@kirkette - TYVM for posting that documentary. I bookmarked the video to watch later. I'll be taking advantage of the technology I have available at my fingertips as a "very comfortable" upper-middle-class (technically upper income, actually) to sync my tablet with my television and watch it on my big screen in my media room.
@mx - that Rudd story broke my heart. While I was in DC, they kept airing it, and I was devastated by it. Truly devastated.
They found the body of the man Relisha was with tonight in a park. The police chief said it appears to be a suicide. I have a terrible feeling that they are going to find her body next. Horrible.
My aunt hired a woman that brought her three kids with her to an interview. We were just talking about this story today and she mentioned that she had a single mom apply for data analyst job. The woman mentioned that she didn't have child care but really needed the job. My aunt said that her resume was good enough that it was worth letting the mom bring her kids with her.
I'm not saying that this woman should have done this. But there are employers that do.
One thing that's effed up is that if she claims this money it will be declared income, which means she will likely be precluded from getting welfare or any other financial aid until she meets the "income" threshold if she was receiving any prior to this. If she has $60K received, she will not be permitted cash assistance until enough time has passed that she would have received the $60K in benefits, which could mean she's not eligible for financial assistance for several years (at least that's how it used to work.) On top of this, she will have to pay tax on this so it's more likely that it's about $40K in income, and she'll have to pay her attorneys since she will no longer qualify for legal aid because she has money. The whole thing is just a mess.
On the good side, her kids are in foster care, which means they have a roof and she will (God I hope) get an amazing amount of support in finding housing, getting financial assistance, education assistance if necessary, counseling, counseling for her kids, medical for them (and maybe for her for the time being) and a whole lot of support in getting herself on track to support her kids. Or at least that's how it's supposed to work.
Will she really have to pay tax? The money is a gift from many different people, who probably all gave less than the IRS threshold. That's effed up if she'd have to pay tax on that.
Leaving two kids in a car in Arizona could have been lethal. Obviously I have compassion for her situation, but this wasn't a situation where she forgot about those kids. They were purposefully left in the car. They could have died.
Could have been, but what was she to do? Sadly, there is not much. I am glad judgymcjudgersons are alive and well in this thread (and I am just on page 1)
I am sure that you got to my subsequent reply where I expressed compassion for her and acknowledged that she may not have had an option for a sitter.
Will she really have to pay tax? The money is a gift from many different people, who probably all gave less than the IRS threshold. That's effed up if she'd have to pay tax on that.
I didn't think so because each amount was small that was donated? Each was a gift, not the whole at once.
One thing that's effed up is that if she claims this money it will be declared income, which means she will likely be precluded from getting welfare or any other financial aid until she meets the "income" threshold if she was receiving any prior to this. If she has $60K received, she will not be permitted cash assistance until enough time has passed that she would have received the $60K in benefits, which could mean she's not eligible for financial assistance for several years (at least that's how it used to work.) On top of this, she will have to pay tax on this so it's more likely that it's about $40K in income, and she'll have to pay her attorneys since she will no longer qualify for legal aid because she has money. The whole thing is just a mess.
On the good side, her kids are in foster care, which means they have a roof and she will (God I hope) get an amazing amount of support in finding housing, getting financial assistance, education assistance if necessary, counseling, counseling for her kids, medical for them (and maybe for her for the time being) and a whole lot of support in getting herself on track to support her kids. Or at least that's how it's supposed to work.
Are you sure she will have to pay taxes on the money? I know that question was discussed previously when talking about raising funds for gbcn posters in need and everyone on MM said the person wouldn't have to pay taxes. Doesn't the gift tax not hit until a much higher amount and isn't it the giver who is taxed? Or is there some other tax she'd be subjected to?
I have never posted here before, and probably won't again, because I may get totally flamed for this but... This woman was already defeated, depressed, humiliated, before this interview. The thought of having an opportunity to get herself out of this mess overshadows how wrong this was. Don't y'all think she knew this was wrong? Just look at the mugshot does that not scream desperation?
