"Not gonna lie; I kind of keep expecting you to post one day that you threw down on someone who clearly had no idea that today was NOT THEIR DAY." ~dontcallmeshirley
This poor woman. I get that the officers' hands were tied, but I'm in the "what was she supposed to do" camp. There is so little compassion for parents, especially mothers, who have no options.
And I've never heard of a shelter (or even church) that offers free childcare to the homeless. It's a great idea, but to just say, "she could have found someone" is incredibly short-sighted.
So many times, the only response to "what else was she supposed to do," is only "I don't know, but not that."
They have now reached 60k. I believe the average high temperatures this time of year are in the low to mid 80's obviously too hot to be in a car but doesn't that show the level of desperation this woman must have felt to leave her kids in the car for this job interview? She is homeless with two kids FFS!! She is trying to get a damn job to feel her children and put a roof over their heads. As a result I am going to side-eye any of you who discuss her damn "options" in this situation. Especially while we sit here typing our opinions from our climate controlled homes and/or offices.
Yup. I'm sure leaving kids in the car wasn't the option she WANTED to use but felt like she HAD to.
I can't imagine the living conditions of a single Mom in a Homeless shelter. It must be so dangerous.
From what I understand, many shelters are not a safe place and/or present other challenges that make them difficult. For some, you have to show up at a certain time and hope they have a bed for you, get out at by a certain time to go God knows where. I've also heard stories of having to guard your things very closely because they are often stolen, a task that would be made difficult for two small children to care for.
I'm sure there is also a very strong fear of being reported to CPS and having your kids taken away. While many might think, well, perhaps that's better for the children, being taken by CPS is no guarantee of a nice home as much as an equally unstable upbringing jumping from home to home and never being sure what you will encounter there.
And depending on the shelter's affiliation, I wonder what kind of resources they have. Does it stay open enough that you can get there after you've fed your kids or do you have to get in line before mealtime to get a spot and then are obligated to stay less you lose your bed?
Yup. I'm sure leaving kids in the car wasn't the option she WANTED to use but felt like she HAD to.
I can't imagine the living conditions of a single Mom in a Homeless shelter. It must be so dangerous.
yah. I'm guessing she was living out of her car because there she's less likely to be raped, have her stuff (incl her car) stolen, have her kids witness people doing drugs, etc. I can see why a mom would risk leaving her kids in the car before leaving them there. She was between a rock and a hard place.
So if she were living on welfare and staying at home to care for her kids with the little money she collected there she would be vilified, but when she has to make a shitty choice in order to try to actually get a job she is also vilified. And yet people are all like, bootstraps, just 'jump' out of poverty, it's easy, yo. This is such a great example of how it ISN'T easy when everything is stacked against you.
Post by orangeblossom on Mar 31, 2014 8:31:55 GMT -5
This is heartbreaking, and I am not one bit surprised that people are lambasting her, though I am surprised it's coming from this board. People will always find something disparaging to say.
As others have said, if she could have found childcare, then obviously the kids wouldn't have been left alone. This just underscores the reality of pulling yourself out of poverty. It is hard.
Of course, in an ideal world, she shouldn't have done that, or have been forced to due it, but she did, and thankfully the children are okay. No one who is defending her is saying it's okay to leave two children in a car, but can empathize with why she did it. Can we look at the deeper reason of why she had to do it? That is the real issue. How many mugshots do you see of people with tears falling down their face? This woman is hurting.
If people didn't believe her story and were more interested in condemning her, there wouldn't be 60K raised for her legal bills.
Such a sad story. I know if I caught those kids in the car, I would have called the cops as well but I hate that this happened. Part of me also thinks that the cops do not arrest every single person that leaves their kids alone and I hope the judge has some compassion for her situation.
They don't. I've personally seen it happen in my community.
