Tropical Tuesday (&randoms)

[disappointedkittens]

Dec 10, 2013 10:50:45 GMT -5 simpsongal said:

Dec 10, 2013 9:31:26 GMT -5 disappointedkittens said:

Not tropical, but I was just thinking fondly of our trip to Disney World last year, and how I could really use some fun right now. We weren't sure if it would be fun for adults but we both really enjoyed it, and I'd like to go back again and do universal.

I am a mess this morning. I had an awful, emotional day yesterday, and I couldn't sleep most of the night because I was in so much pain. I feel gross and terrible this morning.

Hugs - did something happen?  Do something to make yourself feel good today.  Whether it's a relaxing bath, small glass of wine, or tasty treat (or all 3).

I found out that my mom needs a major surgery.  She told me about it a few days ago and they thought it would be fairly standard but I guess that the issue has spread and she will now have to have a really risky and complicated surgery with a long recovery time.  And the selfish part of me is also upset because I was counting on her being there for me when the baby is born but the surgery is right near my due date so she will be missing the first part of baby's life   I feel worse because she is delaying her surgery enough to be present for my sister when she has her baby, so I am the only one missing out.

ILs are already choosing to go away during our due date too which sucks.  They never go on vacations so it's extra WTF that this is the ONE time that they feel the need to go, and they had to do it exactly when I'm due.  They make a huge effort to go see SIL 8 hours away for every holiday and birthday and in between, but they couldn't even stay in town to be there for us.

I've felt slighted this whole pregnancy from both sides because I saw the grandparents get SO excited about the other grandkids and it feels like they could not care less about our baby   I'm worried that our baby one day will wonder why no grandparents came to see him in the hospital when they all sat in the waiting room all night for all the other babies.  Plus GD sucks and I can't even eat some good comfort food to get me through all the emotions.

[shelbyann]

Dec 10, 2013 10:50:10 GMT -5 @redbellpeppers said:

Dec 10, 2013 9:40:14 GMT -5 shelbyann said:

Yeah, I would definitely take snow over the crappy, gray, 45-and-raining we have in ATL.

Except then you're stuck in the house because the state of Georgia doesn't own any damn snowplows or salt.

Haha, I'm sure that's true! This is only my second winter living here so I have yet to experience the freak-out-shutdown that I'm sure happens when it snows. I just miss the pretty white stuff

[kermit]

I want to be anywhere warm, doesn't really matter where. I'd like to try paddle surfing.

I'm already hungry for lunch. I need to hold out another 45 minutes at least. I made peanut brittle last night and it was good. I kind of want to try again using a tip I found to make it thinner, but I ate so much last night that I'm sick of it.

[Deleted]

Dec 10, 2013 11:13:01 GMT -5 shelbyann said:

Dec 10, 2013 10:50:10 GMT -5 @redbellpeppers said:

Except then you're stuck in the house because the state of Georgia doesn't own any damn snowplows or salt.

Haha, I'm sure that's true! This is only my second winter living here so I have yet to experience the freak-out-shutdown that I'm sure happens when it snows. I just miss the pretty white stuff

Sorry to rain on your parade. Snow is pretty when we have it, but more frequently it's ice which cripples the entire region (see: January 2011).

[sonrisa]

Ooo. I want to be on one of the uninhabited San Blas islands with a picnic, snorkel gear and a flat stomach. Or at the top of a temple in Tikal. (And it doesn't even snow where I live. Ever.)

[simpsongal]

Dec 10, 2013 11:09:53 GMT -5 disappointedkittens said:

Dec 10, 2013 10:50:45 GMT -5 simpsongal said:

Hugs - did something happen?  Do something to make yourself feel good today.  Whether it's a relaxing bath, small glass of wine, or tasty treat (or all 3).

I found out that my mom needs a major surgery.  She told me about it a few days ago and they thought it would be fairly standard but I guess that the issue has spread and she will now have to have a really risky and complicated surgery with a long recovery time.  And the selfish part of me is also upset because I was counting on her being there for me when the baby is born but the surgery is right near my due date so she will be missing the first part of baby's life   I feel worse because she is delaying her surgery enough to be present for my sister when she has her baby, so I am the only one missing out.

