Being an only was very lonely for me growing up. I always wished I had siblings. I feel I lack the social skills you gain from having siblings. On the other hand, I excelled with being an independent person. Having just had my 2nd DD, I simply adore the bond that they have together. This is something I didn't expect or think about ahead of time. I only feared jealousy issues.
I had 2 sisters, little neighborhood friends, etc. and I was painfully shy with terrible social skills for a really long time. Being an awkward late bloomer had nothing to do with my family unit, some of us are just like that, man!
I guess the social skills I'm talking about are more like sharing, etc. I'm not shy at all. Maybe I could have labeled them something different than "social".
DS is 5. He will likely be an only so the financial and time concerns, plus DH is 42 and while I'm 33 I hates being pregnant and don't know how I could so it with DS. He's been pulling my heart strings this weekend because my brother is visiting and he keeps calling his cousin his brother. We hope be will have string friendships and invite buddies along on outings and may extend that to vacations as he gets older.
I struggle with this decision as well. There are days where I definitely want another and other days where I can't imagine another. H and I have talked about it a lot and we are both on the same page as far as not knowing what to do. We are young and have time so for now, going to enjoy having one and see how we feel when she's older (like 4 or 5) before revisiting the discussion.
Both H and I have one sibling. My sister and I are 17 months apart. We are night and day different. Growing up, our relationship was always up and down and continues to be that way as adults. Now that we are both mothers, I think we have more respect for each other and we try harder at our relationship. Sometimes it's great and we really connect and others, we don't. I will say though, I love her and I can't imagine not having her as my sister.
My H and his sister are 4 years apart. They never, ever got along and have never been close. When he talks about his childhood, he really has no memories of playing with his sister or anything like that. Their relationship has been tumultuous as adults and they rarely speak unless we're at a family function.
Both of our situations play into our decision to have or not to have another. We just need more time to figure out what the best decision will be.
Every situation is different and whatever decision you make will be the right one for your family.
Then there are days where I just... Don't. I'm happy with one. I'm able to focus on my career. DD is very happy having all of our attention (when we are with her lol). She is in full time daycare and is always around kids. She also doesn't have first cousins (get on it siblings! We have 5 siblings between the two of us!) , but my first cousin has a girl 6 weeks older (plus 2 more boys) so there's that.
I'm also on a lot of meds I'd have to get off, I hated being pregnant with a passion, and it seriously detailed my career. I don't think I can be incapacitated for another 2 years when my career is taking off.
however, I would consider adopting a 2-3 year old in a few years. That may be our solution. Sibling without pregnancy.
i'm gonna be *that* girl and answer for her h. he's an only. he loves it. most of his cousins are overseas and much older. the two in the states are much older and lived/live in other states.
but he always had lots of kids & friends his age around. his parents were part of a tight-knit immigrant community. everyone had kids, and mh hung out with them. the parents often took turns having each others' kids over. when they went out to dinner, they would often have mh invite a friend. same for trips--mh's best friend would often join them for the trip. it seems you've got a similar community of friends w/kids in your neighborhood & w/the oc peeps.
my hs bff was also an only, and her dad would invite us over all the time, take us all out to dinner together so she had company, and invite one or two of us on vacation with them quite often, too.
both mh & hs bff have more friends and are more socially adept than i.
I'm an only and I love it. I honestly think that those that talk about being introverted or feeling isolated or not knowing how to deal with people are like that because that's their personality and not simply because they were only children.
When I went off to college I had no problem sharing a room or bathroom. It never even occurred to me that I might have a difficulty with this since I'm an only until people started mentioning it.
I didn't grow up near any cousins because we moved around a lot. But I never had a problem making friends.
My parents were able to give me a lot such as paid a lot for my soccer career, paid for most of my college, still continue to help me out financially as needed and that doesn't include the undivided emotional support. They were always at my games and events.
I think I turned out pretty awesome and I think my parents gave me a great life