I feel like the worst mom ever.

[malibu]

We've had some pretty severe sleeping issues with DD for the last several months. She's 2 1/2, and pretty much refuses to go to bed. It'll be midnight and the kid's still up running around, playing, happy as a clam. She rarely naps, doesn't seem to be having any repercussions from getting so little sleep. We keep expecting her to eventually crash. Three months or so later, she still hasn't. Finally last night, my H turned her doorknob around so it locks from the outside. We were both falling asleep last night at about 8 since we haven't been getting any sleep with this going on for so long.

So when bedtime came, I put her to bed, read her stories, and kissed her goodnight. Closed and locked the door. Sure enough, within minutes she was hopping out of bed. She tried the knob and couldn't open it. Cried and cried. I felt so bad, but the kid has to sleep, and so do we! I felt like such a horrible mom. She was asleep in her bed when I woke her to get ready for daycare this morning. This was definitely our last resort, but I hated to have to do it. I was out of ideas, out of tricks, and running on empty. She can't hurt herself in her room with anything, so she was safe. But man, did I have the mommy guilt. Soemone please tell me I'm not horrible!

[speckledfrog]

I think anything that doesn't involve physically harming your child when you are at the end of your rope is a win.

[Deleted]

your kid needs sleep. you need to make that happen. if this is what is working, now, then this is what is working. you can always reevaluate your course of action in the future.

[ering1115]

I am willing to be that 3 days into this she will be sleeping fine- or at least not crying as much. Good luck!

[malibu]

I feel like she's going to associate bedtime or her room with being disciplined or something, and I don't want that to happen. But I know I need to get her to understand that it's bedtime, just feel like I'm locking her in jail or something. Hopefully it won't take too long before she gets it and we won't have to lock it anymore.

[luckyval]

Something's got to give - you're not hurting her by doing this. You're doing what needs to be done to get her to go to sleep. No one's going to judge you for that.

With that said, is there someone that could take her for a night and let you guys get some sleep?

[Kristinmo]

Not horrible. We did the same thing with my DS at about 1.5 and we are sleep training my DD this weekend (she's 13 months). Sleep is very important for everyone.

[ElizabethBennet]

You did the right thing. She needs to sleep and hopefully now you'll all be able to get some rest.

[malibu]

May 2, 2013 12:19:09 GMT -5 luckyval said:

Something's got to give - you're not hurting her by doing this. You're doing what needs to be done to get her to go to sleep. No one's going to judge you for that.

With that said, is there someone that could take her for a night and let you guys get some sleep?

Not for a few weeks. My inlaws are out of the country on vacation, and my mom's back has been out for about two weeks, so she isn't up to chasing my child around right now. It's been a rough couple of months with the lack of sleep, but hopefully this will get her back into a bedtime schedule.

[Deleted]

Yeah. We do this from day one. I lock my kids in their rooms until they're potty trained, and I'd keep it up past that if they were giving me sleep trouble.

[sugarbear]

My kid still has a doorknob cover on his door, and he's three.
I think you did the right thing.

[Deleted]

Not horrible at all. We used a gate outside of DD's closed bedroom door.

[keyslover]

Not a bad mom. Bedtime/sleep issues my biggest stressor as a parent.

We have a baby gate on the kids door so they cannot get out and we can put them in there without having to worry about their safety.

[luckyval]

Fear of sleep fights is the reason we haven't moved Hart to a toddler bed yet.

[Captain Serious]

I know it *feels* awful, but it's for her own good. It's not healthy for her not to sleep. It's also not healthy for you to go months without sufficient sleep, either.

[tripleshot]

We switched the knob around too. I just realized we forgot to fix it when we sold the house last year. Hopefully the new owners don't think we are monsters. Lol.

You're not a bad mom!

[partiallysunny]

You are fine. DD is fine. You are a wonderful mother. Don't worry about a thing.

My kid is still in his crib and there's a reason for that. I'm screwed when he learns to climb out.

[malibu]

luckyval She was in a toddler bed at 17 months, has had a twin bed since before she turned two. She was able to climb out of her crib at 17 months. This child, God love her, has also figured out how to stack things in front of our entry door, climb up, and unlatch the safety bar we installed at the top of the door frame, in addition to unlocking the deadbolt and doorknob. This child will probably have killed me by the time she's 13. She's already attempting to escape and has found ways around every safety measure we've taken!

[LauraMoser]

I could have written this a few weeks ago. We battled DD2 (2 1/2 as well) to go to bed. She could fall asleep on the couch, on me, etc. and as soon as she hit the bed she'd wake up screaming. I am using a baby gate, and she now shares a room with DD1.

One night about two weeks ago, I decided, after trying mostly everything else, to try a different approach. I took her into bed, tucked her in, and sat with her for about a half hour. I had tried this in the past when she was in her own bedroom with no success. When I walked out of the room that night she wasn't asleep yet, but she was calm and relaxed. I haven't had any screaming incidents since then. Now she goes into bed no problems and doesn't even ask me to sit with her. I don't know what finally clicked for her, but something did.

I feel your pain though. DD2's sleep issues had been going on for probably eight months. It was brutal. From my experience, I'd say to keep trying different things, even the ones you have already tried. She will eventually get past it, but it could and probably will suck until she does.

[Deleted]

I'm a co sleeper (bring on the flames)

[pinkeggs]

I struggle with this stuff too. I was never comfortable with CIO. But the fact is that their little brains need sleep to develop and sometimes we have to teach them to do that. She will be alright, and you will all be better off.

