STBXH and I have been separated for 2.5 months and decided on divorce only a couple of weeks ago. So I'm nowhere near ready to date. At all. It was a rough relationship, so I'll probably give myself about a year, but I'm not going to set any deadlines or limitations.
Well, just out of curiosity and boredom, I just looked at a dating site (did not create a profile). OMG it's awful! I want to crawl into a cave and never date again!
"I can type all of the wonderful things about myself to make this profile stand out. But if I was so wonderful as my description would have you believe then I wouldn't be here."
I feel the same way. It's beyond overwhelming. I think it shows how unready we are to date. I'm hoping I'll be able to before my 40th birthday (7 years from now).
Post by cuddlyevil on Apr 19, 2014 21:31:49 GMT -5
I nexted a guy who had the phrase "I like to see my girl shacking with pleasure".
Serenity, my stbx started dating three weeks after we decided to split. I only just now decided to get my feet wet. It takes time, but if you're not ready that's ok.
I nexted a guy who had the phrase "I like to see my girl shacking with pleasure".
Serenity, my stbx started dating three weeks after we decided to split. I only just now decided to get my feet wet. It takes time, but if you're not ready that's ok.
I don't know what's worse about that first sentence, the misspelling or the reference to sex.
After my divorce, I took about a year off because I knew I wasn't ready to date. My XH took the engagement ring I gave back to him and gave it to his GF (now W) before our papers were even filed. Also, before DH, I was dating a guy that was fresh out of a breakup. We both knew I was his rebound, but it didn't make it any easier when he developed feelings and decided to take a step back, even though we agreed that that's what he'd do if needed. So, basically I'm taking 3X as long to say the same thing that CE said. We all move along at our own pace. Do what makes you comfortable, and don't worry about what others are up to.
I've heard that sometimes you have to dig through the garbage to find the good ones, and while I cringe at calling human beings garbage...um, yeah, some really big pieces of garbage have messaged me on dating sites. There will also be the dates where you can speak well and find a few things in common but there is absolutely NO spark. I've gone on a coffee date with someone I had so little chemistry with it could've been coffee with my grandpa. But! I think when you're ready you'll eventually find a good guy to spend time with. It just takes a lot of time and eventually feeling ready.
All you can do is laugh at the stupid profiles and keep clicking. I enjoyed getting stupid messages because I thought it was hilarious and I'd make sure to share them on here. My favorite is the guy who claimed to write erotica for a living and sent me a sample that was terrible! So, yeah, lots of duds but also some nice guys. I met my BF on OKC...after weeding through lots of creepers.