Stolen from ML- Holiday Confessions. Add yours!

[kkfeb04]

I'm not the least bit upset that we will not see Herpes or his family for Christmas. I conceded a January visit to go to them because we can control that and it will be more like of an hour or so with his family and a few hours with the each kid's godparent.

[spaghetticat]

Dec 3, 2013 11:48:32 GMT -5 jaime183 said:

My confession is I'm so sad of the impact his food allergies are having on me. I always thought I wouldn't be that mom who changes everything bc of her kid.
At thanksgiving everyone complained about how gross the pie was that it tasted like jello and I feel so bad that it has to be like that
And we skipped a birthday party Sunday bc I was having anxiety over what he might find on the floor and I didn't sleep enough and couldn't handle going without DH (he had to work).
Travel is my favorite thing to do and I dread it bc of the food now

That birthday party really emphasized my guilt.

Aww, I'm sorry. That's really tough.

[carawestt]

Dec 3, 2013 10:52:48 GMT -5 orriskitten said:

Dec 3, 2013 10:50:06 GMT -5 TrudyCampbell said:

My husband has gotten me some nice gifts but they are always things I specifically ask for or things from my amazon wish list. I'd love a nice surprise!

Same here.

Me too. I always know what I'm getting because I remind him day after day.

[shevacc]

I don't want to buy presents for adult extended family either. I'm thinking of just giving everyone a calendar but I didn't get my act together in time for the discount codes so we'll unfortunately have to pay full price. Last year my brother and I decided to only give presents to the kids (his step-daughter and G) which was SOOOOO nice. I just wish DH were willing to have the same conversation with his brother but he won't.

I'm also annoyed at my ILs. We saw them this past weekend and they just now were asking what our Christmas plans are, then were all butthurt that we're not driving 10 hours to see them. 1) we were there last year and told them every 3 years or less 2) we've had our Christmas plans set for 2 months now 3) I'm terrified of feeding G at their house since they're not at all careful about nuts and don't take her allergy seriously. Just not going to deal with it.

[carawestt]

SIL and BIL that we haven't seen/talked to in 1.5 years (due to a stupid fight) are coming for Christmas. I have a feeling my MIL is going to go behind my back and ask H to buy a gift for their daughter to "break the ice" and I'm going to tell her fuck off if she does.

[shevacc]

Dec 3, 2013 11:48:32 GMT -5 jaime183 said:

My confession is I'm so sad of the impact his food allergies are having on me. I always thought I wouldn't be that mom who changes everything bc of her kid.
At thanksgiving everyone complained about how gross the pie was that it tasted like jello and I feel so bad that it has to be like that
And we skipped a birthday party Sunday bc I was having anxiety over what he might find on the floor and I didn't sleep enough and couldn't handle going without DH (he had to work).
Travel is my favorite thing to do and I dread it bc of the food now

That birthday party really emphasized my guilt.

it's totally understandable to be upset about having to make changes to your own life. I miss getting to eat chocolate covered peanuts at Christmas. My parents used to send them to me every year and it was always one of my favorite Christmas presents. On the other hand, that's totally unfair that you had to listen to other people complaining about the pie. I finally had to tell DH in no uncertain terms that I didn't want to hear it if something I cooked wasn't great. It still took effort to prepare even if it didn't turn out well and typically I realize and already feel bad without him adding to it.

Hopefully pie will be less of an issue when he's a little older and less likely to eat crumbs off the floor. Then maybe the family can have their pie and he can have a special dessert that he likes. I have no patience for people, especially family members, who put their slight inconvenience over a child's severe allergy. I also have no problem telling them that in no uncertain terms, even if it does piss off my MIL.

[Deleted]

I'm nervous my H is going to ask if MIL can stay the night and wake up here Christmas. I can't say no, because we spent J's first Christmas at my parents house, and stayed the night to wake up there. I really want a quiet Christmas morning with just the three of us before going to his family's house. I have a feeling she will be here. It just stresses me out, because she constantly questions everything I do with J, and helicopters over him. Plus, she bought him this ugly Disney Cars chair that I hate, but know J is going to love, and I want J to play with the stuff I bought him first. God, I sound selfish. But, that's why its a confession.

