Post by BieberMyBalls on Jun 13, 2012 12:00:51 GMT -5
I was using a sandwich grill, and had just opened it to take the sandwich out. I leaned over to grab something, bumped the grill which caused the top part to fall closed, and somehow burned my boob. I have a nice scar on my right boob now, to remind me how much of a dumbass I am.
bagel related injury. that's what is written on the top of my ER discharge papers.
I really want it hear this story LOL
You know how you have to slice some bagels in half? And like, you sort of squish it down with your palm and slice horizontally? It's important to remember to move your fucking fingers out of the way.
So, anyway, I go to the ER to get some stitches and it is 8am on a weekday and the place is empty. So the staff starts to amuse themselves at my expense. They keep coming in and telling me that Panera will slice my bagels for me, asking if I've had other breakfast injuries, telling me about bagel slicers I can buy at Bed Bath and Beyond. I get my stitches and they give me my discharge papers. At the top, where it says Reason for Visit, is written "Bagel Related Injury".
I got turf toe when I jumped and came down on my foot wrong because a fucking lizard ran across the top of my foot. I am terrified of the little bastards. It has been almost 10 years and my toe still hurts from time to time.
In third grade I fell from the monkey bars and landed on my right ankle, fracturing my growth plate.
The best part was that I freaked because I didn't want to admit that I'd "broken" anything. So to calm me down my mom told me it was "just a hairline fracture." and I repeated this over and over telling everyone that I had never broken anything, it was just a hairline fracture... years later I still cringe.
Post by deanlicker78 on Jun 13, 2012 12:32:35 GMT -5
I went to a concert when I was 16 and some fat guy crowd surfing fell on top of me. I dislocated my shoulder. I wasn't supposed to be at the concert so I told my parents I fell down my friend's stairs.
When I was little my brother hung me from the top of the swing set and told me to jump, he was totally going to catch me. He didn't. I broke my arm. The little shit wouldn't let me in the house either because he knew he was going to be in trouble. I had to stand in the yard and cry until my mother came out.
Oh! I forgot. I have a perfect part down the center of my scalp due to a scar. I fell under one of those double swing things on my old rusty swingset and it literally scalped that part of my head. Got the world's most painful stitches and now I have a part that won't go away.
Post by mrsjuleshs on Jun 13, 2012 13:13:28 GMT -5
I still have a scar from a dumb argument I had with a friend in 3rd grade. She got mad at me cause I also thought Christian Bale was hot in Newsies. Apparently she was the only one allowed to say that so she clawed the crap out of my arm.
More - my brother pushed me into a door jam in 8th grade breaking my toe. I fell out of a swing and broke my arm in 5th grade. I sliced a chunk out of my finger a few years ago using a knife to try to break the stupid rock sugar out of the container for DD.
-Had to have surgery on my ankle after a cleaning incident -Had to have surgery on my toes after running to the other room -split my head open and knocked myself out walking
Most of all my other injuries are all gymnastics related. I am really not a klutz, the older I get the more I seem to injure myself.
Post by mamasaurus on Jun 13, 2012 13:21:09 GMT -5
The weirdest? Hmm.
When I was a kid, I was swimming at the bottom of a pool, playing that game where one person throws a penny while the other person isn't looking and then that person has to go find it. Somebody didn't see me and did a cannonball right on top of me. The force of him hitting me smashed my face into the concrete pool bottom, and I broke my nose plus my teeth went most of the way through my lower lip, so I needed stitches in my mouth.
It's either that, or the time I got a black eye having sex. (We clearly did not realize how close my face was to the corner of the table.)
Or the time I accidentally burned off an eyebrow while using a lighter to remove a fabric necklace I couldn't unknot. There were no scissors in the hotel room, and for some reason, it just didn't occur to me to go down to the lobby and ask if they had a pair I could use. I don't know if that counts as in injury, though, because it didn't hurt and didn't really leave a mark.