S/O weddings...Poll

[mandimija]

So, my little shoegate got me to thinking...what would you/do you want in your next wedding?/What would you have done differently if you had to do it all over again.

When I got married the first time, I did the formal church wedding, large guest list, organ music, you get the picture. I'm not really in to huge affairs, but XH and I both had large families and friend circles, my family wanted to have a large wedding (I'm an only girl) and I was more or less indifferent to the wedding trappings, so I just let people have their fun. I think I had three 'fit/put-my-foot-down moments': The ceremony would be Catholic, my little cousin (12 at the time and a junior bridesmaid) would *not* be wearing a strapless dress, and there would be no arch at the front of the church. After that, I did not care. It was fun, beautiful, and I loved it. Everyone enjoyed themselves, and that made me happy.

As we watch my friend plan her huge formal wedding, BF asked what I'd want should we get to that stage. He seemed relieved when, after thinking about it for a moment, I told him I wanted an informal thing in one of the area parks, with the guys in khakis and some kind of collared shirt (no ties please), me in a sundress/breezy tea length number with an orchid in my hair, and no more than 50 people total. Actually, that's being generous. Ideally, no more than 25. Maybe a MOH and best man, and my dad's best friend officiating (Dad officiated for his best friend's daughter, and said best friend is like a second dad to me). Add in some good, yet simple food, acoustic guitar music, and a few decent pictures, and I'm happy. Neither BF nor I like huge shindigs, nor being the center of attention. Though I know that's inevitable with a wedding, at least we could lower the formality of it and perhaps mitigate it a bit.

[bookworm]

I don't have any regrets at my wedding and wouldn't really do anything over if I had a choice. I had a pretty typical wedding with lots of dancing and fun even though it was somewhat formal. We had a great time.

If I get married again I won't mind a ceremony in a nice location with just the 2 of us. Not that I wouldn't mind a big party again, but I don't have that kind of money lol.

[doriswe]

I've been married twice (judge away bitches!!). The first time we went to Vegas, just the two of us. The second time it was us, our kids and our immediate families.

IFFFFF I were to get married again, I would like something small at my church.

That's about as much thought as I put into this topic

[gozf]

I loved my big church wedding, my puffy dress and my country club reception. But the second time around? Garden party with really yummy food, great craft beers, some wine and a handful of friends and family. Nothing big.

[hobs209]

Well Tom and I never got married... but I don't care about weddings. Destination wedding is probably as "grand" as I'd go, but I'm cool with the JOP or a Vegas elopement too

[doriswe]

Jun 21, 2012 21:45:47 GMT -5 gozf said:

I loved my big church wedding, my puffy dress and my country club reception. But the second time around? Garden party with really yummy food, great craft beers, some wine and a handful of friends and family. Nothing big.

Don't take this the wrong way, but I would have NEVER pictured you with all the traditional wedding stuff....not in a bad way, I swear!

[BookLover]

Jun 21, 2012 21:46:55 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Jun 21, 2012 21:45:47 GMT -5 gozf said:

I loved my big church wedding, my puffy dress and my country club reception. But the second time around? Garden party with really yummy food, great craft beers, some wine and a handful of friends and family. Nothing big.

Don't take this the wrong way, but I would have NEVER pictured you with all the traditional wedding stuff....not in a bad way, I swear!

Agreed. Not in a bad way. You've always come across GOZF as someone who would do something else.

[BookLover]

My wedding, it was traditional, limited budget, so it was small. Had it at a little church and had the reception there too. It was nice. A lot of talking and food. It was also planned in 2 months.

If there is a next time, I want to do something fun. Maybe Vegas or a destination wedding. I don't know. I don't want any pressure.

[doriswe]

Jun 21, 2012 21:52:22 GMT -5 inara said:

sigh... I would love to have a wedding. Too bad about that whole marriage part.

Lol...I'd love to have a marriage but not a wedding!!

