WWYD: Nanny related

[loskadoodle]

We have been having some issues with our nanny lately, mostly relating to her being here on time, having to leave early, etc.

DS is almost 2 and she has been with us since he was 3 months.  She is great with him, he LOVES her and she does so much around our house that it will be hard to let her go.  But lately I have been getting so frustrated with her.  I work from home, so I do have some flexibility.  She is a single mom to an 8 year old, so I know things will come up.  So for the first year she was with us, we had absolutely no issues with her.  She was always on time, never needed off, etc.

Since the beginning of the year, she is continually late (5-15 minutes), she has had to leave early to pick up her son for various reasons (2ish hours), her son has had dentist appts that she has had come late for (1.5-2 hours).  All of these events I have either found out about minutes before she has to leave or be late, or best case scenario, like 8pm the night before.  Also, she has off every other weds, (really, she can have any weds off she wants) and I think this stuff should be scheduled for that day.

Well today I think was the straw that broke the camel's back.  I know it was a miscommunication, but seriously.  So we were out of town Mon and Tues, she still came her normal hours because she watched our dog.  We have done this before and have always paid her the normal rate because she is here.  Well she left early Tues, no idea what time but we got home at 3 and she was gone, whatever not a big deal.  I had texted her around noon that we were on our way home (but made no mention of her leaving and there was plenty around the house she could be doing).  She had asked me Tuesday if she was working the next day because she typically works every other weds (I have off on Weds, so she either cleans or watches DS if I have errands to do).  And I said she was off, but could she come next week.  Apparently she took that to mean she was off the rest of the week ( no idea why), so I texted her at 830 today when she was supposed to be here and she said she thought she was off.  Well i said can you still come because I have to work.  She is like 15 mins from our house.  She wrote back that she took 2 of some kind of stomach pills so she couldn't.  WTF???  I'm super pissed.

We have been planning on putting DS in daycare 2 days a week starting in july anyways, but I am due with DS2 mid august so we wanted to keep her another year until ds2 is 1.  At this point, I just want to put DS1 in daycare 3 days a week (its cheaper than the nanny) and then taking off work through the end of year and putting DS2 at the same place starting 1/1/15.  The biggest issue I have is that since I do work from home, I can't really watch DS and work at the same time, so he spends the day watching tv or playing on the ipad.  Plus I am always the one whos work it affects, not Dh's because he isn't here.  He wants to keep her, but again he doesnt have to deal with the ramifications.

So, WWYD?

[zarapipe]

Do you pay her when she is late/leaves early? Is she hourly/salary?

I would sit down and have a serious talk that you value her as an employee and love the relationship she has with your DS, but that she needs to be at work during her scheduled working hours and she needs to schedule appointments on her days off. See if it improves over the next few weeks.

[loskadoodle]

Apr 17, 2014 9:49:57 GMT -5 zarapipe said:

Do you pay her when she is late/leaves early? Is she hourly/salary?

I would sit down and have a serious talk that you value her as an employee and love the relationship she has with your DS, but that she needs to be at work during her scheduled working hours and she needs to schedule appointments on her days off. See if it improves over the next few weeks.

She is hourly, but its the same every week.  Since I work from home, I'm always done at the same time.  It depends why she leaves if I pay her, most times I do.  I think there have only been 2 times where I havent paid her the full amount.

[zarapipe]

Apr 17, 2014 9:55:29 GMT -5 loskadoodle said:

Apr 17, 2014 9:49:57 GMT -5 zarapipe said:

Do you pay her when she is late/leaves early? Is she hourly/salary?

I would sit down and have a serious talk that you value her as an employee and love the relationship she has with your DS, but that she needs to be at work during her scheduled working hours and she needs to schedule appointments on her days off. See if it improves over the next few weeks.

She is hourly, but its the same every week.  Since I work from home, I'm always done at the same time.  It depends why she leaves if I pay her, most times I do.  I think there have only been 2 times where I havent paid her the full amount.

