I see I am in the minority here. I just can't get past the fact she left her kids in an illegal and dangerous situation. I think she made a bad decision. How many flames do people get when they hear of a dog being left in a hot car? Maybe I have heard too many stories in the news of bad things happening when children have been left alone in a car or in a house.
what would you have done in this situation? Homeless, no job, no child care and 2 kids and a potential job opportunity?
Asked anyone I knew to sit in the car with them. I can't assume that because she is homeless she has no friends. I would choose anything other than a situation where my kids could die.
what would you have done in this situation? Homeless, no job, no child care and 2 kids and a potential job opportunity?
Asked anyone I knew to sit in the car with them. I can't assume that because she is homeless she has no friends. I would choose anything other than a situation where my kids could die.
Job interviews usually happen on weekdays when most people are at work. If she doesn't have any friends who will let her crash in their couch, as opposed to a shelter or living in her car. Do you really think she has friend who were able to "just sit" in a car with her kids while she goes on a job interview?
I see I am in the minority here. I juet past the fact she left her kids in an illegal and dangerous situation. I think she made a bad decision. How many flames do people get when they hear of a dog being left in a hot car? Maybe I have heard too many stories in the news of bad things happening when children have been left alone in a car or in a house.
i don't think anyone thinks she made a good decision. the point is, there are no good decisions to be had.
Exactly. If she left her kids in the care of someone she did not know *at all* instead and something horrible happened, she would be burned at the stake for that too.
I see I am in the minority here. I just can't get past the fact she left her kids in an illegal and dangerous situation. I think she made a bad decision. How many flames do people get when they hear of a dog being left in a hot car? Maybe I have heard too many stories in the news of bad things happening when children have been left alone in a car or in a house.
What is your solution for a homeless woman with NOTHING.
But if her kids suffers heat stroke or worse would everyone feel the same way? Do we know she has nothing and no one? That assumption is being made bc she is homeless and left her kids in the car.
what would you have done in this situation? Homeless, no job, no child care and 2 kids and a potential job opportunity?
Asked anyone I knew to sit in the car with them. I can't assume that because she is homeless she has no friends. I would choose anything other than a situation where my kids could die.
how many friends do you think a homeless person has? Do you *REALLY* think that if she had another option she wouldn't have chosen it? REALLY?
These choices are so easy where you sit, aren't they?
"Not gonna lie; I kind of keep expecting you to post one day that you threw down on someone who clearly had no idea that today was NOT THEIR DAY." ~dontcallmeshirley
What is your solution for a homeless woman with NOTHING.
But if her kids suffers heat stroke or worse would everyone feel the same way? Do we know she has nothing and no one? That assumption is being made bc she is homeless and left her kids in the car.
See what Velar Fricative said...she was fucked no matter what she did. Welcome to being poor in the USA.
"Not gonna lie; I kind of keep expecting you to post one day that you threw down on someone who clearly had no idea that today was NOT THEIR DAY." ~dontcallmeshirley
What is your solution for a homeless woman with NOTHING.
But if her kids suffers heat stroke or worse would everyone feel the same way? Do we know she has nothing and no one? That assumption is being made bc she is homeless and left her kids in the car.
Yes I would. She was on a job interview not in the damn club.
What is your solution for a homeless woman with NOTHING.
But if her kids suffers heat stroke or worse would everyone feel the same way? Do we know she has nothing and no one? That assumption is being made bc she is homeless and left her kids in the car.
maybe I'd judge more harshly if it was 90 out, but it sounds like it wasn't too hot or cold the day she did this and she was DESPERATE.
It must be nice that you are dripping with friends to watch your kids. I have a lot of friends but few I'd feel comfortable dumping my kids on while I went to a job interview (I'd like to stay friends ;-))
I see I am in the minority here. I just can't get past the fact she left her kids in an illegal and dangerous situation. I think she made a bad decision. How many flames do people get when they hear of a dog being left in a hot car? Maybe I have heard too many stories in the news of bad things happening when children have been left alone in a car or in a house.