I am only 5 pages in on this and the people that are being very judgmental of her have not once, not once mentioned
THE FATHER,
Where is he? Why hasn't he helped in supporting her in this situation? Why isn't he being the one judged? She is alone raising these children trying to do what she has to and she is being judged, while the father who helped make these children is not even mentioned.
So all you people in here think it is awful for what she did, look at the other person who made these kids and instead of judging her and raking her over the coals, AT LEAST SHE IS TRYING
I know the other parent is not mentioned in the article, but WHERE IS HE AND WHY ISN'T HE BEING PROSECUTED BY THE PUBLIC?
She was in the wrong yes, she broke the law yes, but man give the woman a break she was trying to better the life for her children.
I have been that close to homelessness myself, and to keep my kids safe I don't know that I wouldn't have made the same decision.
I have never posted here before, and probably won't again, because I may get totally flamed for this but... This woman was already defeated, depressed, humiliated, before this interview. The thought of having an opportunity to get herself out of this mess overshadows how wrong this was. Don't y'all think she knew this was wrong? Just look at the mugshot does that not scream desperation?
I am only 5 pages in on this and the people that are being very judgmental of her have not once, not once mentioned
THE FATHER,
Where is he? Why hasn't he helped in supporting her in this situation? Why isn't he being the one judged? She is alone raising these children trying to do what she has to and she is being judged, while the father who helped make these children is not even mentioned.
So all you people in here think it is awful for what she did, look at the other person who made these kids and instead of judging her and raking her over the coals, AT LEAST SHE IS TRYING
I know the other parent is not mentioned in the article, but WHERE IS HE AND WHY ISN'T HE BEING PROSECUTED BY THE PUBLIC?
She was in the wrong yes, she broke the law yes, but man give the woman a break she was trying to better the life for her children.
I have been that close to homelessness myself, and to keep my kids safe I don't know that I wouldn't have made the same decision.
To be fair, most people in this thread are not judging this woman. It is a select few who are.
Will she really have to pay tax? The money is a gift from many different people, who probably all gave less than the IRS threshold. That's effed up if she'd have to pay tax on that.
I didn't think so because each amount was small that was donated? Each was a gift, not the whole at once.
To get the money out of paypal you have to declare yourself as a small business.
I have never posted here before, and probably won't again, because I may get totally flamed for this but... This woman was already defeated, depressed, humiliated, before this interview. The thought of having an opportunity to get herself out of this mess overshadows how wrong this was. Don't y'all think she knew this was wrong? Just look at the mugshot does that not scream desperation?
I am only 5 pages in on this and the people that are being very judgmental of her have not once, not once mentioned
THE FATHER,
Where is he? Why hasn't he helped in supporting her in this situation? Why isn't he being the one judged? She is alone raising these children trying to do what she has to and she is being judged, while the father who helped make these children is not even mentioned.
So all you people in here think it is awful for what she did, look at the other person who made these kids and instead of judging her and raking her over the coals, AT LEAST SHE IS TRYING
I know the other parent is not mentioned in the article, but WHERE IS HE AND WHY ISN'T HE BEING PROSECUTED BY THE PUBLIC?
She was in the wrong yes, she broke the law yes, but man give the woman a break she was trying to better the life for her children.
I have been that close to homelessness myself, and to keep my kids safe I don't know that I wouldn't have made the same decision.
Do we know anything whatsoever about the father or fathers of these children? Is he even still alive? It's hard to judge someone if you don't even know if he exists or not.
I done told you already. #solidarityisforwhitewomen
Ain't nobody the least bit concerned because she is black. Point.blank.period. The face of the poor is black. It's also the face of lazy and should always be judged more harshly than anyone else.
Which again, I'm not sure why this thread is continuing because what mrsbpo posted should have shut this shit down. Anyone who didn't read her own testimony as to how hard it was for her needs to do so. Then you need to do a gut check and stop sitting on your high ass horse. As she said - But for the Grace of God. Even if you aren't religious - but for fate. But for a different set of circumstances. Just be thankful you don't have to face that.
