Friends wedding - Am I wrong?

[disappointedkittens]

I thought I'd try my own post instead of just using the randoms today

A friend is getting married in a few weeks in a resort town about 2 hours from a major city.  We are driving there, and another friend and his wife will be flying into major city the morning of the wedding.  They asked if we'd pick them up at the airport and take them out to resort town, and drive them back to major city because they are able to stay free with relatives there (and said we could stay with them too).  We said we'd be happy to take them to the wedding, but that we would not be able to take them back at the city because we are staying at resort town.  I just don't want to drive back to the city late and sleep on someone's floor.
He is super pissed.  I've never had a fight with him and this seems totally out of the blue to me.  He even called the bride and told her they'd no longer be coming because of me.  This is totally unlike him and I'm not sure what to do.  Am I wrong?  Validate me internet strangers!

[LLL]

your friend is an idiot. This isn't your fault.

[shostakovich]

Your friend is a douche.

[Deleted]

Your friend is a douche. Not your fault. You are not a car service.

[VeryViolet]

Your friend is an asshole, for expecting you to accommodate his every whim and more importantly for involving the bride in his bullshit.

[Sloane]

You don't get to be angry at people because you ask them for a (rather large) favor that they're not able to completely do. That's not how this works. Your friend is being batshit.

[cleo29]

Your friend sounds like an immature jackass. You would be doing them a favor giving them a ride there, it is not your job to drive them all over the place, especially if it is not part of your original plans anyway. I would not want to drive two hours after attending a wedding either.

If they want to go to the wedding, they should rent a car. I understand not being able to afford renting a car and a hotel, so they should just do one or the other.

I hope your friend the bride does not take his side.

[koopa17]

Wtf? Rude. You don't owe anyone a ride, you are a guest, not a taxi. Fuck that guy.

[orangeblossom]

I would pick them up, though for me, it would stress me out about it, that their flight could be late and therefore make me late. I hate being late.

Taking them two hours on the way back, hell no. You are not wrong. They really expect you to take them that night, like you don't have your own plans for staying at the resort. How can they even assume you're going back.

Team you all the way. He is so wrong and rude it's not even funny. I'm all for saving money, but even his plan of staying two hours is a bit much, notwithstanding you giving them a ride.

[leeann]

Your friend is ridiculous.

[cuddlyevil]

Your friend is the douche, not you.

[disappointedkittens]

Sept 26, 2013 10:14:24 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

Your friend is a flaming jackass. And I'd venture to guess, has never really been much of a friend .

The thing is, he's been a good friend for almost 10 years now, and he's not usually even remotely a douche.  He's a really nice guy and he would give you the shirt off his back.  I'm wondering if there is something else going on here in his life and this just set him off.

[justkly]

He should just ask the bride for a ride back. How dare everyone not drop everything for this man.

I am announcing that this is sarcasm since half the people on here think I am being serious. Nothing I ever say is.

[eb777888]

He expects you to drive two hours, both ways to pick him up? What? Who asks this of someone?

[Deleted]

Your friend is being ridiculous. You are not.

[ECB]

My jaw is on the floor. Of course you aren't wrong. After a fun wedding, the LAST thing I want to do is get in a car and drive for 2 hours - free lodging or not! Hell. I can't believe he even took this to the bride. I'd be re-examining this "friend"ship.

[muppetinma]

Not to mention that it would be irresponsible of you guys to go to a wedding, where presumably there will be booze, then get back in the car and drive two hours. I'm guessing that he has other things going on in his life to cause him to react that way, but it's totally not your fault.

[ECB]

Sept 26, 2013 10:17:46 GMT -5 disappointedkittens said:

The thing is, he's been a good friend for almost 10 years now, and he's not usually even remotely a douche.  He's a really nice guy and he would give you the shirt off his back.  I'm wondering if there is something else going on here in his life and this just set him off.

If you want to keep this friend, then i'd give him some time to cool off and then approach him and gently ask "What's going on?  I was surprised by your reaction - it's not like you. " and see what he says.  Even after "cooling off" - if he's still an ass about it, you may want to back off for a bit. 

[shostakovich]

Sept 26, 2013 10:18:48 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

Sept 26, 2013 10:17:46 GMT -5 disappointedkittens said:

The thing is, he's been a good friend for almost 10 years not, and he's not usually even remotely a douche.  He's a really nice guy and he would give you the shirt off his back.  I'm wondering if there is something else going on here in his life and this just set him off.

  Sounds like money issues, then. They're staying the night at a friend's house, could mean they can't afford a hotel. 
Still, he's the douche here, not you. Sorry he's acting like this. 

This is a really good point.  It's possible he's a bit relieved to use this as an "out," because he was realizing how expensive attending this wedding was going to be, and now he can just blame you (although, again - he is the douche, not you) to the bride and think he is saving face.  But really, he is just making himself look even douchier.

[Deleted]

rent a fucking car, douchebag.

ugh. your friend sucks.

[Kit]

Money issues like Sue said, or he just wants to be able to drink and have a good time without worrying about driving.

He's being an ass, regardless.

[disappointedkittens]

Sept 26, 2013 10:23:20 GMT -5 shostakovich said:

Sept 26, 2013 10:18:48 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

  Sounds like money issues, then. They're staying the night at a friend's house, could mean they can't afford a hotel. 
Still, he's the douche here, not you. Sorry he's acting like this. 

