Morning. I'm an hour early for work and so hung over. Last night's Joan Jett concert was awesome and I might have met a really cute boy that I held hands with and kissed a little during the show. Like really cute, but he's 25. We exchanged numbers and maybe I'll keep him around for some innocent fun in the future.
Post by dreamcrisp1 on Apr 18, 2014 7:06:29 GMT -5
I got crazy drunk with work people last night and let's say we know a lot more about each other than ever!
Totally flameful.... I snooped through my boyfriends phone last week. I had a "good reason" but man I feel shitty for it.
My ex bf texted me last week too and I felt so smug that my life is now so wonderful and he's still in that place. He put me through hell so I'm gonna gloat!
Another flameful... I'm going to Europe and I'm not 100% sure how faithful I'll be. I'm trying so hard to be on my best behaviour but this is gonna be so hard.
Another flameful... I'm going to Europe and I'm not 100% sure how faithful I'll be. I'm trying so hard to be on my best behaviour but this is gonna be so hard.
Another flameful... I'm going to Europe and I'm not 100% sure how faithful I'll be. I'm trying so hard to be on my best behaviour but this is gonna be so hard.
Why is being faithful challenging?
When I start drinking, I get even more crazy. Plus my gf I'm Going with is single. I don't want to even do anything remotely questionable because it isn't worth it so I think I'll be ok. But I'm still worried about it. I've never travelled while in a relationship and based on past trips... That stuff cannot happen. But I don't think it will if I'm conscious about it.
This probably really is the most flameful thing I'll ever say on here (I hope, anyway): I am thinking about taking a break from here because there is a poster who I cannot separate from my personal life; as in, she reminds me too much of a person who had a really negative influence on me and I get irrationally irritated when posters interact with her. I understand that my issue stems from something in my life, but I find myself almost on the verge of upset when I see advice or "support" dished out toward this poster because it's innocently one-sided with good intentions without a real understanding of what it's like to deal with that type of person. I've tried to use the block function, but it sucks.
I know this will be thinly veiled for some of you who might know me better, but hey, it's fffc, right?...
This probably really is the most flameful thing I'll ever say on here (I hope, anyway): I am thinking about taking a break from here because there is a poster who I cannot separate from my personal life; as in, she reminds me too much of a person who had a really negative influence on me and I get irrationally irritated when posters interact with her. I understand that my issue stems from something in my life, but I find myself almost on the verge of upset when I see advice or "support" dished out toward this poster because it's innocently one-sided with good intentions without a real understanding of what it's like to deal with that type of person. I've tried to use the block function, but it sucks.
I know this will be thinly veiled for some of you who might know me better, but hey, it's fffc, right?...
My FFFC is that I immediately assumed this was about me. Maybe it's time I get back to the ol' therapist.
Also, my coworkers are being ridiculously loud for it not even being 8 in the morning, and I kind of want to throw a shoe at them.
Another flameful... I'm going to Europe and I'm not 100% sure how faithful I'll be. I'm trying so hard to be on my best behaviour but this is gonna be so hard.
Grow the fuck up. Or, break up if you cannot be an adult.
This probably really is the most flameful thing I'll ever say on here (I hope, anyway): I am thinking about taking a break from here because there is a poster who I cannot separate from my personal life; as in, she reminds me too much of a person who had a really negative influence on me and I get irrationally irritated when posters interact with her. I understand that my issue stems from something in my life, but I find myself almost on the verge of upset when I see advice or "support" dished out toward this poster because it's innocently one-sided with good intentions without a real understanding of what it's like to deal with that type of person. I've tried to use the block function, but it sucks.
I know this will be thinly veiled for some of you who might know me better, but hey, it's fffc, right?...
My FFFC is that I immediately assumed this was about me. Maybe it's time I get back to the ol' therapist.
Also, my coworkers are being ridiculously loud for it not even being 8 in the morning, and I kind of want to throw a shoe at them.