[dirtyred]

I watched a program about sleep several years ago and there was a family with the same problem you have.  After multiple medical tests, all they could come up with was that this kid didn't need as much sleep as most people.  The solution, so the rest of the family could get some sleep, was to have special toys that she only got to play with at night time.  She didn't have to sleep, but she had to be quiet.

There was also a woman in her 80's who had been getting 4 hours of sleep a night her entire life, and begrudged those 4 hours.  She said she had so much to do that she wished she could just stay up 24 hours a day.

[malibu]

May 2, 2013 15:48:28 GMT -5 dirtyred said:

I watched a program about sleep several years ago and there was a family with the same problem you have.  After multiple medical tests, all they could come up with was that this kid didn't need as much sleep as most people.  The solution, so the rest of the family could get some sleep, was to have special toys that she only got to play with at night time.  She didn't have to sleep, but she had to be quiet.

There was also a woman in her 80's who had been getting 4 hours of sleep a night her entire life, and begrudged those 4 hours.  She said she had so much to do that she wished she could just stay up 24 hours a day.

We've kind of come to the conclusion she doesn't need as much sleep as most other kids her age. She's always been a night owl, since the day we brought her home from the hospital. But this midnight or later deal has been within the last few months, prior to that she was sleeping 9-10 hours a night. I am a little concerned something is wrong, but when I brought her in they didn't find anything (illness-wise) that would be causing it. I am a little concerned she has ADHD; most people who spend any extended amount of time agree that she definitely has trouble focusing and has much, much more energy than other toddlers/preschoolers her age. I don't know how early they start looking for signs or if I'm overreacting, but it's in the back of my head that there is something going on.

[malibu]

Dupe, stupid app.

[bananapancakes]

My mom used to lock me in my room at night and I turned out alright. Apparently, I would fall asleep on the floor by the door because I liked watching everyone's feet pass through the crack between the door and the floor. Every night my mom would come into my room before she went to bed, find me on the floor, and carry me back to bed.

Don't feel bad. You're a good mom! I hope everyone gets lots of sleep tonight!

[thinkofthesoldiers]

May 2, 2013 12:19:09 GMT -5 luckyval said:

Something's got to give - you're not hurting her by doing this. You're doing what needs to be done to get her to go to sleep. No one's going to judge you for that.

With that said, is there someone that could take her for a night and let you guys get some sleep?

I haven't read the rest of the replies yet, but switching where this kid is sleeping isn't what is needed right now. If someone can come to the house and follow their routine, then cool. If not, then they are going to have to tag team this until they get it under control.

[luckyval]

May 2, 2013 19:46:23 GMT -5 thinkofthesoldiers said:

May 2, 2013 12:19:09 GMT -5 luckyval said:

Something's got to give - you're not hurting her by doing this. You're doing what needs to be done to get her to go to sleep. No one's going to judge you for that.

With that said, is there someone that could take her for a night and let you guys get some sleep?

I haven't read the rest of the replies yet, but switching where this kid is sleeping isn't what is needed right now. If someone can come to the house and follow their routine, then cool. If not, then they are going to have to tag team this until they get it under control.

I was thinking more for malibu's sanity. If she's a little less burned out, she may be better prepared to take on a new approach

[cc]

I have a feeling that we will be battling this same issue in our house soon.

[cc]

May 2, 2013 18:21:21 GMT -5 malibu said:

May 2, 2013 15:48:28 GMT -5 dirtyred said:

I watched a program about sleep several years ago and there was a family with the same problem you have.  After multiple medical tests, all they could come up with was that this kid didn't need as much sleep as most people.  The solution, so the rest of the family could get some sleep, was to have special toys that she only got to play with at night time.  She didn't have to sleep, but she had to be quiet.

There was also a woman in her 80's who had been getting 4 hours of sleep a night her entire life, and begrudged those 4 hours.  She said she had so much to do that she wished she could just stay up 24 hours a day.

We've kind of come to the conclusion she doesn't need as much sleep as most other kids her age. She's always been a night owl, since the day we brought her home from the hospital. But this midnight or later deal has been within the last few months, prior to that she was sleeping 9-10 hours a night. I am a little concerned something is wrong, but when I brought her in they didn't find anything (illness-wise) that would be causing it. I am a little concerned she has ADHD; most people who spend any extended amount of time agree that she definitely has trouble focusing and has much, much more energy than other toddlers/preschoolers her age. I don't know how early they start looking for signs or if I'm overreacting, but it's in the back of my head that there is something going on.

My son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 8 and one of the things the psychologist said was that not needing as much sleep as a person who doesn't have ADHD is pretty common.

[thinkofthesoldiers]

May 2, 2013 20:13:37 GMT -5 luckyval said:

May 2, 2013 19:46:23 GMT -5 thinkofthesoldiers said:

I haven't read the rest of the replies yet, but switching where this kid is sleeping isn't what is needed right now. If someone can come to the house and follow their routine, then cool. If not, then they are going to have to tag team this until they get it under control.

I was thinking more for malibu's sanity. If she's a little less burned out, she may be better prepared to take on a new approach

I get it, but her sanity will be better served, IMO, by not going back on something she has started. Kids thrive on consistency, and shoving the kid off to someone's house. She and her H can tag team it. Hell, they can each take a night at the grandparent's house if they need to or a hotel or a tent in the backyard.