I think the point is that she didn't have any good choices. People in desperate situations tend to do desperate things.
Asked anyone I knew to sit in the car with them. I can't assume that because she is homeless she has no friends. I would choose anything other than a situation where my kids could die.
how many friends do you think a homeless person has? Do you *REALLY* think that if she had another option she wouldn't have chosen it? REALLY?
These choices are so easy where you sit, aren't they?
Yes, the choice is much easier where I sit, I can't put myself in her shoes and I am very lucky for that. But I can still think that she made a poor decision and is lucky nothing worse happened. I am not burning her at the stake, I am just not as easily convinced she had no other better choice.
What is your solution for a homeless woman with NOTHING.
But if her kids suffers heat stroke or worse would everyone feel the same way? Do we know she has nothing and no one? That assumption is being made bc she is homeless and left her kids in the car.
Yes I would, I would feel horrible for her that she was in a position that her only hope of getting a job and not being homeless required her to make that choice. By no means was it a good choice but as a SAHM who has run into the childcare issue more than once I understand exactly how difficult her position is and I have resources such as a MIL who freelances and is occasionally able to help me out when her schedule allows (it has to be scheduled weeks in advance but for scheduled well ahead events it works) I would absolutely not be able to do a short notice interview because child care would get in the way.
how many friends do you think a homeless person has? Do you *REALLY* think that if she had another option she wouldn't have chosen it? REALLY?
These choices are so easy where you sit, aren't they?
Yes, the choice is much easier where I sit, I can't put myself in her shoes and I am very lucky for that. But I can still think that she made a poor decision and is lucky nothing worse happened. I am not burning her at the stake, I am just not as easily convinced she had no other better choice.
Because OF COURSE she MUST have had a better choice...everyone has a plethora of choices. Especially when they're homeless. Why on earth do you think she had another choice? You think a mother is cavalier about leaving their children alone in a car? Especially when there are other choices?
You are making judgments about her. Because she is poor, because she is homeless. Just own it your own fucking privilege.
"Not gonna lie; I kind of keep expecting you to post one day that you threw down on someone who clearly had no idea that today was NOT THEIR DAY." ~dontcallmeshirley
I see I am in the minority here. I just can't get past the fact she left her kids in an illegal and dangerous situation. I think she made a bad decision. How many flames do people get when they hear of a dog being left in a hot car? Maybe I have heard too many stories in the news of bad things happening when children have been left alone in a car or in a house.
I think the point is that she didn't have any good choices. People in desperate situations tend to do desperate things.
I can see what you mean. And I am trying to relate this to someone stealing so they don't starve. So they commit a crime but have a good reason to commit it. In a case like that I would feel bad for them unless they used violent methods and put someone in danger. And that's my hang up here, the kids were in danger.
I think the point is that she didn't have any good choices. People in desperate situations tend to do desperate things.
I can see what you mean. And I am trying to relate this to someone stealing so they don't starve. So they commit a crime but have a good reason to commit it. In a case like that I would feel bad for them unless they used violent methods and put someone in danger. And that's my hang up here, the kids were in danger.
Yes, but considering the danger women and children are sometimes in in homeless shelters, what's the worse danger? Potential, 45-minute danger aimed at bettering their lives, or continued poverty and despair?
Yes, the choice is much easier where I sit, I can't put myself in her shoes and I am very lucky for that. But I can still think that she made a poor decision and is lucky nothing worse happened. I am not burning her at the stake, I am just not as easily convinced she had no other better choice.
Because OF COURSE she MUST have had a better choice...everyone has a plethora of choices. Especially when they're homeless. Why on earth do you think she had another choice? You think a mother is cavalier about leaving their children alone in a car? Especially when there are other choices?
You are making judgments about her. Because she is poor, because she is homeless. Just own it your own fucking privilege.
