I'm really tired of all the mommy martyrs on FB who post all the time about how being a mom is the hardest job ever blah blah blah. Yes, clearly posting photos and memes all day about your child/being a mom is HARD WORK!
I'm annoyed that ever since my D&E I now spot for a few days before AF and a few days after AF. I bleed for about 10 days total. F that. It used to come and go in about half that time.
Every time I see this type of stuff (especially that hardest job ever thing that was going around late last week) I want to scream MUST BE NICE.
I've been very introspective lately, and it has been hitting me kinda hard how much our lives/plans have changed in the last two years. It shouldn't be this complicated.
((hugs)) @mrschicken It really shouldn't be this hard.
I did tear up with the video going around. I thought *that's what I want* in a good way.
But, I can't stand the mommy martyrs either. I want to get along with my SIL so bad, but at the same time she is like that. She takes her girl for granted everyday and is completely clueless that she does it. It hurts to watch her interact with the girls. I really only get along with her when it is just me and her.
Post by luv2rn4fun on Apr 17, 2014 17:44:14 GMT -5
awick14- HUGE HUGE ((hugs)) Words cannot express how sorry I am that your DH cannot be here for you in the ways you need him to right now. I know you two discussed the possibility of couples counseling...is that still an option? I think it would be really good for you two considering how much you have been through and that you feel like he doesn't understand you (and he might possibly feel the same way). I know he cares for you so much but it sucks that he just isn't getting how hard this is for you (and all your feelings are so normal...each and everyone of us has been right where you are). BIG HUGE ((hugs))...wish I could give them to you in person right now.
DH and I are never going to see eye to eye on this TTC thing. He wants to take a break for a while. (Don't prevent but stop charting etc.) WTF does he mean when WE need to stop doing this shit?? I do it all and most of the time I don't even mention it to him, because he doesn't want to know about it. He was so sweet when he first got home yesterday and I was upset but after that he's all "we just need to relax and let this happen!" I am so pissed off at him. I'm really struggling right now and he just doesn't seem to care.
I am so sorry Lots of hugs to you.
Can you keep charting and such and just not tell him?
I'm really tired of all the mommy martyrs on FB who post all the time about how being a mom is the hardest job ever blah blah blah. Yes, clearly posting photos and memes all day about your child/being a mom is HARD WORK!
I'm annoyed that ever since my D&E I now spot for a few days before AF and a few days after AF. I bleed for about 10 days total. F that. It used to come and go in about half that time.
Every time I see this type of stuff (especially that hardest job ever thing that was going around late last week) I want to scream MUST BE NICE.
I've been very introspective lately, and it has been hitting me kinda hard how much our lives/plans have changed in the last two years. It shouldn't be this complicated.
So many hugs! I completely agree, it should not be this hard.
Post by luv2rn4fun on Apr 17, 2014 17:48:02 GMT -5
((hugs)) @mrschicken. Ditto everyone else...it should be this hard. Really sorry you are struggling too and praying that you get your BFP/take home baby soon!
((hugs)) @mrschicken It really shouldn't be this hard.
Right!?!? Our conversation used to be about if our kid would have blue or hazel eyes, and now it's about whether our kid would be predisposed to get cancer at young age or not. Same odds:/
I would like to cordially invite everyone out to drown our sorrows. Happy hour starts in 12 minutes.
DH and I are never going to see eye to eye on this TTC thing. He wants to take a break for a while. (Don't prevent but stop charting etc.) WTF does he mean when WE need to stop doing this shit?? I do it all and most of the time I don't even mention it to him, because he doesn't want to know about it. He was so sweet when he first got home yesterday and I was upset but after that he's all "we just need to relax and let this happen!" I am so pissed off at him. I'm really struggling right now and he just doesn't seem to care.
I am so sorry Lots of hugs to you.
Can you keep charting and such and just not tell him?
I would do this.