"Not gonna lie; I kind of keep expecting you to post one day that you threw down on someone who clearly had no idea that today was NOT THEIR DAY." ~dontcallmeshirley
What exactly was the temperature outside? I'm just wondering how people think the kids could have easily died.
I also feel like if you have someone you can easily drop your kids off with during the day, you probably wouldn't be living in a shelter, but what do I know.
The high in Phoenix was 80 degrees that day. Thank you for the bolded because my head is going to explode.
Thanks. I know March is about the time it starts to get warm in that area, but I wasn't sure if it was still like 65-70 outside or if it had really started to heat up.
ETA: And she cracked the windows. Which is not enough, but I'd venture to say most people would think that's sufficient and don't know the dangers about hot cars.
I am one of the first to say never leave a kid unattended in a car but I feel for this woman.
I don't imagine a homeless woman has much of a support system or she wouldn't be living out of her car, and finding somewhere to leave the kids that was safer was probably pretty impossible. I imagine the funds for drop in care weren't there if there even was a safe drop in option, any friends/family she might have were most likely working themselves, etc.
This was a very bad decision on her part that could've killed her children but in her situation I can see why she made it out of desperation.
yah. I'm guessing she was living out of her car because there she's less likely to be raped, have her stuff (incl her car) stolen, have her kids witness people doing drugs, etc. I can see why a mom would risk leaving her kids in the car before leaving them there. She was between a rock and a hard place.
I wonder if her car would be considered an asset by some organizations and disqualified her for help.
yah. I'm guessing she was living out of her car because there she's less likely to be raped, have her stuff (incl her car) stolen, have her kids witness people doing drugs, etc. I can see why a mom would risk leaving her kids in the car before leaving them there. She was between a rock and a hard place.
I wonder if her car would be considered an asset by some organizations and disqualified her for help.
"Not gonna lie; I kind of keep expecting you to post one day that you threw down on someone who clearly had no idea that today was NOT THEIR DAY." ~dontcallmeshirley
yah. I'm guessing she was living out of her car because there she's less likely to be raped, have her stuff (incl her car) stolen, have her kids witness people doing drugs, etc. I can see why a mom would risk leaving her kids in the car before leaving them there. She was between a rock and a hard place.
I wonder if her car would be considered an asset by some organizations and disqualified her for help.
Typically yes it would be considered an asset and depending on the value and what have you could push her over the cut off for help.
I wonder if her car would be considered an asset by some organizations and disqualified her for help.
that's awful...but it is AZ, after all.
I don't think that's just AZ but it might not be the case. Every organization has a process, some more detailed than others. Some just take whomever shows up. Some require documentation and a disclosure of assets. I have no idea though if homeless shelters require a disclosure of assets however or if a car is considered one.
yah. I'm guessing she was living out of her car because there she's less likely to be raped, have her stuff (incl her car) stolen, have her kids witness people doing drugs, etc. I can see why a mom would risk leaving her kids in the car before leaving them there. She was between a rock and a hard place.
I wonder if her car would be considered an asset by some organizations and disqualified her for help.
good question. I don't know. Are these programs asset-based or income-based, or both? I'd like to think zero income would qualify anyone but maybe not if they fear a bunch of lotto winners signing up and changed all the requirements.
ETA: you think she's driving an Escalade, don't you. DONT YOU.
I don't think that's just AZ but it might not be the case. Every organization has a process, some more detailed than others. Some just take whomever shows up. Some require documentation and a disclosure of assets. I have no idea though if homeless shelters require a disclosure of assets however or if a car is considered one.
ok, you're talking shelters, and I'm talking gov't assistance.. my bad.
"Not gonna lie; I kind of keep expecting you to post one day that you threw down on someone who clearly had no idea that today was NOT THEIR DAY." ~dontcallmeshirley
Just looking at the 10 day in Scotsdale, AZ - yeah there are some days in the 80s but also a few with a high of 70.
I also wonder if she thought she wouldn't be in there long. Just a guess that she was applying to something that she could have be in and out of there in 20 mins or so.