Don't worry, I'm pretty sure it's me. It is what it is bc I deserve most of the flack I get here.
glitzyglow- check your pms (haha, I'm leaving that).
My flameful is lame this week. I'm eating Easter chocolate for breakfast. I've been working so hard at the gym and with my trainer this week. And I'm blowing it with chocolate. But it is orange chocolate and SO worth it!
I'm insecure about dating Tux. Partially because he's the first person I've dated in Boston so technically the first person (other than the LDR with Batman) that I've dated exclusively since my divorce. He's also always so busy and women fawn over him for his money. I'm not rich and don't fit into his high society life. He is so sweet and seemingly smitten so I need to get over myself and just see where things go.
I'm insecure about dating Tux. Partially because he's the first person I've dated in Boston so technically the first person (other than the LDR with Batman) that I've dated exclusively since my divorce. He's also always so busy and women fawn over him for his money. I'm not rich and don't fit into his high society life. He is so sweet and seemingly smitten so I need to get over myself and just see where things go.
This mcc. Girl, you know you are fabulous. You're a good person, hilarious, kind, and sassy. You got this I love you!
I'm insecure about dating Tux. Partially because he's the first person I've dated in Boston so technically the first person (other than the LDR with Batman) that I've dated exclusively since my divorce. He's also always so busy and women fawn over him for his money. I'm not rich and don't fit into his high society life. He is so sweet and seemingly smitten so I need to get over myself and just see where things go.
Just take your time with it and see where things go. He does seem smitten with you too based on what you've posted here, so just enjoy it--who knows where it could lead?
My FFFC is that I immediately assumed this was about me. Maybe it's time I get back to the ol' therapist.
Also, my coworkers are being ridiculously loud for it not even being 8 in the morning, and I kind of want to throw a shoe at them.
Don't worry, I'm pretty sure it's me. It is what it is bc I deserve most of the flack I get here.
Ding ding.
It's not about the flack you receive here. It's the fact that you have no self-awareness. April 9th you posted that you were cutting off all men and focusing on yourself. April 11th you posted that you sexted someone. Last night you held hands and made out with a stranger...9 days after your self-proclaimed journey to find yourself.
Additionally, when people here point out that you are not always the victim, you spiral into name calling, hurtful words, and a dramatic deactivation. I'm inclined from my own experience to deduce that you're not all the different in real life when someone points out your fault, yet your mom is always the bitch, J is always the ass, etc. You asked J to propose for a year, showed him rings you liked, but then ran hot and cold as to whether he was right for you...and decided that cheating on him was the thing to do. You put the man emotionally through the ringer but somehow you are the victim when *after* you break up with him he starts sleeping with someone else. He's wasn't being malicious; it's fucking earth-shattering when the person you thought would spend your life with devastatingly hurts you. You do things you normally wouldn't do because you hurt. You hurt J. But god knows we need make this about you.
The posters here are getting the half-truth, all the time, from a very jaded perspective. It's exhausting. I was raised by someone who is exactly like you. Exactly. If I didn't know any better, I would swear my mom was posting here. And I'll say this now and I don't care how you take it or if you call me names: if you don't learn how to get some self-awareness, stop making yourself the victim, and get serious help on how to be a healthy person, you will hurt S immensely and she will have lifelong scars. And trust me, my mom loves me more than life itself. I know she'd die for me. But her illness, which is just like yours, has caused me to hurt beyond what anyone should have to feel toward their mother and it's fucked me up in most every aspect of my life. She didn't mean to, I understand that, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.
Don't worry, I'm pretty sure it's me. It is what it is bc I deserve most of the flack I get here.
Ding ding.
It's not about the flack you receive here. It's the fact that you have no self-awareness. April 9th you posted that you were cutting off all men and focusing on yourself. April 11th you posted that you sexted someone. Last night you held hands and made out with a stranger...9 days after your self-proclaimed journey to find yourself.
