calculation.
IMO you should always get a lawyer if children are involved because I've seen quickie divorces that lead to years of custody battles. However, just because both people have lawyers doesn't mean it had to be contentious. If they both agree to everything, the lawyers will help facilitate the process and make sure neither party is getting screwed. I've also known of people who agreed on everything and used one lawyer, rather than a mediator. Since the child is older, it may not be as much of an issue and I suggest she use a parenting plan and address if her ex will help pay for college.
Post by morningmania on Mar 21, 2013 6:59:03 GMT -5
This could be dependent on a lot of things, is he providing health care, is he paying any percentage of out of pocket health care, is he providing college tuition or assistance for the child in the future, will he be helping with sports or school costs, school clothes, or any other future expenses for the child.
Those are all things to think about also. It is not only about what she is getting a month.
$700 is well within the realm of 15-25% of take home pay with an income of $65-$75K.
Except that the 15-25% is JUST for child support. Not alimony...
ETA: I was going to add that if she is happy with $700 she is welcome to take less than the state allows. But they need to think about all the other things out there like money for college, activities, new clothes each year, etc.