I feel very ready to wean but I don't know how... And I feel bad for wanting to wean- it's really not that big of a deal to nurse her and usually I don't mind too much. I don't know,I'm obviously so torn. I like that it can get her to calm down before sleep or if she wakes up too early for nap or motn but I just want to be done. I don't love it anymore. The thought of not BFing a next baby has crossed my mind because I just don't want to but I know I will. I feel like crying just writing this. I don't know what my problem is... Major lack of sleep lately I guess. Okay I'm rambling. So I know I can just refuse but she just begs and cries. Distraction works sometimes during awake times but trying to get her to sleep without it is impossible. She doesn't nurse TO sleep but needs to nurse right before sleep. I'm planning on sleep training when her room is done (3-4 weeks) so that will help get rid of motn sessions. But morning, nap, afternoon and bed need help! Also if we're just relaxing watching tv together she wants to nurse- I know it's comforting for her and that's why I feel so bad.
Oh my gosh. Sorry that got so long and Rambly... I'm not going to fixit because she just fell back asleep and I'm going to lay down because I'm tired (see, like right now, she woke up from her nap after 30 min and I just nursed her back to sleep)
Post by EnchantedSoul on Sept 12, 2013 18:00:56 GMT -5
This is me, exactly. I really have no desire to nurse for three years straight. I have no idea how to wean him and it makes me sad because he loves it so much. He only nurses now once after work, nurse to sleep then stay on boob all.night.long.
Everything that I have read seems so harsh. I haven't posted about it here because I feel guilty. The reality is, if I don't wean soon, the next baby will not be breasted. I need a break We can be sad together.
This is me, exactly. I really have no desire to nurse for three years straight. I have no idea how to wean him and it makes me sad because he loves it so much. He only nurses now once after work, nurse to sleep then stay on boob all.night.long.
Everything that I have read seems so harsh. I haven't posted about it here because I feel guilty. The reality is, if I don't wean soon, the next baby will not be breasted. I need a break We can be sad together.
Ugh I'm sorry you're feeling this way too but I'm glad I'm not alone. I almost we deleted my post because I felt dumb.
This is me, exactly. I really have no desire to nurse for three years straight. I have no idea how to wean him and it makes me sad because he loves it so much. He only nurses now once after work, nurse to sleep then stay on boob all.night.long.
Everything that I have read seems so harsh. I haven't posted about it here because I feel guilty. The reality is, if I don't wean soon, the next baby will not be breasted. I need a break We can be sad together.
Ugh I'm sorry you're feeling this way too but I'm glad I'm not alone. I almost we deleted my post because I felt dumb.
Don't feel dumb! You've made it so far with nursing and if you want to be done, that's not stupid at all.
So you know when people ask for advice on what to tell people about when we will finally stop nursing? And one of the responses is when it's right for mom and baby? It sounds like might be right for mom to stop. Ladybug, you've done amazing. I can't even imagine what it must feel like to still be getting up multiple times in the MOTN. If it feels right to stop, it's probably time. A happy healthy mom is so important, and Laney will come around. Sure, it might suck, but the end result will be two happy, thriving people. You know you have the support of everyone here. And, pretty soon ill be available to gtg again, so you can cry and vent or whatever all you need to to me. Hugs!
Don't feel dumb or bad about it! I weaned Ada at 13 months because I was just done and wanted to focus on the health of myself for awhile before we had another kid.
I weaned for nighttime by giving her a bottle with milk, I know you aren't supposed to but it worked wonders. I also planned several days where we were really busy so she was distracted and not thinking about it. She fussed for probably 3-4 days about it. I realized the recliner and boppy were triggers for her so I removed the boppy and refrained from sitting in the recliner.
Good luck, you have to do what is best for you and if that weaning it is okay.
Post by Faevantastic on Sept 12, 2013 18:29:39 GMT -5
I'm working on weaning this week. So far we've cut down to one to two sessions a day. With DH's help, we try to distract him as much as we can. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. It's not easy. My boob hurts and it means getting up earlier than we'd like. He woke up at 5AM this morning. It was so tempting to bring him to our bed and nurse him back to sleep like we always do, but we stayed strong.
I know how you feel though. I feel guilty about weaning because I know he loves it and it comforts him. But I really need the break between now and May before the new baby comes. I need it for my own sanity.
