I hope everyone feels welcome and a part of the board regardless of whether you post a lot or a little, day or night, etc. I know some of us have gotten to know each other a little more but it doesn't mean we don't love everyone else too
I haven't posted here yet, but I "know" a lot of the posters here from Getting Pregnant. It took me a while to realize you all had taken over the Parenting board, and then when I did realize, I felt weird just joining in after the fact when everyone here seemed to know each other so well.
If you don't mind, I'd like to join in sometimes.
To answer the poll, (obvs.) this isn't my home board. ML is the board where I spend the most time, but I also frequent the Book Club, Travel, Food & Entertaining and Getting Pregnant boards. And I lurk on CEP and MM.
I'm on: GetP MMMoms - probably post here the most MM WC
Never post, but read: Travel TTTC
Hmm. This is kinda weird, right? You should just intro and say hi. We're mostly nice people who swear a lot (as you...well, know already).
Eh, I don't think I've been ttc long enough to be considered having tttc. I like to know what might be in my future though, and you ladies all seem awesome. I'm sure lots of people lurk on other boards without posting.
Hmm. This is kinda weird, right? You should just intro and say hi. We're mostly nice people who swear a lot (as you...well, know already).
Eh, I don't think I've been ttc long enough to be considered having tttc. I like to know what might be in my future though, and you ladies all seem awesome. I'm sure lots of people lurk on other boards without posting.
I get you. I lurked over there a bit but started posting after my second m/c. I don't know if it is the right place for me, just because I don't understand a lot of what the women over there have gone through (extensive testing, IUI, IVF, etc) but there are some great people over there so I do try to post some.
Hmm. This is kinda weird, right? You should just intro and say hi. We're mostly nice people who swear a lot (as you...well, know already).
Eh, I don't think I've been ttc long enough to be considered having tttc. I like to know what might be in my future though, and you ladies all seem awesome. I'm sure lots of people lurk on other boards without posting.
Lots of people lurk on TTTC, I'm sure.
But to lurk and tell people you lurk is weird. To listen to the experiences (and raw emotion and sadness) of the people who share so freely so that YOU can be comforted w/o at least offering them the courtesy of saying, "Hey, I'm here, not sure if I need to be yet but I appreciate your willingness to share your experiences so that I can be informed," seems icky to me. Especially since, as you say, everybody there is pretty awesome and you know would welcome you.
Eh, I don't think I've been ttc long enough to be considered having tttc. I like to know what might be in my future though, and you ladies all seem awesome. I'm sure lots of people lurk on other boards without posting.
Lots of people lurk on TTTC, I'm sure.
But to lurk and tell people you lurk is weird. To listen to the experiences (and raw emotion and sadness) of the people who share so freely so that YOU can be comforted w/o at least offering them the courtesy of saying, "Hey, I'm here, not sure if I need to be yet but I appreciate your willingness to share your experiences so that I can be informed," seems icky to me. Especially since, as you say, everybody there is pretty awesome and you know would welcome you.
But, hey - KOKO.
I don't feel right jumping in without an intro and I haven't done that yet. I've been considering it, though, hence why I admitted to it. Fwiw I haven't been lurking there for long.
Post by ginkgoleaf on Apr 21, 2014 18:25:58 GMT -5
bk1, I promise I'm not a creepster. If I was, I wouldn't have admitted to lurking!
I find it ironic that w&w is not a regular here but still chose to jump on me in this thread. But whatever, to each their own. With a welcome like that, I don't think I'll be making an intro over there anytime soon.
If anyone cares to see how much of a non creeper I am, feel free to stalk my recent posts. If anyone thinks there aren't lurkers on all these boards, check out all the page views and compare that to the number of comments.
I swear I'm about the least confrontational person you'll ever meet, but there you have it.
Eta: probably should have made that 2 posts. Only the first paragraph was for bk1.
Post by whiskeyandwine on Apr 21, 2014 19:57:06 GMT -5
If you think I jumped on you I don't even know what to say.
And lol that noooow you won't intro over there because I was so mean. The women on that board are awesome and kind and would welcome you, and so would I though I hope like hell for you that you never have to find out.
And lurking on TTTC "just in case" is fucking weird.
bk1, I promise I'm not a creepster. If I was, I wouldn't have admitted to lurking!