[hobs209]

Jun 21, 2012 21:58:06 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Jun 21, 2012 21:52:22 GMT -5 inara said:

sigh... I would love to have a wedding. Too bad about that whole marriage part.

Lol...I'd love to have a marriage but not a wedding!!

Haha, same here. Weddings are cool and all, but wayyy too much money for one night. I'd rather just go to Bora Bora for a couple of weeks and skip all the hassles :-P

[letyourselfgo]

When I married my ex, I did not like the wedding....it wasn't at all what I wanted. That's what happens when you're young, broke, and having the guy wanting us to hurry up and tie the knot before I started to show.

If things go that way and a Mr. and I decide to tie the knot.....I definitely would love celebrating the beginning of a new family with a big, white wedding. There is this wedding dress pattern that has been out since at least 2006, and if I hadn't been pregnant when I married the Ex, I'd have had it made. In the six years since.....no other dress compares, and part of me wants to go to Jo-Ann's and buy that pattern for .99 during one of their sales......because six years is an awfully long while to have the same pattern around, and I'm a bit concerned that they'll discontinue it relatively soon.

[BookLover]

Jun 21, 2012 22:01:23 GMT -5 hobs209 said:

Jun 21, 2012 21:58:06 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Lol...I'd love to have a marriage but not a wedding!!

Haha, same here. Weddings are cool and all, but wayyy too much money for one night. I'd rather just go to Bora Bora for a couple of weeks and skip all the hassles :-P

Thinking about it that way...I much rather have a vacation by myself to an awesome place, no wedding and no marriage! Win/win!

[howardandbear]

I can't help but think it would be wrong or selfish to have another big/medium wedding. But the idea of a small wedding or a destination wedding don't do anything for me either.

[bowies]

As most of you know, BF is ring shopping, so we've spent some time discussing it. He's never been married and wants all the traditional elements. I'm happy to give them to him provided the guest list is kept small and the overall feeling is relaxed/casual. So, that's the direction we're headed when it's time. I imagine a blend of Southern and British garden parties. No tuxes, no bouquet or garter toss, just a MOH and Best Man. I will, however, wear a long white dress and refrain from seeing him until I'm walking down the aisle. He told me he's always envisioned his wedding day like that.

[starburst604]

I planned and then cancelled a big 250 guest wedding. BF had the big grand wedding with his first marriage. The idea of planning another big wedding kind of gives me anxiety, though a small part of me kind of wants my pretty princess day that I didn't get to have.

[starburst604]

Sent too soon. I do really love the idea of a destination wedding with just close family and friends. Most likely I would do that although I think I'll get some pushback from those who can't make it either because of kids or financial constrictions.

[roselis]

My first wedding was not that traditional. It was medieval theme so we were all in garb, and about half of our guests wore their garb.
The ceremony was a disaster. It was not what I wanted at all and only lasted 5 minutes once the procession ended (that went wonderfully). I actually cried afterwards it was so bad.
The reception was your traditional reception.

For my next wedding, IF I ever get married again, it will be informal and small. This is also if this is what the groom would want. If he wants traditional, then there will be compromise in there. I would love to go get married at the Renaissance Festival (OH or KY) or at Loveland Castle.

[stephbfan]

I was engaged but never actually got to plan anything as the date had not been set yet. I would never spend so much money in one night.
If I get married, it will be just a few people, yummy food and lots of dancing!

[trafficgirl]

The wedding to my XH was a medium-sized traditional wedding. We got married in the chapel at the Catholic high school he went to (which was a very nice chapel). Then had a reception at a crew house that floated on the water (like a house boat - sounds sporty and dirty but it wasn't).

I wore a big puffy dress that I loved and we had a DJ and cake and first dance and all that stuff. Oh, and I paid for every last thing (save the e-ring) by myself, b/c XH was being his typical asshole self (he wanted a traditional wedding, but didn't want to pay for any of it with "his" money).

