My turn to be the neurotic mom (long-ish)

[muppetinma]

At Andrew's 15 month appointment, the pediatrician said he wasn't too concerned about Andrew's lack of talking, yet.  He said that he wanted Andrew to have 5-10 words down by 18 months.  We're almost at 17 months and we've got nothing.  So then I start googling.  I know, stupid mistake.  But here's what I found on the Mayo Clinic website -


By the end of 12 months, your child might:

Try imitating words
Say a few words, such as "dada," "mama" and "uh-oh"
Understand simple instructions, such as "Come here"*
Recognize words for common items, such as shoe
Turn and look in the direction of sounds
Respond to "no"

The things in blue are the things that he does now, at almost 17 months.  For the simple instructions part, he has one or two things that he'll understand, but that's it.  And here's what they say for 18 months. 

By the end of 18 months, your child might:

Point to an object or picture when it's named
Recognize names of familiar people, objects and body parts
Follow simple directions accompanied by gestures
Say as many as eight to 10 words

There is NO way he's going to get any of that in a month.  Not a chance.  None of it.  We read books all day long, sing songs, talk about colors and shapes, and he just doesn't get it yet.  I try to get him to imitate me and he has no interest.  

WWPBD?  Would you wait until the 18 month appointment to discuss this?  Would you try to see your pediatrician earlier, since you know he won't hit any of those milestones?  Do you start looking into speech therapy programs on your own?  I'm at a loss.  It's even harder because DH is out of town, and will be for most of the month.  I don't like having these important appointments and meetings without him, but I don't really have a choice.  I'm forced to make all the parenting calls on my own and he just has to back me up.

[cat19]

I second waiting. My brother didn't speak until almost 2 years old and started with full sentences. Strange things happen.

[EnchantedSoul]

I'd wait. Kids do change over night. I would just be prepared to ask questions at the next appt. If your pedi has concerns, you can ask for referrals then.

Honestly, I wouldn't be very worried either. That's easy for me to say since this isn't my first kiddo. Does Andrew spend time around other verbal kids? I feel like, as adults, we have a tendency to be pushy and try to "teach" all the time.

DS1 has a language disorder and I found that he learned far more from slightly older kids, in terms of speaking, than he did from us.

[muppetinma]

Sept 1, 2013 10:05:39 GMT -5 EnchantedSoul said:

I'd wait. Kids do change over night. I would just be prepared to ask questions at the next appt. If your pedi has concerns, you can ask for referrals then.

Honestly, I wouldn't be very worried either. That's easy for me to say since this isn't my first kiddo. Does Andrew spend time around other verbal kids? I feel like, as adults, we have a tendency to be pushy and try to "teach" all the time.

DS1 has a language disorder and I found that he learned far more from slightly older kids, in terms of speaking, than he did from us.

He's in a gym class with kids that go up to 23 months old, but none of them really talk much in class.  And he's on a waiting list for preschool.  I'm hoping that he'll get in and that'll help somewhat.  

I don't think I'd be as concerned if he communicated in some way.  He doesn't wave.  He doesn't point.  I think he's just getting super frustrated because he can't communicate.  

[imimahoney]

I second waiting. Ari has, seemingly overnight, added to his vocabulary. If you really are stressing over it then I would put a call in to your pedi but I know mine would say let's see where he is in a month and then schedule an eval.

[Deleted]

Thinking logically, I would say wait. However, if it was my own child, I know that I would probably be neurotic also and want to call. I would say shut down google, and give it a couple of days. Then, ask yourself again what you are comfortable with and go with your gut. Are you comfortable waiting it out one more month, or would your mind be more at ease after calling the pedi? It's easy for others to say wait, he will be fine, but when it is your own kiddo is is natural to worry.

[kkfeb04]

I would wait. Katelyn had no words at 15 months and now she has about 3 words along with gestures. Kalvin barely had any of the 12 month things at 18 months, definitely no words. We sought out E.I. for him. DH was in speech until he was 10, he still has some word finding issues. Given DH's history, it was recommended for us to go to EI. The Pedi will automatically refer Katelyn at 18 months because of Kalvin being on the spectrum.

