First mommy mistake + guilt

[catsarecute]

I'm not sure if I should post this here but I'm not ready to move to mom board.

I think I have to stop breastfeeding. Something isn't going right because my nipples are both cracked, dry and blistered. I met with an LC twice in the hospital but I just don't understand how to get her to properly latch. She is getting food because she is content and all but I'm miserable.
We have no formula in the house so I had to send my dh out just now in a rush to get some while I attempt to feed her from a very sore breast.
Please remind me that formula is ok and I'm not a bad mom. I'm very emotional about this all!

[thatgirl2478]

You're not a bad mom for switching to formula. Breastfeeding is rough, but your baby needs to eat. By making sure that baby has enough food, you're being a good mom.

Take care of yourself

[zarapipe]

I agree with the PP.

You are not a bad mom. At all. And I am absolutely positive that any poster on MM Moms will agree with me. Don't be afraid of us

[flamingeaux]

Formula is fine, and you're a great mom. Nobody wants to be a miserable mom, and nobody wants to have a miserable mom. As long as you remember to feed her something, there's no wrong choice here, as long as it's right for you.

[pinotgrig]

Don't feel guilty - that sounds so painful and hard to deal with. Your DD needs to eat - whether that comes from you or formula is not going to be a big deal in the grand scheme of things. You are a fantastic mom - bf'ing/ff'ing has nothing to do with it.

That said, if bf'ing is important, call your lc's again. They should be able to meet with you and help you in person. Where I'm at, the lc's only do phone consults after you're discharged from the hospital, but there's a local birthing center they'll refer you to for in-person help with their on-staff lc's. Also, I think insurance now covers lc visits under the ACA - you may want to check with your plan specifically.

You're doing a fabulous job - hang in there!

[gibbinator]

How old is your baby? There's certainly nothing wrong with formula, but breastfeeding gets a lot easier and in the long run is more convenient and free.
Come over to mm moms, we're very welcoming, you'll get lots of helpful advice. :-)
I had blistered/cracked nipples/areola for 3-4 weeks while they healed and ds got better at latching. You can express breast milk onto your nipples after feeding and let them air dry as much as possible. It really helps them heal faster. You could also look into getting a nipple shield if they're really damaged.
Try to stick as much breast in LO s mouth as possible with your nipple pointed up towards the roof of her mouth. You shouldn't have pain during the nursing session beyond 10s of toe curling pain at the initial latch. If it hurts the entire time it means something is wrong with the latch. Once the nipples heal, it shouldn't hurt at all.

[linz]

Oh girl dont feel bad. Lots of babies are formula fed and are still healthy! You and your baby will be fine and if anything it will help your mood not struggling with this.

[flamingeaux]

I imagine being a exhausting, so I will make you a list of all the things you should feed to a newborn, and at least some of the things you shouldn't feed to a newborn.

Feed to Newborn
Breast milk or Formula

Do Not Feed to Newborn
Steak and Potatoes
Spaghetti
Prime Rib
Bourbon Balls
Apple Pie
Lobster
Cocktail Shrimp
Lasagna
Vegetarian Lasagne
Milk Bones
Oreos
Golden Oreos
Doublestuf Oreos
Chicken Fettucine
Kabobs
Double Bacon Cheeseburgers
Sushi
Eggs Benedict

[anaps28]

You are doing a great job regardless of how you feed your baby. MM Moms is a great place for support if you want to jump in over there. ((hugs))

[jene]

You are doing awesome! I'll just ditto everyone else, MM Moms is a great place for support

[laurack]

breastfeeding is SO painful and hard and horrifying in the beginning. At least for me it was. She didn't have a latch issue, it was all "proper". Every time she latched I would cry. I didn't want to feed her, when she cried to be fed I would cry because I knew the pain was coming again.

It was not beautiful or magical or natural in the beginning. It was exhausting and excruciating.

BUT- after a while my nipples toughened up and it did become easy and wonderful!

So hang in there! If you need to supplement with formula to give yourself a break, do it. It will not hurt your baby! It does not make you a bad mom. It is perfectly fine. You could give formula and pump even if you don't want to affect your supply too much. The pump may hurt less perhaps?

[formerlyak]

What ever you choose you are not a bad mom. I agree with the others though - the cracked and blistered nipples are part of the deal for a few weeks but the go away. Many posters suggested lanolin. I hated using it. It's so sticky and slimy and DS couldn't latch when I used it unless I scrubbed it off my nipples first. I switched to "boob-ease" and love it! Also Avent makes cool/warm gel pads. Those are soothing as well.

I breast fed my first and and bf-ing ds#2 now and even though I know the pain lessens with time, I've still had tears a few times. I think that part is normal as well.

Good luck!! You are doing great!!

[mrssandro]

Not a bad mom!!!

