WWYD? Hospital/doctor question

[kershnic]

I am 23w pregnant with twins.

I really like my OB and MFM, and I have literally already had an appointment almost every week, and this will only increase.

I like the hospital they deliver at except one huge thing. To get a private room after delivery (likely c sec) it would cost $900/night that we don't have. In a shared room my wife has to leave from 10pm to 8am. Which means I either have babies alone or have to send them to the nursery. If they're in the NICU she could go there...but then she wouldn't sleep. And I'm alone.

If I change to a new completely unknown OB and associated MFM (some vague reccs, but nothing really promising) I could go to a different hospital with private rooms with no insane surcharge.

What would you do?

[Stingyshark]

That is awful they make your DW leave.. Geez, as if having a baby, and in your case TWO BABIES isn't hard enough.. I would probably change practices.

[Deleted]

That is tough. One one hand, I would hate sharing a room. On the other hand, I would definitely want to take advantage of the nursery at night, regardless if I had a private room or not. Can you afford the surcharge without breaking your budget?

[kershnic]

Dec 9, 2013 14:43:55 GMT -5 MNH2013 said:

Personally I would rather have SO there. To me that is what I need in terms of support. Though it is a tough decision especially when you like your Dr.

I know Seriously, I've been trying to visualize her leaving just to try to gauge how strongly I feel about it, and just imagining it now makes me want to cry. But then I'm like, am I being ridiculous, it's only a few overnights, I'm a grown up, what if I hate a new doctor, etc.

We went to a first appointment with a different OB with the different hospital a few weeks ago and hated her and her practice. So this would be our second attempt at switching.

[sporklemotion]

I would probably switch, because having DH and baby with me was HUGE during my hospital stay, especially as a first time mom.
I really liked my OB, but at the end of the day, I'm not sure he did all that much that any other doctor wouldn't have done. He is super nice and has a good manner, and is very competent, but most of our interactions involved checking in and monitoring. He wasn't on call when I went into labor, so I ended up working with two other doctors from his practice, anyway. Your experience may differ, especially with twins, but I would think about that when making a choice.

[kershnic]

Dec 9, 2013 14:57:35 GMT -5 @mjmksb04 said:

That is tough. One one hand, I would hate sharing a room. On the other hand, I would definitely want to take advantage of the nursery at night, regardless if I had a private room or not. Can you afford the surcharge without breaking your budget?

I don't even really care that much about the shared room - just the fact my wife can't stay. It's a shitty policy. (BTW, it's not a homophobic thing, it goes for all significant others.)

We wouldn't be in debt over the surcharge, but it would be a pretty intense hit to our e-fund at a very expensive time in our lives. We won't be adding anything back to e-fund for quite some time.

[hillarywhitney]

I'd probably change dr.s.

What a sucky situation

I hope you find another dr. you like.

[annabear07]

I too would change doctors/hospitals. I'm guessing that your Dr. does many multiple births. Does he/she have any recommendations on the matter as far as the private room?

[MrsDarcy]

I think I would change doctors.

[vmars]

I would change doctors/hospitals.

[Deleted]

I would prefer SO in the room for sure and consider changing drs. One thing to keep in mind is the level of NICU at each hospital, especially with multiples.

[JayhawkGirl]

I'd change. That hospital is a good 35 years behind the times. Having DH with me, especially overnight, was and is one of the most important things for me. Post csection I couldn't get up to get the baby when he needed me. Deal breaker.

Do your Drs have privileges at the better hospital?

[Jalapeñomel]

This would've been my situation had I given birth at the hospital where my OB practiced in Manhattan.


My baby was in the NICU, so I was able to sleep all night that first night without interruption, so I actually sent DH home around 9 pm (he also had to meet my mom). It didn't bother me in the slightest that DH wasn't there overnight, because 1) I got a really good night's rest and 2) there was no reason for him to be there unless he felt the need to watch me sleep. If the baby wasn't in the NICU, I'm not sure how I would've felt.

[Jalapeñomel]

Dec 9, 2013 15:39:00 GMT -5 JayhawkGirl said:

I'd change. That hospital is a good 35 years behind the times. 

This is actually fairly common here in NYC due to overcrowding of hospitals. 

[kershnic]

Dec 9, 2013 15:17:31 GMT -5 annabear07 said:

I too would change doctors/hospitals. I'm guessing that your Dr. does many multiple births. Does he/she have any recommendations on the matter as far as the private room?

She gave me a weird look and said 'you just have to pay for it...' But to me $900/night is A LOT of money.

[Deleted]

I'd switch. There is no way I could handle H going home for that length of time with one baby, let alone 2. One of the main reasons I chose the practice/hospital I'm delivering at was because of the private rooms.