[EnchantedSoul]

Sept 1, 2013 10:11:41 GMT -5 muppetinma said:

Sept 1, 2013 10:05:39 GMT -5 EnchantedSoul said:

I'd wait. Kids do change over night. I would just be prepared to ask questions at the next appt. If your pedi has concerns, you can ask for referrals then.

Honestly, I wouldn't be very worried either. That's easy for me to say since this isn't my first kiddo. Does Andrew spend time around other verbal kids? I feel like, as adults, we have a tendency to be pushy and try to "teach" all the time.

DS1 has a language disorder and I found that he learned far more from slightly older kids, in terms of speaking, than he did from us.

He's in a gym class with kids that go up to 23 months old, but none of them really talk much in class.  And he's on a waiting list for preschool.  I'm hoping that he'll get in and that'll help somewhat.  

I don't think I'd be as concerned if he communicated in some way.  He doesn't wave.  He doesn't point.  I think he's just getting super frustrated because he can't communicate.  

I understand that. I was a mess when E didn't talk and FWIW, he was 2 before he began talking. Even then, he had an extensive vocab but couldn't put 2 words together. Speech didn't really help but exposure to my nephews who were a few yrs older certainly did.

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[jaime183]

I would wait since it's soon but in the meantime I'd try out more things so that I can tell them that I tried x, x, and x when they give suggestions. That way, they take action quicker at the peds.

Some kids just take longer to communicate and I get that, it's just their frustrations are so sad and overwhelming to me.

[irishsara]

He might not have those skills when he turns 18 months, but you figure even after that he has the whole month of being 18 months to learn the skill.

[bean47]

My pedi said many kids have an explosion of language around 18 months. I would wait and discuss it at your next appointment. I'm sorry you're worried

[fusion]

I would wait until his 18 month appt and then if you are concerned get a referral for an evaluation. I wish I would've listened to my gut and had Jameson evaluated earlier than we did as I think it could've made a huge difference in his speech. By the time he was evaluated he was a full year behind on speech. We go on Tuesday to be evaluated for the 3 year old school district program and if he isn't bad enough then I will seek out a more stringent private preschool program since he still really needs help. Evaluations for ECI are free here. The lack of pointing would be more concerning to me than the lack of speech though.

[charmediamsure]

I would wait. We went to Jack's 15 month appointment and he wasn't even taking more than 3 steps on his own---literally 3 days later he was walking independently ad only stumbled when he needed to turn. A week after the appointment he was running and taking corners no problem. I don't know how it happened so fast.

I've been concerned about his speech as well, but he seems to be making progress there now as well. He will be 17 months on Sept 8 and he is now starting to imitate, he understands 2 step instructions like the other day i said "go bring your book to auntie" so he had to go find his book and then go to her. He only has like 3-4 words right now (and they are things like "ca-ca" for cracker) but I feel like he is working on it even if he isn't doing it, YKWIM? I think a lot of progress can happen quickly in a month.

Also, my dr said he would give us a referral at 18 months if necessary but they likely wouldn't even see him/start being concerned until 24 months.

[laurack]

I also think wait until the 18 month as a lot can happen in a month. Sorry you have to worry about this

[devonpow]

On one hand, wait until the appointment. It is really true that things can change in the blink of an rye, so you really can't say he won't be doing those things in a month.

On the other hand, I say always, always go enough your gut. Were you unconcerned pre Googling? Then wait. Were you feeling a little worried or had/have a feeling that he may need an extra push? Call. You will feel better. Always follow your gut.

