Epic spanking debate on 3rd Tri

[NitaX]

Jul 12, 2012 11:38:58 GMT -5 KateAggie said:

Ok....did this rub anyone else the wrong way?

Maybe you're just associating with a low socio-economic crowd? I've found that the majority of people who hit/pop/spank their children I've seen around these parts have minimal education, live below or Close to the poverty line, and are not exactly oozing class.

You jus' Low-Brow KA. Own It.

[NitaX]

Jul 12, 2012 12:20:08 GMT -5 josieposy said:

"Bahahahahahha.  Babyproofing is blocking wall sockets and locking cabinets.  I would never put things away just because I had a kid in the house.  What do you do when you visit someone who has pictures and what nots sitting around?"

She will be singing a differet tune when her twins start walking. Totally!

Fact. Naomi broke a bottle of wine the other week. Lesson: I should get my booze of the wine rack.

[NitaX]

Jul 12, 2012 13:34:31 GMT -5 MrsDL said:

What age do they start to understand "no" - or maybe the question is at what age do they listen to it? DS thinks "no" is a fun game. I'm wondering if it's a phase because he's too young to really get it, or he's just a defiant little devil? He's almost 14 months.

Honey - Naomi says "NO" back to you and she includes a pointy finger.

My oldest - there was never a need to babyproof because she didn't get into crap. Naomi - we don't call her the Tiny Tot Terrorizer for nothing.

[UMaineTeach]

Jul 12, 2012 13:00:21 GMT -5 @habbsies said:

Doesn't this also depend on the decor/how organized you are?

Because I've definately been to some houses that didn't need babyproofing if only because all their shit was all nice and neat and put away and they were minimalists besides.

I have also seen it work in the opposite, if your shit is everywhere and nothing is put way, then it's just to overwhelming a pile for the kid to tackle to find the danger, so they ignore it. (not talking dirt, just clutter)

It's those middle of the road homes that need to be BP. The ones that are carefully and intentionally decorated.

[IIOY]

Jul 12, 2012 13:46:17 GMT -5 NitaX said:

Fact. Naomi broke a bottle of wine the other week. Lesson: I should get my booze of the wine rack by drinking it immediately.

Fixed that.

[Deleted]

Jul 12, 2012 13:52:12 GMT -5 UMaineTeach said:

I have also seen it work in the opposite, if your shit is everywhere and nothing is put way, then it's just to overwhelming a pile for the kid to tackle to find the danger, so they ignore it. (not talking dirt, just clutter)

It's those middle of the road homes that need to be BP. The ones that are carefully and intentionally decorated.

::looks around at the piles of laundry, sewing shit, and still unpacked boxes::

I amend my previous statement.

[MrsDL]

Jul 12, 2012 13:38:15 GMT -5 @habbsies said:

Jul 12, 2012 13:34:31 GMT -5 MrsDL said:

What age do they start to understand "no" - or maybe the question is at what age do they listen to it? DS thinks "no" is a fun game. I'm wondering if it's a phase because he's too young to really get it, or he's just a defiant little devil? He's almost 14 months.

The issue with no is that it's meaningless without them understanding what happens when you say it.

If every time you say no, they no longer get to continue with their fun activity, they learn that no means funsuck and act accordingly (usually.)

But if no means oh mommy's not happy right now but she'll probably let me keep on trucking, then it's meaningless.

What consequences would you recommend for this age - I'm not a spanker, it's not for me. I don't see time-out working at this age, I think I've read that's more around age 2 for them to understand it as a consequence.

[One Girl In All The World]

Jul 12, 2012 13:35:50 GMT -5 @irishbride said:

DD has been a great listener for parking lots for about 9 months now. She's 2.25. 9 times out of ten, she just holds my hand and we walk. The other times she asks to be carried.

Gavin was a great listener. Then he turned three and that went all to hell.

