maternity leave annoyances.

[Deleted]

i just need to vent so i don't vent at my husband.  again.  ha.  blah blah wbc and everything is just fine and there are tons of great things and i'm so not ready to go back.  but still:

1.  vacuum commercials.  wtf?  why is every other commercial during the day for vacuums?  how often do people even BUY vacuums?  i think we got one 8 years ago. 

2.  being constantly covered in spit up.  i have to change like 12 times a day.  i even took mr. o to the pediatrician because omg with the GODDAMNED SPIT UP.  turns out--normal!  it's reflux, but just the kind that occurs because his digestive system is immature not the kind you treat.  and he gained 18 ounces in 16 days so it's not something the pediatrician will treat since it's clearly not harming him (i mean, she checked him out otherwise too).

3.  that my kid will nap or not nap never when i expect him too, so i'm all exhausted all the time because i worked through one sleepy period expecting a second and he doesn't nap a second time.  but if i DON'T do shit during his sleepy periods, NOTHING GETS DONE and i'm really bored.

4.  omg.  my house is so fucking dirty.  we have a whole extra (spit up-prone) person in here and i'm home all day.  the cleaners only come biweekly, and thank god they do or we'd be immersed in filth.

5.  being more primarily responsible for cooking and cleaning.  it makes sense, i'm home, and even the "cooking" i'm doing is setting up for the husband to cook half the time.  but damn if i'm not tired of it.  it's also making me like FILLED WITH RAGE when the husband doesn't put his dishes in the dishwasher or CLEAN THE FUCKING LITTER.  just clean the litter.  you said it was your job.  the house STINKS LIKE CAT SHIT.  argh. 

6.  cleaning the cat litter.

7.  being stalked by catballs.  jesus.  for a geriatric, deaf cat who is supposedly used to being alone most of the day (and who hates all other creatures), she is awfully needy.  she's always, always always sitting where i want to sit or up on me or whatever.  i was feeding O just now and she propped up her goddamned paws ON THE BOPPY.  that's for babies, not cats!

8.  why can't my stupid kid hold a pacifier in his mouth yet?  i mean, i know he's a baby, but GET ON IT O.  learn faster! 

9. dr. phil.  shut up!

10. the fedex and ups guys.  and also my husband for shopping online constantly, causing 5 deliveries a day.

[eddy]

Leo would never take a pacifer. It annoyed me more than it should have.

/fist bumps

hang in their dawg.

[Deleted]

Nov 12, 2013 15:51:28 GMT -5 eddy said:

Leo would never take a pacifer. It annoyed me more than it should have.

/fist bumps

hang in their dawg.

O will suck on my finger no prob.  i need my hand!!  and it makes my pinky all pruney,

[snickers]

I hear you, it's not all it's cranked up to be!
Also, Dr. Phil is a moron, but there is nothing better to watch at that time, so I end up watching it anyways.

[snickers]

Nov 12, 2013 15:53:02 GMT -5 cville said:

Nov 12, 2013 15:51:28 GMT -5 eddy said:

Leo would never take a pacifer. It annoyed me more than it should have.

/fist bumps

hang in their dawg.

O will suck on my finger no prob.  i need my hand!!  and it makes my pinky all pruney,

Have you tried soothies?

[VeryViolet]

As I was nodding along to everything in this post (except f changing I just sit in spit up clothes) I realized I forgot my dog outside for longer than I want to admit too.

[Deleted]

This makes me not want to take maternity leave.

[ginap]

But maternity leave is so relaxing and sleep when the baby sleeps and all that.  Don't worry about living in a dirty house - remember what Pinterest says .
 
LOL. C was a terrible napper and would only sleep if she was on top of or being held by me so nothing got done ever and most showers I took where spent with C in her bouncer screaming at me while I rushed to soap up the important parts and sang stupid songs. I couldn't wait to get back to work.

[Deleted]

Nov 12, 2013 15:53:11 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

Dude, spit-up turned me into a nervous wreck. lol. For thirty minutes after every feeding, I handled Jack like a ticking time bomb. "PUT DOWN THE TOWEL! BATTEN THE HATCHES! HAND ME THE MOP!"

yes!  and nothing works.  burp a lot, burp twice, limit movement, toss him around, prop him up on my legs/in my arms/in the bouncer/up on mt shoulder--for 10/20/30/40 minutes, feed laying down/reclined/sitting/in a quiet room/at target.


i've tried it all.  spit up is inevitable after 90% of feedings regardless.  i just went out and bought more burp clothes.  if i can't stop it, at least i can reduce laundry frequency.

