What would your reaction be...

[TemperanceBrennan]

Apr 19, 2014 22:35:48 GMT -5 @jezebel said:

And the other thing is, this kid has a ton of behavioral/developmental issues (he's adopted). I just wonder if... idk, maybe she feels like this is the least of his problems? Picking her battle?

I get picking your battles, but this is definitely a battle you pick. It just has to be. (I was a guardian to a teen with behavioral/acting out issues. All the other stuff is hard and exhausting, but you have to do it when it something serious like that.)

[underwaterrhymes]

I am pretty sure my head would fly right off my body and into the stratosphere.

[thinkofthesoldiers]

Apr 20, 2014 2:59:32 GMT -5 nuggetbrain said:

I would have a calm, rational discussion about what he did and why it was wrong, including the legal consequences he was opening himself up to. Then I would take away his phone and ground him for a month.





LAWLS, no, not really, I would force him to watch Chris Hanson asking people to take a seat for hours while screaming "THESE ARE THE PEOPLE WHO ASK FOR DICK PICS. IS THIS WHO YOU WANT SEEING YOUR JUNK?! IS IT?!?!" Then I would set his electronics on fire while sobbing into a glass of moscato about where did I go wrong.

fucking lol

[snickers]

Apr 19, 2014 22:08:24 GMT -5 @smace said:

Probably some variation of that ^^

All privileges would end, immediately. I don't know how/when/if he'd get them back. But I would take every single privilege away.

And then we'd go over why it's bad to send nude pictures of yourself not only as a general RULE but also bc 16 = minor = child porn and he could actually end up

ditto, lol!

[vicky]

Apr 20, 2014 0:18:54 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

I would hope he'd applied a flattering instagram filter prior to sending.

Valencia or xxpro so it would have a tan.

[cinnamoncox]

Apr 20, 2014 2:59:32 GMT -5 nuggetbrain said:

I would have a calm, rational discussion about what he did and why it was wrong, including the legal consequences he was opening himself up to. Then I would take away his phone and ground him for a month.





LAWLS, no, not really, I would force him to watch Chris Hanson asking people to take a seat for hours while screaming "THESE ARE THE PEOPLE WHO ASK FOR DICK PICS. IS THIS WHO YOU WANT SEEING YOUR JUNK?! IS IT?!?!" Then I would set his electronics on fire while sobbing into a glass of moscato about where did I go wrong.

This would be exactly what I'd do if it were my son.
That's scary shit. DS is 15. The idea of him sending dic pics gives me hives

[DotAndBuzz]

I'd probably hulk smash his phone in front of him, his world as he knew it would end, and then I'd haul his ass to an attorney so he could get the shit thoroughly terrified out of him regarding the potential legal consequences of his choices.

Ditto if my girls did something similar.

eta - upon further deliberation (look at me being all "legal," lol), I think I'd fly SueSue or Elle out here to do the scary lawyer talk.  Whoever would be scarier.  Maybe both.  And then I'd drown my sorrows in my wine fridge.

[underwaterrhymes]

My kid is totally going to have a Zach Morris phone. This fucking terrifies me.

[DotAndBuzz]

Apr 20, 2014 7:35:17 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

My kid is totally going to have a Zach Morris phone. This fucking terrifies me.

YES.  N asked me yesterday when she could have her own phone.  My answer was, at first, "when you're older."  I wish it could be never. 

[Deleted]

I would lose my shit. No way is that acceptable.

His phone would be downgraded to those that can only call 3 specific numbers. With no camera.

[cinnamoncox]

Apr 20, 2014 1:22:55 GMT -5 thelurkylulu said:

Unfortunately, this is so common amongst kids these days. It is terrifying. There have been several incidents this year at our high school/junior high. The latest one involves 7th & 8th grade girls snap chatting naked pics, which were screen shot and then passed around. The pictures ended up on a high school boy's Instagram and he is now trying to avoid some sort of child porn charge. (He is saying he didn't realize the girls weren't 18.) Such a shitty situation all the way around.

It blows my mind this has become a standard thing to do when the consequences can screw up their entire future. I fear for what will be "normal" behavior when my kids are this age. Honestly, how do you prevent it? You can't be with them every minute of the day. Scares me to death.

La la la la I can't hear you !!!

Omg my son is in 9th. Sweet baby Jesus please I cannot even with this (

I'm not naive. At all. But I just don't get it.
Maybe I had poor self esteem (?) because "in thing" or not, there was no way in hell I would have been sending naked pics in high school, and I was no prude. I just don't understand at all.

I have never been so glad that DS doesn't have a phone. He makes me feel like I'm awful for not letting him have one at 15, but I don't see a need for it.
I feel slightly validated right now. Only slightly.

[hopecounts]

Apr 19, 2014 22:35:48 GMT -5 @jezebel said:

And the other thing is, this kid has a ton of behavioral/developmental issues (he's adopted). I just wonder if... idk, maybe she feels like this is the least of his problems? Picking her battle?

