Dh's gpa has a large trust but has it set up to give money put to his huge family only once he passes. We would love some if the money now for a great down payment in a home but dh thinks his gpa doesn't want to be alive to see how all the kids and grand kids spend all his hard earned money.
Eh, I totally get saving and not gifting it all while alive. Getting old is one of the most expensive things a person can do. My grandma who died last December was in a high end nursing home that cost 10k a month and in addition to that she had to have a certain amount in assets in the event she had to end up in the hospital wing. She did end up in the dementia/Alzheimer's which accounts for some why it was so expensive but you simply cannot predict these things. It was all private pay, as most nursing homes are, so saving while alive to not burden those while you are dying is a big deal. I'd much prefer to be in a home that I was very well cared and not a burden to my family than gifting everything I've got before I die. I've been on the end of having someone who needs a nursing home with no savings/assets/etc and vice versa. I am glad my grandmother saved rather than gave out money for down payments, etc. She was able to be extremely well cared.
Yes. We think the best gift our grandparents and parents can give us is to plan for their care in their elderly years beyond what they think they might need. We plan to do the same for our children. That's why I refuse to feel guilty if my kids have to take out a student loan or two. I know that they would much rather pay back some loans than deal with the burden of an ailing, financially unstable parent later in life.
Post by sunshineluv on Aug 27, 2013 12:28:30 GMT -5
DH has gotten decent gifts from his grandparents on occasion (graduations and marriage). They have saved the money for his sister too, but won't give it to her yet until she is more responsible. I don't think she knows about it though. I am glad they have waited, she would have wasted the money very quickly.
But I am talking about a few grand, not enough for a down payment on a house.
I don't think we will ever see a large inheritance, from any of our family members.
I would give it to them if they had a specific use in mind for it, like buying a house, car, etc. But if my kids were immature and would just blow it on stupid things, I would wait.
I would also prefer my children enjoyed the money. But I also think maybe it would make me really mad and sad to see them potentially throw it away on something stupid. I think it would really hurt the relationship, and I would rather not have to deal with that during my last years.
When my grandfather died (my grandmother was still alive) my mom and each of her siblings got decent gift/inheritance from him (he wanted the money to come from him, not when gma died, ownership issues) and my poor grandma had to literally watch one child drink herself to death and the other drink himself disabled/unable to function.
Very sad, so I could see not giving money to children while alive if it could not be used responsibly.
eta: they were adults with adult (early 20s) children so it was not like handing money out to young kids, just irresponsible adults.
Post by creamsiclechica on Aug 27, 2013 13:14:31 GMT -5
My grandparents are like this. They have significant funds like you are talking but they're waiting because of taxes and earning potential. Their assets are also including property rights that have earning potential, meaning it includes rights to things that generate income. I hope that's not too vague, but I don't want to give away their details. They have given large sums of money to my parents on specific occasions so far, and paid the taxes so my parents wouldn't have to, but it was a huge, huge hit and my parents still had to report it and there was a lot if red tape that screwed up their average, everyday tax situation if that makes sense. Plus, the longer it's held undivided and invested the way it is, the more it compounds. I think currently, and I could be wrong, estate taxes on average are high, but smaller than the gift tax. She might be advised financially to wait.
Also, like you, I'm not waiting around for my grandparents to die. If all that money would save them and keep them forever, I'd rather do that.
My grandparents had money set aside for each of the grandkids' inheritance that they originally intended to be left after their passing. However my g-ma became concerned that she could end up losing it if she went into a state home, so she did end up writing us each a check. It wasn't a huge amount, small enough to avoid gift taxes, but enough to make a big difference in the down payment we'll be able to put on our next home.
DH's grandma is a frugal little old lady and has money that will be passed down in some way. She is absolutely devastated that she needed a new tv, fridge, and washer this year because those had to come out of the principle and not the interest on her money. Yet, she pays for a ridiculously expensive vacation for all 30+ of us every summer without batting an eye.
my grandmother is doing well for herself but she is also 82 and fully on her own still (and still drives). who knows how long she'll need the money. She has 5 kids, 10 grandkids and 3 greatgrandkids. I think she doesnt have enough to give substantially to everyone so she has birthday parties for herself where she pays for everyone to be together. it's a nice gesture of her but I dont think she will be impacted by gift tax/inheritance tax too heavily- it's not that much.
DH's grandfather is in his late 90s, his great aunt is over 100, and his other grandparents all lived into their late 80s/90s. My great grandfather was playing tennis until 103, my great grandparents on the other side all lived until their 90s, and three of my four grandparents are still alive. Short story: we've got serious longevity going, so I hope that everyone has enough money to pay for MANY years of care, should it be needed.