Yes, the choice is much easier where I sit, I can't put myself in her shoes and I am very lucky for that. But I can still think that she made a poor decision and is lucky nothing worse happened. I am not burning her at the stake, I am just not as easily convinced she had no other better choice.
Because OF COURSE she MUST have had a better choice...everyone has a plethora of choices. Especially when they're homeless. Why on earth do you think she had another choice? You think a mother is cavalier about leaving their children alone in a car? Especially when there are other choices?
You are making judgments about her. Because she is poor, because she is homeless. Just own it your own fucking privilege.
Alright simmer down, just because I have a different opinion than you, it isn't my "fucking privilege ". I am judging her decision to put her kids in danger, poor or homeless aside her kids need to be safe.
Because OF COURSE she MUST have had a better choice...everyone has a plethora of choices. Especially when they're homeless. Why on earth do you think she had another choice? You think a mother is cavalier about leaving their children alone in a car? Especially when there are other choices?
You are making judgments about her. Because she is poor, because she is homeless. Just own it your own fucking privilege.
Alright simmer down, just because I have a different opinion than you, it isn't my "fucking privilege ". I am judging her decision to put her kids in danger, poor or homeless aside her kids need to be safe.
What option did she have that wouldn't have put her kids in danger?
Because OF COURSE she MUST have had a better choice...everyone has a plethora of choices. Especially when they're homeless. Why on earth do you think she had another choice? You think a mother is cavalier about leaving their children alone in a car? Especially when there are other choices?
You are making judgments about her. Because she is poor, because she is homeless. Just own it your own fucking privilege.
Alright simmer down, just because I have a different opinion than you, it isn't my "fucking privilege ". I am judging her decision to put her kids in danger, poor or homeless aside her kids need to be safe.
A. You can go SAT DOWN with your "simmer down" BS. B. It IS your fucking privilege. Just to make sure we're on the same page: Definition of white privilege C. So, it's your opinion that instead of trying to find a job to provide for her family and possibly make them SAFER by having an actual roof over their head, she should have just shrugged her shoulders and said "WELP, nothing I can do. I'll just get in line for assistance." I would imagine that you're probably one of those people who don't appreciate their tax dollars paying for people who can work, though.
(for all of you paying attention, I got full permission from NitaX to use SAT DOWN)
"Not gonna lie; I kind of keep expecting you to post one day that you threw down on someone who clearly had no idea that today was NOT THEIR DAY." ~dontcallmeshirley
Because OF COURSE she MUST have had a better choice...everyone has a plethora of choices. Especially when they're homeless. Why on earth do you think she had another choice? You think a mother is cavalier about leaving their children alone in a car? Especially when there are other choices?
You are making judgments about her. Because she is poor, because she is homeless. Just own it your own fucking privilege.
Alright simmer down, just because I have a different opinion than you, it isn't my "fucking privilege ". I am judging her decision to put her kids in danger, poor or homeless aside her kids need to be safe.
You do realize that the dangers from being hurt by being homeless (rape/attacks/etc) were probably greater (at least in her mind) then sitting in the car for a while.
Post by demandypants on Mar 31, 2014 11:05:45 GMT -5
to stir the pot more, lets pretend she gets the job- kids were not discovered in the car and are safe. Now what does she do with the children when she tries to work. And no one on the interwebs are aware of her plight and 60k doesn't just drop out of the sky for her to use for childcare.
I see the point sunshineluv is trying to make, and agree with it while at the same time feeling very upset for this woman who was trying to find work and having no resources to help her out of her situation. people do all kinds of things out of desperation. But it doesn't make it ok.
to stir the pot more, lets pretend she gets the job- kids were not discovered in the car and are safe. Now what does she do with the children when she tries to work. And no one on the interwebs are aware of her plight and 60k doesn't just drop out of the sky for her to use for childcare.
I see the point sunshineluv is trying to make, and agree with it while at the same time feeling very upset for this woman who was trying to find work and having no resources to help her out of her situation. people do all kinds of things out of desperation. But it doesn't make it ok.