Additionally, when people here point out that you are not always the victim, you spiral into name calling, hurtful words, and a dramatic deactivation. I'm inclined from my own experience to deduce that you're not all the different in real life when someone points out your fault, yet your mom is always the bitch, J is always the ass, etc. You asked J to propose for a year, showed him rings you liked, but then ran hot and cold as to whether he was right for you...and decided that cheating on him was the thing to do. You put the man emotionally through the ringer but somehow you are the victim when *after* you break up with him he starts sleeping with someone else. He's wasn't being malicious; it's fucking earth-shattering when the person you thought would spend your life with devastatingly hurts you. You do things you normally wouldn't do because you hurt. You hurt J. But god knows we need make this about you.
The posters here are getting the half-truth, all the time, from a very jaded perspective. It's exhausting. I was raised by someone who is exactly like you. Exactly. If I didn't know any better, I would swear my mom was posting here. And I'll say this now and I don't care how you take it or if you call me names: if you don't learn how to get some self-awareness, stop making yourself the victim, and get serious help on how to be a healthy person, you will hurt S immensely and she will have lifelong scars. And trust me, my mom loves me more than life itself. I know she'd die for me. But her illness, which is just like yours, has caused me to hurt beyond what anyone should have to feel toward their mother and it's fucked me up in most every aspect of my life. She didn't mean to, I understand that, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.
Don't worry, I'm pretty sure it's me. It is what it is bc I deserve most of the flack I get here.
Ding ding.
It's not about the flack you receive here. It's the fact that you have no self-awareness. April 9th you posted that you were cutting off all men and focusing on yourself. April 11th you posted that you sexted someone. Last night you held hands and made out with a stranger...9 days after your self-proclaimed journey to find yourself.
Additionally, when people here point out that you are not always the victim, you spiral into name calling, hurtful words, and a dramatic deactivation. I'm inclined from my own experience to deduce that you're not all the different in real life when someone points out your fault, yet your mom is always the bitch, J is always the ass, etc. You asked J to propose for a year, showed him rings you liked, but then ran hot and cold as to whether he was right for you...and decided that cheating on him was the thing to do. You put the man emotionally through the ringer but somehow you are the victim when *after* you break up with him he starts sleeping with someone else. He's wasn't being malicious; it's fucking earth-shattering when the person you thought would spend your life with devastatingly hurts you. You do things you normally wouldn't do because you hurt. You hurt J. But god knows we need make this about you.
The posters here are getting the half-truth, all the time, from a very jaded perspective. It's exhausting. I was raised by someone who is exactly like you. Exactly. If I didn't know any better, I would swear my mom was posting here. And I'll say this now and I don't care how you take it or if you call me names: if you don't learn how to get some self-awareness, stop making yourself the victim, and get serious help on how to be a healthy person, you will hurt S immensely and she will have lifelong scars. And trust me, my mom loves me more than life itself. I know she'd die for me. But her illness, which is just like yours, has caused me to hurt beyond what anyone should have to feel toward their mother and it's fucked me up in most every aspect of my life. She didn't mean to, I understand that, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.
I'm totally respectful of your feelings and I understand where you are coming from. I'm not the most mentally sound person, but I'm trying to do what's best for me and my daughter. At least I left J, instead of sticking him in a relationship where I wouldn't be fair to him. You're right, I am selfish sometimes. A lot of times. But a lot of times I am not. I am not getting defensive at all, and you have every right to feel the way you do about me. Everyone has every right to feel the way they do about me. I'm not playing victim, I'm honestly fessing up for being a complete and total fuck up in the past. No woah is me, no you don't know my lyyyyfe, no nothing like that. I messed up, I keep messing up, and I'm doing the best that I know how to survive this life now. I'm out of my comfort zone living alone and trying to do this alone, and I'm really trying. I don't want to step on anyone's toes or get anyone angry at me. I'm sorry you feel the way you do and I'm sorry that I burned some bridges here.