Current BF and I have talked quite a bit about weddings - this would be BF's first (and only!) wedding/marriage. We've somewhat settled on getting married next summer. While I haven't planned specifics out, we'd like to do a small ceremony on a Friday night - with just immediate family and one or two of our closest friends, probably on a beach. Then we'd have a reception/celebration up at his parents' house on Saturday.

It would be a casual BBQ type reception, though I think I would like to do a first dance (with an iPod, not a DJ). His brother and SIL did this when they got married 10 or so years ago, so he's betting his parents would be good with letting us do the same.

I wouldn't wear a big white dress though - probably something that looked more like a BM dress, in a light pink color. Maybe cream, depends on what I'd find. I'd do my own makeup and hair, and probably just wear sandals. But I would have a bouquet - I'm willing to pay for the exact bouquet I want.

Hmmm, maybe I have more specifics planned out than I originally thought!

[jojoandleo]

Jun 21, 2012 21:45:47 GMT -5 gozf said:

I loved my big church wedding, my puffy dress and my country club reception. But the second time around? Garden party with really yummy food, great craft beers, some wine and a handful of friends and family. Nothing big.

Pervy Aunt Zelda in a big poofy dress... interesting. I like you more and more. You are fun.

[doriswe]

Jun 22, 2012 9:32:37 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Jun 21, 2012 21:45:47 GMT -5 gozf said:

I loved my big church wedding, my puffy dress and my country club reception. But the second time around? Garden party with really yummy food, great craft beers, some wine and a handful of friends and family. Nothing big.

Pervy Aunt Zelda in a big poofy dress... interesting. I like you more and more. You are fun.

Why do I feel like my pervy Aunt Zelda was acting sort of inappropriate in her big poofy dress?!?

[dakotadangerdog]

I love love loved my wedding. Basically everything minus the groom, and the fact that we had NO dancing! WTF? I love dancing. XH refused to dance. I don't care about the first dance BS, I just want everyone to get drunk and dance and party next time lol.

I got married on the waterfront in Tacoma at a park with a lighthouse, the ceremony was out on the grass, the reception was inside a building right next to the park that overlooked the water. We got super lucky with AMAZING weather. We got some really good pics down on the beach. There was a bunch of wine, a keg of mac and jacks, and BBQ buffet from my favorite bbq place We had about 70 guests which was as small as I could get it, the cake was AMAZING, oh man. It was great.

Next time it totally depends on what my hypothetical husband wants.

[Bernadine]

I loved my wedding, except the pictures were crappy.

For reals, my dream second wedding would be early on a Sunday morning, and the reception would be a tailgate, before a Ravens game. I have the whole thing pictured, lol.

[jade28]

I LOVED my wedding and it was awesome. It was very chill, low key and outdoorsy. It was at a zoo! The colors were beautiful.

The only thing I would change is the fact that I didn't really get to plan a lot of it. My MIL kind of took over and did a fantastic job but I just sort of missed out on all of the planning and joys of being engaged. I also didn't love my wedding dress because I had to be conservative and wear sleeves.

Otherwise, I thoroughly enjoyed the time I had with my family and friends. We danced, ate and had fun. I'd definitely keep the style the same but maybe bring more personalized stuff into the wedding that really tell the story of "us."

[formerlyak]

Since my e-ring has been ordered, bf and I have obviously been discussing it.

Invite list 100 people max (which gets you about 75 at the wedding).
Ceremony in a park near our house that overlooks the beach.
Followed by a dinner party at a restaurant we like within walking distance of said park. They have a private upstairs room for events.
We don't want a rehearsal dinner -- just maybe pick a nice bar and tell people to meet us there the night before the wedding for a drink.
Morning after we will do bagels and deli stuff at our house for an open house type event.

That's all we want. No frills. No fluff. No huge wedding party. No first dance. None of it. BF has never been married, but hates being the center of attention and doesn't want any of that. I have had all that with my first wedding and don't want it again. It works for us.