I find it ironic that w&w is not a regular here but still chose to jump on me in this thread. But whatever, to each their own. With a welcome like that, I don't think I'll be making an intro over there anytime soon.
If anyone cares to see how much of a non creeper I am, feel free to stalk my recent posts. If anyone thinks there aren't lurkers on all these boards, check out all the page views and compare that to the number of comments.
I swear I'm about the least confrontational person you'll ever meet, but there you have it.
Eta: probably should have made that 2 posts. Only the first paragraph was for bk1.
I don't think you are a creeper Like I said, I get you.
Post by rachelgreen on Apr 21, 2014 21:20:45 GMT -5
I am going to try to phrase this in a non-offending way. I think that part of the reason it can be weird to lurk on a tttc forum without having a reason to is like how MoMs felt back in the day on TB and felt the need to move to a private group. It's sort of like watching caged animals, sort of voyeuristic, kwim? It doesn't mean that lurkers have bad intentions by any means - maybe someone is just trying to get used to the idea of having to "move on" - but it's still a little off to regs on 3TC to feel like we're on display. And obvs we're on display because we're not posting in invisible fonts on a private page but I think you can imagine what I'm trying to say.
To any of the lurkers - 3tc is not a place full of unwelcoming people. We're just a bit more jaded. Say hi, give support, etc.
Post by melsamoony on Apr 22, 2014 10:14:43 GMT -5
Woah...this got a little bit cray. People can lurk wherever they want to. I lurked on TTC before I started trying and posting and if I suspected I may need to move to TTTC I would lurk before posting as well.....I think that is normal because then you know what is appropriate to post/the vibe of the board. People usually jump on posters who post things without lurking first...at least that has always been my experience.
Small confession and I hope I don't upset some of the TTTC I sometime scan the board to see if there are any updates of people I know that moved on from getting pregnant. I am just rooting for everyone equally and I hope that it's not considered icky.
I lurk here because there a two or three people I'm interested in how their TTC journey is going and they don't really post on GP anymore.
But someone with a child already, and who's only been trying for 6 months for their second, "lurking on TTTC"? What's the point?
How nice that our daily heartbreaking mindfuck is so entertaining for you.
Thanks, you know absolutely nothing about my medical history.
That's kind of the point. By lurking you know everybody else's history, but by not participating no one knows your which makes for a weird dynamic. If you feel TTTC is applicable to you then by all means stop over and say hello.
Thanks, you know absolutely nothing about my medical history.
That's kind of the point. By lurking you know everybody else's history, but by not participating no one knows your which makes for a weird dynamic. If you feel TTTC is applicable to you then by all means stop over and say hello.
^o) I am sure after being called out like this she will gladly run over and say hello. I don't see what is weird about lurking...I lurked on a lot of boards before ever posting and still do sometimes because I don't have anything to contribute.
That's kind of the point. By lurking you know everybody else's history, but by not participating no one knows your which makes for a weird dynamic. If you feel TTTC is applicable to you then by all means stop over and say hello.
I am sure after being called out like this she will gladly run over and say hello. I don't see what is weird about lurking...I lurked on a lot of boards before ever posting and still do sometimes because I don't have anything to contribute.
Ok, let me try this. Would you lurk on a breast cancer support board just because one day you MIGHT get breast cancer? This is kind of the same thing. Lurking is totally normal if you need/want to post somewhere at some point. But to have already had a successful pregnancy and not trying long for the second one, it's weird to WANT to lurk just because you MIGHT have an issue.
The ladies on TTTC are nothing but supportive caring women. But it's bad enough to be on display to doctors, interns, nurses, counselors, friends, family... but now to have people reading your story just because it interests them... You have GOT to get this. Please.
I am sure after being called out like this she will gladly run over and say hello. I don't see what is weird about lurking...I lurked on a lot of boards before ever posting and still do sometimes because I don't have anything to contribute.
Ok, let me try this. Would you lurk on a breast cancer support board just because one day you MIGHT get breast cancer? This is kind of the same thing. Lurking is totally normal if you need/want to post somewhere at some point. But to have already had a successful pregnancy and not trying long for the second one, it's weird to WANT to lurk just because you MIGHT have an issue.
The ladies on TTTC are nothing but supportive caring women. But it's bad enough to be on display to doctors, interns, nurses, counselors, friends, family... but now to have people reading your story just because it interests them... You have GOT to get this. Please.