Thanks liuFormerlyRRcuddlyevil. I know that part of the reason I'm refreshing to him is because I'm so far from the women he's dated. He's made comments that he loves my camo hat that I run in, that it's so nice to walk next to a woman who isn't complaining about her 4" heels and he has introduced me to his good friend and neighbor and invited me to social events as his date. It's totally my issue to get over. But I imagine a social situation in which someone asks where I "summer" and I shrink into the floor in tears because I don't "summer" anywhere. I can barely remember what each side of a boat is called, let alone belong to a yacht club!
I just want to state for the record that I think the constant Liu bashing and pile-ons are cruel and are absolutely disgusting. She is obviously doing the best she can. Anyone who feels the need to lash out at her should take a hard look in the mirror and ask themselves why they get pleasure out of kicking someone when they're down.
You have no idea what kind of a mother she is. Great people can be terrible parents and highly flawed people can do just fine at it. What a fucking disgusting accusation to make. My stomach actually hurts from reading that vitriol.
I'm done with SO. This place is just terrible. I can't tolerate the unkind behavior. You ladies are fucking bullies.
Aw mcc, don't worry about that! Just be honest or say you haven't found a place that suits you yet. You're smart, he likes you (and appreciates you for who you are--that's important!). He wouldn't bring you into his world if he didn't think you were worth it and unable to handle it.
I'm totally respectful of your feelings and I understand where you are coming from. I'm not the most mentally sound person, but I'm trying to do what's best for me and my daughter. At least I left J, instead of sticking him in a relationship where I wouldn't be fair to him. You're right, I am selfish sometimes. A lot of times. But a lot of times I am not. I am not getting defensive at all, and you have every right to feel the way you do about me. Everyone has every right to feel the way they do about me. I'm not playing victim, I'm honestly fessing up for being a complete and total fuck up in the past. No woah is me, no you don't know my lyyyyfe, no nothing like that. I messed up, I keep messing up, and I'm doing the best that I know how to survive this life now. I'm out of my comfort zone living alone and trying to do this alone, and I'm really trying. I don't want to step on anyone's toes or get anyone angry at me. I'm sorry you feel the way you do and I'm sorry that I burned some bridges here.
Do not validate yourself here and delude yourself into thinking you did him a favor. You hurt him because you convinced yourself that you were victim in the relationship and needed validation of self-approval. Fair to him would have been to leave the relationship without inflicting the terrible pain of betrayal upon him.
I'm not saying you are selfish and this isn't about selfishiness. This is about self-awareness and wrongful victimization coupled with behavior that is destructive to those you love the most.
I'm totally respectful of your feelings and I understand where you are coming from. I'm not the most mentally sound person, but I'm trying to do what's best for me and my daughter. At least I left J, instead of sticking him in a relationship where I wouldn't be fair to him. You're right, I am selfish sometimes. A lot of times. But a lot of times I am not. I am not getting defensive at all, and you have every right to feel the way you do about me. Everyone has every right to feel the way they do about me. I'm not playing victim, I'm honestly fessing up for being a complete and total fuck up in the past. No woah is me, no you don't know my lyyyyfe, no nothing like that. I messed up, I keep messing up, and I'm doing the best that I know how to survive this life now. I'm out of my comfort zone living alone and trying to do this alone, and I'm really trying. I don't want to step on anyone's toes or get anyone angry at me. I'm sorry you feel the way you do and I'm sorry that I burned some bridges here.
Do not validate yourself here and delude yourself into thinking you did him a favor. You hurt him because you convinced yourself that you were victim in the relationship and needed validation of self-approval. Fair to him would have been to leave the relationship without inflicting the terrible pain of betrayal upon him.
I'm not saying you are selfish and this isn't about selfishiness. This is about self-awareness and wrongful victimization coupled with behavior that is destructive to those you love the most.