She gets childcare assistance, mentioned earlier in this thread, which is only available if you have a job.
to stir the pot more, lets pretend she gets the job- kids were not discovered in the car and are safe. Now what does she do with the children when she tries to work. And no one on the interwebs are aware of her plight and 60k doesn't just drop out of the sky for her to use for childcare.
I see the point sunshineluv is trying to make, and agree with it while at the same time feeling very upset for this woman who was trying to find work and having no resources to help her out of her situation. people do all kinds of things out of desperation. But it doesn't make it ok.
Presumably once she is actually going to be earning a paycheck she could look for and find full time care. with no paycheck she has no resources to pay for said care, it's a catch 22, can't interview without care but can't afford care without a paycheck. She was trying to find a way out of the situation she was in and in her desperation made a poor choice. If we are going to push people in these situations to work we need to provide resources like a safe place to leave their kids for interviews and while they work.
I see I am in the minority here. I just can't get past the fact she left her kids in an illegal and dangerous situation. I think she made a bad decision. How many flames do people get when they hear of a dog being left in a hot car? Maybe I have heard too many stories in the news of bad things happening when children have been left alone in a car or in a house.
i don't think anyone thinks she made a good decision. the point is, there are no good decisions to be had.
Exactly. Of course it is dangerous to leave kids in a locked car on a relatively warm, sunny day in Arizona (or any state), windows cracked or not.
but no one is arguing that it WASNT dangerous. it was. but for her, it was the best option she had so that she could go on that interview, for what seemed like it was probably going to be an okay/decent job at an insurance company. She made the decision probably hoping that it would pay off in the end.
It just epitomizes what keeps so many trapped in poverty - you can't go to a job interview because no one will watch your kids, so you have to pass on the interview, and can't get a job, and then you dont have money for childcare, and so on. I think a lot of people think there must have been a friendly neighbor or aunt who would watch the kids for two hours free of charge, but that's not really true for a LOT of people.
This kind of reminds me of the article from a few weeks back about the college student from a poor area who didnt have options for help with tuition etc. Even IF (and thats purposely a big IF) there may be programs out there that might help a woman such as this when she needs childcare, that doesn't mean she knew about them.
Alright simmer down, just because I have a different opinion than you, it isn't my "fucking privilege ". I am judging her decision to put her kids in danger, poor or homeless aside her kids need to be safe.
A. You can go SAT DOWN with your "simmer down" BS. B. It IS your fucking privilege. Just to make sure we're on the same page: Definition of white privilege C. So, it's your opinion that instead of trying to find a job to provide for her family and possibly make them SAFER by having an actual roof over their head, she should have just shrugged her shoulders and said "WELP, nothing I can do. I'll just get in line for assistance." I would imagine that you're probably one of those people who don't appreciate their tax dollars paying for people who can work, though.
(for all of you paying attention, I got full permission from NitaX to use SAT DOWN)
So it's my white privileged not my fucking privilege?
And I am glad you can make assumptions about this lady that she was attempting to do the safest of bad options, and assumptions about me, that I don't want my tax dollars spent on people who can work. Simply because I don't agree with this woman's decision. Oh is that what my white privilege makes me think? You don't know me, or my thoughts on tax dollars and where they are spent.
Alright simmer down, just because I have a different opinion than you, it isn't my "fucking privilege ". I am judging her decision to put her kids in danger, poor or homeless aside her kids need to be safe.
A. You can go SAT DOWN with your "simmer down" BS. B. It IS your fucking privilege. Just to make sure we're on the same page: Definition of white privilege C. So, it's your opinion that instead of trying to find a job to provide for her family and possibly make them SAFER by having an actual roof over their head, she should have just shrugged her shoulders and said "WELP, nothing I can do. I'll just get in line for assistance." I would imagine that you're probably one of those people who don't appreciate their tax dollars paying for people who can work, though.