This is a really good point.  It's possible he's a bit relieved to use this as an "out," because he was realizing how expensive attending this wedding was going to be, and now he can just blame you (although, again - he is the douche, not you) to the bride and think he is saving face.  But really, he is just making himself look even douchier.

Yes maybe it is.  They fly for free (or really cheap) because they have a relative working for an airline, so maybe they thought they were hoping to get the weekend in for little money.  They did offer that we could stay in the city with them once we drove them back so I think maybe he's offended that we are declining their offer.  He said we were being wasteful by paying for a hotel for no reason.
But yes, I should give him some time to cool down and check if things are going ok with him.  I don't want to lose a friend over somethign so dumb.

The bride couldn't believe it was happening and is super confused about his actions.

[Alyssa]

Your "friend" is an asshole....a cheap asshole.  Honestly it sounds like he didn't want to come to the wedding and he's using this as an excuse.  Why should you be his taxi? Maybe his relatives could lend him a car for a couple days...or better yet, have them come pick up his cheap ass at the resort.  If that can't happen....fucking rent a car!  That's what rental agencies are there for.

BTW, he's a huge tool for throwing you under the bus and tattle-tailing on you to the bride, do you think she wants to hear of her guests having issues about her wedding?  No.

[Deleted]

Sept 26, 2013 10:31:41 GMT -5 disappointedkittens said:

Sept 26, 2013 10:23:20 GMT -5 shostakovich said:

This is a really good point.  It's possible he's a bit relieved to use this as an "out," because he was realizing how expensive attending this wedding was going to be, and now he can just blame you (although, again - he is the douche, not you) to the bride and think he is saving face.  But really, he is just making himself look even douchier.

Yes maybe it is.  They fly for free (or really cheap) because they have a relative working for an airline, so maybe they thought they were hoping to get the weekend in for little money.  They did offer that we could stay in the city with them once we drove them back so I think maybe he's offended that we are declining their offer.  He said we were being wasteful by paying for a hotel for no reason.
But yes, I should give him some time to cool down and check if things are going ok with him.  I don't want to lose a friend over somethign so dumb.

The bride couldn't believe it was happening and is super confused about his actions.

WHAT?!?!?  if a "friend" dared to comment on how i spend my own money, i'd lose my shit.  especially something like a hotel room in a resort town FOR A WEDDING.  it's not like he's all "um, maybe reconsider the third maserati."

he's not a friend.  he's a judgmental douchebag who should just RENT A FUCKING CAR SINCE HE'S FLYING FOR FREE.  rent the cheapest one and it's like $50.  stfu, "friend."

[cleo29]

Sept 26, 2013 10:31:41 GMT -5 disappointedkittens said:

Sept 26, 2013 10:23:20 GMT -5 shostakovich said:

This is a really good point.  It's possible he's a bit relieved to use this as an "out," because he was realizing how expensive attending this wedding was going to be, and now he can just blame you (although, again - he is the douche, not you) to the bride and think he is saving face.  But really, he is just making himself look even douchier.

Yes maybe it is.  They fly for free (or really cheap) because they have a relative working for an airline, so maybe they thought they were hoping to get the weekend in for little money.  They did offer that we could stay in the city with them once we drove them back so I think maybe he's offended that we are declining their offer.  He said we were being wasteful by paying for a hotel for no reason.
But yes, I should give him some time to cool down and check if things are going ok with him.  I don't want to lose a friend over somethign so dumb.

The bride couldn't believe it was happening and is super confused about his actions.

You are not staying there for no reason, you are staying there because the wedding is two hours away from you and staying at hotel is common practice. He is being a real jerk about the entire thing. He was asking you to do a favor for him, but somehow is turning it around that you are being so rude by not taking him up on his generous offer.

I understand money issues. This is why we drive many times rather than fly. But if he is getting a deal on the flight and staying somewhere for free, then they should look into renting a car. If they cannot manage it, which is understandable, then they should not be going. His financial problems are not your fault.

[vanillacourage]

I feel like a part of the story is missing - like the friend misunderstood what he was asking of the OP, or something's going on that the OP isn't privy to, etc.

[eb777888]

Sept 26, 2013 10:31:41 GMT -5 disappointedkittens said:

Sept 26, 2013 10:23:20 GMT -5 shostakovich said:

This is a really good point.  It's possible he's a bit relieved to use this as an "out," because he was realizing how expensive attending this wedding was going to be, and now he can just blame you (although, again - he is the douche, not you) to the bride and think he is saving face.  But really, he is just making himself look even douchier.

 He said we were being wasteful by paying for a hotel for no reason.

Okay. Now I REALLY think he's an asshole. Wow.

[ECB]

The only thing that might allow me to give him a LITTLE, TINY lee-way is if he were offering to actually do the driving after the wedding. As in "I'll be the DD. You all drink, enjoy yourselves.". But as you haven't mentioned that, I assume that wasn't his offer.

[fryjack2]

You don't have to tell him anything, but you could tell him that your hotel is nonrefundable and you have stuff planned for the day after the wedding in the resort.

Maybe ask him again what he is asking of you. This request seems odd, as does his reaction.

[wannabe]

This dude is a fucking jerkface and a half. Fuck him.