This isn't quite correct in my perspective. I didn't do him a favor at all, and I know this. I hurt him badly. I feel terrible for hurting him and although we tried to make it work, I couldn't stay with him because I knew I would continuously hurt him. He deserves a better chance with someone better suited for him.
I just want to state for the record that I think the constant Liu bashing and pile-ons are cruel and are absolutely disgusting. She is obviously doing the best she can. Anyone who feels the need to lash out at her should take a hard look in the mirror and ask themselves why they get pleasure out of kicking someone when they're down.
You have no idea what kind of a mother she is. Great people can be terrible parents and highly flawed people can do just fine at it. What a fucking disgusting accusation to make. My stomach actually hurts from reading that vitriol.
I'm done with SO. This place is just terrible. I can't tolerate the unkind behavior. You ladies are fucking bullies.
Ironically, I want Liu to get better, perhaps desperately so. She is her own worst enemy and she needs intense help to be healthy. Liu has a mental illness that has a textbook definition of behaviors and without correct intervention and help, she will hurt and she will hurt others. It's hard for me to watch her post because she isn't seeing that she is the one who is destroying all that she works hard to build. One flick of the match and it's gone. Yet normally when people point it out, she flails, posts incredibly hurtful words at posters and flees, then comes back as if she did nothing wrong. That type of behavior normally isn't limited to an internet forum.
Do not validate yourself here and delude yourself into thinking you did him a favor. You hurt him because you convinced yourself that you were victim in the relationship and needed validation of self-approval. Fair to him would have been to leave the relationship without inflicting the terrible pain of betrayal upon him.
I'm not saying you are selfish and this isn't about selfishiness. This is about self-awareness and wrongful victimization coupled with behavior that is destructive to those you love the most.
This isn't quite correct in my perspective. I didn't do him a favor at all, and I know this. I hurt him badly. I feel terrible for hurting him and although we tried to make it work, I couldn't stay with him because I knew I would continuously hurt him. He deserves a better chance with someone better suited for him.
Then why did you hurt him so badly before you left him? Why not leave without the cheating? That's my point. Betrayal is a beast to deal with and from your posts I'm inclined to believe that J loved you deeply and wanted to spend his life with you. Ending that would have been painful but understandable, yet you didn't do until you went out of your way to cause another bout of awful pain. You caused unnecessary pain to someone you care about...why? That's the self-awareness you need before you can be in a healthy relationship with anyone, family, friends, lovers, etc.
This isn't quite correct in my perspective. I didn't do him a favor at all, and I know this. I hurt him badly. I feel terrible for hurting him and although we tried to make it work, I couldn't stay with him because I knew I would continuously hurt him. He deserves a better chance with someone better suited for him.
Then why did you hurt him so badly before you left him? Why not leave without the cheating? That's my point. Betrayal is a beast to deal with and from your posts I'm inclined to believe that J loved you deeply and wanted to spend his life with you. Ending that would have been painful but understandable, yet you didn't do until you went out of your way to cause another bout of awful pain. You caused unnecessary pain to someone you care about...why? That's the self-awareness you need before you can be in a healthy relationship with anyone, family, friends, lovers, etc.
You are 100% right about me hurting him so badly. Why did I do it? I didn't do it to be vindictive or spiteful. J wasn't even on my mind when I cheated. It was about me, which I know sounds so wrong and so bad, but it's the truth and I owe everyone that. I owed J the truth and I told him straight up what I did. It wasn't about him. He did love me. I loved him but not in the same capacity. We are better friends now than we have ever been. It's better this way. I'm not making any excuses because I did what I did. I fucked up and I owned it. I still own it. I don't have much else to say on this topic except if you don't like me for my actions or integrity or whatever, that's okay. No one has to like me. Everyone has their own opinion of me and that is their prerogative.
