I've shared this before I think: I stabbed my coworker in the hand with a pencil because I thought he had said something sexist, a misinterpretation on my part it turned out. Oops. In my defense (?), I was pregnant at the time.
Well this and betty's jail story are certainly putting my big, half-exposed ass into perspective.
Hmm. I worked as an assistant at a consulting firm after college and frequently had to work late, sometimes until 10:00 PM. There was never any notice so I would run across the street to grab McDonald's or subway for dinner.
On my performance review my boss suggested that I pack a snack everyday because the consultants didn't like that I wasted 15 minutes eating dinner.
I was in jail in Kyrgyzstan for two days because the company I worked for didn't give me enough local currency to pay off the admin at the airport to let me through customs. Mind you, it's not that you have to pay, it's just the way corruption works sometimes. They only fed me because I was American, otherwise you don't get food unless your family brings it for you.
I guess my only awkward/embarrassing moment was that I had to go a few towns over to a group work meeting with the President of the company. I was dressed up in business casual clothing (per office rules, no big deal), had black stockings, and plain black flats on. It was pouring that day and it was the day I learned that some types of flats, when they get wet, stink to high heaven.
I could NOT concentrate on anything said because all I could think about was that I could smell my shoes. And if I could smell my shoes, the VP sitting next to me could probably smell them as well. I wanted the floor to swallow me up and I didn't know if I should apologize and try to explain to those sitting next to me or just pretend I didn't notice.
I was put in a cell by myself away from everyone else. Think like a holding cell, so I don't know what the conditions were that everyone else was in. They were actually really nice to me. My boss paid basically the equivalent of $350 bucks and they sent me on my way.
OMG! So does that mean that you have a criminal record there?
Post by cuddlyevil on Nov 11, 2013 14:21:26 GMT -5
The wife of my boss at the time called in when I was working the reception desk. She asked "Is this H? He told me to call and talk to you but ONLY to you.". She then proceeded to tell me that he was in the hospital after having a heart attack but that I couldn't tell anyone.
Thought of another one: I was one of 12 people in my office that was selected to meet with corporate HR regarding an investiation they were doing of our GM. Someone was fired and filed a complaint that went skipped our division HR and went straight to corporate. I had to go on my lunch hour because none of us were supposed to know who was meeting with them, I didn't eat that day and was so nervous.
That GM was also the one who said "I wish people would plan these things 2 weeks in advance" when I took some time away to go to a family funeral.
The very first time I taught my own class I couldn't find the room. The registrar's office apparently changed the classroom number in the week before class, so I went to the old room and got really confused when no one showed up. Then I had to run around the building trying to find my class. Eventually I had to ask someone in one of the department offices to look up the room for me. When I finally arrived at my class, the students probably thought I was an idiot. I sure felt like an idiot!
(now I always check the room number on the first day of class, lol)
I hugged an interviewer once. After my interview, he was holding out my coat for me in a weird way, and I guess I thought he was opening his arms for a hug. I thought it was weird, but went for it. He looked at me like I was crazy. And needless to say, I didn't get that job.
Rachel Green is REAL, y'all.
Wow, I totally forgot about that episode! Maybe if I looked like Jennifer Aniston I might have gotten called back....
I've shared this before I think: I stabbed my coworker in the hand with a pencil because I thought he had said something sexist, a misinterpretation on my part it turned out. Oops. In my defense (?), I was pregnant at the time.
I love this. So, would it have been justified if he had in fact said what you thought he did?
Post by pixelpassion on Nov 11, 2013 14:35:46 GMT -5
I get really embarrassed by surprises. So my most awkward office moment was at an old internship. FI showed up randomly to give me a scholarship letter that had arrived at our apartment. I was getting ready to go out into the field and I was so shocked and taken aback that he was there, in the office and totally unannounced.
The worst part was that when I went in for supervision later, my supervisor commented on how handsome FI was and was making light of how mortified I looked. And then for no reason at all, I started crying. Weirdest thing ever.
Nothing like these, but I've had a few embarrassing moments for sure. I once worked at a Doctor's office, and the office manager pulled me aside to tell me I had to buy new work pants, because the main Doctor's wife thought mine were too low and that there was no way I could bend in them without "exposing myself all over the place" (they weren't, but I wasn't going to argue, of course). I was eventually let go from that position, after being out sick for two days, and the new office manager was really nasty and accused me of several things I'd never done. I had laryngitis, so I could not defend myself in any way, so I ended up just getting up and leaving after flashing her the "OK" sign. So graceful.
