Can I make fun of my husband just one more time? Okay thanks
Okay so he has allergies this week. He had an allergy attack on Sunday. He cleaned the cat litter box, cleaned around it and then vacuumed our carpet. Then he didn't shower. He is very allergic to cats. Cool you are probably having a reaction to that, right?
Well he had a V 4 weeks ago and now he is convinced he is having an allergic reaction to his body reabsorbing the sperm. There is a very rare chance this can happen, so clearly this is what is going on with him. Not the proven thing that he is allergic too.
My H thought he was coming down with a cold right before I went in for my induction. I'm nearly 40 weeks pregnant, on bed rest, with blood pressure hovering right around the 170/110 mark. He's in the bathroom splashing cold water on his face yelling, "fight it! FIGHT IT!" and intermittently moaning.
I actually laughed though because I thought he was just trying to entertain me. Turns out he was serious. He'll still say stuff like, "remember when I fought off that cold for the baby?"
And now we move to the portion of the post where we discuss how talking about "man colds" is unfair gender stereotyping and how wonderfully OUR husbands handle illness.
And now we move to the portion of the post where we discuss how talking about "man colds" is unfair gender stereotyping and how wonderfully OUR husbands handle illness.
Can I make fun of my husband just one more time? Okay thanks
Okay so he has allergies this week. He had an allergy attack on Sunday. He cleaned the cat litter box, cleaned around it and then vacuumed our carpet. Then he didn't shower. He is very allergic to cats. Cool you are probably having a reaction to that, right?
Well he had a V 4 weeks ago and now he is convinced he is having an allergic reaction to his body reabsorbing the sperm. There is a very rare chance this can happen, so clearly this is what is going on with him. Not the proven thing that he is allergic too.
I'm the one that acts like the world is falling down around me when I'm sick. My husband is the one who is all "it's just a cold, I'm fine" but I over react FOR him when he's sick. "You neeeeeed soup!" "why are you going into work, you never take off, it's just one night." Lol.
I did, however, bring it up to man cold level about my period this week. Mainly because I didn't want to go to the fair and wanted him to go by himself.
I think it is interesting how many people talk about how they are opposite than their spouse on this subject.
I am probably going to die of cancer someday because I was just like "Meh it is fine." I do not freak out about illness at all.
H is the opposite. So the good news is we even each other out. I convince him he is not allergic to his own sperm and he hopefully will convince me to go to the doctor when I chop my hand off someday.
“Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make it so, right in the middle of it lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce.” - Natalie Goldberg
I think it is interesting how many people talk about how they are opposite than their spouse on this subject.
I am probably going to die of cancer someday because I was just like "Meh it is fine." I do not freak out about illness at all.
H is the opposite. So the good news is we even each other out. I convince him he is not allergic to his own sperm and he hopefully will convince me to go to the doctor when I chop my hand off someday.
OMG! I think you're my husband, lol.
I guess a lot of us are opposites on this subject.
Before I had David, I'd get sick mmmmmmaybe once every other year. Now, especially since he's started preschool a couple of years ago, we all get sick at least 2-3 times a year. The Fall is the worst time for us.
My husband is currently dying from ebola. It is pretty serious.
In all reality, he is having some weird allergy thing. BUT OMG if I have to listen to him talk about his symtoms 24/7 anymore I am locking him in the basement.
He also keeps trying to come onto me, because obviously he is well enough for sex, but I can't figure out a way to say this without coming across as a witch "If I didn't have to hear about your weird shin pain/thumb swelling/itchy skin (all unrelated but talked about in depth) in detail etc etc etc all the fucking time maybe I would feel in the mood to sleep with you."
As you can tell my husband is driving me nuts at present.
OMG word for word what happens when my H is "sick".
It is simply impossible for him to have caught the bug I just had (and yes, I'll accept blame for giving it to him: anything to shut him up!) and the whole entire city had/has/is about to have. It clearly must be some mysterious disease no one has ever suffered with.
And if the dr tells him it is indeed whatever the bug du jour is, well, he's obviously affected by it a lot more than I ever was.
There should be a service where you can drop off your sick husband for the week and other people have to listen to him and make him soup.
My h sucks when he's sick. Right now he has one swollen tonsil and he's all "colddd fx pleasssee". No. Get up.
I do remember one time when I was approximately 8000 month pregnant (ok, like 38 weeks) and I had a stomach bug. H was oot and omg. I think I just kind of threw the iPad in Sofia's general direction and crawled under the covers. Whatever. It was either that, or puke on her.