Formula is perfectly acceptable and healthy way to feed your baby. It was the number one issue I had after having DD. I felt guilt about having to supplement and next time I just won't even go there.

Big hugs. The first couple of months are the hardest.

[aqualuv]

You are not a bad mom at all. I can only imagine how frustrating it is to nurse while you and your body is miserable. I've heard nursing is very hard and you should feel about even trying to nurse.

[shekels1222]

Not a bad mom at all...this is coming from an ebf too! The first week I had to give DS a bottle of formula bc my nipples hurt so bad. If you want to continue to try to bf, try nipple shields or even pumping until your nipples heal.

If you don't think you can continue to bf...that's okay too.

[gretchenindisguise]

Feeding your baby is the most important thing. How your baby gets fed is much less important.

[pinotgrig]

Also, just remembered my hospital gives you some sort of cream that has a numbing agent in it and some antibacterial stuff to ward off any infections. I don't recall the name of it, but you don't have to wipe it off before nursing. Maybe another poster can remember the name?

[MrsDarcy]

Formula is absolutely fine. Don't feel guilt over that.

Breastfeeding took me a couple weeks before it didn't hurt. I would reach out to a different lactation consultant if it's important to you. Once we got over the pain hump it was smooth sailing.

Hugs. I know it hurts.

[bowies]

I'll just ditto everyone else. I don't have first-hand experience yet, but every thread I've read over on MMM on this subject says that BFing is freaking HARD those first few weeks. Do not feel guilty that you're with the majority on this one. If you want to, seek out an LC or a local La Leche League meet-up (the one by me has drop-in times for new moms to get hands-on help).

However, if BFing is not for you, then it's not. FFing is perfectly fine and healthy and good. This is not something to beat yourself up with.

[Alwaysabridesmaidf]

You are not a bad mom AT ALL! I was ff. My siblings were ff. Actually most of the people I know were ff and I will ff as well. It's a personal choice and as long as your baby is fed, loved and happy that is the most importnant thing.

[shelbyann]

Formula is fine. You are not a bad mom. (((Hugs)))

BFing is so, so hard at the beginning. Have you looked in to LCs that can come to your house? This was a game changer for me.

[hillarywhitney]

((hugs))

You are NOT a bad mom. Promise. You are taking care of your daughter and making sure she eats, that makes you a great mom!

[ringstrue]

Ditto everyone else! BFing sucks at first but it does ease up. GL and take care!

[purrbox]

Sorry you're having such a difficult time. If breastfeeding isn't working out for you, then switch to formula and don't feel an ounce of guilt over it. Your baby will benefit more (in my opinion) from having a happier mom.

Also, you should give yourself a pat on the back for giving baby colostrum.

[catsarecute]

I'm in tears reading all of these posts. Thank you so much everyone. The past 24 hours has been a complete roller coaster of emotions. This morning just sent me over the edge.

We had an appointment today and met with a nurse who watched me nurse and gave me some tips. She was amazing. I was a bit nervous to put her on the boob again but she just rocked 20 minutes on my scabby nasty nipple and I felt NO pain or discomfort beyond the initial latch. And when she came off on her own, I saw white liquid on my nipple. Yay for milk. My girl is now passed out.

Seriously, your responses mean the world to me. Being a mommy is so hard.

[FastHands]

I came in here just to say that the only mistake I saw in your OP was the fact that you were feeling guilty. But I'm thrilled to hear things are improving!

[mannah]

Glad to hear things got better today!! Whatever you end up doing long term will be right--you've got this!

[curbsideprophet]

Establishing BF was quite possibly the hardest thing I have ever done. For most people, it does get better. Just hang in there, you are doing a great job.

[JayhawkGirl]

The first six weeks of nursing my first baby was hard. It hurt, I cried, he cried, we all cried together. The LCs helped. So did pumping a bit so DH could give him a bottle and give me a break. Nipple confusion Schmipple Shmufusion.

It also helped having a can of formula at the ready. We had to supplement a bit at first, and I just wanted to know I could use more if I needed. I have a can in my pantry and keep a rtf in my diaper bag for dd, who has been EBF since about 10 days old.

Lanolin helps a lot. So does expressing some milk and rubbing it on your nipples, then air drying. I walked around topless a lot. Still do with #2. I have also rubbed coconut oil on my breasts this time. I figured for as much as it's purported to help, it couldn't hurt.

Hang in there!! Do whatever works for you. Know that nursing is hard at first and it usually does get better. Don't hesitate to call the lc again. I just saw mine again yesterday at four months in with baby #2. Keep hydrated and a beer while nursing often helped me let down.

[rbp]

Man, I am NERVOUS about BFing now! But catsarecute, you are not a bad mom. Most of our generation were FF, and we seem fine