I've been feeling so blah about it seems everything in general since we returned from vacation a few weeks ago, and I don't know how to shake it. I feel blah about how I look - I'm about 12-15 pounds over my happy weight, been stuck at that weight for a year but have lacked any will power or commitment to get the weight off. I'm annoyed at work - people just can't seem to do their jobs, even the simplest tasks, and I'm just grumpy about having to deal with fixing constant bullshit everywhere I look at my job. I'm not motivated to get off my ass and do much ever - H and I mostly just watch tv then I go to bed early. TTC also feels kinda blah at the moment. My entire being and life at the moment just seems annoying, frustrating, grumpy. And the stupid part is I really have no reason to feel this way - my life is pretty good on paper.
Has anyone ever been in a complete life funk/rut and happily gotten out of it? I'm thinking I just need to completely shake things up - completely commit to a good healthy diet and exercise to lose at least 10 pounds, start doing shit other than watching TV and going to bed early, not letting little things bother me at work. I know I just need to shut up and do it, but right now I'm stuck in that "I don't wanna" phase - I know I need to put my big girl panties on.
Post by HoneySpider on Aug 9, 2013 10:02:10 GMT -5
I started typing out a response and then realized I didn't know where I was going with it.
I've been there several times (quite recently) and in a way am sort of still in a funk. I don't know the answer, just what I've tried. For me, it was one of those "shit or get off the pot" type of things - I can keep complaining and being stressed and miserable or I can make a change. So I decided to make a change with my job, with putting our house up for sale, with working on eating healthy/working out. Things aren't changing overnight but at least I know I'm taking steps to get where I want to be, even if it's hard.
Maybe focus on one thing at a time? We're in a big rut as far as a watch tv/go to bed early routine also but right now I'm letting it go and addressing other things.
Post by hokiegirl82 on Aug 9, 2013 10:25:37 GMT -5
Honeyspider - I like your "shit or get off the pot" saying - I feel that is exactly what I need to do. Complaining and stressing about little things does me no good, so I should get going with making changes or stop complaining.
JJ - I am like you - I like to have a plan, and kinda feel like right now I have no plans except go to work, watch tv, eat junk, and go to sleep. This is not a good life plan!
I think I need to spend some time this weekend writing down each thing that is bothering me and I feel annoyed with, and write down the good and bad things about each - living situation, work, health, etc. - then write a plan where I can start changing or feeling better about each thing. I tend to stress about little things and get upset about things I have no control over, but I don't try to change things I do have control over - I need to start there.
I am trying to plan things so that we are not at home every evening, but it still seems like we are at home watching tv so much.
Honestly I have been in this rut since the mc and I feel like I will never get out of it unless I get a BFP. Which is sad because I don't want to define my life on only being out of my rut when I get pregnant. Therapy is helping with all this a little.
I feel like I'm in a rut about some things...but then I try to look around and identify some things that I am NOT in a rut about. That makes me feel a little better. Then I try to identify ONE thing to work on at a time...if I try to tackle multiple aspects of life at the same time, I end up doing well in all of them...for a few days. So now instead (and so far, so good), I only try to improve one thing at a time. Right now, I'm trying to be more diligent about exercising/getting physical activity. That doesn't change the fact that we need to stop watching so much tv or that I feel like I don't have enough friends locally, but trying to do everything at once sometimes just feels too overwhelming. And, oh yeah, the emotional rollercoaster of TTC.
Post by wanderingenough on Aug 9, 2013 10:52:33 GMT -5
I feel for you. I'm sorry you are going through that (all of you). I've been in that spot before and it's so frustrating. My best suggestion is to try to mix things up a bit. When frustrated with eating well, it helps me to find an "accountability buddy" of sorts. It's usually someone from work or even an old friend I can email with to check in. For working out, the best thing that has EVER worked for me was finding something that both DH and I enjoyed. I think it would be the same if I had a friend that enjoyed the same activity with me. When I don't want to go, he still does -and vice versa. I've stuck with working out this time around for longer than I ever have before because of that extra push. With the rut at home, maybe try planning something out of the house on your day(s) off. Usually something is simple as a cheap date night gives me something to look forward to other than tv on the couch.
Post by HoneySpider on Aug 9, 2013 11:04:57 GMT -5
For anyone struggling with the emotions of TTC, I totally get that. TTC has been a frustrating, upsetting, painful experience with times of anger, self-pity, jealousy, and bitterness. But I've really been trying to limit those types of feelings and instead focus on the excitement and anticipation. I told DH recently that I can't control what has happened (or not happened) and being bitter and mean about it doesn't get me anywhere. I'm doing what I can do and that's going to have to be good enough right now.
I honestly try to limit the negative feelings to 1-2 days when AF shows up and then I move on. And those 1-2 days are pretty ugly (LOTS of crying) but then it's out of my system.
I am normally a pretty pessimistic person but for some reason, being mostly positive about TTC right now seems to help. And talking with all of you - whether it's TTC related or not - seems to help too. So bring on the silly posts, they are a good distraction
Has anyone ever been in a complete life funk/rut and happily gotten out of it? I'm thinking I just need to completely shake things up - completely commit to a good healthy diet and exercise to lose at least 10 pounds, start doing shit other than watching TV and going to bed early, not letting little things bother me at work. I know I just need to shut up and do it, but right now I'm stuck in that "I don't wanna" phase - I know I need to put my big girl panties on.
Don't put unnecessary pressure on yourself. Try tackling one thing at a time - I recommend starting with doing more outside of TV or trying harder to eat healthy. I think either would be surmountable if that's your focus, and either would make a big improvement in your mood.
I have had a funk. I tried to shake things up by getting busier and hanging out with friends more. It kind of worked. I did get pretty low so I went to counselor, and that was moderately helpful. It's not for everyone, but it was pretty simple through my work EAP.
Post by hokiegirl82 on Aug 9, 2013 13:15:22 GMT -5
Thank you for the encouraging and understanding words everyone - sometimes I feel like I can't talk to people in real life about some of the thigs I'm feeling, and I appreciate being able to talk it out here, and to know that other's have had some life funks like I'm having.
It doesn't help that TTC is a huge mindfuck - that just adds to the crap everyone tries to deal with daily with work and everything else. I think I'm also feeling extra shitty today because I'm supposed to get AF anytime today or this weekend and I'm not looking forward to it. But I just had a delicious lunch with a work friend, and I bought a slice of awesome chocolate cake to have later - chocolate solves everything (at least for a few minutes) .
I sometimes get into a rut. My solution when I feel its happening, I go for 'a run'. I use that term losely. I am over weight and unfit so I can't really run, and usually for my first 6 weeks I am doing more walking than running, but it works for me. I managed to keep it up for almost 6 months last year and was running for 25 minutes (without stopping) by the end of things. I like getting up early before my family wakes and the roads get busy. I turn on my music and just go. Its time for me and if I have funky music on it puts me in a good, energetic mood for the day and inspires me to eat better. On my first morning I try and run for one minute at a time, 8 times over in 30 minutes.