A work opportunity was presented to me today, and I'm swinging between being unbelievably excited and completely frightened.
Basically, it's my dream job (except likely shitty pay). It would be full time, and I would start very soon. The office had amazing retention and happy workers - I know because I've volunteered there for years.
I love spending my days with C, and I would miss him so much, but I also really miss working. I want to feel like I'm using my brain (and justify the massive $$$ I've paid for school), and have something to talk about other than my kid. Work used to be a huge part of my identity, and I miss that side of me.
OTOH, I've cultivated an excellent network of SAHFriends, and C and I have so much fun every day going to the zoo, parks, museums, playdates, etc. I love seeing him interact with his friends, discover new things, and just be his adorable self, and I'm scared of how much I'd miss. I'm hardly ever away from him, so the abrupt transition would be really hard.
The pay is really not a factor because it will mostly be eaten up by childcare and taxes.
Without making this into a SAHM/working mom battleground (pretty please), what should I do? Working moms, if money weren't a factor, would you still work? SAHM, would you go back if the job were right? Has anyone switched between the two?
DH is on a flight right now, so I can't pick his brain about it, and I'm sort of FREAKING THE FUCK OUT!!! Thank you guys for being my sounding board.
Penis-shaped cookies for anyone who read this far!
I had to make this decision recently and I decided for the perfect job I would go back to work but not just any job. Money wasn't an issue but I was getting bored staying home and he was requiring a lot right now. Add a few temper tantrums a day in and I was ready I started back today! I will miss my stay at home network but I will still keep in touch
I had to make this decision recently and I decided for the perfect job I would go back to work but not just any job. Money wasn't an issue but I was getting bored staying home and he was requiring a lot right now. Add a few temper tantrums a day in and I was ready I started back today! I will miss my stay at home network but I will still keep in touch
Would it mean you would be near me on a daily basis?
If I didn't have to work full time, I would not but I would need to work part time. Being a mom is awesome and I love being with my kids but I need work in order to feel more productive.
It would My next move was to email you about daycare recs in your area.
If I found the most perfect job in my career and it worked perfectly with hours and everything, if the pay was shitty, I would probably take it. I love Wy, I love staying at home, but I miss my work life.
I SAH but as Jamie mentioned, I would absolutely take it if it was a dream job. What is the worst that can happen? You take it, realize you hate it, and quit. If you don't take it, would you think what if or have regret for not at least giving it a shot?
I truly love SAH but I do feel like there might be a missing component in my life at times. That said, I do not have SAH friends or a lot to do locally so it doesn't help. How long do you have to decide? Congratulations on the offer.
I know how much you love being a lawyer, nerd face, so I would take it. Carter is awesome and he'll have a great time in daycare with other kids, so I wouldn't worry about that aspect.
I really like being a working mom though sometimes I wish I could work part time. I miss G during the day, and it's also hectic at times, but I enjoy my job too -- it's a good balance for me. We could probably swing me staying at home, but it would be much tighter.
For me, one issue was my ability to jump back into the workforce eventually. I was/am afraid that if I took a prolonged break from engineering I would have a rough time getting rehired. I knew that I would want to work while G was in school so I choose to work now too.
Post by thedahliharpa on Sept 11, 2013 18:15:27 GMT -5
I can't remember if you want more kids. Working full time while DH worked part time for 20mos with one kid and then both full time with one kid was pretty easy. Both of us working, even with me being home part time, with two kids is fucking killing us! I want off this train, we talk about moving some place cheap to stop the madness every day. I highly suggest a nanny. I miss our nanny. I would consider how flexible your hours, schedule, leave will be. If two parents work one or both need to be able to leave at a drop of at, take off for appts, and things like that.
I am not a mother, however I been out of work for over a year. I decided to take some time off to spend with my family who lives out of town. It is so hard to go back when you been out for so long. I sometimes feel scared and nervous like a little kid and I promised myself I would never "voluntarily" take time off.
If I ever have a kid I probably take some weeks maybe months but I don't think Ill take more than that. I like to feel independent and like you mentioned the importance of using your brain. So I would definitely recommend that you go back. Like the other posted said if you don't like it you can always quit since you are lucky that your salary is not needed.
I SAH but as Jamie mentioned, I would absolutely take it if it was a dream job. What is the worst that can happen? You take it, realize you hate it, and quit. If you don't take it, would you think what if or have regret for not at least giving it a shot?
I truly love SAH but I do feel like there might be a missing component in my life at times. That said, I do not have SAH friends or a lot to do locally so it doesn't help. How long do you have to decide? Congratulations on the offer.
I agree with this. You'll always wonder if you don't take it. If this is truly your perfect job... if it's just a job then I say no.
If money wasn't a factor I would still work although only part time. I would want a day or two a week to spend time with my baby. I would also probably do more of a volunteer type job than work where I do now.
I cannot imagine myself as a sahm so I would absolutely work. I need the stimulation and brain time. This summer when school wasn't in session and we were being cheap and not using any childcare was so hard for me because I constantly felt exhausted and frustrated. Thad and I had fun, but we also grumped a lot because I was just waiting for the next event (especially dad coming home time!)