Nothing yet at my current job, knock on wood; I think the only time I was embarrassed so far was when I went to tell my boss I was pregnant, but ended up crying too hard to talk because my Aunt had just died - which I hadn't planned on mentioning - while my boss just sat there looking around like she wished someone would save her.
Not on the level of some of the stories here, but I once wore a pair of patterned hose to work. I had on a long skirt, so there were really only about 6 inches of hose showing at all. The next day I was called in to my supervisor's office. She hadn't been there the previous day, but someone had told her I was wearing an extremely short skirt and fishnet stockings. When I tried to explain that that was incorrect, she interrupted to tell me that lying to her wasn't going to make the situation any better. I was so angry and embarrassed.
I once had to drive the company president home from a work function because he was hammered and everyone thought it wisest for a sober employee to drive his company car home rather than a non-employee. On the way to his house, he tried to set me up with his son, he called his assistant (who everyone thought he was sleeping with) and had an awkward bluetooth through the car conversation with her. You could tell she was all weirded out that I was there and listening to him call her when he was hammered. We get to his house and his wife runs out of the house in her robe and I am basically running down the driveway shouting "It's XXXXX from HR, I'm just dropping him off."
I was walking out of work and was 8 months pregnant. I scooby doo tripped in the parking lot and fell on my side so hard I slid forward in gravel.
Like 5 middle aged professional men ran up to me in complete wide eyed horror. I got back up insisting I was fine and pretty much ran away from them to my car before they saw the blood freely running down my leg and wrist and made me file an incident report.
I still have scars, both mental and physical. Lol.
I was an executive assistant to three people. One gave me some documents to photocopy so there i am photocopying. It was pertaining to a possible lawsuit with my third boss for sexual harassment. It was BAD.
I gave them the papers back and acted normal (one of my bosses was HR so I had to do lots of secret stuff, not out of the ordinary but this one involved my BOSS). They realized later they gave me stuff to copy that they were keeping from me on purpose so later they pulled me in for a meeting to tell me the whole story and make sure I was ok and if I had any questions etc.
Also same company started having layoffs. I would know the date and have the list in advance and still have to walk around saying hi to people like nothing was wrong. So there were about 5 months of awkwardness.
I fell walking into work on a rainy day a few years ago. It was one of those falls where I tripped a bit and thought "oh, no worries, I can recover", then I went down, figured it was over once my hands hit the ground, but turns out my chest had to hit the ground and slide before I was done. The parking lot was full and a bunch of men were pulling up into the parking lot/walking into the building for a meeting. Not one of them stopped and said anything, which was...ok, but I was left to get up and walk into the building alone where the men were all gathered and I was soaking wet, covered in mud, and bleeding on my chin/hands/through my now-ripped pants.
I'm a pastor and we had so many deaths in a short period of time. I had 3 funerals in one week. At one of the funerals I said the wrong name. The worst part is I didn't even know I did it, but the woman's son was mouthing the name to me. I had to go ask my organist what I said. My nightmare, luckily the family was wonderful.
I get really embarrassed by surprises. So my most awkward office moment was at an old internship. FI showed up randomly to give me a scholarship letter that had arrived at our apartment. I was getting ready to go out into the field and I was so shocked and taken aback that he was there, in the office and totally unannounced.
The worst part was that when I went in for supervision later, my supervisor commented on how handsome FI was and was making light of how mortified I looked. And then for no reason at all, I started crying. Weirdest thing ever.
Post by coribelle26 on Nov 11, 2013 17:17:11 GMT -5
I can't even identify the number of times I've fallen down at work. Tons. And then there was the time I was spelling something on the phone for someone and the only word I could think of that started with V (you know, for articulation purposes) was virgin. The only one. And I sat there for what felt like forever thinking, "Oh my God you idiot you have a fantastic vocabulary just THINK OF ANOTHER WORD!!" But I couldn't, so I just went for it. "A like apple, V like [pause forever] virgin..."
And the awkward hug heard round the world. Never hug someone you think is cute because he says he's accepted another job until you let him finish saying he will still be there for a month. Also don't put your arms out and start the hug by yourself from about 10 feet away.
