UWR's Ferber Saga

[underwaterrhymes]

Ferber, man.

[gretchenindisguise]

You can do it!

You're in the thick of it. Tomorrow will be better.

[nymama]

The first few nights are so hard and heart wrenching. Hang in there, it will get easier.

[themoneytree]

We regressed after 3 nights and I was convinced we had a kid it wouldn't work for. Stayed firm and we have had the most wonderful sleeper for the longest time (touching wood).

Stick with it - it's not just for you, it's for him too. He'll be so much happier once he can put himself back to sleep.

Keep strong and DO NOT GIVE IN or you will just teach him that screaming longer works to get what he wants.

[underwaterrhymes]

I'm holding my breath right now. He's asleep.

I realize this might be a fluke, but this is what this looked like.

6:47 - Down
6:50 - Check for 2 minutes
6:58 - Check for 2 minutes
7:06 - Asleep? (!!!)

We didn't even have to do the 10 minute check.

ETA - I cried already, though. And finished my (first glass of) wine.

[themoneytree]

Apr 18, 2014 18:09:49 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

I'm holding my breath right now. He's asleep.

I realize this might be a fluke, but this is what this looked like.

6:47 - Down
6:50 - Check for 2 minutes
6:58 - Check for 2 minutes
7:06 - Asleep? (!!!)

We didn't even have to do the 10 minutes check.

Well now! : )

Just remember regression could happen and stick with it! There's nothing more demoralizing than thinking you've cracked it and then have it not work again, but it will!

[SKP82]

UWR, did you read the book first? I want to do this with DD, but only just started the book. Is it necessary?

She goes to sleep pretty well on her own, but when she wakes in the MOTN, can't put herself back to sleep.

[maggiemoo]

Shudder. Been there. Once as babies and once as toddlers. It will get better. And it will be worth it. Hang in there.

[eddy]

Good job mama!

[themoneytree]

Apr 18, 2014 18:14:03 GMT -5 SKP82 said:

UWR, did you read the book first? I want to do this with DD, but only just started the book. Is it necessary?

She goes to sleep pretty well on her own, but when she wakes in the MOTN, can't put herself back to sleep.

How old?
Once ours was night weaned (early because she was huge and could go longer without nursing), I would go in and pat her belly or hold her hand. No eye contact and leave while baby is still awake. She would yell harder as I left, but she got it really fast.

[rex]

Apr 18, 2014 18:14:03 GMT -5 SKP82 said:

UWR, did you read the book first? I want to do this with DD, but only just started the book. Is it necessary?

She goes to sleep pretty well on her own, but when she wakes in the MOTN, can't put herself back to sleep.

not uwr, but i read the book and found it extremely helpful.

we have not even had to do sleep training but it has helped me figure out some other things with night time sleep vs. naps.

the crying part is only a few pages. it outlines time intervals and what do do at a check.

[underwaterrhymes]

Apr 18, 2014 18:14:03 GMT -5 SKP82 said:

UWR, did you read the book first? I want to do this with DD, but only just started the book. Is it necessary?

She goes to sleep pretty well on her own, but when she wakes in the MOTN, can't put herself back to sleep.

Yes, I have so many books on Kindle, including Ferber's. I think I read like 5 of them ranging from "let them sleep in your bed until they are 13" to "no checks, no nothing, just let them CIO."

To me, Ferber sounded like the most well-researched and quickest option, but obviously we waited a long time to implement it.

I think the book is important because the REM stuff is really interesting and, I think, useful to have as background, but right now I'm using a guide I found online with regard to checks. I don't know that it's necessary, but I'm glad I read it first.

[callalily]

Hang on there! Drink wine and cry. But it does get better!! The first is the worst. ((Hugs))

[sewpinkgal]

You're doing great! I hope the rest of the night is smooth - enjoy your next glass of wine!