[Deleted]

@jamie183 I'm so sorry. Just remember that it will be such a short time that he is unable to communicate or understand his food needs. A friend of mine's child has celiac disease. He is 3.5 and almost 100% reliable with good. He always tells an adult his needs and always asks before he eats things. She said it took a few months of making him ask even her Dh and herself before all food but now she doesn't really worry about it.

[eav2c]

Dec 3, 2013 12:49:30 GMT -5 carawestt said:

SIL and BIL that we haven't seen/talked to in 1.5 years (due to a stupid fight) are coming for Christmas. I have a feeling my MIL is going to go behind my back and ask H to buy a gift for their daughter to "break the ice" and I'm going to tell her fuck off if she does.

Are you all eating and sitting down for dinner together??? Omg! Does SIL know you're pregnant yet?

My confession: I am glad my nephew acted like the brat that he is on Thanksgiving. It validated everything I've been saying for years and hearing my H apologize and grovel was awesome. I wouldn't even care if he was a brat and his parents tried but they give zero fucks.

[devonpow]

I love buying presents for everyone, but my family makes it really easy and we go off of lists. At first I hated the idea and thought it was un-Christmasy and lacked thought, but now a few years into the system and I love it, lol.

I made serious damage christmas shopping yesterday. I'm scared for DH to see our credit card bill.

My confession - I didn't call my mom on thanksgiving this year. We are semi estranged (haven't seen her in 6 years). But I always had too much guilt to not call on major holidays and her birthday (she would usually not answer the phone so I would just leave a message). This year, after she didn't call or email ether me or my sister on our birthdays i decided to end the guilt and stop calling. Thanksgiving was the first time. I feel liberated, but sad.

[carawestt]

Dec 3, 2013 13:26:01 GMT -5 eav2c said:

Dec 3, 2013 12:49:30 GMT -5 carawestt said:

SIL and BIL that we haven't seen/talked to in 1.5 years (due to a stupid fight) are coming for Christmas. I have a feeling my MIL is going to go behind my back and ask H to buy a gift for their daughter to "break the ice" and I'm going to tell her fuck off if she does.

Are you all eating and sitting down for dinner together??? Omg! Does SIL know you're pregnant yet?

Yes! They're staying at the IL's house and we go there for Christmas Eve, it's going to be so awkward! And yeah, we have a mutual friend so she told her I was pregnant a few months back. Then she called my MIL and was like "so you didn't think it was important to tell me about Cara?" After telling my MIL previously that she didn't want to hear about us/see pics of us or anything. She's 32 but acts 15. Should be fun!

[eav2c]

Dec 3, 2013 13:40:34 GMT -5 carawestt said:

Dec 3, 2013 13:26:01 GMT -5 eav2c said:

Are you all eating and sitting down for dinner together??? Omg! Does SIL know you're pregnant yet?

Yes! They're staying at the IL's house and we go there for Christmas Eve, it's going to be so awkward! And yeah, we have a mutual friend so she told her I was pregnant a few months back. Then she called my MIL and was like "so you didn't think it was important to tell me about Cara?" After telling my MIL previously that she didn't want to hear about us/see pics of us or anything. She's 32 but acts 15. Should be fun!

Ahhh. Do you anticipate talking to them at all or will you basically just ignore each other? Omg!!! I am nervous for you.

[nilex0102]

Dec 3, 2013 11:44:32 GMT -5 jaime183 said:

Dec 3, 2013 10:10:02 GMT -5 irishsara said:

Also, I'm trying to scale back Christmas this year, but I just can't seem to do it. I want to buy my kids all the things!!!

They have too many things already though.

Such a conundrum.

Me too! I keep buying books telling myself they are not toys

Lol. They are not!

[skwcm80]

I don't put a tree until 2 weeks before Christmas, ever.