Post by TrudyCampbell on Sept 12, 2013 18:32:11 GMT -5
I'm sorry, Ladybug. I would feel the same way as you if I was still nursing. Violet never once "asked" to nurse so it was really easy to wean her... it was way harder on me than her, she seriously didn't seem to notice at all. I always think when I read threads from those who are still nursing that I don't think I could do what you guys do- so much dedication! You should be really proud that you've nursed her this long, it is truly an amazing accomplishment and I really admire it. I have no advice in terms of weaning but I hope you guys figure something out. If you aren't enjoying it anymore then I think it's time.
Ours was a little easier because I cut back a lot when I headed back to work. We were doing morning, nap and before bed over the summer. Maybe another session in there somewhere. When I went back to work I cut out the morning, the day ones were out because I was gone, so it was just the before bed one. We did before bed only for a few weeks. Then, I lucked out because we were out of town and her schedule was off.
I would try to cut back a session at a time. I would also get rid of anything that may remind her of nursing, like a boppy if you use one. When we got back from vacation, the second she saw the boppy, she asked. After that session, we put the boppy away. She's only asked once since then.
It sucks. I wasn't ready...but really, I was. It still sucks though. She got over it pretty quickly. My hormones suck hard core right now though after 1.5 weeks.
Ours was a little easier because I cut back a lot when I headed back to work. We were doing morning, nap and before bed over the summer. Maybe another session in there somewhere. When I went back to work I cut out the morning, the day ones were out because I was gone, so it was just the before bed one. We did before bed only for a few weeks. Then, I lucked out because we were out of town and her schedule was off.
I would try to cut back a session at a time. I would also get rid of anything that may remind her of nursing, like a boppy if you use one. When we got back from vacation, the second she saw the boppy, she asked. After that session, we put the boppy away. She's only asked once since then.
It sucks. I wasn't ready...but really, I was. It still sucks though. She got over it pretty quickly. My hormones suck hard core right now though after 1.5 weeks.
Yeah, don't feel bad. I was adamant that I would get a break between nursing A and being pregnant with the next one. The almost 4 years of pregnancy and breastfeeding was hard on me. And I've never been a puppies and rainbows breastfeeder. I do it because it is free, it is easy for me to do and I SAH most of the time.
Post by skiesthelimit on Sept 12, 2013 18:56:34 GMT -5
I'm sorry ladybug, I know it's not easy. I'm having a lot of cramping, especailly while BFing so I've tried to cut out the after work/daycare session and it's not working. He screams and cries and begs to nurse. He literally throws himself down to his knees and cries asking and signing for milk. It breaks my heart. I have no idea what to do either. He's obviously not ready to wean but I'm scared it's harming my pregnancy. He loves to comfort nurse as well so like today after work he nursed for almost 20 minutes and would have kept going if I let him. I had to distract him with the cat.
What you are feeling is totally normal and you made it so far you should be proud of yourself. You're not alone!
Post by jsillyfun on Sept 12, 2013 18:59:22 GMT -5
I have heard of a couple of gentler techniques: one is "don't offer, don't refuse." A variation on that is to refuse 5 times for every time you give in. Another is to count to 10 and tell them you'll be done at 10. At first, count to 10 really slowly so it takes like 10 min, work up to the session only lasting like a minute. Hope that helps a little!
You've done a fantastic job! Don't feel guilty! I've always said that I'll breastfeed for as long as Sadie and I enjoy it. If you aren't enjoying it any more, then it's perfectly fine to wean. Kellymom seems to have some good advice: kellymom.com/ages/weaning/wean-how/weaning-techniques/
Post by formerlyllizzyb on Sept 12, 2013 19:08:45 GMT -5
I had such mixed feelings about weaning at 15 months. Lots of guilt and sadness, but also relief and freedom. 48 hours after our "last" nursing session I felt like he needed to nurse so we nursed That ended up being the last time.
I was a basketcase about it for about 7-10 days and then all was well. I am very glad we're not nursing anymore. It was time.
I completely understand and relate. In fact, I don't know that I will EBF #2. I have a love/hate relationship with nursing. C needs it to nap or go to bed but he's so RUDE about nursing these days that it makes me upset. He doesn't seem totally ready to wean and truth be told, I'm emotionally attached to it. It is truly bittersweet. I wish I could provide advice but I'm not sure where to start as I am lost with it myself.
Post by carawestt on Sept 12, 2013 20:00:04 GMT -5
I'm sorry you're feeling like this, K, but you don't have anything to feel guilty about. You've made it almost 18 months and that's amazing! I know D is still reliant on it but if you're not loving it anymore, you deserve to stop. I obviously haven't weaned but I did somewhat encourage Lincoln to cut down his nursing sessions to a few times a day, so if you need advice you can always text me.