ILs are already choosing to go away during our due date too which sucks.  They never go on vacations so it's extra WTF that this is the ONE time that they feel the need to go, and they had to do it exactly when I'm due.  They make a huge effort to go see SIL 8 hours away for every holiday and birthday and in between, but they couldn't even stay in town to be there for us.

I've felt slighted this whole pregnancy from both sides because I saw the grandparents get SO excited about the other grandkids and it feels like they could not care less about our baby   I'm worried that our baby one day will wonder why no grandparents came to see him in the hospital when they all sat in the waiting room all night for all the other babies.  Plus GD sucks and I can't even eat some good comfort food to get me through all the emotions.

I'm sorry, I would be bummed too.  That's a shame about your mom
Hugs.  You may recall I had similar feelings in the beginning when my folks were redoing their kitchen.  Mom always talked about it and didn't seem excited about the baby.  That has totally changed.  At the time, a friend told me something that's helped me when I worried about other people's involvement and reactions -- having a baby is a big deal to your family and friends but it pales in comparison to the impact on you and your DH's lives.  When it comes down to it, you're the parents and it's all on you.  I think that's a little bit of a scary sentiment because we've never had this type of responsibility.  But it's also wonderful because this experience and life change is something so intimate and important to you and your DH.  No one else will ever understand or fully appreciate all those moments with your LO you're about the experience. 

Also, go treat yourself to something!

[disappointedkittens]

simpsongal thanks for the perspective. I know DH will be a wonderful father and I really can't wait to see him in that role and for us to bond as a family. I just can't help comparing our kid to the others. I feel like it will be like for SILs kids
-"I was so excited to meet you I hopped on a plane as soon as I heard you were coming and sat in the waiting room all night. I loved you so much that I stayed with you for a whole month", and to our kid it will be like
-"Grandma thought it was really important to have drinks on the beach and couldn't delay her trip for a few weeks to meet you and make sure you were ok"
I'm totally projecting because I always felt like the kid in scenario 2, and I don't want anyone to do that to our kids I realize I need to get over my pity party though.

[sonrisa]

Dec 10, 2013 11:09:53 GMT -5 disappointedkittens said:

I'm worried that our baby one day will wonder why no grandparents came to see him in the hospital when they all sat in the waiting room all night for all the other babies.  

Your baby isn't going to know this, because you aren't going to tell him/her. You might resent how things happen but you don't have to pass that resentment along to your kid. If the grandparents continue to act disinterested, the kid will pick up on it. However, these things can change once the baby is born.

I resented some of the ways my in laws responded to the birth of our first child. DH knows I do. But DD doesn't and won't. This time, I know what to expect. MIL will love this child but will not come visit her. Nothing we do will change that. 

[simpsongal]

Dec 10, 2013 13:35:57 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

Dec 10, 2013 11:09:53 GMT -5 disappointedkittens said:

I'm worried that our baby one day will wonder why no grandparents came to see him in the hospital when they all sat in the waiting room all night for all the other babies.  

Your baby isn't going to know this, because you aren't going to tell him/her. You might resent how things happen but you don't have to pass that resentment along to your kid. If they continue to act disinterested, the kid will pick up on it. However, these things can change once the baby is born.

I resented some of the ways my in laws responded to the birth of our first child. DH knows I do. But DD doesn't and won't. This time, I know what to expect. MIL will love this child but will not come visit her. Nothing we do will change that. 

This too, kittens.  It's sort of like a divorce situation.  Don't poison the well and tell your kids negative things about their grandparents (or let them overhear/see you thinking/feeling those things).
There may be some history or baggage on your DH's side that's causing the disparate treatment.   That doesn't make it okay, but I always try not to take in-law issues too personally.

[shelbyann]

hugs, @disappointedkittens

[Stingyshark]

My random: I think I'm having BH pretty regularly. I can actually feel these, and they are happening every couple of minutes. I have an appt at 3:45, which I'm pretty anxious about.

[AHappierHour]

Dec 10, 2013 14:05:29 GMT -5 Stingyshark said:

My random: I think I'm having BH pretty regularly. I can actually feel these, and they are happening every couple of minutes. I have an appt at 3:45, which I'm pretty anxious about.

Me too! Normally the lower back pain and BH's start for me after I've been busy all day but today I went to bed and woke up feeling the same way. I have an appy at 4:15 today.