Hmm. I worked as an assistant at a consulting firm after college and frequently had to work late, sometimes until 10:00 PM. There was never any notice so I would run across the street to grab McDonald's or subway for dinner.
On my performance review my boss suggested that I pack a snack everyday because the consultants didn't like that I wasted 15 minutes eating dinner.
DD worked at A&F hq after college (women's sweaters). She had to be there by 8:30 which is really fine but she had to eat lunch at her desk. They have a really fabulous cafeteria, it is not your typical food at all. They could never go there, eat at your desk or have a mad boss an hear about it.
No dinner, work til 8:30 every night. If you leave before 8:30 or 9 PM, you won't be there long. People think clothing sweatshops are China. Well, yes some are there but there is a huge one in New Albany, Ohio. She did really well, several promotions & big pay the 2 years she was there. Thank God she got out before it completely sucked her soul out of her.
I had an interview for a different department of the company I currently work for (this is like, 7 or 8 years ago).
Interview was going great, then they asked me if I'd be willing to relocate.
The question totally caught me off guard and I STARTED CRYING.
I wanted to die.
So, years later, I start doing photography on the side and a coworker asks me to take photos of their family.
I was talking to a friend who was in the same department as my coworker's husband and asked if she knew the husband. She did. And she was like, he's the one who did your interview for X Department.
I wanted to die again. Luckily, he didn't remember me. And if he did, he was nice enough to not say anything.
Post by underwaterrhymes on Nov 11, 2013 18:36:01 GMT -5
I took my boss for a colonoscopy.
ETA - It was an unexpected colonoscopy. We did not plan this. I showed up and he was like, "I need you to take me to my doctor's appointment, if that's okay."
I said (brightly) "sure!"
On the way he informed me I'd need to stick around since he'd be going under. Naturally I inquired why and that's how I found out that I was my boss's pants person for the day.
I found out about six months after the fact that someone started a rumor I was having an affair with a coworker. Actually, that happened to me twice. Cute girl must be a slut, huh? The first one was started by the wife of the coworker during their nasty divorce, and the second was started by my asshole ex-boss after I left the company (different coworker that time). I think my asshole ex-boss was trying to get that guy fired, so the rumor was really about him and I was a convenient target since I was gone.
My most awkward moment was while briefing a large team of managers on a major potential (loss of life) failure we were having in the field. One of the managers was the guy that ran the production group and he was sitting directly to my left.
The production floor is a grungy, dirty, nasty area. This manager had a huge pus filed wound on his right hand. Most likely it was staphylococcus. He kept picking at it.
There was a decent big of arguing during this meeting and everything was very, very tense.
Finally Mr Germy Hands pops the festering wound and the glob of staph flies through the air and LANDS ON MY HAND.
As an event planner I was doing a walk through for a private school's Alumni Gala. While bending over to draw a chalk line for the tent, I split my pants open. During Recess. At a school!
Thankfully one of the women with me had a zip up hoodie on and I was able to take cover quickly. The sound of my pants splitting still haunts me.
Oh, I've had a few. When I was waitressing I once reached in to pull a pen out of my apron pocket and grabbed a tampon instead. In front of a table of 6. I also fell up the stairs and took a major header in the dish room once. Landing at the feet of the chef I had the hots for.
While working in the office environment my work buddy (who was also a stand up comic) learned that there were rumors that we were doing it. The exact terminology used by the IT guy was we were playing 'hide the sausage'. Naturally, we got an empty box of brown and serve sausages and would hide it in each other's cubicle etc... We would always make a big production out of finding them.
Most recently one of the doctors where I work was walking by a patient room just as I was telling my patient (very loudly as he is deaf as a stone) that dr L is very fussy about how much weight he should be putting on his foot. He stopped right in the doorway and smirked at me and asked, did you just call me fussy? I wanted to crawl into the closet.
Post by juliagoulia on Nov 11, 2013 22:26:47 GMT -5
So many of these are amazing.
I told a customer "I love you" when I hung up accidentally He laughed and when he came into the shop the next time he commented on what fantastic service we gave him, haha. It was a really long day and I had just told myself before he called that I needed to call H to pick up dinner- my brain kind of fast forwarded to the next convo. Woops.