I completely understand and relate. In fact, I don't know that I will EBF #2. I have a love/hate relationship with nursing. C needs it to nap or go to bed but he's so RUDE about nursing these days that it makes me upset. He doesn't seem totally ready to wean and truth be told, I'm emotionally attached to it. It is truly bittersweet. I wish I could provide advice but I'm not sure where to start as I am lost with it myself.
I feel the same way Brady has to have it for sleep I've been ready but I give in to easily and he is with me 24/7 so I can't use the work excuse
I'm feeling the same way you are right now and it is really hard. I feel so worn out and tired. I think sometimes that he could be ready and I'll try to refuse or distract him and he gets really upset and even violent sometimes. It's really distressing. Like this morning after he had been attached to me all night, I told him no more milk right now, he straight up started to hit me in the head. I turned away from him and tried to get Alex to comfort him but he was so upset about it. It's mostly the middle of the night that I need to curb. During the day he barely asks a d its super easy to get him focused on something else. I just don't know what to do either. I'm ready to be done and the longer I continue the more I start to feel worn, guilty and resentful. It sucks, literally! I find that if I nurse a bit before bed and offer a bottle at his first wake up he's easier to calm and will sleep longer. He still wakes 3/5 times a night though. I've also started using the sound machine on the twinkle twinkle little star song and he's started to associate that with bedtime. If he gets angry I hold his hand and sing to him and he will calm a bit. We are also transitioning him into a twin bed in his room and hopefully ending bed sharing will help us all get more sleep.
Post by charmediamsure on Sept 12, 2013 22:29:16 GMT -5
I've had mixed thoughts about it as well. Don't feel bad! I have Jack completely off MOTN feeds. The only time he nurses now is right before bed and I unlatch him so he falls asleep without it. He gets a little ticked but accepts it really well now. The thing is that I know I could stop with the nursing before sleep and he would adjust quickly, but it is me that can't let it go yet. I want to be finished with nursing, but part of me feels guilty. And we both shouldn't feel guilty, but I can't help feeling that way either.
Soooo I have no advice, but I understand how you feel. Hugs.
I feel very ready to wean but I don't know how... And I feel bad for wanting to wean- it's really not that big of a deal to nurse her and usually I don't mind too much. I don't know,I'm obviously so torn. I like that it can get her to calm down before sleep or if she wakes up too early for nap or motn but I just want to be done. I don't love it anymore. The thought of not BFing a next baby has crossed my mind because I just don't want to but I know I will. I feel like crying just writing this. I don't know what my problem is... Major lack of sleep lately I guess. Okay I'm rambling. So I know I can just refuse but she just begs and cries. Distraction works sometimes during awake times but trying to get her to sleep without it is impossible. She doesn't nurse TO sleep but needs to nurse right before sleep. I'm planning on sleep training when her room is done (3-4 weeks) so that will help get rid of motn sessions. But morning, nap, afternoon and bed need help! Also if we're just relaxing watching tv together she wants to nurse- I know it's comforting for her and that's why I feel so bad.
Oh my gosh. Sorry that got so long and Rambly... I'm not going to fixit because she just fell back asleep and I'm going to lay down because I'm tired (see, like right now, she woke up from her nap after 30 min and I just nursed her back to sleep)
I am kind of in this boat, too. I am so sick of nursing.
Post by creamsiclechica on Sept 12, 2013 22:44:58 GMT -5
Ladybug, you should be so proud!! You've done amazing for D, and you've gone a long time. I feel like there's guilt no matter what, that you could always go longer when it's not causing a problem, etc. But there's no reason for that, truly. It's a hard and emotional transition, even if you want to, and that's perfectly normal and okay. I'm not recommending you necessarily go cold turkey like we had to, but I was SO afraid of how A was going to react with weaning because she seemed so dependent on it too, but he has honestly done SO much better than I ever expected. It's been harder on me than her. She got upset a handful of times the first and second day. And that was it. I was floored. So I think what I'm tying to say is if you are ready, D might just go ahead and surprise you by doing better with it than you think right now. Ad you have nothing to feel guilty about. You've given her so much, it's a huge accomplishment for both of you.
Ladybug, you should be so proud!! You've done amazing for D, and you've gone a long time. I feel like there's guilt no matter what, that you could always go longer when it's not causing a problem, etc. But there's no reason for that, truly. It's a hard and emotional transition, even if you want to, and that's perfectly normal and okay. I'm not recommending you necessarily go cold turkey like we had to, but I was SO afraid of how A was going to react with weaning because she seemed so dependent on it too, but he has honestly done SO much better than I ever expected. It's been harder on me than her. She got upset a handful of times the first and second day. And that was it. I was floored. So I think what I'm tying to say is if you are ready, D might just go ahead and surprise you by doing better with it than you think right now. Ad you have nothing to feel guilty about. You've given her so much, it's a huge accomplishment for both of you.
