I have had that, and it is AWESOME. Now, I think I'll make some tomorrow. For the party I cancelled. lol
Losing my mom was the worst thing that ever happened to me. I grew up trying to think of what it was she'd want me to do, I had no one who really loved me, or cared about what happened to me. When I had my kids, I felt pretty rigid at first, about having to do all the 'right' things the 'right' way. When I realized that I needed to love them, relax, and do what worked best for US, I felt a lot better. And I remember feeling REALLY good, when one day it occurred to me that my mom used to love me, just like this, just like I was feeling toward the boys; it really warmed me, and I felt stronger for it. I also remembered a few things from my childhood, as my own kids grew up, changed, learned, etc ; I remembered when I felt the way they did, and what I wished I'd had at the time.
I really did feel better. And, I did have some counseling, but it really didn't add a whole lot to what I was already feeling about it all.
Thanks, I needed that. I'll go along for months, doing my thing, and then it'll just hit me, that I miss my mom and CLEARLY, if she were still around I would be a better parent.
sugarbear, I get what you're saying. I really wish I could call my mom for advice some days. I'm ten years older than she ever got to be, and it's weird.
I was 11, and babysitting our 2 yo next door neighbor kid for an hour while his mom went to the store, my mom was in the hospital. I called her because the kid was being all upset and I didn't know what to do. She gave me some good advice for a tantrumy two year old, and I said thanks, did whatever she'd said, and went merrily on my way. It occurred to me, years later, that she knew she was dying then. She knew, and I didn't; and she gave me child rearing advice, the only I ever got from her, and I wondered, and still do, if she cried when we hung up.
This made me cry. My mom died when I was 19 and half way through my freshman year of college. I casually mentioned in a phone conversation to her that my coach's 3 month old son (who was like a brother to me) hated the carseat and cried the whole time. She said next time I should try squeezing/massaging his feet. I still do that to my boys, especially when DS2 is cranky and miserable as babies can be. It always makes me think of her - and how that is the only piece of parenting advice I ever received from her. She knew she was dying, too. I wonder if she cried after that conversation also. FUCK CANCER.
sugarbear, I get what you're saying. I really wish I could call my mom for advice some days. I'm ten years older than she ever got to be, and it's weird.
I was 11, and babysitting our 2 yo next door neighbor kid for an hour while his mom went to the store, my mom was in the hospital. I called her because the kid was being all upset and I didn't know what to do. She gave me some good advice for a tantrumy two year old, and I said thanks, did whatever she'd said, and went merrily on my way. It occurred to me, years later, that she knew she was dying then. She knew, and I didn't; and she gave me child rearing advice, the only I ever got from her, and I wondered, and still do, if she cried when we hung up.
This made me cry. My mom died when I was 19 and half way through my freshman year of college. I casually mentioned in a phone conversation to her that my coach's 3 month old son (who was like a brother to me) hated the carseat and cried the whole time. She said next time I should try squeezing/massaging his feet. I still do that to my boys, especially when DS2 is cranky and miserable as babies can be. It always makes me think of her - and how that is the only piece of parenting advice I ever received from her. She knew she was dying, too. I wonder if she cried after that conversation also. FUCK CANCER.