Anyone got confessions?

[Deleted]

We have been at Coachella, but we miss misotiny, so we're visiting her and then going back later.

This is how the olds do music festivals!

[gpw]

I would rather hang by my fingernails that hang with anyone in my family today (my family OR my in laws) but I'm also sad because I totally miss the family GTGs we used to have. H is working so I'm stuck with my mom who is driving me NUTS. You know, just like every other day. We didn't even go to church. We woke up late and I wasn't too disappointed because the thought of seeing all the families with kids....yeah, I just couldn't.

/pity party

[callalily]

I'm eating all my kids jelly beans while they are passed out napping. Parenting win.

[lime]

H's grandmother has regressed to the point where she remembers almost nothing, has cut off family members who have tried to help her and acted like a sullen toddler at dinner the last time we saw her. At the end of the meal, she decided she was done and got up to leave without saying goodbye to H even though we'd driven 6+ hours to see her.

I would be ok if I didn't see her again before she died at this point.

[Deleted]

I really wanted a piece of the cheesecake I just made for tomorrow's dinner,  so I told h that I'll have to make a new one because this one didn't turn out. It was delicious, lol.

[Deleted]

I've decided I really hate the militaristic metaphors that everyone uses to describe cancer. It's not a fight or a battle or a war. It's a disease.

DH's cancer isn't curable and it's not because he's not 'fighting' hard enough, it's because he has an incurable fucking disease. I wish people would stop saying that crap to me. I know they mean well, but it just makes me feel worse.

[circa1978]

I don't even live 5 minutes away from my family and we elected not to go to the big group celebration today. My mom and aunt can be...overwhelming and we have never spent a holiday just DH, me and Henry in the 3 years since he's been born. It was awesome. I did a little egg hunt for Henry this morning and hid his basket. We had a great brunch at home, then went to the zoo forever. I'm making a ham in the crock pot and made my favorite carrot cake for dessert. I am currently stretched out on the deck in the sun while Henry sleeps and H makes potatoes. I will probably never get away with not doing the big family celebration again for years, since my mom is pretty pissed I think, but this is the most pleasant Easter I can remember.

[gpw]

I'm so sorry @ameliapond. It's hard when you know people mean well but it doesn't change your feeling like you want to punch them. It's hard to know what to say in a situation, but I really wish people would understand that sometimes and "I'm sorry" works. Hugs to you.

[bania]

I just got home this morning and DH is flying out this evening for work (only a week).

I'm going shopping on the way home from the airport so I'm excited to drop him off. He's so lucky to have me. Lol.

[blackcat]

Can I stick a vent in here instead of a confession? I am so fucking over MIL's antics, it's not even funny. Last night, I received a phone call from a friend 'Jen' (she's married to a guy DH has been friends with since childhood) who said MIL AND MIL's nosy neighbor across the STREET have been messaging her, trying to talk about the situation with me/DH/his parents (we cut off the ILs, haven't seen them since last June). MIL knows Jen and I are friends. She tried this BS with another one of our friends several months ago, messaging them on Facebook, trying to tell them about her tale of woe. OMG. STOP FUCKING AIRING THE DIRTY LAUNDRY. LEAVE OUR FRIENDS OUT OF THIS. Anyway, Jen asked me how to respond. I told her to please just say she doesn't feel comfortable getting involved. Does she do that? No. Ten minutes later Jen texts me this long ass response that she sent to MIL, saying she feels terrible about the situation, that MIL should keep trying to reach out to us, that she's praying for all of us, etc. JHC!!!! Thanks "friend"!!!!

DH got really pissed and texted his mother and told her to stop messaging our friends, and to tell her NEIGHBOR to stay out of it as well! UGH.

[Deleted]

Apr 20, 2014 16:39:03 GMT -5 lime said:

H's grandmother has regressed to the point where she remembers almost nothing, has cut off family members who have tried to help her and acted like a sullen toddler at dinner the last time we saw her. At the end of the meal, she decided she was done and got up to leave without saying goodbye to H even though we'd driven 6+ hours to see her.

I would be ok if I didn't see her again before she died at this point.

It sounds like you're blaming her for her mental deterioration?

[sewf]

We didn't go to my family's Easter, either. We just went over there two weeks ago. We see my mom 4+ times a week since she watches DS, and she is really the only family I want to see on a regular basis. The older I get, the more I wonder how I came from my family.

[lightyears]

i'm super happy we didn't do anything for easter. i got a ton of food prep done for the week and i made sunday gravy and my favorite garlic bread.

our house is so clean and the dogs are so very happy and snuggly today.

we need to play hooky from holidays more often.

[tacocat]

Apr 20, 2014 16:41:28 GMT -5 @ameliapond said:

.

I am so sorry I know that people think they are saying the right things, but it can be hurtful to you/your husband.

Good thoughts coming your way!

[lime]

Apr 20, 2014 17:07:46 GMT -5 @stellasmom said:

Apr 20, 2014 16:39:03 GMT -5 lime said:

H's grandmother has regressed to the point where she remembers almost nothing, has cut off family members who have tried to help her and acted like a sullen toddler at dinner the last time we saw her. At the end of the meal, she decided she was done and got up to leave without saying goodbye to H even though we'd driven 6+ hours to see her.

I would be ok if I didn't see her again before she died at this point.

It sounds like you're blaming her for her mental deterioration?

Not blaming, no. Blaming is too strong of a word. 

There's a lot to this situation, obviously, but with her lack of remembering who most people are and her huge change in personality, it all seems so fruitless. 

