Post by melindafelinda on Apr 15, 2014 21:15:24 GMT -5
This is so bizarre because the OP of the jlm thread is (presumably) normal. So really someone shouldn't be bothered by being named a "suspect." BUT, people (ahem, 11D) got all weird about it by declaring information and then spreading false information for no reason. Which I'm guessing was not really malicious, but the gossipy nature of it pissed Sara off thereby spawning this thread and somehow then pissing 11D off. All because a hunch about something that really doesn't matter in the long run because, as I said, the original OP is probably totally cool.
This is so bizarre because the OP of the jlm thread is (presumably) normal. So really someone shouldn't be bothered by being named a "suspect." BUT, people (ahem, 11D) got all weird about it by declaring information and then spreading false information for no reason. Which I'm guessing was not really malicious, but the gossipy nature of it pissed Sara off thereby spawning this thread and somehow then pissing 11D off. All because a hunch about something that really doesn't matter in the long run because, as I said, the original OP is probably totally cool.
maybe you're different than i am, but i find it off putting that you would say things about someone you have shown care and concern for on and off the boards over the last several years in order to satiate your need to be in the middle of drama. your making baseless claims with seemingly no other purpose than the one previously stated is a fucking dick thing to do in an effort to hedge your bets and say "i knew it!" when whoever it was reveals who they are.
My exact words:
"lol I believe it's saraandmichael. I don't want to out her on ML specifically but her and I were JLM 'friends' on facebook right up until it got deleted. And Booby and her are friends and chat and vacation together, so that's my theory."
You have taken my words and created some horrible intention. I do and have cared about you. Your post here indicates to me that you do not share that same care or concern for me. I screwed up. It wasn't some big "let's chat about sara behind her back" conspiracy. If you did have some sense of caring, maybe your post wouldn't have been so fucking hostile. And thanks for taking that extra step of unfriending me of f/b.
I have taken your words at face value.
Apr 15, 2014 16:46:25 GMT -4 11d said: and I'm confident I know who the OP is. And no, it's not DC.
I doubt you would want me to spill. Your statement was no less vague than mine!
you said you were confident that you knew who it was (and i will ask for the third or fourth time what has led you to believe that). confidence means that you are certain. as in, having no doubts. and then you not only used that confidence as bait to get attention, but you said my name as someone that did something for certain.
i didn't make anything more out of your statements and your actions then you had intended them. only you were wrong, which sucks for you because you obviously wanted to be right.
my post here indicates that i am angry that you would act so callously toward me for your own strange dramatic, attention grabbing benefit. and if you truly believed that you screwed up (by your actions, and not just that your baseless guess was wrong), you'd have apologized instead of getting defensive and trying to completely deflect and make it such that i am overreacting and uncaring for being hostile toward you.
and i unfriended you on fb because, honestly, there isn't any real point to keeping my life open to someone that doesn't have the decency to ask me a question and instead makes assumptions based on nothing.
This is so bizarre because the OP of the jlm thread is (presumably) normal. So really someone shouldn't be bothered by being named a "suspect." BUT, people (ahem, 11D) got all weird about it by declaring information and then spreading false information for no reason. Which I'm guessing was not really malicious, but the gossipy nature of it pissed Sara off thereby spawning this thread and somehow then pissing 11D off. All because a hunch about something that really doesn't matter in the long run because, as I said, the original OP is probably totally cool.
completely.
i know its making a bigger deal out of it then it is (or was), but it was just so fucking tasteless (not the post, the gossiping shit). i mean, it would have taken 13 seconds to im me and ask if i had posted that thread (which someone else totally asked me) instead of getting all into being dramatic about it.
i don't know...that kind of shit just rubs me the wrong way. i try to make it a point to be an adult and ask pointed questions when i have them instead of dangling shit out there for people to read and try to coax shit out of me.
I doubt you would want me to spill. Your statement was no less vague than mine!
you said you were confident that you knew who it was (and i will ask for the third or fourth time what has led you to believe that). confidence means that you are certain. as in, having no doubts. and then you not only used that confidence as bait to get attention, but you said my name as someone that did something for certain.
i didn't make anything more out of your statements and your actions then you had intended them. only you were wrong, which sucks for you because you obviously wanted to be right.
my post here indicates that i am angry that you would act so callously toward me for your own strange dramatic, attention grabbing benefit. and if you truly believed that you screwed up (by your actions, and not just that your baseless guess was wrong), you'd have apologized instead of getting defensive and trying to completely deflect and make it such that i am overreacting and uncaring for being hostile toward you.
and i unfriended you on fb because, honestly, there isn't any real point to keeping my life open to someone that doesn't have the decency to ask me a question and instead makes assumptions based on nothing.
