The Chapters of Your Life

[tiramisu]

Hugs to you too, partiallysunny and dixienormous. PS, I almost included you in my initial post. The need for hugs was there then.

You ladies have been through so much and are so strong. I've been thinking about my book and I think it would pale in comparison, but I may still try to write it out.

[bowies]

I don't think my life story makes sense in chronological order. I would need to just tell stories thematically. I mean, let's face it, my early childhood was immensely uninteresting.

Friends and Mothers:
A conservative feminist father, a liberal non-feminist mother, Catholic school, politics run amok, and the gifted program.

Sex, Drugs, and Rock N Roll:
Sex education, experimentation, the porn store, saving myself, sleepovers, being an informant in taking down a drug ring, living across the street from someone who was written about in Rolling Stone, first comes prom then comes marriage, living in the frat house.

Have You Met My Therapist?
When your best childhood friend has cancer, your brother is on the spectrum, and your mom is a superficial bully. Some of these stories are funny because you just have to laugh at life. I'd probably explore my failed marriage here too.

Charm Offensive:
My dating life, married life, dating life, married life. Theater. My quest for a book deal at age 11.

There's probably a lot I'm leaving out, but I'm tired. Maybe one day I'll put pen to paper.

ETA:
My Life as an Asshole:
I'd move the frat house stories here, part of my (first) married life, and then populate the rest with middle school and high school stories. Then I'd segue into how I managed to grow up.

[partiallysunny]

Sept 26, 2013 19:53:11 GMT -5 bowies said:

My quest for a book deal at age 11.

I'd like to hear more about this, please.

[partiallysunny]

Chirp I'll ditto the "kids know and understand more than parents think they do."

I've thought this many, many times in my life.

[partiallysunny]

Sept 26, 2013 19:35:50 GMT -5 tiramisu said:

You ladies have been through so much and are so strong. I've been thinking about my book and I think it would pale in comparison, but I may still try to write it out.

write it!

[bowies]

Sept 27, 2013 6:28:02 GMT -5 partiallysunny said:

Sept 26, 2013 19:53:11 GMT -5 bowies said:

My quest for a book deal at age 11.

I'd like to hear more about this, please.

I was precocious to say the least.  I basically went to various nerd camps during the summer - I was all over the place in my interests, so it could vary from performing arts to physics.  One summer was a creative writing workshop where we were coached to develop short stories, but on my off time I turned mine into a chaptered book.  My mom helped me meticulously type it out on her typewriter at the kitchen counter.  Then I borrowed the classroom copy of the agent/publisher catalog and mailed it off to Random House.  I never made a copy of it.  My mom was so pissed - she had wanted to get copies made to put in her scrapbook but I just could not wait.  I checked the mailbox all summer for my ticket to the big time.  Nothing ever arrived, not even a rejection letter.  I found solace in writing bad poetry and having it published in the local paper.

Actually, now that I think about it, this one probably belongs in the My Life as an Asshole chapter. 

[Chirp]

Sept 27, 2013 8:19:11 GMT -5 bowies said:

Sept 27, 2013 6:28:02 GMT -5 partiallysunny said:

I'd like to hear more about this, please.

I was precocious to say the least.  I basically went to various nerd camps during the summer - I was all over the place in my interests, so it could vary from performing arts to physics.  One summer was a creative writing workshop where we were coached to develop short stories, but on my off time I turned mine into a chaptered book.  My mom helped me meticulously type it out on her typewriter at the kitchen counter.  Then I borrowed the classroom copy of the agent/publisher catalog and mailed it off to Random House.  I never made a copy of it.  My mom was so pissed - she had wanted to get copies made to put in her scrapbook but I just could not wait.  I checked the mailbox all summer for my ticket to the big time.  Nothing ever arrived, not even a rejection letter.  I found solace in writing bad poetry and having it published in the local paper.

Actually, now that I think about it, this one probably belongs in the My Life as an Asshole chapter. 

LOL. Poor little bowies. And poor bowies' mom.

The publisher could have at least sent a rejection letter. Turds.

[dixienormous]

bowies - I think you need to pick up a copy of Mr. Posterior and the Genius Child. It's a great book and this story reminds me a lot of it.