When we first started trying we decided we would just "go with it" and not do any special timing or anything. I have always been regular so of course I was timing it and just didn't mention it. DH figured it out right away because the increase of me initiating.
((hugs)) @mrschicken It really shouldn't be this hard.
Right!?!? Our conversation used to be about if our kid would have blue or hazel eyes, and now it's about whether our kid would be predisposed to get cancer at young age or not. Same odds:/
I would like to cordially invite everyone out to drown our sorrows. Happy hour starts in 12 minutes.
I just finished my first one! Time to make dinner and open the second. :drink:
Post by estrellita on Apr 17, 2014 19:35:28 GMT -5
HoneySpider I just had to stop and respond to your post about the mommy martyrs because that is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. I have one friend that is SO FREAKING ANNOYING. A couple things she posted recently have been a photo of her son with a caption that was something along the lines of "my kid is cuter than yours, don't even argue" and she posted something about "I don't get how moms can ever go out and get drunk. Don't you worry about your kid?" Seriously girl, calm the hell down. You are not the best mom in the world and just because someone does something differently than you, that doesn't make it wrong!
I'm annoyed with my coworkers. I know this sounds snobby, but I just don't like their stereotypical small town ways (no offense to small town people, but I think you know what I mean). Only one of my coworkers came to my wedding, and I've realized recently why. They're all scared of driving in the Twin Cities! Really?! They were having a discussion today about driving there, and it was bugging the crap out of me. A lot of them are also SUPER conservative and I heard a few snickers when we got invited to an event for our LGBT group we have. I just do not fit in whatsoever with any of them and it's getting extremely frustrating. I just don't want to be here anymore but I don't want to look for a new job. Grr.
Ok, now I'm going back to read the rest of the posts!
luv2rn4fun- we are still wanting to do the couples counseling we are just having troubles finding someone who will work around our schedules. Most people here are only open until 4ish, which means that DH would have to take time off work for this.
I will not stop temping even if DH wants me to, I would go so crazy. My cycles range from 26-40 days how would I ever know when I Od to test. Honestly I will still temp after we have a baby because I refuse to go back on BCP because those hormones fucked me up. I hope that I can get him to understand how this is helping my sanity, not making it worse.
luv2rn4fun- we are still wanting to do the couples counseling we are just having troubles finding someone who will work around our schedules. Most people here are only open until 4ish, which means that DH would have to take time off work for this.
I will not stop temping even if DH wants me to, I would go so crazy. My cycles range from 26-40 days how would I ever know when I Od to test. Honestly I will still temp after we have a baby because I refuse to go back on BCP because those hormones fucked me up. I hope that I can get him to understand how this is helping my sanity, not making it worse.
I hope you can get him to understand that too. I agree with you...I will never go on BCP again either (not sure I will temp right away but still). Praying you can find someone that can work with your schedules. I know mine also had really early appointments...is that a possibility (at least on your non-work days maybe you can have an appointment before DH has to go to work).
I'm still pissed at the patient yesterday who implied that I don't know what I'm talking about re: newborn care and reducing SIDS risk, just because I am childless.
Post by elliemonster21 on Apr 17, 2014 21:51:09 GMT -5
<3 you all. Drinks all around!luv2rn4fun you can have some sparkling juice
I'd love to beat the dumb out of all of my bosses. We are doing this huge office move and they are just being redic. I love them all to pieces but geez louise.
I'm still pissed at the patient yesterday who implied that I don't know what I'm talking about re: newborn care and reducing SIDS risk, just because I am childless.
IT'S NOT BY CHOICE ASSHOLE!
Yea, I switched with another nurse.
Wow. That is truly disgusting, you are a trained/educated professional. That patient sounds like an snotty bitch.
It seems there's a great need for hugs and drinks around these parts. And also: (gift) Because they make things better too.
Please please please have a drink for me right now! I think we both can use it!
We have absolutely nothing in the house!
And, I am so sorry your H is acting like that Many hugs to you.
