S/O working vs SAH: am I just lazy?

[Velar Fricative]

That sounds a lot like my day too so if we're lazy, at least we can link arms and be lazy together.

[212]

Um, just reading that made me tired.

Confession: I couldn't be a working mom unless I outsourced pretty much everything outside of work. I'm not a good multitasker and when I was working full time and managing our house/social calendar (pre-baby) I was a mizzzzzzzz human. I don't know how you girls do it. I'm in awe.

I think the sucky part of being a mom (working or sahm) is the constant go-go-go-crrrrrrash cycle. So I vote normal.

[cosmos]

Us lawyers have a fucked up idea of what's normal.

[badgergrl]

Apr 16, 2014 7:25:38 GMT -5 cosmos said:

Us lawyers have a fucked up idea of what's normal.

Yup, exactly this. I don't think too many other professions bring home2-5+ hours of work a night to try to fit in somewhere.

plus, what other profession doesn't count hours where one is completing work necessary to ones job and where one in in their office as work?  The billable hour thing means even if you are in the office 10 hours a day, likely only 7 "count" and you have just "wasted" 3 hours.

[Velar Fricative]

Apr 16, 2014 7:24:45 GMT -5 212 said:

Um, just reading that made me tired.

Confession: I couldn't be a working mom unless I outsourced pretty much everything outside of work. I'm not a good multitasker and when I was working full time and managing our house/social calendar (pre-baby) I was a mizzzzzzzz human. I don't know how you girls do it. I'm in awe.

I think the sucky part of being a mom (working or sahm) is the constant go-go-go-crrrrrrash cycle. So I vote normal.

This is why I probably would stop paying my mortgage before we gave up the cleaning lady. The cleaning lady budget line might as well be etched in stone.

[Deleted]

No way. What sane person with a social life or hobbies, etc. actually *wants* to work after 9 pm? You might do it because of the money but that's about it. I personally want to be in bed by then reading my book, lol.

[Deleted]

Apr 16, 2014 7:24:45 GMT -5 212 said:

Um, just reading that made me tired.

Confession: I couldn't be a working mom unless I outsourced pretty much everything outside of work. I'm not a good multitasker and when I was working full time and managing our house/social calendar (pre-baby) I was a mizzzzzzzz human. I don't know how you girls do it. I'm in awe.

I think the sucky part of being a mom (working or sahm) is the constant go-go-go-crrrrrrash cycle. So I vote normal.

I'm the same way. I would have done it though if I had found the right career before having kids but I missed that boat. 

[ECB]

Um. Dude.

8:30-5- work, working through lunch because I now have an abbreviated workday.

I work 7:45 - 4:15 everyday.  I'm home by 4:45.  And I was in bed by 9:30. 

You think you're lazy? Really? 

ETA: Granted, I don't make a ton of $$.  I'm at this job very specifically because of the flexibility it affords me! 

[MadamePresident]

Not lazy at all. I would count walking home from daycare as exercise. I live in the suburbs and my longest walk is from the grocery store to my car in the parking lot.

[212]

Apr 16, 2014 7:42:53 GMT -5 @littlemoxie said:

Apr 16, 2014 7:35:38 GMT -5 littlespitfire said:

I think part of my laziness feeling is because on the 5:15 ferry, one guy turned to another and said "this is the slacker ferry. Everyone here had to leave work at 5 on the dot to be on this ferry."

I LOVE being on the slacker ferry!

Don't let those assholes bring you down. Seriously, part of why I'm glad to be out of the NYC area is that workers seem to compete for who works the most and is most miserable. Not a prize I want to compete for, much less win.

You have a loooong day and I don't think anyone here would think you are a slacker or expect you to put more on your plate.

Moxie is onto something here. The working culture here is total bullshit. My husband "wins" this mentality on a pretty consistent basis. Congratufuckinglations to him. His prize is a high-five to the face from yours truly.

[cosmos]

Apr 16, 2014 7:24:45 GMT -5 212 said:

Um, just reading that made me tired.