What did the pedi say about lack of pointing, etc at 15 months? Does Andrew use other gestures (like raising his arms to be picked up, etc)? I ask because Henry did EI for expressive communication when he was about a year, and the reasons he was referred were lack of gestures (no pointing, waving, or clapping) and lack of babbling consonant sounds. He caught up by 18-20 months and was/is fine. He was just slow to get going, and truthfully I knew in my gut that he was fine but figured the EI wouldn't hurt. He is still just a kid who does things in his own time smd is a bit of a late bloomer on things.

[formerlyllizzyb]

We just had Graham evaluated through Early Intervention since he has 0 words at 17 months and has never really babbled. He qualified for speech therapy services for an expressive language delay even though he meets absolutely every other developmental milestone and his receptive language is right on track.

Even if he's just a quiet kid and a late talker, I see no reason for us to not take advantage of these free and available services. If they can help him communicate an catch up quicker than he would on his own, great!

My pediatrician didnt have to refer us. I just called our county's EI and requested an eval.

[carawestt]

A lot can happen in a month, I would wait. I'm sorry you're worried.

[ruby412]

I would wait and if you are still concerned at the 18 month appointment, ask for an evaluation. Violet is also behind (?) with her speech and our pedi said 3 words by 18 months. Animal sounds count! Also, her DC teacher, who has been on the job for 15 years, said that it was not concerning to her at this age to not be talking. She said she sees that a lot and by 2 almost all kids catch up.

My BFF's daughter didn't say her first word until 21 months. Now, at 25 months she is considered advanced saying 4 word sentences!

I know the anecdotal stories don't really help, but I'd just keep trying the strategies to get him talking and discuss it with the pedi at 18 months. That is what we're doing.

[muppetinma]

Sept 1, 2013 11:59:36 GMT -5 devonpow said:

On one hand, wait until the appointment. It is really true that things can change in the blink of an rye, so you really can't say he won't be doing those things in a month.

On the other hand, I say always, always go enough your gut. Were you unconcerned pre Googling? Then wait. Were you feeling a little worried or had/have a feeling that he may need an extra push? Call. You will feel better. Always follow your gut.

What did the pedi say about lack of pointing, etc at 15 months? Does Andrew use other gestures (like raising his arms to be picked up, etc)? I ask because Henry did EI for expressive communication when he was about a year, and the reasons he was referred were lack of gestures (no pointing, waving, or clapping) and lack of babbling consonant sounds. He caught up by 18-20 months and was/is fine. He was just slow to get going, and truthfully I knew in my gut that he was fine but figured the EI wouldn't hurt. He is still just a kid who does things in his own time smd is a bit of a late bloomer on things.

I googled because I was concerned.  If anything, google just confirmed my suspicions.  The pedi didn't actually ask about pointing.  He doesn't raise his arms to be picked up, but he's not really snuggly and doesn't ever asked to be picked up.  He claps, but only if somebody else is clapping.  It's not in response to being happy.  The only thing I've ever seen him point at, which he does almost every time we read this book, is this guy on the left in the blue coat.  He's obsessed with him.  



I don't know.  Of course, it's a holiday weekend so I can't really call anybody to see if he should get checked out.  I can't get past the gut feeling that something isn't quite right.  Ugh.

[eav2c]

18-24 months is where word acquisition really starts. Some kids don't have that big burst till closer to two or later. There are some who have an early start between 12-18 months but studies show that early talking does not = smarter kids. That said, I totally get your concern, I am right there alongside you with regards to C, but it is still early and I would give it some time. Starbound mentioned in another thread that her DS1 did not really talk at all till 2 but now has a vocabulary that is stellar and is a huge talker. A lot can happen in a short time span so give it the next month or so, I think

[jsillyfun]

I am going to disagree with the others and say that you should have him evaluated. The worst that would happen is they would say he doesn't need EI, right? And that would reassure you. Otherwise, he might benefit from EI. I am having May evaluated and she does all the stuff on that list, except she doesn't have many words. I don't think there is reason to freak out at all. He will likely get there on his own soon (and so will May, I think), but I don't see the harm in getting them a little extra help if they would benefit from it.