Working isn't really exhausting to me. I am often tired, and always a little scattered, but I feel invigorated. The dishes actually get done more.
I personally wouldn't want to work more than part-time, which is what I do. But I don't ever want to go into the workforce and will only grow my personal company if/when I want to work more. It would be more than my personal sanity could handle to take care of all the house things, both kids and hopefully one or two more kids. But I know you are either 1 and done or waiting longer, so it could be good for you. I think it would depend on hours and room for advancement.
I really like being a working mom though sometimes I wish I could work part time. I miss G during the day, and it's also hectic at times, but I enjoy my job too -- it's a good balance for me. We could probably swing me staying at home, but it would be much tighter.
For me, one issue was my ability to jump back into the workforce eventually. I was/am afraid that if I took a prolonged break from engineering I would have a rough time getting rehired. I knew that I would want to work while G was in school so I choose to work now too.
Congrats on the offer!
Change this from engineer to teacher, and this. Exactly.
I cannot imagine myself as a sahm so I would absolutely work. I need the stimulation and brain time. This summer when school wasn't in session and we were being cheap and not using any childcare was so hard for me because I constantly felt exhausted and frustrated. Thad and I had fun, but we also grumped a lot because I was just waiting for the next event (especially dad coming home time!)
Working isn't really exhausting to me. I am often tired, and always a little scattered, but I feel invigorated. The dishes actually get done more.
I also found I was much more productive when working.
I currently choose to SAH, so I wouldn't ever go back unless it was part time until Ada and a future kid are close to school. It was just too crazy for me. I also think it depends on if you plan on having anymore kids, if not, I personally would consider it. However, the worst thing that can happen is you hate it and quit.
Ditto everyone who said you can always quit if it ends up not being the right fit.
I wouldn't quit my job even if money wasn't an object, I truly enjoy what I do. However that probably is more because my specific work situation. My position has great work/life balance.
Do you want to go back to work after C (and any future children) gets older? I would be worried about your ability to find a job after being out of the workforce for several years. I say this as an attorney who had to leave my job due to moving 1000 miles away for my H's job. It took me 2 years to get back into my desired field (I did have to take a new bar exam) and I was actively searching. I now have a job that I love, but I still feel very behind since it took me so long to get back into this field. I did leave my first job in 2009 which was a terrible time for the legal market, and while the market has improved, I would be concerned that dream opportunities do not show up very frequently.
I will say that my job is not high paying at all and daycare eats up at least half of my take home pay. But for me it is worth it for the benefits and for the ability to stay relevant. If I quit and tried to return in 5 years I really doubt that I would be hired. I have some money hangups, so I would not stay home unless I had money not tied to my H or I had a really good prenup agreement (this is just my own personal issue, it's certainly not a reflection on anyone else).
I'm on team take the job and if it doesn't work out, you can always quit. Good luck to you! Whatever decision you make will be the right one for you and your family.
Post by teamhayes on Sept 11, 2013 22:29:39 GMT -5
Didntread any of the responses but "knowing you" for 7ish yrs I saw give it a try. C will really thrive with other kids and. You will be a better mom using your brain. Naybe you can do pt - best of both worlds
A work opportunity was presented to me today, and I'm swinging between being unbelievably excited and completely frightened.
Basically, it's my dream job (except likely shitty pay). It would be full time, and I would start very soon. The office had amazing retention and happy workers - I know because I've volunteered there for years.
I love spending my days with C, and I would miss him so much, but I also really miss working. I want to feel like I'm using my brain (and justify the massive $$$ I've paid for school), and have something to talk about other than my kid. Work used to be a huge part of my identity, and I miss that side of me.
OTOH, I've cultivated an excellent network of SAHFriends, and C and I have so much fun every day going to the zoo, parks, museums, playdates, etc. I love seeing him interact with his friends, discover new things, and just be his adorable self, and I'm scared of how much I'd miss. I'm hardly ever away from him, so the abrupt transition would be really hard.
The pay is really not a factor because it will mostly be eaten up by childcare and taxes.
Without making this into a SAHM/working mom battleground (pretty please), what should I do? Working moms, if money weren't a factor, would you still work? SAHM, would you go back if the job were right? Has anyone switched between the two?
DH is on a flight right now, so I can't pick his brain about it, and I'm sort of FREAKING THE FUCK OUT!!! Thank you guys for being my sounding board.
Penis-shaped cookies for anyone who read this far!
I only read "penis-shaped cookies."
I think I would still work if money weren't a factor, but maybe not full time. Look, the baby's not going to be a baby forever, and if this is something that could be awesome for you in the long run, I say do it.
I had a chance to go back to work part time but the pay would have mostly been eaten up by Childcare so I decided it wasn't worth it. BUT I didn't love the job. I did love my coworkers and the environment but the work was boring and I would rather spend time with D since I wouldn't be making much money. That's my POV, not saying what you or anyone else chooses is wrong. I think the big difference for you is that you love the work. Is there option for part time?