[AHappierHour]

I don't care if it's tropical or cold and snowing all I want is to be left alone for a few days. Everyone is working my last nerve.

[vmars]

Dec 10, 2013 14:05:29 GMT -5 Stingyshark said:

My random: I think I'm having BH pretty regularly. I can actually feel these, and they are happening every couple of minutes. I have an appt at 3:45, which I'm pretty anxious about.

do you think you may be in labor?

[marie3246]

H and I moved to FL about 6 years ago and I'm not sure if it's a case of always wanting what I can't have, but I am so over the heat and humidity here. I grew up near Pittsburgh and really miss the changing of the seasons and snow around christmas and being able to ski on the weekends. It is just making it worse this year since pregnancy has made me so hot all the time and we are having a heat wave.

[disappointedkittens]

Keep us updated after your appointments AHappierHour and Stingyshark!

[Stingyshark]

Dec 10, 2013 15:09:26 GMT -5 vmars said:

Dec 10, 2013 14:05:29 GMT -5 Stingyshark said:

My random: I think I'm having BH pretty regularly. I can actually feel these, and they are happening every couple of minutes. I have an appt at 3:45, which I'm pretty anxious about.

do you think you may be in labor?

I doubt it - but I guess anything can happen. I'm about to go to my appointment now. I have zero hopes that she will actually be on time this late in the day. Should have brought snack. 

[catsarecute]

I have an appointment with my therapist tonight and I didn't do any of the "homework" she assigned me when I saw her in October. Whoops.

[Stingyshark]

No progress. Exactly the same as last week. I think next week I'll skip the check. I'd rather not know if I'm not progressing.

TBH, I'm feeling sad. I don't want her to be a preemie; I want her to big healthy & strong, but I'm feeling so done. I think my family got me all worked up, and then today was kind of a let down. So DH told me I should just quit thinking she's coming early and focus on her due date of 1/2. So, I'm going to do that.

[vmars]

Dec 10, 2013 18:00:08 GMT -5 Stingyshark said:

No progress. Exactly the same as last week. I think next week I'll skip the check. I'd rather not know if I'm not progressing.

TBH, I'm feeling sad. I don't want her to be a preemie; I want her to big healthy & strong, but I'm feeling so done. I think my family got me all worked up, and then today was kind of a let down. So DH told me I should just quit thinking she's coming early and focus on her due date of 1/2. So, I'm going to do that.

I felt the same way when they told me the baby was measuring ahead but made no progress. It's a huge let down. I'm sorry

[AHappierHour]

Dec 10, 2013 18:00:08 GMT -5 Stingyshark said:

No progress. Exactly the same as last week. I think next week I'll skip the check. I'd rather not know if I'm not progressing.

TBH, I'm feeling sad. I don't want her to be a preemie; I want her to big healthy & strong, but I'm feeling so done. I think my family got me all worked up, and then today was kind of a let down. So DH told me I should just quit thinking she's coming early and focus on her due date of 1/2. So, I'm going to do that.

The way you feel is perfectly normal. The last 4 weeks is a total mind screw. All the pain and discomfort we feel and then to be told nope nothing or the same makes you feel defeated. (( hugs )) just enjoys the last few weeks with your DH, good luck

[Stingyshark]

AHappierHour Yes, defeated is a good word to describe how I'm feeling.
How was your appt?

[AHappierHour]

Dec 10, 2013 18:19:57 GMT -5 Stingyshark said:

AHappierHour Yes, defeated is a good word to describe how I'm feeling.
How was your appt?

I'm in CA so I have not been to my appt yet. I will update when I'm done in a couple hours.

[Stingyshark]

Dec 10, 2013 18:22:16 GMT -5 AHappierHour said:

Dec 10, 2013 18:19:57 GMT -5 Stingyshark said:

AHappierHour Yes, defeated is a good word to describe how I'm feeling.
How was your appt?

I'm in CA so I have not been to my appt yet. I will update when I'm done in a couple hours.

LOL Oh.. I forget people are all over the country/world.. Well, good luck! 

[AHappierHour]

I'm at 2 and completely effaced. Not much but some progress.

[sonrisa]

I had my last prenatal appointment today. My HMO doesn't do any internal checks (last time, my first was when I was in labor) so I don't know where things stand. Next week, this time, I'll be holding my baby - if not sooner. It doesn't feel real yet.