[kkfeb04]

Sept 1, 2013 13:08:56 GMT -5 jsillyfun said:

I am going to disagree with the others and say that you should have him evaluated. The worst that would happen is they would say he doesn't need EI, right? And that would reassure you. Otherwise, he might benefit from EI. I am having May evaluated and she does all the stuff on that list, except she doesn't have many words. I don't think there is reason to freak out at all. He will likely get there on his own soon (and so will May, I think), but I don't see the harm in getting them a little extra help if they would benefit from it.

We aren't saying to not have him evaluated, we are stating to wait a month and not make a special appointment with the pedi.

[TrudyCampbell]

Sept 1, 2013 13:08:56 GMT -5 jsillyfun said:

I am going to disagree with the others and say that you should have him evaluated. The worst that would happen is they would say he doesn't need EI, right? And that would reassure you. Otherwise, he might benefit from EI. I am having May evaluated and she does all the stuff on that list, except she doesn't have many words. I don't think there is reason to freak out at all. He will likely get there on his own soon (and so will May, I think), but I don't see the harm in getting them a little extra help if they would benefit from it.

There's no harm in getting evaluated, that's for sure, but its VERY hard to qualify for services. If May has any words I can almost guarantee she will not get in. Which is a good thing!

Muppet, I wouldn't worry too much. He's gonna get there.

[imimahoney]

Sept 1, 2013 12:42:48 GMT -5 muppetinma said:

Sept 1, 2013 11:59:36 GMT -5 devonpow said:

 

 

I don't know.  Of course, it's a holiday weekend so I can't really call anybody to see if he should get checked out.  I can't get past the gut feeling that something isn't quite right.  Ugh.

Then I would say, go with your gut. PP are right, there is no harm in calling EI early. If you speak to your pedi on Tuesday, expressing your concerns and aren't happy with their response then I would definitely call EI on your own to schedule an eval. If he doesn't quality then yay! And if he does, then he will be receiving the services that he needs. 

[kkfeb04]

Sept 1, 2013 13:26:42 GMT -5 TrudyCampbell said:

Sept 1, 2013 13:08:56 GMT -5 jsillyfun said:

I am going to disagree with the others and say that you should have him evaluated. The worst that would happen is they would say he doesn't need EI, right? And that would reassure you. Otherwise, he might benefit from EI. I am having May evaluated and she does all the stuff on that list, except she doesn't have many words. I don't think there is reason to freak out at all. He will likely get there on his own soon (and so will May, I think), but I don't see the harm in getting them a little extra help if they would benefit from it.

There's no harm in getting evaluated, that's for sure, but its VERY hard to qualify for services. If May has any words I can almost guarantee she will not get in. Which is a good thing!

Muppet, I wouldn't worry too much. He's gonna get there.

I was going to say the same thing also.  It doesn't make sense that if she has words and meets the milestones why even bother getting her evaluated?  

There's a big difference of having NO words than having words.  FWIW, my son who does have a significant speech delay didn't even qualify at 18 months for speech therapy. He had a special instructor and an OT but speech didn't get assigned until 2. They wanted to see if the special instructor could help him first. My daughter is only getting evaluated because he is on the spectrum, there's a higher risk to her just because she's his sister. Source   

[fusion]

Sept 1, 2013 13:26:42 GMT -5 TrudyCampbell said:

Sept 1, 2013 13:08:56 GMT -5 jsillyfun said:

I am going to disagree with the others and say that you should have him evaluated. The worst that would happen is they would say he doesn't need EI, right? And that would reassure you. Otherwise, he might benefit from EI. I am having May evaluated and she does all the stuff on that list, except she doesn't have many words. I don't think there is reason to freak out at all. He will likely get there on his own soon (and so will May, I think), but I don't see the harm in getting them a little extra help if they would benefit from it.

There's no harm in getting evaluated, that's for sure, but its VERY hard to qualify for services. If May has any words I can almost guarantee she will not get in. Which is a good thing!

Muppet, I wouldn't worry too much. He's gonna get there.

