Okay, but being paranoid isn't good either. Your paranoia is triggered by something.....
I don't think this is necessarily true. To me paranoia is based on irrational fears and doesn't necessarily reflect reality. It could be just her own inner insecurities messing with her or past issues or whatever.
To me, it sounds like you guys are both just goofing around and "flirting" in a way. If he ends up being more of a creeper, than you can drop him but eh I'm not seeing red flags yet.
Ehhh...he is coming on strong but I think it depends on how serious he is when he says this stuff and how you are acting with him too. If he was honestly mad your plans didn't include him than yeah that's a red flag or if he honestly was making future plans with you and like trying to set them in stone, that's a red flag. Or if he was saying "I love you" already. But just nonsense babble I think it what a lot of guys do without thinking it through.
I think guys easily say this kind of stuff not because they totally mean it or to be a creeper but just because they think girls like it and that it is "charming." If you are sort of going along with it, he may think you like it when he talks like that.
I may be of an unpopular opinion though. I guess I just think of stuff D said in the beginning that could be considered coming on too strong but I know him and know he is just being goofy and silly. Also, we were both feeling it right away so it wasn't weird when he talked about us being compatible because it was like obviously true even when we didn't "know" each other. We both knew we hit everything on each other's lists, KWIM?
Yeah we were laughing...it wasn't a serious conversation...we do goof around alot.
Tell him to SLOW the F down! If he doesnt, then he is a stage 5 clinger/creeper.
My stage 5 clinger back in February...i told him he was coming on TOO strong MULTIPLE times, he didnt listen/change so i DTMF!
Hmm based on follow ups, maybe not as bad as I first thought but it does seem a little strong. Could you maybe go a couple of days without talking and see if a little space makes you feel better about things? Or maybe it's because he seems great but you're not ready yet? That's okay too.
He does seem great and I was totally expecting and prepared to NOT meet anyone for a long time...and just as I came to peace with that I met him. So like I really feel like I've been taken off guard...and that kind scares me, I'm a planner lol.
Yeah we were laughing...it wasn't a serious conversation...we do goof around alot.
Tell him to SLOW the F down! If he doesnt, then he is a stage 5 clinger/creeper.
My stage 5 clinger back in February...i told him he was coming on TOO strong MULTIPLE times, he didnt listen/change so i DTMF!
Yeah I am going to talk to him about slowing down...do you think if I kiss him again the next time I see him, I'll be sending mixed messages? He's a really great kisser lmbo
Tell him to SLOW the F down! If he doesnt, then he is a stage 5 clinger/creeper.
My stage 5 clinger back in February...i told him he was coming on TOO strong MULTIPLE times, he didnt listen/change so i DTMF!
Yeah I am going to talk to him about slowing down...do you think if I kiss again the next time I see him, I'll be sending mixed messages? He's a really great kisser lmbo
Nah....you can kiss and STILL slow down....I never kissed my clinger bc during the second date i was ready to BOLT!
Yeah I am going to talk to him about slowing down...do you think if I kiss again the next time I see him, I'll be sending mixed messages? He's a really great kisser lmbo
Nah....you can kiss and STILL slow down....I never kissed my clinger bc during the second date i was ready to BOLT!
Yeah I am going to talk to him about slowing down...do you think if I kiss him again the next time I see him, I'll be sending mixed messages? He's a really great kisser lmbo
Um, no. Kissing isn't exclusive to serious, committed relationships. Well, unless you're a Duggar.
Yeah I am going to talk to him about slowing down...do you think if I kiss him again the next time I see him, I'll be sending mixed messages? He's a really great kisser lmbo
Um, no. Kissing isn't exclusive to serious, committed relationships. Well, unless you're a Duggar.
Post by usedtobebear on Jun 22, 2012 15:02:05 GMT -5
Oh my goodness, I can totally see why you are freaking out!! If and when this happens to me I don't know what I would do either. It sounds like he is nice and saying and doing all the right things.
You sound like me in the sense that I stayed married way too long and it's like I don't trust myself to make any smart decisions with relationships in the future. I also don't want to ever feel trapped in a relationship like I did with stbx. So, with that said. I think you just need to take things slow and proceed with caution, guard your heart but also try and trust the process and if you are feeling good happy feelings about him, enjoy it and go with it. I think it sounds exciting and scary! Good luck!
Go with your gut. A poem on how he felt when he first met you two weeks ago, that is to much, then adding on planning a future. No, No, No! A poem, maybe at 6 months, ok, I can see that, but now, no. He is calling way to much. He doesn't seem to know how to give space.
Go with your gut. A poem on how he felt when he first met you two weeks ago, that is to much, then adding on planning a future. No, No, No! A poem, maybe at 6 months, ok, I can see that, but now, no. He is calling way to much. He doesn't seem to know how to give space.
Honestly if a guy likes me and I feel the same I appreciate him calling me almost daily it gives me the opportunity to ask questions and find out more about him...