[caden]

Jul 12, 2012 14:25:20 GMT -5 MrsDL said:

What consequences would you recommend for this age - I'm not a spanker, it's not for me. I don't see time-out working at this age, I think I've read that's more around age 2 for them to understand it as a consequence.

Around 18mo(ish, maybe before I don't remember) I put my kids in a pack n play for about 1 minute after they disobeyed. I'd tell them "No ______. If you do ____ again you'll go in the pack n play." (I'd also usually redirect them so they'd know for sure what I was asking them to do.) If they did it again they went in the pack n play. They pretty much always disobeyed at first. I had to consistently do it for a few weeks, but now they get it just fine and most of the time obey. If not, they still go back in the pack n play. It works for us. A time out on a chair or in a corner or something wouldn't work in our case. But the pack n play containment area does the trick. I think whatever you decide, as long as you're consistent, will be fine. GL!

ETA: I just saw your ticker. Your kiddo might still be a little young. At that age maybe just redirecting him and giving him a sad "no that's bad" looking face is fine. Unless you think he understands well. I know my kids didn't at that age, and I didn't want to start punishments until I knew they were actually disobeying and not just misunderstanding. I waited a bit too long though and my kids were starting to be really bad. You know better than anyone though what he's capable of understanding. Again, GL!

[taratru]

I never babyproofed anything really with my first two, so didn't do much for the second. A few days ago she stuck her finger in a socket and got zapped. The scream was horrible and she kept saying "owie finger" but I'll be damned if she hasn't been near a socket since.

[Deleted]

Jul 12, 2012 14:25:20 GMT -5 MrsDL said:

What consequences would you recommend for this age - I'm not a spanker, it's not for me. I don't see time-out working at this age, I think I've read that's more around age 2 for them to understand it as a consequence.

A quick sit on the corner of the couch is all. And by quick sit, I mean sitting him down in the corner of the couch, getting to his level and saying, no, we don't hit.

And then when he gets up to leave, letting him.

At 14 months, they can't handle much more than that anyway. All your doing is establishing the word no and redirecting.

[One Girl In All The World]

Jul 12, 2012 14:35:48 GMT -5 taratru said:

I never babyproofed anything really with my first two, so didn't do much for the second. A few days ago she stuck her finger in a socket and got zapped. The scream was horrible and she kept saying "owie finger" but I'll be damned if she hasn't been near a socket since.

Sounds familiar. Just last week Gavin decided now would be a good time to test whether or not we mean it if the stove is hot. Burned the crap out of all four fingers on his hand. Now he tells everyone who will listen that the stove is hot.

[penguingrrl]

Jul 12, 2012 14:25:20 GMT -5 MrsDL said:

Jul 12, 2012 13:38:15 GMT -5 @habbsies said:

The issue with no is that it's meaningless without them understanding what happens when you say it.

If every time you say no, they no longer get to continue with their fun activity, they learn that no means funsuck and act accordingly (usually.)

But if no means oh mommy's not happy right now but she'll probably let me keep on trucking, then it's meaningless.

What consequences would you recommend for this age - I'm not a spanker, it's not for me. I don't see time-out working at this age, I think I've read that's more around age 2 for them to understand it as a consequence.

At that age we would remove them from the situation. If it was a really bad thing (i.e. could hurt them and/or others) then it got a "no, that's naughty." If it's just typical toddler behavior and curiosity redirection worked well.

[mominatrix]

Jul 12, 2012 14:25:20 GMT -5 MrsDL said:

Jul 12, 2012 13:38:15 GMT -5 @habbsies said:

The issue with no is that it's meaningless without them understanding what happens when you say it.

If every time you say no, they no longer get to continue with their fun activity, they learn that no means funsuck and act accordingly (usually.)

But if no means oh mommy's not happy right now but she'll probably let me keep on trucking, then it's meaningless.