[daisyheadmaizie]

Nov 12, 2013 15:51:28 GMT -5 eddy said:

Leo would never take a pacifer. It annoyed me more than it should have.

/fist bumps

hang in their dawg.

Word. Sometimes I think you and I are the same person. Lol

sorry, Cville. Hang in there, this to shall pass. Try to remember you don't have to be super woman and do it all. Caring for a newborn is a full time job itself. 

[Deleted]

Nov 12, 2013 15:53:56 GMT -5 snickers said:

Nov 12, 2013 15:53:02 GMT -5 cville said:

O will suck on my finger no prob.  i need my hand!!  and it makes my pinky all pruney,

Have you tried soothies?

he TAKES a pacifier.  he's just too little now to hold it in his mouth (any brand) during that drift off to sleep phase.

[VeryViolet]

Nov 12, 2013 15:59:07 GMT -5 cville said:

Nov 12, 2013 15:53:11 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

Dude, spit-up turned me into a nervous wreck. lol. For thirty minutes after every feeding, I handled Jack like a ticking time bomb. "PUT DOWN THE TOWEL! BATTEN THE HATCHES! HAND ME THE MOP!"

yes!  and nothing works.  burp a lot, burp twice, limit movement, toss him around, prop him up on my legs/in my arms/in the bouncer/up on mt shoulder--for 10/20/30/40 minutes, feed laying down/reclined/sitting/in a quiet room/at target.


i've tried it all.  spit up is inevitable after 90% of feedings regardless.  i just went out and bought more burp clothes.  if i can't stop it, at least i can reduce laundry frequency.

I have been using receiving blankets I am going more for surface area and the absorbency isn't bad.

[ECB]

Nov 12, 2013 15:49:30 GMT -5 cville said:

9. dr. phil.  shut up!

HGTV became my best friend on mat leave.  I just couldn't handle the normal "daytime TV". 

[Deleted]

My DD was such a puker. I always smelled like puke, it was so so gross.

[amandakisser]

Nov 12, 2013 15:59:07 GMT -5 cville said:

Nov 12, 2013 15:53:11 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

Dude, spit-up turned me into a nervous wreck. lol. For thirty minutes after every feeding, I handled Jack like a ticking time bomb. "PUT DOWN THE TOWEL! BATTEN THE HATCHES! HAND ME THE MOP!"

yes!  and nothing works.  burp a lot, burp twice, limit movement, toss him around, prop him up on my legs/in my arms/in the bouncer/up on mt shoulder--for 10/20/30/40 minutes, feed laying down/reclined/sitting/in a quiet room/at target.


i've tried it all.  spit up is inevitable after 90% of feedings regardless.  i just went out and bought more burp clothes.  if i can't stop it, at least i can reduce laundry frequency.

This makes me feel better, because I have an almost-7-week-old and OMG the spit up!  She somehow manages to spit up between her bib and clothes, so I end up changing her four times a day regardless.

[Deleted]

Nov 12, 2013 16:01:29 GMT -5 kevin arnold said:

I didn't read past #1, I assume it gets better?

depends on your definition of better.

[Jalapeñomel]

Spit up comes out my kid's nose, and I miss day time TV.

When your kid isn't napping, what is he doing?

[VeryViolet]

Oh also today I am on my 6th episode of parenthood on amazon because last night I was singing "we are farmers dun duh dun..." From the State Farm commercial to my baby.

[vanillacourage]

OMG the spitup.  I felt like I should just give up and wear a raincoat around the house.  DS1 was eventually diagnosed with reflux. 

[VeryViolet]

Nov 12, 2013 16:05:17 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

Spit up comes out my kid's nose, and I miss day time TV.

When your kid isn't napping, what is he doing?

If anyone answers this with anything other than fussing/crying I will shank them with my spit up covered nursing bra.

[SKP82]

UPS or FedEx only comes when I'm nursing.

[sake]

except for the dr.phil and the kitty paws on the boppy... I agree. The hover round commercials were also overabundant in my opinion.


I also SUPER agree with jillianashley6 about the wubanubs. They are THE best.