There is nothing I miss more from my pre kid life than a good old fashioned sick day. Laying on the couch watching TV, with ginger ale, soup and maybe some ice cream for a sore throat.
My Mom watches my son at MY HOUSE. Meaning I never get a sick moment. If I am home and the kid is there I had BETTER be parenting or else I face the wrath of SUPER MARTYR GRANDMA.
On the weekends DH just cannot HANDLE watching DS alone because he has to POOP. Literally I was in bed sick once, and DH had to POOP for a half an hour and couldn't watch DS.
So work is a lot more relaxing for me than sick days. LOL.
All I will add is that the only night in their lives that both my kids slept simultaneously for 8 hours was the night I was up every hour puking my guts out from food poisoning. Fuckers.
There is nothing I miss more from my pre kid life than a good old fashioned sick day. Laying on the couch watching TV, with ginger ale, soup and maybe some ice cream for a sore throat.
My Mom watches my son at MY HOUSE. Meaning I never get a sick moment. If I am home and the kid is there I had BETTER be parenting or else I face the wrath of SUPER MARTYR GRANDMA.
On the weekends DH just cannot HANDLE watching DS alone because he has to POOP. Literally I was in bed sick once, and DH had to POOP for a half an hour and couldn't watch DS.
So work is a lot more relaxing for me than sick days. LOL.
I was a leeeetle bit sick, more like just "feeling off", a couple of weeks ago. I called my mom and played up the dramatics- she came over and watched L so I could nap all morning. GLORIOUS.
When I was sick a few weeks ago (and the sickest I've been in years!) I wanted to kill H because apparently he was soooo sick too. Just let me have this time to be sick, fucker, without a one-upping competition.
And I wished there was such a thing as drop-in daycare. My mom and MIL helped a little and H took DS to work with him a few days, but he couldn't completely take off. I was a shitty, shitty mom for a few days.
Ditto!! But....in some areas and some centers, there is drop in daycare!
There is nothing I miss more from my pre kid life than a good old fashioned sick day. Laying on the couch watching TV, with ginger ale, soup and maybe some ice cream for a sore throat.
My Mom watches my son at MY HOUSE. Meaning I never get a sick moment. If I am home and the kid is there I had BETTER be parenting or else I face the wrath of SUPER MARTYR GRANDMA.
On the weekends DH just cannot HANDLE watching DS alone because he has to POOP. Literally I was in bed sick once, and DH had to POOP for a half an hour and couldn't watch DS.
So work is a lot more relaxing for me than sick days. LOL.
This weekend I almost smothered DH for something similar. I routinely cook dinner with a fussy clingy (separation anxiety stage) baby. I asked DH to take over so I could do something and he said "I can't, I'm googling something"
Um...what? Well technically he said he was looking up the parts he needs to do some car maintenance but WTF. I told him I routinely have a fussy whiney DS when doing much much more than googling. That's when he pulled out the "well you're just better at this than I am, I can't do all the things you do". Someone must have erroneously told him this will earn brownie points because he's been pulling that one a lot. I sat DS inside the bedroom, closed the door and went downstairs. I might have muttered a "fuck that shit" on my way down the stairs.
It has nothing to do with luxury or falling apart. It's about putting your own well being first. It's dick to say that someone doesn't understand that unless they're a SAHM, or even a Mom, or a Mom of two or whatever.
If your H can't keep your kids away from you for a few hours, and you feel guilty allowing it, that's an entirely separate problem.
Amen.
The last time I got sick I was sent home with the instruction "If you feel worse at all, call 911 immediately." My ass was planted on the couch for the better part of two weeks recuperating, while H handled everything else including keeping our toddler occupied and explaining to her that mommy needed to rest.
My H thought he was coming down with a cold right before I went in for my induction. I'm nearly 40 weeks pregnant, on bed rest, with blood pressure hovering right around the 170/110 mark. He's in the bathroom splashing cold water on his face yelling, "fight it! FIGHT IT!" and intermittently moaning.
I actually laughed though because I thought he was just trying to entertain me. Turns out he was serious. He'll still say stuff like, "remember when I fought off that cold for the baby?"
Lolol!!
Totally sounds like my h
I think I've said this before, but he will tell anyone who'll listen that he gets the flu every year, yet I've known him 14 years and I've never known him to have or seen him with the flu
And now we move to the portion of the post where we discuss how talking about "man colds" is unfair gender stereotyping and how wonderfully OUR husbands handle illness.