To get the money out of paypal you have to declare yourself as a small business.
Really? I get money out of paypal as an individual I thought.
It's the amount of money that comes in that trips their internal alarms. They won't accept that they are donations. You have to register as a small business.
ETA: I wonder how her account was set up. Mine went directly to my paypal, which triggered the fuckery.
ETA2: If it's through paypal, paypal takes out their fees from the donations as well.
One thing that's effed up is that if she claims this money it will be declared income, which means she will likely be precluded from getting welfare or any other financial aid until she meets the "income" threshold if she was receiving any prior to this. If she has $60K received, she will not be permitted cash assistance until enough time has passed that she would have received the $60K in benefits, which could mean she's not eligible for financial assistance for several years (at least that's how it used to work.) On top of this, she will have to pay tax on this so it's more likely that it's about $40K in income, and she'll have to pay her attorneys since she will no longer qualify for legal aid because she has money. The whole thing is just a mess.
On the good side, her kids are in foster care, which means they have a roof and she will (God I hope) get an amazing amount of support in finding housing, getting financial assistance, education assistance if necessary, counseling, counseling for her kids, medical for them (and maybe for her for the time being) and a whole lot of support in getting herself on track to support her kids. Or at least that's how it's supposed to work.
Are you sure she will have to pay taxes on the money? I know that question was discussed previously when talking about raising funds for gbcn posters in need and everyone on MM said the person wouldn't have to pay taxes. Doesn't the gift tax not hit until a much higher amount and isn't it the giver who is taxed? Or is there some other tax she'd be subjected to?
I'm not sure about the tax consequences, honestly. I was looking at it as income. As it's a gift in smaller amounts from multiple people, maybe it can be exempted. But DSHS will look at it as income (all income, no matter the source, must be claimed, at least in the states I've dealt with) and will extrapolate from there how long she would be precluded from receiving benefits if she's in the system receiving cash benefits. And it may preclude her from receiving other benefits at this time as well, for the same reason.
So she's fortunate her kids are in the foster system right now. She'll get benefits through that route, to help get her back on her feet.
My aunt hired a woman that brought her three kids with her to an interview. We were just talking about this story today and she mentioned that she had a single mom apply for data analyst job. The woman mentioned that she didn't have child care but really needed the job. My aunt said that her resume was good enough that it was worth letting the mom bring her kids with her.
I'm not saying that this woman should have done this. But there are employers that do.
I was getting ready to leave my first job post-graduation (the Army was transferring my H to Germany, and we were going to be moving within the month), and I was assisting my boss in hiring someone for my position. I worked as an admin assistant at a vet med teaching hospital; obviously nothing crazy complicated, but the pay was semi-decent and I had benefits. I got a call on Friday from a woman who was supposed to interview later that afternoon. She sounded like she was at the end of her rope; in tears, trying to explain that she needed this job so badly, but the only person she could leave her children with canceled and she didn't know what to do. I knew my boss would have had a HUGE problem with someone bringing their kids to the interview, but fortunately she was out sick that day (the hospital director was planning on interviewing her). I told her to bring her kids and I would keep an eye on them while she interviewed. It wasn't bad at all-she had a 5 year old and a 3 year old, and they were very sweet kids. I let them play games on my computer and gave them printer paper to draw with until the mom came out. I felt SO badly for this poor woman. She was apologizing profusely, and she kept saying she wished she could pay me (I wouldn't have taken the money, but that's neither here nor there). She was obviously in a very rough spot, and I was so relieved when the hospital director told me he was going to hire her.
I'm not in any way, shape or form suggesting that this woman should have just sucked it up and brought her kids to the interview; I know as a general rule, that's a fantastic way to shoot yourself in the foot before the interview even begins. I just wish that a) this poor woman wasn't forced to make such a desperate choice, and b) single parents, homeless parents, etc had better (safer, affordable, etc) options for childcare in this country.