[carawestt]

Dec 3, 2013 13:45:39 GMT -5 eav2c said:

Dec 3, 2013 13:40:34 GMT -5 carawestt said:

Yes! They're staying at the IL's house and we go there for Christmas Eve, it's going to be so awkward! And yeah, we have a mutual friend so she told her I was pregnant a few months back. Then she called my MIL and was like "so you didn't think it was important to tell me about Cara?" After telling my MIL previously that she didn't want to hear about us/see pics of us or anything. She's 32 but acts 15. Should be fun!

Ahhh. Do you anticipate talking to them at all or will you basically just ignore each other? Omg!!! I am nervous for you.

I have no idea!!! She got mad at me for something (still don't know what), deleted me and H from FB and cussed me out in an email. She'll most likely be fake nice, since that's her personality, but I honestly don't know. It's going to be interesting.

[jfh]

We stopped doing extended-family gifts a few years ago, and I miss it! Even if the gifts were so-so, I loved the tradition, the presents under the tree, the wrapping paper, the anticipation. I even enjoyed last-minute shopping (which is how I always did it). But everyone else was over it, so now we just do gifts for the kids.

But this year we're doing "stocking stuffers" with MIL/FIL, so I'm just getting them gifts and wrapping them in a stocking. They're not major gifts anyway.

[jfh]

jaime183 I'm sorry, that sounds so hard. I'm sure with time it will get easier, both because of his communication and because you'll constantly find new creative ways of handling new situations. I'm really sorry you have to deal with it, though.

devonpow it sounds like you made the right decision, and if she wants to reach out, she can. But letting go of family relationships sucks. I'm sorry.

[jsillyfun]

The allergy thing makes me ragey. People are so effing rude. Our parents' generation just does not get it for the most part.

[jaime183]

Dec 3, 2013 16:11:30 GMT -5 jsillyfun said:

The allergy thing makes me ragey. People are so effing rude. Our parents' generation just does not get it for the most part.

They don't.
My dad always tells me how this didn't happen when they were kids.
Ok. Great. That's not my concern. My concern is my child who has an anaphylactic allergy to eggs right now.

As horrible as it was, they are more understanding now that they've seen him have a reaction. Before they thought I was exaggerating.

[cat19]

I hate having to buy gifts for everyone. I have to get for MIL, SIL, FIL, my mom, my oldest sister who has only step kids that we don't buy for, all 10 of my nieces and nephews, my kids, and DH. Then a few of my friends buy for my kids, so I have to buy for them. And none of them have kids. It's a PITA.

[hass2001]

I hate all my decorations. I really want to start over. Everything I have is so tacky, mostly hand me downs and cheap stuff from when I first moved out years ago.

Oh the stocking is my favorite! I'd rather just do the stocking and no gifts except for the kiddos.

[fusion]

I wish I knew "who" was in me this year so I could decide on stockings. Oh well, next year it is.

[browneyedhunni85]

I'm spending more on my parents than DH's. My parents do a lot for us by watching C, helping us with yard work, etc. They also spend a lot on us for Christmas too.

I'm do not want to spend Christmas with the inlaws. I enjoy being around my family. We spent Christmas with my parent last year so we have to switch it up.

[katfco]

--I actually enjoyed Thanksgiving because I love cooking and knowing people enjoy the food I made. I feel like it's one of the few things I really do well that not everyone can do. I wish we had close friends nearby that I could give Christmas treats to because I really want to do some Christmas baking.

--I hate buying presents because I can never think of what to get people and it's always so expensive. Kids are easy, but with DH, he has no real hobbies and is so practical, he doesn't even like to buy books because "That's what libraries are for."

--As much as I'm looking forward to spending time with my family, I'm also not looking forward to it because their house is small, we sleep in a loft and its impossible to babyproof. My sister and grandmother also live 1.5 and 2 hours from my mom, so it's going to be a lot of driving on top of the 12-hour drive.

--We're not doing a tree this year. We might do decorations. Caleb's into everything, we're still trying to find space for all the stuff the ILs gave us, and I just don't have the energy to do it for the 2 weeks before Christmas we'll be here.