No, No, No.
When your kid has developmental issues you have to hit this type of thing hard because they don't necessarily have the capability to understand and make good decisions about appropriateness and this kind of inappropriateness can land them in jail and they need the parents to help them protect themselves. 

First step, phone gone
second step, visit with a lawyer and have an impartial 3rd party explain just what legal ramifications there might be.'
3rd step a conversation with their therapist team if applicable so that they can do some work on understanding appropriate and inappropriate sharing.

[pinkpinot]

I don't plan on allowing my son to turn 16 so...I'M SAFE.

[thelurkylulu]

Apr 20, 2014 7:53:23 GMT -5 carrotsmakemefat said:

I not a parent but the "oh all the kids do it these days" comment is bullshit. I'd be way stricter purely bc of the legal consequences of doing something so damn stupid. STUPID teen! Stupid. If that shit kept up I may send him to one of those youth programs where they throw you in jail for a day. See what it's like stupid kid.

On another note, that Chris Hansen show used to be so entertaining. Sad topic, but entertaining

But how do you stop it when a-snapchat keeps no record of what they send and b-their entire generation thinks it's NBD and c-I don't know that 13 and 14 y/o kids are fully able to grasp how damaging the consequences to this are. I wasn't saying that because they all do it, it's okay. It's not okay.

How do you prevent it? Do you not give them a cell phone or electronic device at all? I'm not sure that's realistic. Sure, take it away if you catch them. But trust me, way more are doing it than just those that are caught.

[Saint Monica]

I would break his fingers and arms. I'm a reasonable person like that.

[Jenniatonu]

I work in a middle school, and this is a big problem with our students. Parents don't care, the kids don't care...

Usually the ones who freak out and break down are the boys. The girls are MAJOR repeat offenders. :-(

[peachdragon]

Apr 19, 2014 22:44:51 GMT -5 gpw said:

Apr 19, 2014 22:40:23 GMT -5 thinkofthesoldiers said:

Yeah, but doesn't this have the possibility of becoming a legal issue? Least of his issues could very easily become his biggest one. (Don't kids get charged with having child porn or whatever if they text pics like this?)

Yes.  They do.  This is no joke.  I can't believe a parent can be so cavalier about something like this.  

Also, adoption doesn't necessarily = behavioral/developmental issues.  I am sure you don't think it does... it's just a subject that is sensitive to me.  

Uh. Yeah. 

[lolobeth802]

We've unfortunately had several problems with my almost 14 year old and phone liberties. He hasn't done what was in OP, but has certainly misused it. The thing is, it's much easier for an awkward teen to text something they wouldn't otherwise say out loud or in person. Each time (even though some were minor), his phone was taken away for a week or so. This last incident made me want to throw it in the lake. We've taken it away indefinitely at this point. He's just not being responsible with it. It just sucks, because it punishes us too. Not having that line
of communication makes things much harder.

[cville]

One of the men I work with who has a successful, intelligent, savvy college-age daughter told me a couple years ago "You have a girl. You need to tell her 'do not take naked pictures of yourself or anyone else, ever.' You think this is common sense, but they don't understand. Start when she's 9."

He then came back a day or so later and was like "I wasn't joking around before. They have to hear it."


It made me laugh and cry at the same time. And I'm totally taking his advice.

[lolobeth802]

Apr 20, 2014 18:39:51 GMT -5 @smace said:

Apr 20, 2014 18:30:08 GMT -5 lolobeth802 said:

We've unfortunately had several problems with my almost 14 year old and phone liberties. He hasn't done what was in OP, but has certainly misused it. The thing is, it's much easier for an awkward teen to text something they wouldn't otherwise say out loud or in person. Each time (even though some were minor), his phone was taken away for a week or so. This last incident made me want to throw it in the lake. We've taken it away indefinitely at this point. He's just not being responsible with it. It just sucks, because it punishes us too. Not having that line
of communication makes things much harder.

www.familysafemedia.com/firefly_prepaid_mobile_phone.html

I swear, I never ever ever want my kids with real cell phones. ugh. 

We didn't even know this existed!! Thank you

[jenna]

Apr 20, 2014 7:29:55 GMT -5 DotAndBuzz said:

I'd probably hulk smash his phone in front of him, his world as he knew it would end...

My first thought, too.

But then I remembered my 13 year old doesn't own a phone.  And at the rate he's going (he's not very responsible) he won't be getting one from us.

[livinitup]

On the phone I pay for? Ha ha ha ha.

Yeah, no phone. And he *might* get a phone when he pays for it. Might.

And I'd probably do something like print all of the penis photos on large paper and plaster them all over the kitchen. To drive home the point that THERE IS NO PRIVACY ON LINE.

[mrsjuleshs]

Phone gone!!!

[sparkythelawyer]

I believe the technical term is: Grounded until the end of time.

[irishbride2]

snap chat sure as hell would be gone, as would any similar apps. Then a restriction code would be put on his app store so he could not download anything without me typing in the code.

That would be on top of punishments.