True that. Jameson barely squeaked into qualifying and he was a FULL year behind in speech. They need to either have a 33% delay in one area (Jameson's was an expressive speech delay of 35%) or 25% delays in more than one area to qualify here (such as cognitive awareness and physical milestones).

[jsillyfun]

Sept 1, 2013 13:57:36 GMT -5 fusion said:

Sept 1, 2013 13:26:42 GMT -5 TrudyCampbell said:

There's no harm in getting evaluated, that's for sure, but its VERY hard to qualify for services. If May has any words I can almost guarantee she will not get in. Which is a good thing!

Muppet, I wouldn't worry too much. He's gonna get there.

True that. Jameson barely squeaked into qualifying and he was a FULL year behind in speech. They need to either have a 33% delay in one area (Jameson's was an expressive speech delay of 35%) or 25% delays in more than one area to qualify here (such as cognitive awareness and physical milestones).

Huh. Well, I am hoping May doesn't qualify, but my friend has a son who is 17 months and has the same number of words as May (and follows directions, etc...) but he did qualify and she urged me to have May evaluated. FWIW, the thing that worries me with May is that she used to say her words a lot, but now rarely does and used to babble, but now rarely does. That was more behind me having her evaluated than the fact that she didn't have many words. I was afraid that if she was losing skills, that something might be wrong. But now, she actually added a word or two this week (after adding NO words since 10 months), so i have a feeling we will end up not qualifying, which, again, I would be happy about. The evaluation is more to ease my mind.

[TrudyCampbell]

Sept 1, 2013 14:02:12 GMT -5 jsillyfun said:

Sept 1, 2013 13:57:36 GMT -5 fusion said:

True that. Jameson barely squeaked into qualifying and he was a FULL year behind in speech. They need to either have a 33% delay in one area (Jameson's was an expressive speech delay of 35%) or 25% delays in more than one area to qualify here (such as cognitive awareness and physical milestones).

Huh. Well, I am hoping May doesn't qualify, but my friend has a son who is 17 months and has the same number of words as May (and follows directions, etc...) but he did qualify and she urged me to have May evaluated. FWIW, the thing that worries me with May is that she used to say her words a lot, but now rarely does and used to babble, but now rarely does. That was more behind me having her evaluated than the fact that she didn't have many words. I was afraid that if she was losing skills, that something might be wrong. But now, she actually added a word or two this week (after adding NO words since 10 months), so i have a feeling we will end up not qualifying, which, again, I would be happy about. The evaluation is more to ease my mind.

I would assume your friend's child has other things going on that maybe you aren't aware of?? It doesn't seem like May is behind at all. If she had even one word at 10m, that's incredible! If the evaluation is to ease your mind I'm pretty sure it will do just that! It sounds like she's doing great.

[eav2c]

Sept 1, 2013 13:08:56 GMT -5 jsillyfun said:

I am going to disagree with the others and say that you should have him evaluated. The worst that would happen is they would say he doesn't need EI, right? And that would reassure you. Otherwise, he might benefit from EI. I am having May evaluated and she does all the stuff on that list, except she doesn't have many words. I don't think there is reason to freak out at all. He will likely get there on his own soon (and so will May, I think), but I don't see the harm in getting them a little extra help if they would benefit from it.

Honestly, qualifying is not that easy. You need to be delayed in two areas or have a specific medical diagnosis to qualify. Colin was delayed in one area but that alone did not qaulify him even though he was significantly delayed. It was his actual medical diagnosis of epilepsy that qualified him. That said, at least here in TN you can only be evaluated every few months if you dont qualify which is my reasoning for saying wait a month or a bit longer as I think a month or so could actually make a difference.

[laurack]

I really don't think if a child does everything on the list and only has a "few words" that they will qualify, or even that it makes any sense to have an evaluation?

I'm just thinking that if everybody starts having their kids evaluated even when they DO meet all milestones it could clog up the system and make for a longer wait time for those with children who do have delays?