[SKP82]

Apr 18, 2014 18:16:46 GMT -5 themoneytree said:

Apr 18, 2014 18:14:03 GMT -5 SKP82 said:

UWR, did you read the book first? I want to do this with DD, but only just started the book. Is it necessary?

She goes to sleep pretty well on her own, but when she wakes in the MOTN, can't put herself back to sleep.

How old?
Once ours was night weaned (early because she was huge and could go longer without nursing), I would go in and pat her belly or hold her hand. No eye contact and leave while baby is still awake. She would yell harder as I left, but she got it really fast.

6 months. She still nurses once at night usually (though last night she STTN). What's been happening recently is that she'll wake up 2-3 hours after falling asleep. It takes my H 15 mins to get her to go back to sleep. If I go in, she won't calm down until I nurse her.

Also, she is only taking 20-30 min naps. I know she's still sleepy, but she won't go back to sleep.

Sorry to thread jack.

[underwaterrhymes]

Apr 18, 2014 18:26:43 GMT -5 SKP82 said:

Apr 18, 2014 18:16:46 GMT -5 themoneytree said:

How old?
Once ours was night weaned (early because she was huge and could go longer without nursing), I would go in and pat her belly or hold her hand. No eye contact and leave while baby is still awake. She would yell harder as I left, but she got it really fast.

6 months. She still nurses once at night usually (though last night she STTN). What's been happening recently is that she'll wake up 2-3 hours after falling asleep. It takes my H 15 mins to get her to go back to sleep. If I go in, she won't calm down until I nurse her.

Also, she is only taking 20-30 min naps. I know she's still sleepy, but she won't go back to sleep.

Sorry to thread jack.

NO WORRIES. There is room for more than one sleep training parent in here.

[themoneytree]

Apr 18, 2014 18:26:43 GMT -5 SKP82 said:

Apr 18, 2014 18:16:46 GMT -5 themoneytree said:

How old?
Once ours was night weaned (early because she was huge and could go longer without nursing), I would go in and pat her belly or hold her hand. No eye contact and leave while baby is still awake. She would yell harder as I left, but she got it really fast.

6 months. She still nurses once at night usually (though last night she STTN). What's been happening recently is that she'll wake up 2-3 hours after falling asleep. It takes my H 15 mins to get her to go back to sleep. If I go in, she won't calm down until I nurse her.

Also, she is only taking 20-30 min naps. I know she's still sleepy, but she won't go back to sleep.

Sorry to thread jack.

Is she ready to night wean?
If so I would start offering her a bottle with an ounce or two in it and then start watering it down. Our kiddo eventually decided water wasn't worth waking up for.

I can't remember when we got tough on sleep but I think it was about that age. Maybe a little later. When you decide to do it I would not spend any time trying to get her back to sleep. She's in charge of getting herself to sleep. You make sure she is ok, no poop, not sick, etc. Then you leave while she is still awake. I was in with her for less than a minute unless there was a problem. Of course all bets are off if kiddo is sick.

I realize this sounds a bit hard ass, but seriously my kid is the most amazing sleeper. At least so far!

ETA: I can't advise on naps - I was so afraid of messing up the nighttime work we had done that I didn't get her to nap in her crib until 11 months. Then she started to refuse to nap on me and I got desperate and put her in the crib and left. 3 minutes of crying then 2 hour nap. I so wish I had got serious about it WAY earlier.

I should add that blacking out the windows was key to her late wake ups and great naps (now 2.5 - 3 hours).

[jreeds]

Keep at it it gets better

[SKP82]

Apr 18, 2014 18:35:04 GMT -5 themoneytree said:

Apr 18, 2014 18:26:43 GMT -5 SKP82 said:

6 months. She still nurses once at night usually (though last night she STTN). What's been happening recently is that she'll wake up 2-3 hours after falling asleep. It takes my H 15 mins to get her to go back to sleep. If I go in, she won't calm down until I nurse her.