I've been wondering if you could pick up where you left off with her nursing after the baby's born. Is that something people do? Or is that an insane thought?
I think it might be insane. But I am also very tired.
Ladybug, you should be so proud!! You've done amazing for D, and you've gone a long time. I feel like there's guilt no matter what, that you could always go longer when it's not causing a problem, etc. But there's no reason for that, truly. It's a hard and emotional transition, even if you want to, and that's perfectly normal and okay. I'm not recommending you necessarily go cold turkey like we had to, but I was SO afraid of how A was going to react with weaning because she seemed so dependent on it too, but he has honestly done SO much better than I ever expected. It's been harder on me than her. She got upset a handful of times the first and second day. And that was it. I was floored. So I think what I'm tying to say is if you are ready, D might just go ahead and surprise you by doing better with it than you think right now. Ad you have nothing to feel guilty about. You've given her so much, it's a huge accomplishment for both of you.
I've been wondering if you could pick up where you left off with her nursing after the baby's born. Is that something people do? Or is that an insane thought?
I think it might be insane. But I am also very tired.
I have been wondering about it and I'm thinking I'll let her lead. And see if I get too overwhelmed if she does. Kellymom says that some toddlers who have weaned will take an interest in restarting a nursing relationship after a new baby, and that you can foster it if you're interested. So I'm going to play it by ear. I'm still having a hard time with weaning, but it's getting better day by day.
Ladybug, you should be so proud!! You've done amazing for D, and you've gone a long time. I feel like there's guilt no matter what, that you could always go longer when it's not causing a problem, etc. But there's no reason for that, truly. It's a hard and emotional transition, even if you want to, and that's perfectly normal and okay. I'm not recommending you necessarily go cold turkey like we had to, but I was SO afraid of how A was going to react with weaning because she seemed so dependent on it too, but he has honestly done SO much better than I ever expected. It's been harder on me than her. She got upset a handful of times the first and second day. And that was it. I was floored. So I think what I'm tying to say is if you are ready, D might just go ahead and surprise you by doing better with it than you think right now. Ad you have nothing to feel guilty about. You've given her so much, it's a huge accomplishment for both of you.
I've been wondering if you could pick up where you left off with her nursing after the baby's born. Is that something people do? Or is that an insane thought?
I think it might be insane. But I am also very tired.
It's not insane. I've heard of already weaned toddlers wanting to nurse again when they see baby doing it and it becomes a tandem nursing situation!
I've been wondering if you could pick up where you left off with her nursing after the baby's born. Is that something people do? Or is that an insane thought?
I think it might be insane. But I am also very tired.
I have been wondering about it and I'm thinking I'll let her lead. And see if I get too overwhelmed if she does. Kellymom says that some toddlers who have weaned will take an interest in restarting a nursing relationship after a new baby, and that you can foster it if you're interested. So I'm going to play it by ear. I'm still having a hard time with weaning, but it's getting better day by day.
That's a great plan! Thanks for the advice/encouragement! I'm sorry it's rough for you! How is C doing? What's going on with labor/contractions?
I have been wondering about it and I'm thinking I'll let her lead. And see if I get too overwhelmed if she does. Kellymom says that some toddlers who have weaned will take an interest in restarting a nursing relationship after a new baby, and that you can foster it if you're interested. So I'm going to play it by ear. I'm still having a hard time with weaning, but it's getting better day by day.
That's a great plan! Thanks for the advice/encouragement! I'm sorry it's rough for you! How is C doing? What's going on with labor/contractions?
Of course, I think you've done an amazing job! Especially with the MOTN this whole time!
I go for a checkup tomorrow afternoon. I've had some contractions this week, but nothing constant enough to go to labor and delivery, thank goodness! I'm hoping I haven't thinned further or started dilating yet, so we'll see tomorrow Thanks for asking!
That's a great plan! Thanks for the advice/encouragement! I'm sorry it's rough for you! How is C doing? What's going on with labor/contractions?
Of course, I think you've done an amazing job! Especially with the MOTN this whole time!
I go for a checkup tomorrow afternoon. I've had some contractions this week, but nothing constant enough to go to labor and delivery, thank goodness! I'm hoping I haven't thinned further or started dilating yet, so we'll see tomorrow Thanks for asking!