[tiramisu]

Golden- the early years of my life, when everything was going well, I had tons of friends fighting over me, and I was carefree. I can even think of a picture that would be perfect in this chapter, me as a little one, maybe 3-5, jumping. There's a huge smile on my face and I look like I'm loving life.

Success- this would include elementary school (K-3rd) and things like flooring the librarians with how well I could read, learning a variety of skills, and not letting one bad teacher get in my way.

Rejection- this is where things would start to get muddied, because it would be hard to not go through all the rejection. If trying to keep it more linear, I would talk about the shift from elementary school to middle school and the abandonment by my friends, their rejection, and their purposeful attempts to turn everyone against me and completely isolate me socially. I would also include the awesome field trips and vacations that happened during this time because it wasn't all bad. I went to Italy with my parents and we went on school field trips to Ellis Island and to Cape Cod for whale watching. There would also be some focus on the people who didn't abandon me, because for too long I didn't think about that.

A New Start? -This would start with the move from NJ to CA and include my struggles to make friends and trust after what happened in NJ. I tried to reinvent myself when we moved, but I didn't do a very good job of it. This would cover 7th through 10th grades and the various ways I searched for identity at that time.

Same Shit, Different Coast-this is where I started to feel like I didn't fit in with my new friends, where some of them treated me poorly and made things into a competition instead of supporting one another. It would follow my further identity development and the dating that I did, including letting my emotionally abusive ex hang around and trying to get back with him as well as starting to confront people from NJ to find out why things happened the way they did.

Hope?- I went off to college thinking that it would be so different from HS, and this would cover that hope and development. Many of the classes I took had a very positive impact and I loved many things about college. This chapter includes dating a much-older man, losing my virginity, and meeting my husband. It also includes my continued struggles with friendships, my increasing anxiety and depression, taking a quarter off of college, and coming to a better emotional place.

Working - figuring out what I wanted to do through working a bunch of jobs I didn't want. Also, experiencing the same sport is social aggression at one of my jobs that I experienced in middle school and high school. I started therapy again and started working on issues like that. Oh, also in here is how working two jobs got me over insomnia (for the most part).

A New Direction - this begins with starting graduate school and actively working towards the future I want. It also includes being in a supervision group that forced me to really work on my issues about friendships with women. This is about me discovering sides of myself I didn't know and some I'd forgotten.

Smooth Sailing? Hah! - this is where I'm finally working full-time doing what I want to be doing, but the job is hellish and there's turmoil outside of work too. It includes marriage problems and the loss of two cats in one year, the terminal diagnosis and subsequent loss of another cat, and transitioning to a new job. My accomplishments would be highlighted here, showing that you can achieve all these great things in one area and still have other parts of your life be completely messy.

Rediscovery- I'm working on rediscovering my passions and rediscovering myself after everything I've been through. Even though it's still going on, I'm learning each day.

[starrieskies]

Tiramisu, I love your story! I especially like how you highlighted both the positive and negative in each chapter.

[tiramisu]

Sept 27, 2013 9:02:40 GMT -5 starrieskies said:

Tiramisu, I love your story! I especially like how you highlighted both the positive and negative in each chapter.

Thank you! Especially for reading all that, I didn't mean to make it so long.

[partiallysunny]

Oh tiramisu, that's a lovely story! I love how positive you are, even when it want such a good time in life.

Your struggles with friends really hit home.

[starrieskies]

Sept 27, 2013 9:16:02 GMT -5 tiramisu said:

Sept 27, 2013 9:02:40 GMT -5 starrieskies said:

Tiramisu, I love your story! I especially like how you highlighted both the positive and negative in each chapter.

Thank you! Especially for reading all that, I didn't mean to make it so long.

I think when you're trying to summarizie your entire life, it's normal for it to be a little long!

After reading your post, I started thinking about mine as well. I put a lot of emphasis on the negative aspects of my life, but in reality, there has been so many positive things in my life too... Really, my childhood, aside from the obvious bumps in the road, was very easy. I was afforded a lot of unique opportunities that really helped shape who I am today. While I think it's important to acknowledge and deal with the negative aspects, I really need to work on not allowing them to define who I am.

On a random side note, after writing about my daughter yesterday, she sent me a "Hi! How ya doing?" text and we had a nice chat. I'm very fortunate in that her adoptive parents have allowed us to maintain a very open relationship.

[margarita]

Aw, Starries, that is so great! I'm glad you get to have a relationship with her.