What consequences would you recommend for this age - I'm not a spanker, it's not for me. I don't see time-out working at this age, I think I've read that's more around age 2 for them to understand it as a consequence.

See, I've discovered, at least for my kids, that ” no” doesn't work, like at.all. But telling them to do something does.

So... I don't say, ” no running in parking lots”, but I tell them to touch the car (which they do) then touch me, daddy, the cart, each other, whatever. If I give them something affirmative to do, it causes less problems from the get go.

Sent from my HTC Glacier using ProBoards... So excuse any wonky autocorrect.

[mominatrix]

And, say we're in the mall and one is running off, I get them to come back not by screaming ” no”, but by asking for a high five, etc.

Sent from my HTC Glacier using ProBoards... So excuse any wonky autocorrect.

[UMaineTeach]

Jul 12, 2012 15:31:03 GMT -5 mominatrix said:

And, say we're in the mall and one is running off, I get them to come back not by screaming ” no”, but by asking for a high five, etc.

requesting an incompatible behavior, it's a real in the behavior manual thing.
and I love when it works.

[thejackpot]

Jul 12, 2012 11:20:15 GMT -5 pamela said:

Jul 12, 2012 11:13:25 GMT -5 KateAggie said:

Can someone rationally tell me why it's not OK to swat my toddler's hand when she puts it somewhere dangerous?

Because you are going to harm them psychologically for life and it teaches them that hitting is okay and they are going to hit all their friends and you.

[/b]

This is ridiculous. Exaggerate much?

[Knight]

I'm really trying to follow all this but Pixy's sig keeps distracting me. I give up.

[pixy0stix]

Jul 12, 2012 15:43:25 GMT -5 Knight said:

I'm really trying to follow all this but Pixy's sig keeps distracting me. I give up.

You're welcome.

[emisi]

Jul 12, 2012 11:06:40 GMT -5 Kristinmo said:

It only took to page 2 for someone to threaten CPS

Heh, how do you call CPS over a kid that's not actually born yet?

[Deleted]

Jul 12, 2012 12:03:32 GMT -5 laurenpetro said:

Jul 12, 2012 11:17:22 GMT -5 NitaX said:

Laurenpetro - Here's where I found the image: dearharrison.com/free-the-leash-kids/

BWAHAHAHA!!! this may be my favorite part:

The way I see it, a leash is a tool for controlling an animal who cannot understand verbal expectations. We use them on dogs and horses because physical communication is the primary way we manage animal behavior.

Children, on the other hand, are capable of learning based on spoken expectations and should be “trained” to respond to our verbal directions. Is it a pain sometimes? Yes. But adding a leash to the mix — in my personal opinion — is a socially acceptable way of relinquishing the responsibility that we have to communicate and enforce our set boundaries.

my kids don't listen to a fucking word i say. will they eventually? i hope so. in the meantime i'm leashing those shitheads up so i can walk 5' on a boardwalk without fear of a childrapist scooping them up after they've taken off like they challenged usain bolt in the 100m.

Oh my god, I laughed out loud. Amazeballs.

FTR, I don't judge leashes or even most spanking (though I don't plan on doing it myself). I don't think this woman will turn out psychopaths, but I sure as hell wouldn't want to grow up in her house.

[Deleted]

Jul 12, 2012 15:43:53 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

Jul 12, 2012 15:43:25 GMT -5 Knight said:

I'm really trying to follow all this but Pixy's sig keeps distracting me. I give up.

You're welcome.

The fuck, Alcide?

I'll take it.

[meshaliuknits]

You find something that works for your kid, more power to you.

I hate taking my kid to the store. She wants to walk without holding hands & looses her shit if I attempt to put her in a cart. Wrestling her into a stroller results on her loosing her shit about 50% of the time. Judging from the way she looses her mind when I put a shirt on her, I suspect a leash wouldn't go over well either.

I tell BabyLiu 'no' and she throws herself down crying. Every single time. It's weird.

Sent from my EVO