Sorry about not having anything in the house....I want to do this for you too. Alcohol always makes AF a little easier...definitely a coping mechanism. Looks like you need to get out of the house sometime today and pick some up! I forget, do you have BevMo (or something similar)? Maybe you could go get a bottle of wine from a region in Italy you are going to?
I hope today is a better day for you. Sending you so many hugs and prayers that you get your BFP and take home baby very soon. I have so much hope for you and your DH. HUGE HUGE ((hugs))
DH and I are never going to see eye to eye on this TTC thing. He wants to take a break for a while. (Don't prevent but stop charting etc.) WTF does he mean when WE need to stop doing this shit?? I do it all and most of the time I don't even mention it to him, because he doesn't want to know about it. He was so sweet when he first got home yesterday and I was upset but after that he's all "we just need to relax and let this happen!" I am so pissed off at him. I'm really struggling right now and he just doesn't seem to care.
DH and I went through this after our last loss. He would say really insensitive things like this. I am so sorry you are dealing with this. If was tough conversation for us because we had to lay out how much further I would take it. He was worried that I was stressing to much and didn't realize that his words hurt me more. I did have to adjust myself and how I talked to him about it. He is just a really logical person and factually person. In his head he thought that there was no reason at all that this could ever have a successful result. He did not want to see me depressed again if I lost another pregnancy.
So yes did I agree to some ground rules. But I also I had to live in a lonely place with my thoughts for awhile. Especially once I became pregnant. He was not excited and I think he was scared. It put up a invisible wall between us. He was supportive but not nearly what I wanted from him. I wanted him to be excited like he was with DD. I wanted that innocence again. It is slowly emerging after out NT scan. I see that spark of hope in his eyes again.
I honestly really feel it's his way to grieve. I was ready to move on and he was scared for me and for him and didn't know how to express his feelings.
Post by wanderingenough on Apr 18, 2014 9:14:38 GMT -5
I wasn't ragey before, but I am now on behalf of you all ---especially in regards to the realtor stuff (as if moving isn't a big enough pain) and the mommy martyrs. Hope the weekend looks up for all of you!
I'm annoyed with my coworkers. I know this sounds snobby, but I just don't like their stereotypical small town ways (no offense to small town people, but I think you know what I mean). Only one of my coworkers came to my wedding, and I've realized recently why. They're all scared of driving in the Twin Cities! Really?! They were having a discussion today about driving there, and it was bugging the crap out of me. A lot of them are also SUPER conservative and I heard a few snickers when we got invited to an event for our LGBT group we have. I just do not fit in whatsoever with any of them and it's getting extremely frustrating. I just don't want to be here anymore but I don't want to look for a new job. Grr.
I totally could have written that myself, just exchange states! I work for a huge company and am just shocked at what some people say here - racist, homophobic, etc. We're a small branch but there is NO way that would fly in the corporate office. It's only recently that I've even been brave enough to talk about my brother and his partner, or my BFF who's a lesbian. We have SO many friends in the LGBT circle and it's weird feeling like I need to stay in the closet about them at work because others will judge/hate. Ughhh.
Totally unrelated, but I've been pissed at my dog lately. She's 6 and has starting pooping in the house again, barking when DS is napping, eating her own poop, and this morning she killed 2 baby bunnies! I know it's her natural instinct, but still, on Good Friday?! Those poor Easter bunnies.
Lastly, still angry about my in-laws living with us. They're moving out in June - yay! I have no doubt that the stress of them living there is hurting our TTC.
Post by estrellita on Apr 18, 2014 12:24:11 GMT -5
ginkgoleaf I felt a little weird talking about a same sex wedding I went to last year at first, but then I just didn't care. I just said I was going to a wedding, if they asked who I said their names and let them figure it out, haha. If they don't like it, too bad!
I did have a good conversation with a coworker about a seminar she went to where they talked about LGBT terminology and it was really eye opening for her. I wish everyone else would go to things like that!