Does she have sick/vacation time? I would be inclined that she use that and if not start docking her every time. If I'm late or have to leave early my employer makes me use PTO. I'm sure there are jobs where that is not the case and you can be breeze with your time for an appointment, etc, but it depends what you want. Your the employer, you have the choice.  Being a few hours short on a check will make her notice that there are consequences.

[pugz]

Can you replace her?

[loskadoodle]

Apr 17, 2014 10:03:46 GMT -5 pugz said:

Can you replace her?

I'm sure we could, but I wouldn't want to at this point.  If I were to replace her, I wouldn't hire someone until like Nov at the earliest, since we are planning on putting DS1 in daycare a couple days anyways, and i will be on Mat leave.

[teatimefor2]

I agree, I would sit down and have a serious chat. I'd explain that you value her relationship with your son but her behavior over the last x months is worrying and a stark opposite to her performance during her first year.

I would ask if something has happened that has impacted her work.

I would present her with clear exceptions as well as a date to review her performance.

[mollybrown]

A year is a long time to keep someone on who is unreliable and not meeting your expectations. IMO, one of the top responsibilities is being at work when the parent is depending on you to show up. I'd be inclined to replace her, but definitely sit down and outline your expectations clearly if you're otherwise happy with her. You're the employer, so let her know that she does not have a flex schedule and she needs to be at work as agreed unless a) she's sick, or b) she gives you x amount of notice that she would like time off. I agree with you that things like dentist appointments should be scheduled on Wednesdays. If you're paying her even when she takes this time off, it sounds like she's taking advantage and purposely not scheduling her appointments on her off day.

ETA:  I guess I'm pretty cold hearted, but I'd stop paying her when she left early or scheduled appointments on days I needed her to work (unless she was using PTO).  I'd only pay her if she was available to work and I didn't need her.  I think she'd get it together if her pay was effected.

[leonard131]

Sit down with her an clearly lay out the expecations. If she continues to do the same things then I would look at replacing her. If she does have appointments during the week that can't be scheduled on Wednesday she should use her sick leave or time without pay. Indicate you need at least a 24 hour notice if not more if she is going to be late or leave early.

[Deleted]

I would be very clear with her what your expectations are and how much notice you need. Ask her why she's not making appointments for Wednesdays.

Let her know if you do need see her sticking to these guidelines she will be let go.

[Deleted]

Have you ever sat down with her and talked about her recent lateness and leaving? If not, you need to start there.

[ijack]

I'd sit down and ask if anything is going on and talk to her about her time commitments. I'd also ask she starts scheduling appts on Wednesdays.

[loskadoodle]

Apr 17, 2014 11:43:02 GMT -5 flygirl said:

Have you ever sat down with her and talked about her recent lateness and leaving? If not, you need to start there.

Yes, we did talk to her about it about a month ago.  Which I know today is a separate incident, but the culmination of everything is what is driving me bonkers.

[imojoebunny]

Apr 17, 2014 13:21:47 GMT -5 loskadoodle said:

Apr 17, 2014 11:43:02 GMT -5 flygirl said:

Have you ever sat down with her and talked about her recent lateness and leaving? If not, you need to start there.

Yes, we did talk to her about it about a month ago.  Which I know today is a separate incident, but the culmination of everything is what is driving me bonkers.

I would wait until you are about to have the second child, then give her two weeks notice or whatever your comfortable with.  Offer to help her find another job (I see postings like this all the time on our parent message board), then get someone else in Nov.  she may be having personal problems, or she may be looking for another job, or she may just be *too* comfortable.  You have talked to her once, you can mention your disappointment, but ultimately, she isn't working for you.  Maternity leave is an easy transition time for your Adams, for you, and summer is a good time for a nanny to find a job, at least an interim one.  

[Deleted]

Not having care 2 days/week when you're working can't be the solution. Whatever else you decide.

[holly22]

Have another sit down with her and tell her everything you've said here.