I done told you already. #solidarityisforwhitewomen
Ain't nobody the least bit concerned because she is black. Point.blank.period. The face of the poor is black. It's also the face of lazy and should always be judged more harshly than anyone else.
Which again, I'm not sure why this thread is continuing because what mrsbpo posted should have shut this shit down. Anyone who didn't read her own testimony as to how hard it was for her needs to do so. Then you need to do a gut check and stop sitting on your high ass horse. As she said - But for the Grace of God. Even if you aren't religious - but for fate. But for a different set of circumstances. Just be thankful you don't have to face that.
And if that doesn't move them. They should ponder this. Michelle Obama said that in the last job she held before becoming First Lady she had to take Sasha, who was then a newborn, to a job interview because she couldn't find child care. Michelle Obama people.
My aunt hired a woman that brought her three kids with her to an interview. We were just talking about this story today and she mentioned that she had a single mom apply for data analyst job. The woman mentioned that she didn't have child care but really needed the job. My aunt said that her resume was good enough that it was worth letting the mom bring her kids with her.
I'm not saying that this woman should have done this. But there are employers that do.
I'm not in any way, shape or form suggesting that this woman should have just sucked it up and brought her kids to the interview; I know as a general rule, that's a fantastic way to shoot yourself in the foot before the interview even begins. I just wish that a) this poor woman wasn't forced to make such a desperate choice, and b) single parents, homeless parents, etc had better (safer, affordable, etc) options for childcare in this country.
That's a great story that you shared.
And since we don't know the whole story, maybe she did call the employer and ask if she could reschedule due to no childcare and they said no. Maybe she did ask if there was any possible way that someone could watch her kids and they said no.
And since we don't know the whole story I generally air on the side of people being decent human beings and not doing stupid things unless the're desperate. There's a lot of foolishness that does happen, but in general I think most people are good people.
I'm not in any way, shape or form suggesting that this woman should have just sucked it up and brought her kids to the interview; I know as a general rule, that's a fantastic way to shoot yourself in the foot before the interview even begins. I just wish that a) this poor woman wasn't forced to make such a desperate choice, and b) single parents, homeless parents, etc had better (safer, affordable, etc) options for childcare in this country.
That's a great story that you shared.
And since we don't know the whole story, maybe she did call the employer and ask if she could reschedule due to no childcare and they said no. Maybe she did ask if there was any possible way that someone could watch her kids and they said no.
And since we don't know the whole story I generally air on the side of people being decent human beings and not doing stupid things unless the're desperate. There's a lot of foolishness that does happen, but in general I think most people are good people.
Oh, I totally agree. We have no way of knowing whether or not she called the employer. I just wanted to share that story, simply because I remember feeling very relieved that my boss wasn't in that day, because she had commented on several occasions just how "awful" it was that people thought they could show up to interviews with children. I didn't have children of my own at that point, but I remember thinking, "well, I'm pretty sure no parent ever really WANTS to bring their kids with them to an interview...they just might not have a choice." It especially bothered me because I know had she found out that I watched this woman's children for an hour, my boss would have been very upset with me (even though I was leaving in less than a month). Her attitude just struck me as being petty. I mean, I completely get that we have a job to do, but our afternoons-particularly Fridays-were always very slow, and my boss made no secret of the fact that she shopped online and forwarded jokes to people until 5pm. I was an admin assistant, not an air traffic controller, and keeping an eye on an interviewee's children for an hour wasn't a big deal at all. My boss was very much a "bootstraps" kind of person, and she was incapable of seeing things from a different point of view.
I know I'm kind of rambling right now. Bottom line, though, I really feel for this woman and I'm glad so many people are willing to donate $$ to give her a hand.
Really? I get money out of paypal as an individual I thought.
It's the amount of money that comes in that trips their internal alarms. They won't accept that they are donations. You have to register as a small business.