But the thing is you don't know HOW she got pregnant the first time/what was involved. I think this is entirely silly. I understand not wanting to be on display and wanting a place to go to for support BUT this is an on-line forum that is open for ANYONE who finds it to see. I didn't take it as ginko just lurking because it was interesting because she is TTC and it hasn't happened instantly...it seems like there may be more of a substantial reason behind her feeling she might need to post on TTTC...this is not quite the same as I have breasts so I might get breast cancer so let me lurk on a breast CA board. It seems more like I may have had trouble in the past, things aren't going well now, I may need this boards support let me see what it is about.
Post by melsamoony on Apr 22, 2014 13:41:37 GMT -5
AutumnRose25 I think this has gotten way out of hand. I think there was an over-reaction to a post about lurking on a board you are obviously protective of. I get it, you guys are tight and for good reason but to call someone out publicly for lurking on your board without knowing the whole story seems a little harsh. That is all I am saying...and I see this whole thing as kind of ironic.
Post by ginkgoleaf on Apr 22, 2014 14:14:33 GMT -5
Ok you know what? I was trying to let this whole argument blow over, which is why I had stopped responding and didn't defend myself more, but that's clearly not working.
You don't know what it took to conceive my DS, and I don't appreciate the assumptions being made that just because I have a kid already I couldn't possible relate to having trouble TTC. Even if TTC my first was easy, which it wasn't, it's possible for people to have secondary infertility when TTC again. No, I haven't talked much about TTC my son, but that doesn't mean it was easy peasy, alright? I don't appreciate all the assumptions being made about me by people who were clearly coming here just to pick a fight because of some old board rivalry. I have nothing at all against the TTTC board.
In regards to reading "just in case", that is not what I said. I said I was reading because "TTTC might be in my future" with TTC #2. But who knows, some people have trouble with the first and then the second is easy. Yes we're "only at 6 months" (thanks for counting for me) but given my history with TTC#1, I thought it prudent to read up a little and try to see if I would fit in there.
Lastly, this comparison to breast cancer is just strange. If I had a friend with breast cancer, yes, I would read up about it. I would Google it and probably come across some blogs or message boards that I would read. Would I post on them? Not unless it applied to me. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't learn something just by reading, like maybe a way to support my friend and to better understand the treatment process. And if it did apply to me, I would get the feel of the place before posting anything.
I truly didn't mean to hurt any feelings or cause an uproar. I think it's time we all move on and in an effort to keep the peace, I won't be commenting about this anymore.
First it was 'I haven't been TTC long enough to feel like I belong on TTTC" and now suddenly it's "we are starting IUI's next month"?
Oooooookay.
So......why not say that from the beginning?
Why feel like you can't intro on TTTC if you are starting IUI next cycle? That is like, EXACTLY what the board is there for/talks about/ offers support for.
Honestly, I'm having a hard time buying some of this.
Maybe because she's still coming to terms with it? Maybe she's not ready to talk about it yet? Maybe she's overwhelmed? Maybe she's unsure of her treatment next steps?
First it was 'I haven't been TTC long enough to feel like I belong on TTTC" and now suddenly it's "we are starting IUI's next month"?
Oooooookay.
So......why not say that from the beginning?
Why feel like you can't intro on TTTC if you are starting IUI next cycle? That is like, EXACTLY what the board is there for/talks about/ offers support for.
Honestly, I'm having a hard time buying some of this.
AR- When this happened to me there was a discussion on TTTC and a lot of people agreed that they started lurking when they began to realize it wasn't happening easily for them. I don't think the lurking before posting is weird because I think it's standard GBCN etiquette. With that said, I get that it's a small community and a place where people can feel vulnerable so the idea of people "watching you" is different than if it were a board like ML.
That's kind of the point. By lurking you know everybody else's history, but by not participating no one knows your which makes for a weird dynamic. If you feel TTTC is applicable to you then by all means stop over and say hello.
I am sure after being called out like this she will gladly run over and say hello. I don't see what is weird about lurking...I lurked on a lot of boards before ever posting and still do sometimes because I don't have anything to contribute.
Holy fuck did you miss the point. And a great big ^o) and right back at you.
I am sure after being called out like this she will gladly run over and say hello. I don't see what is weird about lurking...I lurked on a lot of boards before ever posting and still do sometimes because I don't have anything to contribute.
Holy fuck did you miss the point. And a great big and right back at you.