[kershnic]

Dec 9, 2013 15:30:15 GMT -5 @missy1 said:

I would prefer SO in the room for sure and consider changing drs. One thing to keep in mind is the level of NICU at each hospital, especially with multiples.

Yes, I'm definitely unwilling to go to a hospital without a level 3 NICU. Thankfully I live in a place where I have many choices.

[kershnic]

Dec 9, 2013 15:39:00 GMT -5 JayhawkGirl said:

I'd change. That hospital is a good 35 years behind the times. Having DH with me, especially overnight, was and is one of the most important things for me. Post csection I couldn't get up to get the baby when he needed me. Deal breaker.

Do your Drs have privileges at the better hospital?

It's not a matter of better hospitals, it's a matter of the city vs. the suburbs (which involves crossing state lines in this case, so no, doctors don't do it).

[kershnic]

Dec 9, 2013 15:42:42 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

Dec 9, 2013 15:39:00 GMT -5 JayhawkGirl said:

I'd change. That hospital is a good 35 years behind the times. 

This is actually fairly common here in NYC due to overcrowding of hospitals. 

This. Unfortunately.

[JayhawkGirl]

ah, gotcha. Rooming in, partner with you, is just second nature here in the prairie land :)My hospital includes meals for the partner at no charge as part of the room charge and I honestly couldn't come up with a hospital that wouldn't let him stay overnight. -

My birth, however - took my mom three hospitals to find someone who would let my dad be in the room for delivery and let her deliver without meds. She was their first med free delivery. Nurses stayed past shift hoping to be able to watch.

[redpenmama]

I'd probably switch as well -- at least check out the other OB/MFM and see if you like them. The additional $900/night would be enough to deter me, not to mention the fact that your wife can't stay with you (when I am sure you could use the help/support if your twins are with you in the room).

[Deleted]

Dec 9, 2013 15:18:55 GMT -5 bricco said:

I would change doctors. Having H with me is paramount for me.

This is exactly how I feel word for word. 
Nothing else to be said. 
$900, insanity!

[Deleted]

Dec 9, 2013 15:59:02 GMT -5 kershnic said:

Dec 9, 2013 15:42:42 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

This is actually fairly common here in NYC due to overcrowding of hospitals. 

This. Unfortunately.

Ugh sounds tough but I would still switch.  I have t switch ob's b/c no one in my immediate area vbacs so I get it.  I am not happy about the extended drives for my appts and for the hospital delivery but it's just a few months right?

[kershnic]

Dec 9, 2013 16:11:03 GMT -5 JayhawkGirl said:

ah, gotcha. Rooming in, partner with you, is just second nature here in the prairie land :)My hospital includes meals for the partner at no charge as part of the room charge and I honestly couldn't come up with a hospital that wouldn't let him stay overnight. -

My birth, however - took my mom three hospitals to find someone who would let my dad be in the room for delivery and let her deliver without meds. She was their first med free delivery. Nurses stayed past shift hoping to be able to watch.

This is one of many topics that make me wonder why the hell we don't live in the Midwest with our families for sure!! I am jealous!

[Jalapeñomel]

Dec 9, 2013 15:59:02 GMT -5 kershnic said:

Dec 9, 2013 15:42:42 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

This is actually fairly common here in NYC due to overcrowding of hospitals.

This. Unfortunately.

I gave birth in the Bronx, and I was thrilled at the level of care in the NICU. Good thing about NYC, you have amazing resources all over the city.

[kershnic]

Dec 9, 2013 16:22:30 GMT -5 redpenmama said:

I'd probably switch as well -- at least check out the other OB/MFM and see if you like them. The additional $900/night would be enough to deter me, not to mention the fact that your wife can't stay with you (when I am sure you could use the help/support if your twins are with you in the room).

If I pay the $900 she can stay. The shared room is covered by my insurance.

[Jalapeñomel]

And even if you pay for a private room, if there isn't one available, you will not get a private room.

[kershnic]

Dec 9, 2013 16:34:15 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

Dec 9, 2013 15:59:02 GMT -5 kershnic said:

This. Unfortunately.

I gave birth in the Bronx, and I was thrilled at the level of care in the NICU. Good thing about NYC, you have amazing resources all over the city.

I do feel fortunate for tons of good hospitals. If I don't go with this midtown hospital it will be in NJ.

[Jalapeñomel]

I will look for my post on this topic that I had on ML a couple months ago, because I dealt with this exact scenario (until I ended up giving birth at 33 weeks).

[shelbyann]

Do you have access to an FSA or other pretax account that you could use to pay for the upcharge? Just thinking it would take it down from $900 to like $600 or whatever. Still a lot of money though, especially if you end up being there for several nights.