Post by Velar Fricative on Mar 31, 2014 8:52:52 GMT -5
What is a legitimate solution? Personally, I want there to be a free safe place for the children of parents like this who need to attend interviews. But we all know childcare options can be subpar for people who aren't homeless either. So to me, that points to the necessity of a better childcare system for all parents no matter what they're SES is. However, I can only imagine the backlash when such any kind of improvement to our current systems of childcare is proposed. But it's so obvious how important safe, reliable childcare is for our country, economically speaking.
What is a legitimate solution? Personally, I want there to be a free safe place for the children of parents like this who need to attend interviews. But we all know childcare options can be subpar for people who aren't homeless either. So to me, that points to the necessity of a better childcare system for all parents no matter what they're SES is. However, I can only imagine the backlash when such any kind of improvement to our current systems of childcare is proposed. But it's so obvious how important safe, reliable childcare is for our country, economically speaking.
Yep, you can't complain about 'welfare queens' while giving families shit options for child care. How can you expect someone to get a job without a safe place for their kids to go while they interview, much less actually hold a job.
Post by irishbride2 on Mar 31, 2014 8:58:16 GMT -5
I've long thought that a better use of the EITC is to instead funnel that money into government provided child care for those in need. Good quality child care that would be free to those who fit certain criteria.
I feel for this woman. I also feel for the poor kids.
What is a legitimate solution? Personally, I want there to be a free safe place for the children of parents like this who need to attend interviews. But we all know childcare options can be subpar for people who aren't homeless either. So to me, that points to the necessity of a better childcare system for all parents no matter what they're SES is. However, I can only imagine the backlash when such any kind of improvement to our current systems of childcare is proposed. But it's so obvious how important safe, reliable childcare is for our country, economically speaking.
the only thing i can think of is adoption. and that's only slightly TIC.
Post by sunshineluv on Mar 31, 2014 10:35:00 GMT -5
I see I am in the minority here. I just can't get past the fact she left her kids in an illegal and dangerous situation. I think she made a bad decision. How many flames do people get when they hear of a dog being left in a hot car? Maybe I have heard too many stories in the news of bad things happening when children have been left alone in a car or in a house.
I see I am in the minority here. I just can't get past the fact she left her kids in an illegal and dangerous situation. I think she made a bad decision. How many flames do people get when they hear of a dog being left in a hot car? Maybe I have heard too many stories in the news of bad things happening when children have been left alone in a car or in a house.
what would you have done in this situation? Homeless, no job, no child care and 2 kids and a potential job opportunity?
LOL people on this board have been pretty adamant that they wouldn't be able to serve at jury duty because they wouldn't be able to find childcare. And AFAIK none of ya'll are homeless.
I know more than one woman who leaves her kids home alone while she works because she has no reliable childcare. So this level of desperation does not surprise me. Very few people--including those with homes and employment seem to be able to find a place to leave their kids for an hour or two if they don't have regular daycare/nanny situations.
I'm one of those who wouldn't necessarily be able to do Jury Duty due to child care issues. It is dang hard to find daytime short term child care if you aren't doing regular full time daycare where I live. It's why I feel for her, I have family support, a home, and other resources and it would still be really hard to find a sitter for an interview.
I see I am in the minority here. I just can't get past the fact she left her kids in an illegal and dangerous situation. I think she made a bad decision. How many flames do people get when they hear of a dog being left in a hot car? Maybe I have heard too many stories in the news of bad things happening when children have been left alone in a car or in a house.
i don't think anyone thinks she made a good decision. the point is, there are no good decisions to be had.
I see I am in the minority here. I just can't get past the fact she left her kids in an illegal and dangerous situation. I think she made a bad decision. How many flames do people get when they hear of a dog being left in a hot car? Maybe I have heard too many stories in the news of bad things happening when children have been left alone in a car or in a house.
What is your solution for a homeless woman with NOTHING.