#1 - and probably the most important point: I am apologizing for the actions, not that my guess was wrong. I honestly don't care if I'm wrong. I am sorry.
#2 - my supposed confidence was based on exactly what I told grace. It was fishy that booby posted her post immediately so that had me thinking (clearly, incorrectly) about who was left as friends with JLM. You are the only one I believe that Booby communicates with out of those people.
#3 - I don't know why you think I was so callous or malicious.
#4 - I DID apologize to you and explained. It wasn't good enough and you keep coming at me.
I'm a bit dumbfounded that you have taken it to this level, to be honest. And really, fucking hurt. I have shown you, for 7 years, a ton of love and support. Seven fucking years. And this is how it blows up? Is there something more that I have done to you?
i just read everything you posted in this thread and see absolutely not even a shred of an apology. you did say "i screwed up", but that is the extent of your acknowledgment that you did anything wrong. which, its totally cool if you think you didn't but i (obviously) disagree.
however, a normal reaction to thinking "hmmm...booby posted something that makes me think saraandmichael did this" would be to ask me about it? i mean, i'm pretty open and honest and not difficult to approach. it wouldn't have taken much to inquire.
i think it was callous because you totally disregarded that it's sneaky to proclaim that you know something and make a public statement about it, and then tell others your postulation that is based on zero fact. it was malicious because you were perpetuating an unfounded rumor based on a hunch. regardless of how petty a post it was, it would have been best to act like a damn adult instead of a middle school aged girl that just wanted to gossip and make shit up as a way to scream "look at meeeeeee!"
and, again, you did not apologize. not once. perhaps you should read back through your posts here to understand that?
finally, it is so typically you that you turn this into something about you and your feelings and how hurt it makes you. has it occurred to you that your actions were hurtful? and i may have been more overt in my dealing about it, but it seemed appropriate to say something directly to you instead of to others about you.
to put it into simpler words, it felt like you were starting shit for the sake of being in the epicenter of something big that was happening here and i was just a simple, easy piece of collateral that might be able to fuel your fire and make you relevant. and i have a bit of a low tolerance for that kind of fuckery.
What will it take for everyone to learn that you can't make vague sex-of-RachMatt's-baby posts if you don't have the balls to name names and/or the evidence to prove it?
I'll admit that I also started thinking of @booby's friends once I read her vouching post, but like I said in that thread, it really doesn't matter who the OP is anyway. Outing her would potentially cause more harm than good, so why even bother openly speculating?
1. Naming Sara was not, in and of itself, a big deal. As Sara has acknowledged, the OP does not come off as crazy, so it isn't really insulting to be compared to her.
2. I agree, however, that 11D posting she was "certain" she knew was odd and AW-ish. I don't think it makes the message malicious, but it was attention whorish at the expense of Sara.
3. I assume when Sara posted this she had nothing to go on but 11D's public statement she was "certain." Which did imply a degree of inside information. Which the message refutes, but I am assuming Sara didn't have the whole message, and the information she did have certainly made it reasonable to conclude 11D was misrepresenting that she had inside knowledge or a confession.
4. I COMPLETELY understand Sara being pissed. I probably would be too. The level of anger does not seem really commensurate with the crime, but, it does not seem unreasonable if all Sara knew was a11D was saying she was "certain" it was her.
5. 11D STILL hasn't apologized. Which, come on. We all gossip, but if you get caught red handed and it has clearly hurt someone, step up and say you're sorry.
6. Who is the little bitch who went running to Sara to tell her this? Because what Sara was told and what 11D said are not close to each other, and it sure seems like someone was just stirring up trouble.
Post by saraandmichael on Apr 16, 2014 7:42:21 GMT -5
well I clearly came unglued last night.
11d, I am sorry for not speaking to you privately about it and for assuming your intent.
while i don't wish to excuse my behavior, i will say that the whole situation that this stemmed from is prickly for me. it stirs up a lot of different emotions and i was obviously ill-equipped to handle them yesterday. i'm not in the right frame of mind these days and i allowed that to lead my posts last night. i'll not do that again.