ETA: I wonder how her account was set up. Mine went directly to my paypal, which triggered the fuckery.
ETA2: If it's through paypal, paypal takes out their fees from the donations as well.
Ugh, really? Not to make this about you, but that really upsets me that you are having issues with that.
It's the amount of money that comes in that trips their internal alarms. They won't accept that they are donations. You have to register as a small business.
ETA: I wonder how her account was set up. Mine went directly to my paypal, which triggered the fuckery.
ETA2: If it's through paypal, paypal takes out their fees from the donations as well.
Ugh, really? Not to make this about you, but that really upsets me that you are having issues with that.
When it happened I shelved it for a couple of days, then passed it off to someone I trusted. She called in and waded through the bullshit for me. I just couldn't deal.
And since we don't know the whole story, maybe she did call the employer and ask if she could reschedule due to no childcare and they said no. Maybe she did ask if there was any possible way that someone could watch her kids and they said no.
And since we don't know the whole story I generally air on the side of people being decent human beings and not doing stupid things unless the're desperate. There's a lot of foolishness that does happen, but in general I think most people are good people.
Oh, I totally agree. We have no way of knowing whether or not she called the employer. I just wanted to share that story, simply because I remember feeling very relieved that my boss wasn't in that day, because she had commented on several occasions just how "awful" it was that people thought they could show up to interviews with children. I didn't have children of my own at that point, but I remember thinking, "well, I'm pretty sure no parent ever really WANTS to bring their kids with them to an interview...they just might not have a choice." It especially bothered me because I know had she found out that I watched this woman's children for an hour, my boss would have been very upset with me (even though I was leaving in less than a month). Her attitude just struck me as being petty. I mean, I completely get that we have a job to do, but our afternoons-particularly Fridays-were always very slow, and my boss made no secret of the fact that she shopped online and forwarded jokes to people until 5pm. I was an admin assistant, not an air traffic controller, and keeping an eye on an interviewee's children for an hour wasn't a big deal at all. My boss was very much a "bootstraps" kind of person, and she was incapable of seeing things from a different point of view.
I know I'm kind of rambling right now. Bottom line, though, I really feel for this woman and I'm glad so many people are willing to donate $$ to give her a hand.
There have been a number of times that I've babysat clients' children because they had no choice but to bring them into meetings. I would have done the same thing in your situation. We had a temp in my old office that I was pushing to be hired because I knew her living situation was rough, she was fairly well qualified and I wanted to give her a leg up. They didn't hire her though because they wanted a receptionist and she didn't have the wardrobe for "first impressions." So hire her as a back secretary dammit. But she didn't have the qualifications. I felt sooo bad that the hiring criteria was so arbitrary and unrewarding for someone who wanted and needed it so bad.
Post by penguingrrl on Apr 1, 2014 15:11:24 GMT -5
That poor woman. I can't imagine being left with no options. She did the best she could with the shitty hand she was dealt and is now paying dearly for it. I can't believe anyone in this thread thinks she had other options and didn't use them.
A. You can go SAT DOWN with your "simmer down" BS. B. It IS your fucking privilege. Just to make sure we're on the same page: Definition of white privilege C. So, it's your opinion that instead of trying to find a job to provide for her family and possibly make them SAFER by having an actual roof over their head, she should have just shrugged her shoulders and said "WELP, nothing I can do. I'll just get in line for assistance." I would imagine that you're probably one of those people who don't appreciate their tax dollars paying for people who can work, though.
(for all of you paying attention, I got full permission from NitaX to use SAT DOWN)
So it's my white privileged not my fucking privilege?
And I am glad you can make assumptions about this lady that she was attempting to do the safest of bad options, and assumptions about me, that I don't want my tax dollars spent on people who can work. Simply because I don't agree with this woman's decision. Oh is that what my white privilege makes me think? You don't know me, or my thoughts on tax dollars and where they are spent.
It's both. She is trying to work or did you is she was on an interview? We don't know you, but you don't know much about poverty, working poor or racism, it seems.