I just want to state for the record that I think the constant Liu bashing and pile-ons are cruel and are absolutely disgusting. She is obviously doing the best she can. Anyone who feels the need to lash out at her should take a hard look in the mirror and ask themselves why they get pleasure out of kicking someone when they're down.
You have no idea what kind of a mother she is. Great people can be terrible parents and highly flawed people can do just fine at it. What a fucking disgusting accusation to make. My stomach actually hurts from reading that vitriol.
I'm done with SO. This place is just terrible. I can't tolerate the unkind behavior. You ladies are fucking bullies.
Ironically, I want Liu to get better, perhaps desperately so. She is her own worst enemy and she needs intense help to be healthy. Liu has a mental illness that has a textbook definition of behaviors and without correct intervention and help, she will hurt and she will hurt others. It's hard for me to watch her post because she isn't seeing that she is the one who is destroying all that she works hard to build. One flick of the match and it's gone. Yet normally when people point it out, she flails, posts incredibly hurtful words at posters and flees, then comes back as if she did nothing wrong. That type of behavior normally isn't limited to an internet forum.
But, alas, you will read into it what you want.
If you really desperately wanted her to get better, you wouldn't have such a strong negative reaction to her recieving support and help on this board, and you wouldn't imply that we shouldn't bother helping her.
You really, truly need to ask yourself why you would lash out at someone who is just trying to make their way through the world. Maybe you should learn to give advice freely because you want to help, with no strings attached, and accept that when people make poor decisions it's because they have a lot to learn, not because they are bad people who aren't worth much.
I just want to state for the record that I think the constant Liu bashing and pile-ons are cruel and are absolutely disgusting. She is obviously doing the best she can. Anyone who feels the need to lash out at her should take a hard look in the mirror and ask themselves why they get pleasure out of kicking someone when they're down.
You have no idea what kind of a mother she is. Great people can be terrible parents and highly flawed people can do just fine at it. What a fucking disgusting accusation to make. My stomach actually hurts from reading that vitriol.
I'm done with SO. This place is just terrible. I can't tolerate the unkind behavior. You ladies are fucking bullies.
That was not a pile on. This seems like a gross overreaction.
I just want to state for the record that I think the constant Liu bashing and pile-ons are cruel and are absolutely disgusting. She is obviously doing the best she can. Anyone who feels the need to lash out at her should take a hard look in the mirror and ask themselves why they get pleasure out of kicking someone when they're down.
You have no idea what kind of a mother she is. Great people can be terrible parents and highly flawed people can do just fine at it. What a fucking disgusting accusation to make. My stomach actually hurts from reading that vitriol.
I'm done with SO. This place is just terrible. I can't tolerate the unkind behavior. You ladies are fucking bullies.
That was not a pile on. This seems like a gross overreaction.
I don't believe spearmintleaf was stating that this particular occurrence was a pile on. It's just that many times it's how the liu pile ons start. There is a pattern.
I do have to say spearmintleaf that I appreciate the backup. You've been a good person to me, and I'm glad we met.
I'm insecure about dating Tux. Partially because he's the first person I've dated in Boston so technically the first person (other than the LDR with Batman) that I've dated exclusively since my divorce. He's also always so busy and women fawn over him for his money. I'm not rich and don't fit into his high society life. He is so sweet and seemingly smitten so I need to get over myself and just see where things go.
You are awesome! You're playful, funny, and smart. He sounds like he is fun and wants someone who is also fun, which you are.
I got crazy drunk with work people last night and let's say we know a lot more about each other than ever!
Totally flameful.... I snooped through my boyfriends phone last week. I had a "good reason" but man I feel shitty for it.
My ex bf texted me last week too and I felt so smug that my life is now so wonderful and he's still in that place. He put me through hell so I'm gonna gloat!
Another flameful... I'm going to Europe and I'm not 100% sure how faithful I'll be. I'm trying so hard to be on my best behaviour but this is gonna be so hard.
So you are snooping in his phone and worried about being faithful? These both seem like some pretty red flags