Confession: I couldn't be a working mom unless I outsourced pretty much everything outside of work. I'm not a good multitasker and when I was working full time and managing our house/social calendar (pre-baby) I was a mizzzzzzzz human. I don't know how you girls do it. I'm in awe.

I think the sucky part of being a mom (working or sahm) is the constant go-go-go-crrrrrrash cycle. So I vote normal.

And id go BSC if I were a SAHM because I vastly prefer to outsource house crap than do it myself. I'm miserable when I stay in all day doing housework

[Deleted]

Not lazy. A long commute plus running herd on a toddler after that commute can really take its toll on anyone.

My job is pretty low-stress, but I drive an hour total each way (I have to take a different route to get to daycare so it significantly adds to my commute) and I get up around 530 or 545. Last night I went to bed at 930. I was exhausted.

It is hard working FT. It is hard working FT with children. It can really wear you down. My saving grace is that DS goes to bed at 7, so that gives me downtime in the evenings, and I never, ever have to take work home. If DS went to bed an hour later and I had to work after he went to sleep, I'd be a lot crankier than I am usually, lol.

so, no, you are not lazy. You are trying to do the best you can.

[leonard131]

Looks pretty normal to me but I think my normal is skewed because I also work long hours. I think this type of schedule is just more the norm in larger cities where people are expected to work longer hours and the commutes are longer. And of course you crazy law people :-).

You pretty much posted my schedule, down to the laundry, except I get up at 5:30 these days to workout because lunch time workouts are out the door. Lunch is now spent working. Last night I looked at the clock and H and I were sitting down for "dinner" (said loosely becaue it was cereal) at 8:30 and then we both spent an hour doing work emails and follow up stuff. What I can't imagine is having to do too much stuff that requires a lot of brain power like you do after 9. I leave all my "fluff" work for when I get home. The stuff that is quick answers and doesn't require much thought.

Short answer- HELL NO you are not lazy!

[rupertpenny]

Not lazy. I work strictly 9-5, my commute is a 10 minute walk, and picked a career that is impossible to do from home and I'm still overwhelmed.

My H isn't working at the moment so he does a lot of cooking and laundry and we don't have do daycare stuff and we are still exhausted. When he gets a job we will outsource pretty much everything and possibly have live in help someday. The idea of line in didn't appeal to me before I started working but now it sounds awesome.

[dancingirl21]

Normal. I leave the house at 715, get home around 515, feed and play with J until H gets home, we both get him ready for bed and he's down by 730. Then I make dinner which means we are usually eating around 830. 30 minutes of TV, clean up the kitchen, shower and in bed by 10. It's exhausting and I feel like a hamster on a wheel many days.

[whitepicketfence]

You are SO not lazy. The days I work, I feel like I'm going to collapse by about 7 pm. I would honestly never be able to work FT with young kids at home; I'm just not cut out for it.

[212]

Apr 16, 2014 7:55:45 GMT -5 cosmos said:

Apr 16, 2014 7:24:45 GMT -5 212 said:

Um, just reading that made me tired.

Confession: I couldn't be a working mom unless I outsourced pretty much everything outside of work. I'm not a good multitasker and when I was working full time and managing our house/social calendar (pre-baby) I was a mizzzzzzzz human. I don't know how you girls do it. I'm in awe.

I think the sucky part of being a mom (working or sahm) is the constant go-go-go-crrrrrrash cycle. So I vote normal.

And id go BSC if I were a SAHM because I vastly prefer to outsource house crap than do it myself. I'm miserable when I stay in all day doing housework

There's very little housework when you live in a mostly empty apartment. ::evil laugh::

[elocrates]

This is totally my normal.

Except last night I just couldn't keep my eyes open when I was trying to get my evening work done and fell asleep while I was doing paperwork. So this morning I'm in "crap, I'm so far behind" mode.

[Deleted]

I was just lurking on this thread b/c I'm bored, but 212 made me spit out my tea with "congratufuckinglations." I am stealing this phrase.