(for all of you paying attention, I got full permission from NitaX to use SAT DOWN)
I think it's safe to say everyone here feels this wasn't the best decision. But, but, but, there is something called empathy that's being expressed here.
This woman whose circumstances that we don't know (all we know is that she is homeless) made what she felt at that time was the only decision possible. Here she is trying to get a job and all of her options are bad in her mind. When your back is against the wall, you make decisions that others may deem as not being the smartest.
Also, can someone dredge up that story that explained the differences in poor people vs. better off people and their decisions. IIRC that study indicated that the decisions made were worse because how do you make decisions around needing to eat, put gas in a vehicle, when you worry about everything all day long.
So, sure, it would be great to just hang this woman out to dry because you wouldn't do the same thing. But, if you haven't seen that level of desperation in your life, well be glad.
to stir the pot more, lets pretend she gets the job- kids were not discovered in the car and are safe. Now what does she do with the children when she tries to work. And no one on the interwebs are aware of her plight and 60k doesn't just drop out of the sky for her to use for childcare.
I see the point sunshineluv is trying to make, and agree with it while at the same time feeling very upset for this woman who was trying to find work and having no resources to help her out of her situation. people do all kinds of things out of desperation. But it doesn't make it ok.
Oh, well then. She should just give up entirely. I mean, if her only choices are not fully "ok" why bother?
I have been so fortunate my entire life never to have been in a position where every.single.day I have to make another, new, potentially life altering decision where my options are shit, shittier, or shittiest. I don't admire people who break the law for their law-breaking, but I admire the fuck out of someone who gets up every morning and tries to think of a way--any way--to improve her life and the life of her children by balancing risks I am lucky not to face.
A. You can go SAT DOWN with your "simmer down" BS. B. It IS your fucking privilege. Just to make sure we're on the same page: Definition of white privilege C. So, it's your opinion that instead of trying to find a job to provide for her family and possibly make them SAFER by having an actual roof over their head, she should have just shrugged her shoulders and said "WELP, nothing I can do. I'll just get in line for assistance." I would imagine that you're probably one of those people who don't appreciate their tax dollars paying for people who can work, though.
(for all of you paying attention, I got full permission from NitaX to use SAT DOWN)
So it's my white privileged not my fucking privilege?
And I am glad you can make assumptions about this lady that she was attempting to do the safest of bad options, and assumptions about me, that I don't want my tax dollars spent on people who can work. Simply because I don't agree with this woman's decision. Oh is that what my white privilege makes me think? You don't know me, or my thoughts on tax dollars and where they are spent.
It's your white fucking privilege. YWIA! I am making assumptions about you just as you are making assumptions about the homeless woman trying to do better for her family. To your "you don't know me":
women who lack empathy for other women in difficult situations are a dime a dozen
"Not gonna lie; I kind of keep expecting you to post one day that you threw down on someone who clearly had no idea that today was NOT THEIR DAY." ~dontcallmeshirley
So it's my white privileged not my fucking privilege?
And I am glad you can make assumptions about this lady that she was attempting to do the safest of bad options, and assumptions about me, that I don't want my tax dollars spent on people who can work. Simply because I don't agree with this woman's decision. Oh is that what my white privilege makes me think? You don't know me, or my thoughts on tax dollars and where they are spent.
It's your white fucking privilege. YWIA! I am making assumptions about you just as you are making assumptions about the homeless woman trying to do better for her family. To your "you don't know me":
women who lack empathy for other women in difficult situations are a dime a dozen
Can we drop this here too? #solidarityisforwhitewomen?
Yeah she could have left her kid with someone she kinda knew. And the kid could have ended up like Relisha Rudd, whose mom entrusted her to the care of a man who was a janitor in the shelter where she lived. The poor girl has been missing for 1 month. And in that time the man she was with has been hit with a warrant for murdering his wife.
If I was homeless I might take my chances with the car knowing that story.
I have a homeless family member right now. She's lucky her kids are school aged or she'd probably be forced to make these kind of choices too.