Major Holidays - How Do and DH You Spend Them?

[MrsMB]

Primarily Thanksgiving and Christmas.....how do you spend them and who are you with? If your family and DH's family live far apart from each other, how do you split the time?

Just curious.

[HoneySpider]

We are in TX, my family is in NJ, DH's is in Chicago.

The last 2 years we've stayed here because I got tired of being the ones to travel and spend $$$ on airfare. My parents actually came here for Thanksgiving this past year which was really nice.

Previous years we have split and done one holiday with one family, the other with the other, and then reverse the next year.

The years before that we lived in AZ and were too poor to buy the airfare to go home. We spent 2 Christmases in Vegas since it was close and so cheap.

I know it was our decision to move away but I also think it really sucks that we are ALWAYS the ones expected to travel. Airfare is really expensive for the holidays, plus we usually end up taking time off of work.

[mrssandro]

DH parents are local.

My dad is in Okie and usually I head up there for Thanksgiving. If we are all healthy other wise we spend it with DH's family.

Christmas is usually at my house since I have a kid now. So Christmas morning is done at my house but still have a Christmas party at my inlaws.

All the other misc holidays are done with my inlaws.

[tacocat]

Both of our parents are local. We were usually do lunch at my parents' house because two of my sisters have young kids and that way they're not out late.

Both of my sisters' in-laws are local too, which is nice, but makes it a little more complicated to work around everyone's schedules.

[D2M]

Now that we live in the same city as my family, we end up doing more stuff with them. We have spent a LOT of Christmases, however, with H's family over the years, even though they don't actually celebrate Christmas. (They put up a tree and they come with me to Christmas morning mass, though -- they are really great.) This past year, we spent Christmas morning/day with my family and then flew out Christmas night to the ILs, where we stayed until New Year's Day. That worked out really well, so I'm going to advocate for similar arrangements in future years, especially since Christmas night flights are way cheaper than any other time.

For Thanksgiving, we always go to my mom's. My H's family has a huge get together but a) flights are $$$ and b) it's a 100 percent vegetarian spread and my H loves turkey. The man likes to think with his belly. Fine by me.

[luv2rn4fun]

Both of our parents are "local" (my mom is right down the street, my dad is about 1.5 hrs away (no traffic), and DH's parents have a house about 1 hr away but are retiring/living primarily 4 hours away).

For the longest time we did Thanksgiving with DH's family (at house 1 hour away and then went to the other house for a little getaway). We always spend Christmas Eve with my dad and Christmas day with DH's family at his aunt/uncle's house.

This year we did Thanksgiving at my aunt's house with my mom's family and Christmas as normal. We have also been lucky that my mom doesn't really care if we spend the actual holiday with her just so long as we celebrate with her at some point (she always worked the holidays when we were growing up to make extra money).

Now that we have a little one on the way, things are about to change. I will not compromise on us waking up on Christmas morning at our house. Not sure how that fits in and if we will still make it to my dad's house for Christmas Eve (definitely not going to be possible this year). So far I'm thinking of having a potluck Thanksgiving at our house and also doing the same for Christmas day. In the future we will probably rotate Thanksgiving and always do Christmas at our house.

[melsamoony]

My parents live very close and H's parents live within an hour's drive. We do Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve with one family and then Christmas day with the other and then rotate each year. It has worked out very well so far. This will be our first holiday season with a baby so we will see how things go.

Usually we spend the night with whatever family we are spending Christmas Day with. Even though that is our plan for this year, things may change depending on the baby's schedule and needs. We are pretty flexible.

For all other holidays we just go wherever we are able, whenever we are able. For Easter we plan to go to my parents' house one day and my in-law's the other.

[wanderingenough]

We rotate visiting my parents and his. This past year we got his family to come to us for Thanksgiving. When we have kids, I'd like them to come to us more if they can.

[katiek]

We usually have two celebrations for each holiday every year. Our parents are both local (for now, the ILs are moving to Chicago for the school year soon). My parents are doing Easter on Saturday, then we're going to church with the ILs and having dinner on Sunday with them. We usually do Christmas Eve with the ILs and Christmas day with my family. H's family does Canadian Thanksgiving on Sunday, while mine does it on the actual Thanksgiving Monday. Then we celebrate American Thanksgiving with my family (usually on Friday or Saturday, since we don't get time off), and his doesn't celebrate.

My parents and ILs are friends, so sometimes we do joint celebrations, because none of our extended family is nearby. I cooked my first Thanksgiving dinner when I was 12 for the ILs, at which FIL started discussing a dowry, lol.

It usually works out, but it will absolutely be more difficult with the ILs being in Chicago for most of the year and with a baby.

[awick14]

We celebrate all holidays with both sides as we live local.

Thanksgiving- we do dinner with my family on Sunday, and dh's family varies every year.

Christmas- we do Christmas Eve with dh's family, Christmas morning and dinner with my family, and usually see dh's family for 1-2 hrs in the afternoon.

[elliemonster21]

We are all in Illinois thankfully (well..minusing out H's sister just moved to Austin), but our families are literally a good 60 miles apart! I kinda hate the big holidays for this reason because half of our day is spent in the car

HoneySpider let a girl know when you are visiting DH's fam here in chicago!

[pooh8402]

We typically alternate, but we have 3 families to split our holidays (my parents are divorced) plus I have to work holidays, so it is a huge juggling act. DH likes thanksgiving best, so if I'm off and he wants to do thanksgiving with his family, I am all for it so I can spend Christmas with mine.