[pantsparty]

Apr 20, 2014 16:57:16 GMT -5 farmvillelover said:

talked to my mom this morning on skype and hinted to her we're considering stopping at 1 child. she was so disappointed and said "don't be stupid you have to have at least 1 more. it's our only happiness is grandkids." fuck if that didn't give me major guilt. even at 36 i am very much swayed by what my parents think and want.

 

[Kristinmo]

I'm pissed at DH for being sick today. It's his birthday even but I'm mad we had to cancel Easter plans. Don't worry, I'm playing the loving wife and haven't complained once.

[RoxMonster]

This is the first holiday we've celebrated since FIL passed away, yet I think it was one of the best ones we've had.

NOT because FIL isn't there; we're all still sad and miss him and wish he was. But I think going through that, especially at the end, made us all a lot closer and strengthened our bond, especially me with MIL. We went out to brunch with BIL, his g/f, MIL, and my parents, and I had a really great time. I just wish we could've all been this way when FIL was still alive. It sucks that sometimes it takes a death to make things this way.

[speckledfrog]

Apr 20, 2014 16:57:16 GMT -5 farmvillelover said:

talked to my mom this morning on skype and hinted to her we're considering stopping at 1 child. she was so disappointed and said "don't be stupid you have to have at least 1 more. it's our only happiness is grandkids." fuck if that didn't give me major guilt. even at 36 i am very much swayed by what my parents think and want.

What a crap thing to say.  You are not responsible for your mother's happiness.  If she can't find fulfillment outside of her grandchildren it shows a lack on her side.  I'm seriously pissed for you.  Since she is not the one actually raising the child she has no freaking say.

[elleblue]

I shared a teeny taste of caviar with my dogs and they're mad for it of course. It's too salty to give them any more but obviously totally okay for us. lol

[RoxMonster]

Apr 20, 2014 16:57:16 GMT -5 farmvillelover said:

talked to my mom this morning on skype and hinted to her we're considering stopping at 1 child. she was so disappointed and said "don't be stupid you have to have at least 1 more. it's our only happiness is grandkids." fuck if that didn't give me major guilt. even at 36 i am very much swayed by what my parents think and want.

I'm an only child and H and I don't want any kids. I totally get the same thing from my mom except that she won't have any grandkids. The guilt is a hard thing to deal with. Yet it's yours and your H's decision. I just keep telling myself that.

[Deleted]

Thanks everyone. I have my first counseling appointment next month, hopefully that will help.

[whiskeyandwine]

I want to hug gpw. I get you on the kid thing. I hope you had a happy Easter, and I'm happy to see you posting over here!

lime - My H's grandmother is slowly losing her memory. She refers to me exclusively as "That wife of yours!" She'll even say to my H, when I'm sitting right there, "Well, does that wife of yours need more tea?" lol. At any rate, your not sounding too kind w/ what you're saying. Perhaps you meant, it would be easier to remember her the way she was rather than the way she is today? IDK, I'm just trying to find a way for you to not look so mean in what you said. If I had my grandma back, even just for one dinner, I would be so happy.

I have no confessions, because I'm super lame today.

[themoneytree]

Apr 20, 2014 16:39:03 GMT -5 lime said:

H's grandmother has regressed to the point where she remembers almost nothing, has cut off family members who have tried to help her and acted like a sullen toddler at dinner the last time we saw her. At the end of the meal, she decided she was done and got up to leave without saying goodbye to H even though we'd driven 6+ hours to see her.

I would be ok if I didn't see her again before she died at this point.

Wow. : (

[amberlyrose]

I really miss my family and our big get togethers we had. I love DH's family, but every holiday I just get angry that we moved up here for them and they never do anything on holidays. I'm a little bitter seeing all my cousins on FB, or face timing with my parents and siblings while they enjoy brunch together. Plus, H is gone for another 3 weeks and I was all by my lonesome today.

[themoneytree]

We had a nice Easter with the kiddo, had lunch out and an egg hunt, park, etc.
But I still wish we had some family around we could spend holidays with.

[janegold]

Apr 20, 2014 17:29:30 GMT -5 lime said:

Apr 20, 2014 17:07:46 GMT -5 @stellasmom said:

It sounds like you're blaming her for her mental deterioration?

Not blaming, no. Blaming is too strong of a word. 

There's a lot to this situation, obviously, but with her lack of remembering who most people are and her huge change in personality, it all seems so fruitless. 

This is when she needs her family's love and support the most.  It's not easy to slowly lose a loved one this way, but if you stop taking it personally and just do your best to be loving in spite of the pain and hurt, it gets a lot easier.

[UnderProtest]

I'm really frustrated with my husband lately and I don't know how to express it.

[Deleted]

Apr 20, 2014 16:39:03 GMT -5 lime said:

H's grandmother has regressed to the point where she remembers almost nothing, has cut off family members who have tried to help her and acted like a sullen toddler at dinner the last time we saw her. At the end of the meal, she decided she was done and got up to leave without saying goodbye to H even though we'd driven 6+ hours to see her.

I would be ok if I didn't see her again before she died at this point.

I'm sorry.

[BaliHai]

Apr 20, 2014 17:29:30 GMT -5 lime said:

Apr 20, 2014 17:07:46 GMT -5 @stellasmom said:

It sounds like you're blaming her for her mental deterioration?

Not blaming, no. Blaming is too strong of a word. 

There's a lot to this situation, obviously, but with her lack of remembering who most people are and her huge change in personality, it all seems so fruitless. 

This attitude is incredibly selfish of you.