Flamefuls

[darkling_glory]

Here is a flameful and I need you gals to give it to me straight.

My grandpa died three years ago. We were very close and it was very sudden. I still grieve a lot over his death.

My aunt, his daughter, is always posting stuff on Facebook like "miss you dad, thinking of you while I do x,y,z!" For some reason this bugs the shit out of me! She moved out of state 20 years ago and was never around. She doesn't know how to cook any of the recipes he used to make every holiday. She never took time to learn. She didn't have dinner with him every week, or run his errands or take him to doctors appointments.

I don't know why this bugs me so much, but it does. It's not a competition as to who misses him more, I know that. But she just makes me so mad.

Sidenote: This is the aunt that decided to tell my dad about the tattoo that I'd been hiding for over a year in the middle of a family party. I might not see straight when it comes to her.

[OrangePixyStix]

Ugh, I'm so sorry she's making things bothersome like that.
I guess I'd just "hide" her updates so I wouldn't see them as often on my feed, since people deal with loss in different ways and I wouldn't feel comfortable asking her to stop the posts of that nature.

I'm sure your grandpa is still with you and will forever remember who was in his corner at all times and took the time to really learn from his life. You got a lot out of your relationship with him, and that should give you some sort of peace even if she's trying to "one-up" you on the grieving.
**hugs**

[sapphire bou]

It sounds like one of those "look at that bitch eating her cookies like she owns the place" situations where everything she does bothers the hell out of you just because. But I totally get your train of thought.

To give a view from the other side: I worry that when I post things about my friend that passed away all of his friends and family have that same thought about me. "You didn't even know him." But the relationship that we had was just between the two of us. We didn't hang out in the same crowds, so I don't think anybody really knows how special he was to me and how I was one of the few people that he could tell anything to.

[darkling_glory]

Apr 17, 2014 8:43:43 GMT -5 sapphire bou said:

It sounds like one of those "look at that bitch eating her cookies like she owns the place" situations where everything she does bothers the hell out of you just because. But I totally get your train of thought.

To give a view from the other side: I worry that when I post things about my friend that passed away all of his friends and family have that same thought about me. "You didn't even know him." But the relationship that we had was just between the two of us. We didn't hang out in the same crowds, so I don't think anybody really knows how special he was to me and how I was one of the few people that he could tell anything to.

Thanks, sapphire. That is very true. No one knows their relationship.

And it probably is a bitch eating crackers issue, too.

I just needed people to point it out for me.
I think I'll just hide her like OPS suggested.

[glw]

I agree with hiding her posts. I can't fault you for feeling the way you do, though.

[alabasterangel]

I'm sure it would help to be able to mentally prepare yourself before seeing her posts.

[darkling_glory]

Apr 17, 2014 9:24:25 GMT -5 alabasterangel said:

I'm sure it would help to be able to mentally prepare yourself before seeing her posts.

Yes! They just come out of nowhere and then I'm crying at my desk. Ugh.

Like I said, it's still very raw. Sometimes just looking at his picture makes me ugly cry.

[alabasterangel]

I have done zero things to prepare for Easter. We're hosting. In two days. Yep.

[theatre4life]

**hugs** DG. I'm sorry it's still so raw. I would definitely say to hide her posts, so you can chose when/if to go to her page and see the posts.

[OrangePixyStix]

I'm snickering at some of the details of an upcoming wedding I'll be attending. I shouldn't judge, I am sure there were snicker-worthy things about my own wedding and everyone has different taste, but the groom is planning to wear "cloth Crocs" and a Tommy Bahama shirt. I am glad I have advanced notice of the dress code, good to know high heels will be out of place there!

[darkling_glory]

Apr 17, 2014 9:40:40 GMT -5 alabasterangel said:

I have done zero things to prepare for Easter. We're hosting. In two days. Yep.

I made a grocery list. Does that count?

[theatre4life]

And my (possibly) flameful - my coworker is a constant oversharing, and I am at the point where I just don't give a damn anymore. I am starting to feel like the majority of her "issues" are made up for attention, because she is a lonely individual, and keeps finding hack doctors that will diagnose her with things. This makes me feel like a terrible person, because she probably does actually have these problems, I just can't care anymore because it is something new every.single.week.

[sitnspin]

Apr 17, 2014 9:13:52 GMT -5 glw said:

I agree with hiding her posts. I can't fault you for feeling the way you do, though.

:Y:

[MyName]

I guess my flameful is that I think it is weird and AW-y to post that type of stuff on FB at all. Like, I understand talking to a deceased loved one like they are there because you think their soul may be listening (I watch a lot of Long Island Medium, ok?!), but do you really think they are reading your FB? No, that is all about getting attention from living people.

I'm sorry it makes you feel worse, DG, and I'm so sorry for your loss. Maybe she feels guilty for not being as close to him as others were, and this is her misguided way of trying to make up for it.


Another flameful: the dress I'm wearing is probably too short for work, but I didn't feel like changing, so I wore it anyway. I sit at my desk all day, so it's not really a big deal.

[knavy]

Apr 17, 2014 10:53:01 GMT -5 MyName said:

I guess my flameful is that I think it is weird and AW-y to post that type of stuff on FB at all. Like, I understand talking to a deceased loved one like they are there because you think their soul may be listening (I watch a lot of Long Island Medium, ok?!), but do you really think they are reading your FB? No, that is all about getting attention from living people.
.

I totally agree. A guy I used to date and we remained friends afterwords committed suicide. His ex wife kept posting all over his Facebook page that people should share memories and pictures and talked about how much she loved him. It pissed me off so much. I never posted anything on his Facebook because it was for her, not for him. He knows how I felt about him no need to tell everyone else about it.

[alabasterangel]

I've been spending so much time reading a certain thread on a certain other board that I've neglected my FB pretend farm. LMAO

[knavy]

Apr 17, 2014 12:19:33 GMT -5 alabasterangel said:

I've been spending so much time reading a certain thread on a certain other board that I've neglected my FB pretend farm. LMAO

I was supposed to write a paper and didn't because of the same reason!