Here let me share the "poem" lol: After I asked him what would his speech about the lady he met be about he texted "The speech about the lady is still in the making, but I can give u a lil bit...When I first met her the thoughts in my mind were what a beautiful lady. As I sat next to her to say hello it was like watching the sunset glimmer over the ocean"
I thought it was corny cute but I still freaked out just a little bit I shouldn't have asked the question then he would have never texted that lol
I don't think this is necessarily true. To me paranoia is based on irrational fears and doesn't necessarily reflect reality. It could be just her own inner insecurities messing with her or past issues or whatever.
Hence why I said "something". In my experiences, my paranoia was usually justified by what the other person was doing/not doing and I was spot on in regards to what I was feeling.
Howevah....yes, paranoia can be way out of left field. Given his creepy behavior, this doesn't feel left field to me.
:Y: To all of the above. Listen to whatever is sending a weird signal, even if it is on and off. A good thing/good time will not be on and off.
This was my previous situation and whether or not he was projecting what I felt or I was - it turned out not to be right for me after a week. My personal experience after being seperated/divorced for over a year is if you can't go a day without me - then you need me/need something too much.
Hence why I said "something". In my experiences, my paranoia was usually justified by what the other person was doing/not doing and I was spot on in regards to what I was feeling.
Howevah....yes, paranoia can be way out of left field. Given his creepy behavior, this doesn't feel left field to me.
To all of the above. Listen to whatever is sending a weird signal, even if it is on and off. A good thing/good time will not be on and off.
This was my previous situation and whether or not he was projecting what I felt or I was - it turned out not to be right for me after a week. My personal experience after being seperated/divorced for over a year is if you can't go a day without me - then you need me/need something too much.
I agree with the bolded part...it's definitely on my list to ask him about his friends because I sure do talk about things I do with my girlfriends...I know he mentioned that he just recently stop working 70 hours a week so maybe he's trying to get back into rebuilding his social life...I did meet him at a meetup
I would probably stop communicating with him.... it's pretty creepy to act this way after 2 weeks of knowing each other.
Let's compare it to the guy I met two weeks ago (the tattoo guy).. We have hung out 2 times since we met... but we slept together so I guess I am ahead of you there...lol
He isn't calling me everyday or writing me poems... or saying he would move me wherever... that's so weird! He has been texting me everyday which is fun but it's short, sweet texts and that's it.
If you are serious about staying single than be single. It's really not that hard... you just tell men that you aren't interested in dating or relationships right now.
I know there are guys out there that move fast and guys that don't. I also know there are girls out there that move fast as well and until I communicate with him that I'm not one of the fast ones maybe he is just being a "guy"...I don't feel creepines from him, I feel like he is a guy that gets panties thrown at him so he's used to women moving fast with him...I'll just have to show him I'm not one of them and if he doesn't like it, he'll eventually move on and I will be completely fine with that and glad that I stood my ground and kept my self respect.
He asked me out on another date yesterday afternoon so we now have a date on Sunday, I'm definitely going to talk to him about about a few things...
If he is a cool guy with lots of female attention his behavior makes less sense to me? It's nice that you don't feel creepy from him but I would look out. If I acted the way your man is acting it would scare off any sane man... Perhaps that can make it more clear as to how clingy and odd his behaviors are... I don't think people that have healthy relationships move that fast... A Lot of people move fast and make poor decisions but they arent examples of good relationships
Post by missbetty1 on Jun 23, 2012 17:15:30 GMT -5
I am going to have to agree to disagree I bolded my reply
Well you do whatever you feel is the right thing but I am not really sure what you mean by he has panties thrown at him? I mean I’m sure he doesn’t have a problem getting sex if he wanted it
If he is a cool guy with lots of female attention his behavior makes less sense to me? Female attention is not always enough…at a certain point most people don’t want to f*uck random people anymore they start to want a mental/ emotional connection as well.
It's nice that you don't feel creepy from him but I would look out. I agree with this I will remain cautious
If I acted the way your man is acting it would scare off any sane man...Perhaps that can make it more clear as to how clingy and odd his behaviors are I think men like the chase and that is how they show a woman they are interested, by chasing...I think a woman who chases is not a good thing
I don't think people that have healthy relationships move that fast... A Lot of people move fast and make poor decisions but they aren't examples of good relationships I also agree with this and I think it is important for the person who isn’t comfortable moving fast to slow things down by communicating first not jumping ship unless there is something truly creepy about the other person
Don't ignore that gut feeling. That is a huge red flag (moving too quickly). He doesn't know you well enough yet to know if he'd want you in his future!
Don't ignore that gut feeling. That is a huge red flag (moving too quickly). He doesn't know you well enough yet to know if he'd want you in his future!
After we hung out last night again, I realized (because we are still getting to know one another) that he is just flirting/being playful with me he isn't being serious. He loves being comical (he even told me in high school he was "the class clown") and in texts you can't tell if a person being serious or playful. Every time we've been out (about 4 times...2 of those being dates) he is respectful and a total gentleman. As of today I am no longer semi freaking out, actually I have a smile on my face LOL