Also, she is only taking 20-30 min naps. I know she's still sleepy, but she won't go back to sleep.

Sorry to thread jack.

Is she ready to night wean?
If so I would start offering her a bottle with an ounce or two in it and then start watering it down. Our kiddo eventually decided water wasn't worth waking up for.

I can't remember when we got tough on sleep but I think it was about that age. Maybe a little later. When you decide to do it I would not spend any time trying to get her back to sleep. She's in charge of getting herself to sleep. You make sure she is ok, no poop, not sick, etc. Then you leave while she is still awake. I was in with her for less than a minute unless there was a problem. Of course all bets are off if kiddo is sick.

I realize this sounds a bit hard ass, but seriously my kid is the most amazing sleeper. At least so far!

She's still pretty small, so if she needs/wants to nurse MOTN, that's ok with me. What sucks (and is new) is the waking up after 2-3 hours. She was sleeping 8, waking up, nursing, then sleeping another 3. And no issues going down after the MOTN nursing session.

And the naps suck. Today she woke up and was sitting up in her crib crying when I came in. She's a much happier baby when she is napping at least an hour.

[jaycee]

Apr 18, 2014 18:09:49 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

I'm holding my breath right now. He's asleep.

I realize this might be a fluke, but this is what this looked like.

6:47 - Down
6:50 - Check for 2 minutes
6:58 - Check for 2 minutes
7:06 - Asleep? (!!!)

We didn't even have to do the 10 minute check.

ETA - I cried already, though. And finished my (first glass of) wine.

This is a huge success! High five!

[sara76]

We did CIO at 17 months because bedtime was getting so stressful it was making my H and I fight each other. We had to finally join forces and do it. But we were still stressed out the whole time, so we literally sat in opposite rooms and texted each other support through it. That way we had time to backspace before we snapped at each other. It was hard and awful for a few nights and then walla, bedtime is pleasant and good. Hang in there.

[mommytutu]

It gets easier. Good luck!!

[daisybuchannan]

I'm happy to see he fell asleep so quickly!

Now, it's wine time for you

[underwaterrhymes]

Apr 18, 2014 19:01:53 GMT -5 daisybuchannan said:

I'm happy to see he fell asleep so quickly!

Now, it's wine time for you

Also brownie time.

[daisybuchannan]

Apr 18, 2014 19:04:18 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

Apr 18, 2014 19:01:53 GMT -5 daisybuchannan said:

I'm happy to see he fell asleep so quickly!

Now, it's wine time for you

Also brownie time.

I can't have wine, but it's chocolate chip cookie o'clock here

[karmasabiotch]

I'm sure it's awful but you're doing a great thing. I screwed it all up and am having to try it with an almost 6 year old. You're doing what's best for your child.

[underwaterrhymes]

Apr 18, 2014 19:10:32 GMT -5 @natariru said:

My kid is currently scream crying "Mama! Mama! Mama!" in his crib. I used to have a great sleeper. Then molars showed up.

I'm going to pound a glass of wine and send H up

Cheers mama. Our night is far from over. He's sleeping now but we will be on round 2 soon enough.

[alzi]

Apr 18, 2014 19:10:32 GMT -5 @natariru said:

My kid is currently scream crying "Mama! Mama! Mama!" in his crib. I used to have a great sleeper. Then molars showed up.

I'm going to pound a glass of wine and send H up

Hm, maybe it's a good thing my kid refuses to say mama

[Deleted]

Good luck tonight! It's hard but it gets easier. For us, going in to comfort made it worse. You got this.

[alzi]

Apr 18, 2014 19:30:03 GMT -5 @natariru said:

Apr 18, 2014 19:28:19 GMT -5 alzi said:

Hm, maybe it's a good thing my kid refuses to say mama

This is a very recent thing. H looked at me all shocked the first time and was like "manipulative at 12 months! We are screwed!" Lol it really does break my heart

I ask A to say mommy and she smirks and says daddy. Lol