[estrellita]

We have been alternating thanksgiving. My family gets together about 2 hours from here so we can't do both. For Christmas, h's family gets together on Christmas Eve but we both work and they won't do it late enough. MIL wants to change this though. Mostly because Christmas is spent mostly with my family and we try too squeeze in seeing his parents on the way back and it's getting to be a lot. Things will only get worse when we have kids..

At least my family does Easter on Sat so we can see his family on Sun!

[grover]

Our parents live approximately 10 minutes from each other.

Thanksgiving: We tried alternating dinner at one side and dessert with the other side while dating/engaged. MIL decided to start celebrating the weekend before. So now weekend before we do dinner with IL and the day of we do Thanksgiving with my family.

Christmas: Christmas Eve with my family (mom's extended family), Christmas morning with my family for presents, brunch with his family, then dinner with my dad's extended family. Busy busy busy.

[grover]

Apr 16, 2014 10:03:41 GMT -5 elliemonster21 said:

HoneySpider let a girl know when you are visiting DH's fam here in chicago!

water cooler GTG!

[ewall]

We do what we want! Thanksgiving is a toss up - either my family or his. Same with Christmas. If we spend Christmas with one family, we will spend New Year's with the other family. DH's parents live 5 hours away and have kids spread all over the country so their holiday plans usually dictate what we end up doing. My parents are local, not huge on holidays, and prefer to spend time alone at their second home. (That sounds bad. My parents are awesome, loving, etc, but are really enjoying this time in their life with grown kids and very little responsibility.) Easter is spent with my best friend's family. She passed away a few years ago and since then we've made a tradition of having Easter dinner with her parents and family.

[lms]

This gets pretty tough for us. My parents are 12 hours away, H's mom is 4 hours away, and then we have the fact that I'm divorced and DD alternates holiday's every other year to be with her dad. This past year we went to my family, with DD, for Thanksgiving and since DD was with her dad for Christmas, my H and I went to his mom's house. When we visit family we have to go for several days since they are both so far away. We like to stay at home when we have DD for Christmas. I wish my parents could come and spend Christmas here but my dad snowplows in the winter so it's hard for them to get away and my MIL doesn't really get much time off. We haven't made our plans for this year yet.

[tiptoetulips]

Both families are local we normally see both on the holidays. We share a driveway with the ILs and mine live 10 minutes away. It's a bit more tricky with h's family his brothers live about an hour away.

[Deleted]

We live in NY and DH's parents live in FL. We try to go to his parents once a year, sometimes we try for a holiday but with my shifts at work it's hard to find coverage. DH's sister lives about 45 minutes away so we sometimes go there. SIL is nice and includes my mom otherwise she would be alone. My mom only lives 2 miles, poor DH lol.

I always work on Thanksgiving so I send DH to his sister's. Then we will have our own thanksgiving feast over the weekend after.

Christmas I usually host at my house. Most of the time it just DH, my mom, my nephew and I. SIL and her family will come for dessert. I perfer to have it at my house. I love to cook and its one of the few days I get to cook a big meal. I would love to go to his parents house for Christmas so we can visit his family down there. Plus his aunt makes a kick butt dinner. I even at her stuffings that has the turkey giblets and whatever else the put in the bag that comes in the turkey.

[sarahsas]

We do all holidays at both. My IL and my parents live in the same suburb where we live. It's about 5 minutes to my mom's and then about 5 more to my IL. We always have a brunch/lunch and a dinner. They alternate who does what meal. It always works well. We've done a few holidays all together as well.

[krystee]

Apr 16, 2014 15:43:22 GMT -5 grover said:

Apr 16, 2014 10:03:41 GMT -5 elliemonster21 said:

HoneySpider let a girl know when you are visiting DH's fam here in chicago!

water cooler GTG!

I want to come!

[ginkgoleaf]

Apr 16, 2014 23:17:32 GMT -5 krystee said:

Apr 16, 2014 15:43:22 GMT -5 grover said:

water cooler GTG!

I want to come!

Me too!

[MrsAggie]

We agreed on thanksgiving with one side and Christmas with the other, then rotate every year.

In reality I work in healthcare so I work a lot of holidays, including Christmas again this year. H's family is coming to us more and I'm 100% okay with that.

[elliemonster21]

Apr 18, 2014 22:36:04 GMT -5 ginkgoleaf said:

Apr 16, 2014 23:17:32 GMT -5 krystee said:

I want to come!

Me too!

I'm all for it!

[christy082]

We decided a few years ago, after visiting 3 different houses on Thanksgiving, that we were going to spend Thanksgiving with my family and Easter with my H's family. My ILs are divorced and remarried and lately my FIL's family has been having Easter the week before, which leaves just my MIL's for Easter Sunday. It's much more enjoyable this way with only 1 place to go.

For Christmas- in order to see everyone, we had 7 family gatherings last year from the week before through the week after. It was insane, but Christmas is the one holiday we see all of our families. This past year, I had my parents/brother over the Saturday before to do dinner/gifts with just them. The Sunday before we went to my FIL/step-MIL's to have Christmas with them and the step-siblings. Then on Christmas Eve we went to H's aunt's house (on his dad's side of the family) then to my grandparents' house (my dad's side of the family). On Christmas day we went to my MIL's house to see her, step-FIL and grandma. Then we went to my mom's house to see my mom's side of the family. Finally, the Sunday after Christmas we went to my H's aunt's house (his mom's side of the family) to see all the aunts/uncles/cousins on that side.

It was insanity. And exhausting. We live within 40 minutes or less of all the families, so we try to see them all for Christmas.