We ended up going through reproductive medicine. I had always wanted 2 kids, and then ended up with twins. Pregnancy was a breeze for me, so there were definitely times when I thought, "hey, I want to do this again". But then I had a delivery full of complications and PPP, so that pretty much closed the door on any future pregnancies.
I would say that our decision is a combination of both heart and head- I feel like our family is complete with our girls, and I also know that I couldn't go through drama that went along with the postpartum period again.
We have had one kid so far, and we made the decision years ago that we would have a max of two kids. For us, it is a money/lifestyle choice - we both work, daycare is $$$, it's easier going places with a family of four vs five, etc. Now that we have ds, there's a chance we'll stick at one kid since my H can't see going through the baby stage again. DS isn't yet 10 months, so we're not making any concrete plans yet. I don't feel like our family is complete yet, but we'll see.
This is where we are at. The baby stage was miserable here. We both have the scars and the antidepressants to prove it.
For me it is a heart decision. My family just feels complete. There are times I hold a newborn and want another one for a brief second but when I close my eyes and invision my family 5 or 10 years down the road we are a family of four.
Post by wildfloweragain on Apr 19, 2014 17:49:03 GMT -5
I feel like I'm being pulled in too many directions and they don't each get enough time with me as it is. If I stayed at home my number would be 4 and H agrees. But I work, so 3 it is.
1. I suffer migraines when I am pregnant, for weeks (with DD1) or months (with DD2) at a time. I also have them when my hormones change during weaning (I have had one going on for 2.5 weeks now...fortunately it's mild). I cannot do another pregnancy. I just don't have it in me.
2. We always wanted two kids.
3. With two kids, we can afford to give them the things we want without sacrificing too many of the things we want.
4. With two, we feel like we will have more years to enjoy where they are both kids (out of diapers, done napping, but not ornery teenagers/too cool for mom and dad yet) vs. if we added a third and 3 extra years of diapers and naps.
5. I made it through two pregnancies with no stretch marks and I don't believe in tempting fate.
I always wanted three kids, but it looks like we are stopping at 2. I had high risk pregnancies with both my kids, but even still was going to try for a third. I met with a high risk doctor who said he supported me trying for baby number three, but after that "I should be done and count my blessings." However, due to other health issues I have been on dangerous medications for years now. I need to be off of them for 6 months in order to get pregnant (and then stay off of them for the entire pregnancy)but so far 6 weeks is the longest i've been able to be off before all my symptoms return and I need to get back on them....I can't function without them, the pain is excruciating. I've been waiting to be healthy for 6 years now for my final baby and it doesn't look like its going to happen. It took me a long time to move on. I have had anger and depression that my body has failed me in so many ways. We had even added an extra bedroom onto our house in anticipation of baby number three, but turning that into an office has helped me move on. It was as if the empty room was mocking me every time I walked by. Also my kids are 9 and 7 now and very into sports...the idea of chasing a toddler around a hockey rink, football field, lacrosse field etc., doesn't sound that fun to me anymore
Post by vanillacourage on Apr 20, 2014 9:47:26 GMT -5
I would love to be pregnant again. I would love to have a squishy little newborn in the house again. I do not want a third small person waking me up at 5am or screeching from the backseat.
I'd love another baby. I don't want to raise another child.
DH and I crave time to be ourselves and husband/wife vs Mom and Dad. Having a third would tip those scales out of balance for us.