Post by scribellesam on Apr 20, 2014 14:26:25 GMT -5
This thread has had a lot of nice thoughtful comments and responses. I appreciate everyone's perspective and am working out my own feelings on the issue. It does feel odd to me to combine my religion's most holy day with the extravagant present giving I've seen here and on FB.
On the other hand, what other people do for their kids shouldn't affect me in any way. And I did get DS a modest basket with a few gifts and an egg hunt with candy so I can't act all superior about consumerism just because my degree of it differed from others. Hmm, complicated. I appreciate this board's ability, as usual, to discuss these issues calmly and intelligently.
When someone compiles the list of what is an acceptable FB post and what can only be considered FB AWing, please let me know. I'd hate to get them mixed up.
Oh wait, FB's entire purpose is AWing? That does present a wrinkle...
Also, not to get all Fox News, but the secularization of Easter is starting to feel a little weird.
It's normal: see Christmas, Ramadan, the haj ... heck, I have atheist/non-practicing friends who sort of try to observe Lent. But that doesn't mean it doesn't feel weird.
Easter started pagan anyway... They kept the tradition of having it during the first full moon after Spring, when they switched to Christianity. The eggs and everything... Very pagan.
My parents got a hell of a lot less than I did for holidays. The uptick in stuff isn't a new phenomenon to say the least. And I'm not picking on anyone but in hate how we judge people for buying their kids stuff in CELEBRATION of a holiday...meanwhile it's ok to buy a luxury car or handbag, or take vacations or eat out at restaurants, etc....and AW it on FB or elsewhere. I hate the policing of what is & is not ok to spend money on. And personally I really enjoy seeing all of the above..I get ideas of gifts for my kids, places I want to go, restaurants I might want to try, etc. it really, really doesn't bother me at all.
I don't judge any of this but I do wonder where it comes from. It seems like nowadays, people are really into celebrating ALL of the holidays as bigger ift giving celebrations (including Vday and St. Paddy's day in here too) than they used to be. What's next, July Fourth?
It's a weird to me because it's hard to draw the line as a parent. We bought the boys stomp rockets, Legos, some Disney plane characters, books, side walk chalk, and some candy. This is waaaay more like X-mas would have been for me as a kid than Easter (which would have prominently featured hard boiled eggs, some jelly beans, and some peeps, lol). So where does this lead? What kind of expectations does this build?
I don't judge any of this but I do wonder where it comes from. It seems like nowadays, people are really into celebrating ALL of the holidays as bigger ift giving celebrations (including Vday and St. Paddy's day in here too) than they used to be. What's next, July Fourth?
It's a weird to me because it's hard to draw the line as a parent. We bought the boys stomp rockets, Legos, some Disney plane characters, books, side walk chalk, and some candy. This is waaaay more like X-mas would have been for me as a kid than Easter (which would have prominently featured hard boiled eggs, some jelly beans, and some peeps, lol). So where does this lead? What kind of expectations does this build?
I really think most parents are trying to find alternatives to chocolate. For me it was. Stickers and colouring books etc are easier for me to give her than chocolates. I gave her less than a dozen chocolate eggs and all day she has been asking for another one. Imagine there was more candy.
That's how it started for us too. But now DS1 expects Legos on every holiday, including Vday and St. Paddy's, lol. It just makes me wonder what the expectation will be when he's 8, 12, 14? Etc.
I get what you are saying. I don't really care what others do but it's too much for me. I try not to be excessive but our family has no boundaries so she gets tons anyway.
This is exactly where I'm at. I don't care what others do. I admit, I got 6 month old DS a basket, so it was obviously more for me than for him. But I got things I thought he might need/like over the next few months. Squeeky eggs, baseball hat, soft bat and ball, board books, sunblock, teether, etc. I know it was 'more' than I needed to do, but it was in moderation (for me). When he's older, I imagine we'll add in a little egg hunt too because that seems fun!
But after celebrating with just ONE side of the family yesterday, we came home with a bag full of stuff (some stuff I'd like to call crap, because we have no use for it). Battery operated singing chickies, dollar store toys, a bib, several outfits, a stuffed animal that sings the ABCs, two fire trucks, a gift card, more board books, etc. Once we see my parents (divorced, so twice the presents), I'm sure he'll have even more stuff.
I'm glad our families love DS and want to spoil him (talk about a FWP). But honestly, I would have been happy just having a nice day with family... having a yummy meal and enjoying the nice weather outside. Instead it was an endless parade of 'Look what the Easter bunny left at MY house for you!'. It did feel like mini-Christmas. And I don't quite know how to stop it without seeming ungrateful.
Maybe it's because parents have more money & less children? Maybe it's because goods are cheaper relatively now that China/Asia has made things so much more in reach? Maybe it's the eternal desire to provide more (more stuff, more fun, more opportunities) to our children than we had? Maybe it's guilt due to less time many parents physically spend with their children now that 2-income families are the norm? Maybe it's our deep seeded concern that our children will feel less than their friends who may get "more"? Maybe it's competitiveness? Maybe we just have way cooler, funner stuff available to buy? Maybe marketing people are really good at their jobs? Likely the "why" is different for different people. All I'm saying is I am not surprised, this is human nature. I think a lot of the selective outrage is really just wanting reassurance. (PS--My kids got about what I got as a kid. I was way less restrained when I was a new parent & had 1-2 kids. It was fun for us. Now we just don't "need" anything so we get them a lot less gifts. )