[blackkitty]

With my first wedding it was just the two of us in Hawaii on a cliff overlooking the ocean. It was perfect for us as a couple. If I ever got married again it would totally depend on what would suit us best as a couple and it's really hard to say what we'd want since there is no "we" yet!

[aliciar6]

my first wedding was a destination wedding in St Thomas, on the beach around sunset. We only had 16 people (immediate family and my best friend)...i went with a ivory wedding gown (Casablanca 1819 i think), he wore slacks and a blue shirt, grooms men wore khacki shorts with blue shirts (each was a different shade of blue) and my bridesmaid and maid of honor just picked a dress they liked, totally not traditional. reception was basically dinner at one of the resorts restaraunts, no dancing or anything.

this time we are getting married outdoors (again) but at a winery (Cherry Valley Winery), will start at 5 PM. I went for a similar gown, but white and more ornate (Sabelle by Maggie Sottero), the venue does everything but flowers, this time we will do a sand ceremony, and have a reception with dancing, we are just using our friend's sound equipment and a playlist i created on itunes. We are trying to keep it to around 75 people.

the groomsmen are wearing black suits, white shirt and a blue camo tie. FI is wearing a black suit, blue shirt and black/gray camo tie. the bridal party all got different dresses in the same color (indigo) from the Jordan line, they all ended up choosing gowns that were chiffon.

[udscoobychick]

I planned (but never went through with) a big wedding with a 250-person guest list (althought probably only 150 would have showed because it was OOT for 90% of them), a Catholic ceremony (full Mass), and a winery reception. Fall harvest theme for the decor and food. Sit-down plated dinner. It was what I wanted.

I still have the dress, and I WILL wear it. I hated dress shopping, so I'm not going through that again. I will wear heels this time! XFI was only 1" taller than me, so I bought wedding flats. I will be wearing some kickass heels for this one! Assuming it's with BF, there will need to be a big dance floor and lots of dancing, since that's how we met! Probably a smaller guest list, since we'd likely be paying for it ourselves. Just use an iPod playlist. Civil ceremony, since BF is a divorced atheist. Screw flowers. I would focus on making sure the food and drink are fantastic and that it's fun. I had a dream once that I was having a Mardi Gras-themed wedding, and it was awesome in my dream, so maybe we'll go with that.

[mandimija]

Dude, Mardi Gras is the awesome (says the new Louisiana girl). I had my first one last year, complete with wandering around the Quarter and catching entirely too many beads (My friend and I kept to a relatively sane/family oriented area during the parade. No boobies).

A Mardi Gras wedding (or just a Mardi Gras party in general) would be so much fun!

[liubotflittyfud]

Jun 22, 2012 10:50:35 GMT -5 aliciar6 said:

my first wedding was a destination wedding in St Thomas, on the beach around sunset. We only had 16 people (immediate family and my best friend)...i went with a ivory wedding gown (Casablanca 1819 i think), he wore slacks and a blue shirt, grooms men wore khacki shorts with blue shirts (each was a different shade of blue) and my bridesmaid and maid of honor just picked a dress they liked, totally not traditional. reception was basically dinner at one of the resorts restaraunts, no dancing or anything.

this time we are getting married outdoors (again) but at a winery (Cherry Valley Winery), will start at 5 PM. I went for a similar gown, but white and more ornate (Sabelle by Maggie Sottero), the venue does everything but flowers, this time we will do a sand ceremony, and have a reception with dancing, we are just using our friend's sound equipment and a playlist i created on itunes. We are trying to keep it to around 75 people.

the groomsmen are wearing black suits, white shirt and a blue camo tie. FI is wearing a black suit, blue shirt and black/gray camo tie. the bridal party all got different dresses in the same color (indigo) from the Jordan line, they all ended up choosing gowns that were chiffon.

In Saylorsburg? It's beautiful there.