[Jalapeñomel]

Nov 12, 2013 16:07:31 GMT -5 VeryViolet said:

Nov 12, 2013 16:05:17 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

Spit up comes out my kid's nose, and I miss day time TV.

When your kid isn't napping, what is he doing?

If anyone answers this with anything other than fussing/crying I will shank them with my spit up covered nursing bra.

Sorry, I guess I should've preface this by saying this was in reference to my post the other day, so my humor may be lost via the interwebs. 

[Deleted]

Nov 12, 2013 16:05:17 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

Spit up comes out my kid's nose, and I miss day time TV.

When your kid isn't napping, what is he doing?

A)  spitting up.
B)  writhing around, exercising his legs or something (as distinguished from D below).
C)  being half asleep and making a ton of noises that sound sort of like a combination between grunting old men and kittens to let me know if i don't engage in soothing activities RIGHT NOW he's going to launch into crying.
D)  crying and engaging in whole-body fussing.
E)  looking around quietly and being cute.  my favorite.

A and C are his favorites.

[Jalapeñomel]

Nov 12, 2013 16:10:34 GMT -5 cville said:

Nov 12, 2013 16:05:17 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

Spit up comes out my kid's nose, and I miss day time TV.

When your kid isn't napping, what is he doing?

A)  spitting up.
B)  writhing around, exercising his legs or something (as distinguished from D below).
C)  being half asleep and making a ton of noises that sound sort of like a combination between grunting old men and kittens to let me know if i don't engage in soothing activities RIGHT NOW he's going to launch into crying.
D)  crying and engaging in whole-body fussing.
E)  looking around quietly and being cute.  my favorite.

A and C are his favorites.

LOL! No one told me how much noise newborns make...I was unprepared for it. 

[tdk2]

Nov 12, 2013 16:10:34 GMT -5 cville said:

Nov 12, 2013 16:05:17 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

Spit up comes out my kid's nose, and I miss day time TV.

When your kid isn't napping, what is he doing?

A)  spitting up.
B)  writhing around, exercising his legs or something (as distinguished from D below).
C)  being half asleep and making a ton of noises that sound sort of like a combination between grunting old men and kittens to let me know if i don't engage in soothing activities RIGHT NOW he's going to launch into crying.
D)  crying and engaging in whole-body fussing.
E)  looking around quietly and being cute.  my favorite.

A and C are his favorites.

F) eating. Constant eating

[tdk2]

Mel-they are soooooo loud lol

[Deleted]

Nov 12, 2013 16:13:14 GMT -5 tdk2 said:

Nov 12, 2013 16:10:34 GMT -5 cville said:

A)  spitting up.
B)  writhing around, exercising his legs or something (as distinguished from D below).
C)  being half asleep and making a ton of noises that sound sort of like a combination between grunting old men and kittens to let me know if i don't engage in soothing activities RIGHT NOW he's going to launch into crying.
D)  crying and engaging in whole-body fussing.
E)  looking around quietly and being cute.  my favorite.

A and C are his favorites.

F) eating. Constant eating

not mine.  he's a WOLF.  10 minutes a side and BOOM, done.  then he spits up.  yay!!!!!!!!!!!!

[SKP82]

Nov 12, 2013 16:11:50 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

Nov 12, 2013 16:10:34 GMT -5 cville said:

A)  spitting up.
B)  writhing around, exercising his legs or something (as distinguished from D below).
C)  being half asleep and making a ton of noises that sound sort of like a combination between grunting old men and kittens to let me know if i don't engage in soothing activities RIGHT NOW he's going to launch into crying.
D)  crying and engaging in whole-body fussing.
E)  looking around quietly and being cute.  my favorite.

A and C are his favorites.

LOL! No one told me how much noise newborns make...I was unprepared for it. 

So true! Even when sleeping, she is grunting or sighing, which means I am always half awake waiting to see if she's going to go back into a deep sleep or wake up.

[MrsAxilla]

Nov 12, 2013 15:53:11 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

Dude, spit-up turned me into a nervous wreck. lol. For thirty minutes after every feeding, I handled Jack like a ticking time bomb. "PUT DOWN THE TOWEL! BATTEN THE HATCHES! HAND ME THE MOP!"

No shit.  I don't even want to feed her half the time because she's just going to spit it all back up over me.  And she always manages to hit wherever I DON'T have a towel.  Like right down my cleavage, or in my crotch.  GROSS!!