[212]

Apr 16, 2014 8:23:19 GMT -5 @supergreen said:

I was just lurking on this thread b/c I'm bored, but 212 made me spit out my tea with "congratufuckinglations." I am stealing this phrase.

Sorry about that!

[teatimefor2]

Apr 16, 2014 7:41:01 GMT -5 @lcap said:

Apr 16, 2014 7:24:45 GMT -5 212 said:

Um, just reading that made me tired.

Confession: I couldn't be a working mom unless I outsourced pretty much everything outside of work. I'm not a good multitasker and when I was working full time and managing our house/social calendar (pre-baby) I was a mizzzzzzzz human. I don't know how you girls do it. I'm in awe.

I think the sucky part of being a mom (working or sahm) is the constant go-go-go-crrrrrrash cycle. So I vote normal.

I'm the same way. I would have done it though if I had found the right career before having kids but I missed that boat. 

Add me to this list. I would like to go back to work one day. I really enjoyed what I did, but when all our future children are in school. DH and I have already agreed to outsource nearly everything.

But my career is very family friendly and I expect to only work 30 hours or so.

[undecidedowl]

I hate living in a country where working standard hours and leaving 'on time' is considered lazy. I don't care enough to not be 'lazy' by this definition.

OP, taking work home and starting it at 9 is hell, not lazy.

[Deleted]

Laundry rarely gets done during the week for us.

We had food for dinner last night because our nanny went to the grocery store (I could get used to this).

I have fallen asleep on the sofa every weekday for the last 2 weeks before 10:00.

I rarely do work at home. I'm more likely to do it in the morning because I'm so tired at night.

[Deleted]

Apr 16, 2014 9:07:19 GMT -5 @littlemoxie said:

Apr 16, 2014 8:42:34 GMT -5 @vicmo said:

The martyr "who works hardest? It's me! It's me!" bullshit thing is my least favourite part of working. I found it very common in big 4 accounting - I don't know if it was a billable hour thing or just an asshole thing.

Ugh.  I just had a flashback to meeting up with law school friends at a bar one day and a guy saunters in late all "I billed 263 hours this month so far."  This was like our standard talk!  I think a bit of it may be asshole, but more the billable hour thing, the stress of the city and job, and the types of personalities (overachiever) attracted to big law.  Give overachievers an easy target (more hours) and they will be so happy to focus on that and brag about it.  I can see the same in big 4 accounting.

I could never compete on hours. Ever. My hours were always low (not always below target, but never 240+). I am so much happier that I'm now intrinsically rewarded for being efficient. I get my sh*t done, I don't have to take it home. Woot!

[elcjet]

Um, Slacker Ferry if you went home to some Eggo Waffles and Chopped.

I thought you were joking when you asked if you were lazy. Um, you have no time for anything else! I feel much the same, although my workload has lightened and I can go to bed right after the kids.....

[Deleted]

I'm exhausted just reading all that.

You're not lazy, at all. I work 6:30 am - 5 pm, but I have flex scheduling for a half day on Friday. That makes a huge different in getting things done and having time to myself from 11 am to whenever I feel like picking O up from daycare. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have that day to do literally all the things.

Do you feel fulfilled in your work? I don't think hefty work schedules are a negative thing unless you really feel like it's draining your soul.

[sneetch]

Not lazy! My maternity leave ends in 4 weeks and I am panicking at the thought of trying to get everything done in a day.

[shellbear09]

Normal. I can't imagine having to do work at home after my long day similar to yours. I know those hours are part of your profession usually but that super sucks plus the long commute which I can commiserate with. I am usually done with everything about 8:30pm and get a chance to do what I want before bed. I feel lazy because I guess I could exercise then but I usually just veg with tv or something. All I do is look forward to weekends.

[Marmee]

Yeah, you are not lazy at all. I think you work more than my H & I combined. You should see my schedule..lol.

[zarapipe]

You are an over achiever Not lazy